Hello to our digital family welcome back to your favorite Trio sibling podcast it is a tribe called Dylan I’m Angie Dillon and I’m Rose Dillon and I’m Alvin Dillon and welcome back to another episode today we have a really cool topic we’re gonna hold the suspense until we get
Through our win of the week segment over to you Rose all right well I’m actually going to take it back to the wedding I this was a win that I had written in my journal and I was really proud of myself you know um during the wedding you know we’re
Drinking we’re all partying and it came to one of the nights and everyone’s like let’s take shots this is our cousin’s wedding yeah the big one big long wedding production that we had and someone’s uh said we’re gonna do shots and I was like yeah I don’t I don’t do
Shots I’m like no you’re gonna do shots tonight and I was like no I really I know myself I don’t do shots so they poured the shots they tried to force it down to me and I realized I’m not gonna be able to win with the 10 of them so I
Just ran away took off I left the the scene and came back 20 minutes later when they finished their shots and said yep I know my limit I play Within it I’m someone who stay within it that I can only have a couple drinks and now that
You get older you get wiser you reflect and you know that I have a two maximum three drink limit and so I said no to shots and I did not succumb to peer pressure good girl thank you for you thank you I I think what happens the All
Of Me would have sucked come to it yeah and I think what happens is uh and I’m I’m an observer because I’m not much of a drinker but I think when people are drinking together that peer pressure that amp like do it do it and that mob
Mentality kind of comes in and used to come and you’re like okay just gonna do it but it takes a lot to just walk away from the situation say you know you all get wasted but I’m gonna be good yep good for you pretty sure I was one of
Those people in the background even I wasn’t drinking I was like do it do it yeah good for you Rose thank you yeah thank you when in doubt just run away yep and no means no no and people have to respect there’s too many of them for
Me to keep saying no because they’re forcing it just take off and just remove yourself from the situation then come back to myself yeah and you got to set boundaries with yourself and boundaries are in place for you exactly good that’s like that’s a
Great win thank you and Al you um I got a good win this is actually involves my uh one of my cousins so usually every year he takes on the responsibility of planning like a Brother’s uh we like to go out and see a comedy show because we
All said before as we’re getting a little bit older like we’re not in the mood to go to clubs and bars and do this nonsense because half of us are not want to go to get drunk on a Tuesday or Wednesday night so he just said okay
We’re gonna start making um an outing together which would be a comedy show he’s like some people can have a few drinks we’ll go out for dinner after and we’ll call it a night so he planned one uh this year and before when he did you
Give us about a month notice and this time when I was like we need longer notice that we give a six months notice wow the show isn’t uh like this first week of December and he let us all know that but he put us in a group chat so
We’re all assuming we’re all pay for our own tickets is that we’re usually those so I invited a few extra people and I said we need to get this many tickets about 10 or 11. so you got no problem he’s like I went to go order it but
They’re only allowing me order six on my credit card is it can you buy the rest I was like yeah sure no problem I’ll send you the money so then when I ordered it I let him know I got the tickets he said okay sure I’m gonna send you over an
E-transfer I was like I just deduct my ticket price out of it he’s like yeah okay so he just sends me over like 250 which is more than what the tickets were and I messaged it back I was like hey man you sent me more he’s like oh yeah I
Just wanted to let you know like I don’t know why people keep messaging me but he’s like this outing is on me he’s like and I was like oh man that’s so nice I was like I didn’t know that he was like yeah he’s like stop insulting me with um
Tell me you guys want to pay me back and stuff I was like well I feel insulted that you’re insulted so I just said I was like okay no problem I was like well I didn’t I said to him but I know I’m gonna do it after I was like I’ll just
Even it out once we go meet up but I said I’m not gonna drink so I was like I’ll drive one car and we get at least three extra four extra people with me too so that’ll help out you guys can go and drink and have some fun so I was
Like that’s my way to kind of paying back but I’ll also cover great it’s really nice that’s very generous and if he does hear this part he’ll probably be upset about that but it will happen that’s great and you know what what great leadership skill on on our
And I’m going to organize an event yeah and to keep the bond with yeah he’s always done that too he’s always like trying to keep everyone together it’s just sometimes I don’t go to volume all of them because it turns to be drinking faster so sometimes I’m just like okay
That’s too much for me but I feel like now with UL that you set your boundaries and your intentions and you tell everyone like listen it’s not for me right now I’m taking a break I think everyone respects that yeah I understand yeah and thank God for the new Corona
0.0 those are really they help out when just run away people drinking and when you don’t have nothing in your hand people will forget after about an hour or two when they’re drunk so you just have something in your hands like you’re drinking beer too they’re so good no I
And I think it all it takes is one person in the group to say hey I’m not drinking because I bet you sometimes in the group when you’re with people everyone else is thinking the same thing but nobody wants to be that one to say
Hey I’m not drinking so if you say it you kind of open up the dialogue for everyone saying yeah you know what let’s make this an alcohol-free night let’s just have a good time and he he goes through his cycle too when he’s not drinking the other way it’s been like
Three or four months I’m not drinking yeah yeah but he still goes out and have fun but I mean I’m gonna go uh becoming a drinking Fest great that’s great you’re gonna have to fill us in when you go to the event we’re going to see
Jessel Nick so it’s this guy like I’ve never heard of him until he told me about it and he always discovers these kind of people before they’re becoming famous because he saw another comedian a few years ago which we now he’s big time and I saw a CSI was pretty funny like a
Little dark sometimes but very funny that got good storytelling and he’ll become probably the next big thing so I love seeing them when they’re in small venues before they make it big yeah I agree my win of the week is so a couple of weeks ago I showed you that I made a
Purchase of a outdoor roller skate and I was on the quest to find a pair of indoor roller skates roller skates roller skates guess what drum roll again oh don’t these look nice I feel like they’re like almost look like a hockey player I mean hockey and I mean like
Those they’re really pretty yeah so I got a pair of uh these are indoor roller skates because you can’t like I said use indoor outdoor and vice versa so these are specifically for an indoor skating rink that I will one day be coming to a skating rink near you and you will see
Me uh try to rollers so you’re just gonna like roll around in your bedroom then for now you know what I actually do right now is in my rec room downstairs I fourth because it’s hardwood hardwood floor and I’m finding the balancing because that’s what it is right I’m able
To stop but I’m not I’m I’m not ready for pavement yet baby steps the good thing is if you damage any drywall it can always be fixed okay thank you yeah because we’ve got a guy who knows but I put chairs on both sides so the most I
Can just Ram into a chair and have cushions behind it because I don’t want to damage anything so you know that’s the the OCD me and the preparation I’ve got a pillow behind it so I will go that way um it’s scary it’s exciting I got the
Butterflies again and it took me back to when I was a kid and I’m like that’s exactly the intent and the rationale behind why I bought the roller skates was to kind of create that yummy feeling of when I was a child that that euphoria that Euphoria yeah right Nostalgia yeah
Okay let’s get into today’s uh episode because sometimes we jab on for too long I find and then I’m like dang it we only talked about that episode for ten minutes we get too excited in our own conversation about regular stuff sorry sorry towards yours and listeners
Sometimes we just get carried away and if we do get carried away tell us sometimes like hey wrap it up wrap it up go back to that episode we want to know more about it uh we actually had a uh one of our uncles told us during the
Wedding time yeah love this Uncle from California and he came out and said hey your episodes are too short I want more you have to give me more and I turn around I said to this Uncle I said Uncle the average attention span of most individual or just people in general are
Between 10 to 15 minutes so the fact that we’re pushing out 25 to 30 minute content and they’re heavy sometimes we’re not I feel that we’re not capturing everyone’s full undivided attention hence why we make the episode shorter but if you feel that our episodes should be longer let us know
Yeah and if you don’t then we’ll know to keep them no news is good news right okay I’m super excited about this uh this content here so for those of you that watch The Bachelor or The Bachelorette this September well by the time this airs this this episode will come out so
It’s ABC that has come out with a new concept for the very first time they’re introducing a segment called the Golden Bachelor you guys know what that means I’ve heard about it okay so it’s going to be the oldest bachelor in the history of the bachelor segment pretty cool yeah
He his name is Gary turner He’s 71 years old he looks like a Jeep that’s good he looks like that looks like it from Baywatch yes uh David what’s it happen David Hasselhoff David Hasselhoff I’m like this guy’s 71 I want to know his Beauty yeah right yeah full set of hair
You know he looks fantastic now without going too much and and you know without revealing too much on this episode here because I do want you know our listen and our viewers to at least tune in and give this guy a chance uh their backstory is his wife passed away a
Couple years ago okay oh yeah you already did the background on him okay and they made a promise to each other that no matter what happened they wanted them to be happy so if it meant finding another partner in the end then that’s what they wanted their Partners to do so
The fact that he’s going out and being vulnerable at 71 as the oldest bachelor in the history of the bachelor uh production and and of this whole entire uh I guess what do you call this like the um what is it is it Siri the franchise yeah the whole entire episode
The fact that he’s being vulnerable and going out there it’s amazing uh I haven’t watched The Bachelor and The Bachelorette in a long time just because I wasn’t able to connect to it everybody’s much younger than me I just found it a little a little too much backstories behind it too alcohol and
Getting them to do wild stuff just enjoyable me either yeah yeah and I just felt just for the guy that was an interesting yeah this is interesting this is a first of all look 71 and that the fact that now they’re starting to change their their narrative exactly demographics so that’s that’s really
Cool and you know what you’re never too old to find love no and I think finding love when you get older is actually more beautiful because you appreciate it then when you’re at least for me I know when you’re and it gives hope for the older generation right the younger generation
We know that you know what it’s not too hard to find love you can go on Tinder or you know go on those uh Bubbles and you can find love but it’s really hard when you get to a certain age to try and find someone with substance someone that
Has a lot of things in common with you or shares the same value system so we’re super excited to see Gary Turner’s um Journey Through The Bachelor and we will probably every couple of weeks perhaps maybe do a segment recap when it airs yeah this is the first time again I
Don’t watch that show maybe 10 15 years ago I did as well but when this got um came into my feed I was like this is interesting this is you know like you said changing the narrative and what I really appreciate about a story is his wife passed away from cancer six years
Ago so she was sick for a while before she you know passed away and six years a lot of time I think he just giving himself enough time to grieve and heal from that and then now say okay you know what my children are all older I don’t
Have any responsibilities I’m it’s time for me to see if I can do the last small shorter life he maybe have 10 years 20 years to see if he can find love again I think it’s beautiful the way he’s going he might go to like 90 to 25 years I’d
Say yeah and he’s taking a big step because instead of finding love they’re coming to find him yeah he’s just standing there and he’s got 30 girls or yeah So good job Gary this player’s gonna play and I love the fact that ABC’s doing this finally finally some things are changing and people are telling me Martha on Sports and now we’re talking about Gary 71. all right we see we’re see we see you Hollywood we see what
Happens I just think it’s just mainstream media is changing now there’s a shift going on right I agree okay so let’s get into our questions here okay um you guys have kind of answered this but let’s go to y’all what do you think about this concept by ABC I think it’s
Really cool do you think it’s gonna work it’s it’s they needed a change if you think about how many seasons they’ve had like 13 20 they needed something different and given our current landscape of what’s going on in the media and the industry we people need to see something different not just the
Standard 21 year old 30 year old Bachelor that’s looking for somebody or looking for love let’s show them someone that has taken care of themselves and this is what you could potentially look at 71 years old if you kind of follow this guy’s steps I’ve been taking care
Of himself and his health because he looks it looks pretty dreamy yeah Rose what do you think about this concept by ABC you think it’s going to work you think they’re going to do more more seasons like this absolutely I think right now with um the divorce rate
Being as high as it’s ever been in in human history I think it’s what 55 they’re saying we’re reaching people are breaking up we need to know that okay if it didn’t work out there’s still hope for me I think people think once you get
To a certain age like oh it’s over for you you’re not going to be able to find love again and so for him to go out there and put himself out there to say hey let’s give it a try and do it in front of the world it’s pretty brave at
71. I don’t know if I would be that brave at that age yeah I I was I originally watched the very first um Bachelor and it was with Ryan and Trista when they got first gone they’re still together they’re still together um and after that I just found it it
Became more like a reality TV it just didn’t seem authentic for me and I just didn’t get it um and I think a lot of people were using the bachelor Bachelorette platform as a stepping stone for a career and perhaps Showbiz so I just didn’t find that P people were genuinely coming for
Love yes so with this spin I feel like there there’s there’s no way that he’s coming for anything but that because he’s lived a full life yeah and he’s coming to find a life partner or Companion now to spend the rest of his his time with on this planet so for me I
Am rooting for you Gary I’m super excited I’m gonna be I think we’re gonna do um a bachelorette Bachelor um like viewing parties or something you know people do that I know all friends that do that I probably won’t be there for that one but I’ll be there in spirit
No you’re coming you have to root for Gary no I’ll read for him I’ll watch the highlights I honestly can’t watch that I can’t watch the show either I can’t you know damn it but it’s gonna be me and the listeners I will follow up for the
Just the uh highlights of it but you’re right it’s just I mean I’m hoping these women are in their but probably 50s to 60s he’s going for age-appropriate women so I would hope that women in their age at that age are not as well but then
Again you made me watch the house size of New York those women in their 50s and they’re wild as hell and I’m like okay so maybe we wisdom doesn’t necessarily come with it true true I have to agree with that okay so now that you both said
Uh that you might not watch it when it debuts what’s your reason for that no I’ll probably watch maybe just just there’s like 20 episodes of that thing and you know that it’s it’s it’s TV you know so they’re gonna have to put some miniature Masala to that show yeah
They’re gonna have to make one woman too drunk throw in a crazy Throne they’re gonna do all this for the ratings to get it going which they don’t need to do because I think he brings the ratings himself how cool it is I I would hope ABC makes this authentic but it’s
Already been taped and done what so yeah I for me the cool part was just that they took this leap of faith of putting someone that old I mean they could have gone 50 right 50s reasonable 71 is pretty oh up there yeah I agree okay I’m
A hopeless romantic I am a sucker for love so I’m gonna be watching all the episodes and I’m going to be reporting back and Gary’s win are gonna be my win so we are gonna talk about the win of the week so Gary whatever you know wins
He has they’re gonna be uh replicated on the show because his win is my win and at the end of the day it’s all for love so I’m gonna be watching it and rooting for him so I’m excited about that okay let’s talk about just let’s talk about
Why is Finding Love is it important do you think it’s important at his age like should he go back and look for love okay so I don’t like to say the word looking for love because I think you the love is within you and you can um ignite that or
Turn it off as you please but finding a companion I think is definitely important in your last cycle of life um you want to have someone with you when you get those scary phone calls of like I gotta go in and get a test done and they found something off my blood
Work there’s nothing more beautiful than having someone with you by your side holding your hand to go through that so yes he’s 71 yes he looks great but we don’t know what really his day-to-day is and how he feels uh I think why not why
Not go and try to see if you can find someone to go through the last journey of your life with another companion doesn’t replace his wife it’s just gonna be now another uh experience that he gets to have before he leaves his Planet yeah good answer you I would agree with
That I I don’t see why someone should have to be at that age and live their life alone because they say that I think one of the one of the biggest factors which I have to get stats on is that a lot of people die early due to
Loneliness yeah because they have no one else to talk to they’re in their head they’re either consuming bad TV or bad content and it’s building up more anxiety in their head and they have no one to release it to because generally if you have a good partner too they help
You relieve your anxiety to help you relieve your stresses and they help lift your mood up when you’re down and is vice versa so I think it’s very crucial for your mental health and for your overall level of happiness and enjoyment of life that he should be uh at least
I’m not saying finding it but he should find a partner that’s gonna that that he can have things in common with and they can go spend time with and he’s not alone so like I’m rooting for Gary yeah I had a friend tell me that works in healthcare that said that people that
Are in relationships and healthy relationships live longer than those that are not in health yeah yeah I agree um okay this next question the reason I’m talking about this question is because I think it’s important for us to address it um as we’re Indians and in our culture there’s
A lot of things that are taboo when a partner passes away so what I want to know is um what about cultural taboos about not getting married after your partner dies how do you feel about that because I I’m talking from what I’ve observed in our family
Um in other people’s family and through friends and families a lot of times in our culture it doesn’t matter what the age what your age is but if your partner dies it’s almost instinctively that you’re not allowed or you shouldn’t go out and find love again you’re supposed
To meant to grieve you know and not be happy and not live a you know happy life looking for love again so I disagree with that but I want to know what both of your take is on that in our culture um I think I don’t know if this still
Happens in India but I know reading about this many many many years ago was like Sati right was uh a thing when the husband passed away they would burn the wife she would yeah she would have to die because that your husband’s gone you’re no longer allowed to live I’m
Told that there’s still certain villages in India that still practice this so we have come a long way with in the Indian society that understands that a woman can still live after her partner has passed away um but you’re right that that’s just such an outdated
I can’t my mind isn’t I can’t adapt to understand why that because your partner just passed away that you no longer can experience a partner again that the logic doesn’t make sense to me um I think that once your partner’s gone you take the time to grieve because you
Shared a life with this person I don’t think it’s healthy that my husband passed away my wife passed away and within six months I’ve got someone new because you’re really just numbing now and you’re trying to replace uh something so you’re not really doing the inner work healing you’re just kind of
Transferring all this to the new person which is not fair to the new person take the time to heal um grief grieve six years in Gary’s uh I think it’s more than a sufficient amount of time to grieve and then be prepared to move forward with your life and try
To see if you can find someone to go through life with why not if he doesn’t he doesn’t but at least he’s trying yeah right that’s well said I would totally agree with that I don’t see why that if your partner dies you essentially should die with them right not physically but
Spiritually and emotionally you’re gone to like I don’t think that’s right if you’re like 90 and your partner is like dies at like 91. I don’t think it’s worth it and you have the juice to go and go through all that you’re probably going to be on your way out pretty soon
But there’s a reasonable amount of time someone passes away you get it a few years you’ve yeah you’ve grieved you’ve worked your through the motions and you’re not like bitter or upset you’re ready to meet someone new why not like yeah I don’t see why not I think that’s
A needs to happen like in all cultures they need to have that that cultural shift to say when someone passes away it’s okay and especially if your kids are giving you the blessing too to say no you need to go find someone because us I think human beings we’re all
Connected as emotionally spiritually to people whether we like it or not and that’s how we communicate like like you said when you’re around people or good people you feel the vibe is right off the bat even if you haven’t said a word to each other you’re sitting there watch
Your movie you know I’m a good company so I think that I’m totally for that I think you should uh you shouldn’t have to feel bad about it and you should feel that you should be encouraged to say yeah you’ve had enough time now like you
Don’t want to live alone and when you do have family that’s great but people do live separately they’re not in your face all day every day and sometimes you also want your space but you need a partner yo 100 I I agree with that yeah I agree
And I think part of the reason that we did this podcast is to start talking about these generational stuff that have been carried through our parents generation and their generation into our generation and do these things serve a purpose anymore I don’t think it does because I know you know offhand
Um I can I can I don’t want to obviously say any names but I know of the people that have lost their Partners at really early ages 40s 50s and 60s and I know that they haven’t gone to look for love or they haven’t looked at the option to
Reconsider even finding a partner or if they do the biggest thing they think is what is everybody else going to say in the family what is you know Society gonna say and I say screw what Society has to say and screw what your own family has to say you do what makes you
Happy at the end of the day because when you look in that mirror you only have to answer to yourself and if your soul is happy at the end of the day and you don’t think you’re doing anything wrong that’s all that matters when I look back
Now and I look at our parents I know that Dad always has has this conversation sometimes jokingly with him with Mom and he said this to us that you know if I go before your mom goes I want you know whenever your mom is ready yeah
Um you know that I want her to be happy and if it means that it doesn’t mean that mom’s gonna go out and get remarried again it just means that mom might find a companion in the form of a male companionship and the three of us are okay with that absolutely and he’s
Given his Blessing to her on several occasions that you know if I go before you you have my absolute blessing to find yourself a companion to live yeah and I think more of that kind of dialogue needs to happen in our parents generation and our culture that it’s
Okay if my time is up and you know by a certain time unfortunately nowadays with you know with cancer and all these other illnesses out there um people’s life expectancy is being cut short so have these conversations when you’re alive with your loved ones and
Say listen if my time is up I don’t want you to be unhappy I want you you know there’s a certain grieving period of time like if you go find Sally or you know like or jet or somebody within two weeks I’m gonna come from the other side
And push you off the bed a reasonable amount of time that has passed you should be entitled to go and be happy and live your life and you’re dying days with somebody that’s my take on that put it in the will write it in the will yeah
But I just I just just want I think we’re we’re trying to change a narrative and and talk about these things because I see so much of this in in other other cultures as well and I never understand that and it’s always the woman that has
The stuff yeah because the men always a lot of times go back and they find Partners but the women naturally the double standard it’s a double standard in our culture and the women is supposed to grieve and be sad and you know and that’s not what they’re white at all
Times now she’s no longer and they can’t have a boyfriend or they can’t talk to someone what will people say I’m going to tell you something news flash people are gonna talk about you whether you like it or not so just deal with it and
At the end of the day you only gotta answer to yourself that’s all I’m gonna say that’s my Tuesday and now that you said that I gotta say I am so blessed and grateful to be born as a man man crisis averted yeah a good one out okay
Anyways now we’re getting a little serious there but I’m passionate about this right and this was a topic that when I heard about this I was like oh my God you would never see or hear about an Indian Bachelor you probably probably wouldn’t because it’s just in our
Culture we don’t do stuff like this but we got to start opening up the dialogues for like to our parents sometimes or if you have an aunt or an uncle and you know that a certain amount of time has passed by and they don’t have a
Companion you know what it’s not all you know love and intimacy sometimes it’s honestly just playing a puzzle it’s watching a movie together or going out for dinner it’s so simple mundane things that bring joy into a person’s life so you know talk to your you know if you
Know someone that hasn’t moved on or doesn’t want to move on and find out the reason why and let’s each of us each of us has a part to play in bringing joy and happiness or restoring it back into someone’s life yes agreed yeah okay so
With that said We are rooting for Gary Turner let’s do a shout out to Gary Shout Out Gary good luck on your journey good luck yeah yeah and we are going to watch your journey and we’re gonna report back from one hopeless romantic to another because he’s got to be a hopeless romantic
I wish you nothing but success and love and I truly hope that you find someone that is going to make you happy so with that said the tribe is signing off we are gonna be back again next week uh and let us know what you think about Gary
Turner if you think that what ABC is doing is super edgy and super cool until next week friends stay safe take care of yourself bye for now bye
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