This one’s like all most of my friends we all get busted for drinking or driving the best one was a buddy of mine uh they read his it was like you know approximately four in the morning we noticed a maroon VW Fox blowing its horn trying to pass on the right
We pulled the defendant over uh uh after repeatedly asking the defendant to stay in the car he got out of the car threw his keys at my feet and uh repeatedly stated lock me up and this was funny was my buddy was a good looking guy
And the the judge was a was a woman and when the guy read that you know locked me up and he wasn’t the brightest guy and he just kind of he went like he’s like put his head down like that and he was you know a little Pound Puppy
Looking dude and uh she uh she she gave him like a lighter sentence and because he was good looking I think so yeah I mean that all plays in that’s why ugly people are complaining so much like they they won’t take the time to develop a personality write some jokes do what the
Rest of us have to do like I don’t get mad at Brad Pitt you know how about me because he’s beautiful I’m a bald redheaded male I know where I am in the pecking order and some of these people who are complaining right now who are mad that beautiful people get treated
Differently I understand racially speaking but you’re not going to do the beautiful thing and then there’s another thing they try to say well Society tries to you know they’re the ones that like you know like I love them like there’s a supermodel like this is like an impossible standard of beauty to try
And live up to yeah yeah yeah that’s why she’s on the cover of a magazine she’s that level beautiful and you’re gonna try and sit there and tell me that that was learned well here’s the thing that’s only women because when you see Jason Momoa playing Aquaman you don’t hear men saying that’s
An impossible standard of beauty that we have to no I just make fun of that stupid that you have to hang on to I don’t care how much you can kick my ass that is the dumbest huge Beyond of cereal box it’s a trident for years they
Had a problem like with Aquaman it’s like he’s in the ocean human beings are on earth like what do we like I have to see that movie what are they going to be is it going to be like Japanese people like Finning is it gonna save sharp he
Goes underwater is that his skin like well the bumps what is that is that a suit doesn’t water get in the gloves you think that that would have to be all one piece right yeah it would be annoying this ain’t worse than Watering your gloves well look it looks like it
Catches them like a water catcher like not just like water gets in the gloves it’s like a funnel he looks like a stripper at a bachelorette party he does a good one unless he pays money you got a good one guy dieted down for that
Um yes he did he got all the ABS so he’s better than I am always but this is this is the fall different one Yep this is when he’s in the Black Sea you know what I mean he wants to it gets cold yeah did you see what’s going on in
The UK the UK has banned advertisements that uh feature uh unobtainable bodies the way they eat fish and chips over there that’s gonna be most of advertising well they had uh these ads for Summer Bodies you know you see a girl in a bikini and they’re now making
It illegal why can’t you aspire to that like I look at that Aquaman guy that makes me want to go to the gym I don’t be like you know you got a full head of hair look at like you got to make me feel better it’s because the people that
Complain who are the people that complain the people that complain to the people that don’t want to work to be that lady they don’t want to work to get that kind of a body and they want to they just want to not see it they don’t
Want any they don’t want to go to the subway and see a body that they’re never going to have yeah I saw I saw an actress complaining one time because the studio told that she she needed to lose 15 pounds I’m like you can’t drop 15 to star in a
Movie I mean what what carrot can they specifically carrots some veggies in your diet what do they have to dangle in front of you to go to the gym like the rest of us like I literally like because they always say oh guys don’t have to
Deal with that it’s like yeah we do of course yes we do like I had to deal with that I could gained 20 pounds dude forget about him if just having five lines in a movie if I am north of 171 72 pounds the tweets I get hey Billy booze bag hey Billy
Did I get like I know like they sit there and they like they like uh they’re acting like like pre-teens where everything is just everything’s about them and the whole world gives it celebrities what they have political views is the funniest thing ever it’s like all you’re you’re not you’re not
Making anybody change their mind politically I think I need to speak up it’s like no you can’t have the spotlight on you enough that’s all you’re doing because all you’re doing with that first of all you’re alienating half the people that are gonna go see whatever you’re in and then second
You’re just getting on the radar of lunatics in white Vans with two seats that are looking up how to build pipe bombs like that that’s that’s the Fallout it’s like the jerk when he goes the average run of the mill son of a it already picked Steve Martin the
Idea that a girl shouldn’t be asked to lose weight to look hot for a movie isn’t crazy because that’s what you’re playing you’re playing a hot woman and there’s Millions everybody’s in shape I remember seeing uh he’s still a bit about this I saw uh Ben Stiller in in meet up for something
There was a scene where he had to have his shirt off in the pool he had nabs and a comedy yeah because that’s because you were seeing the influence of the internet you know what I mean was just like you know he gets in your head people just
Trashing you like I already knew I was unsightly but I didn’t realize how many things that people didn’t enjoy about me until I got on the internet I was like wow I never noticed that about myself so um yeah I don’t have um look if somebody really has like an eating disorder you
Know I feel like my bees I have sympathy for those people but if you’re 15 pounds 20 pounds away I mean you know he drink some smoothies oh
source
