Help there’s a ferocious giant out here and I’m going to eat you up oh I wouldn’t do that if I was you I I’m afraid I’d be kind of stringy why don’t you have one of these cookies instead fresh made this morning i’ better have two I’m a pretty big giant well all
Right but no more because even Giants get holes in their teeth from too many sweets is Dad home I want to see if I’m as big as he is no he’s at the Country Club having lunch with your aunt Deedra oh speaking of your dad D what are you
Going to give him on Father’s Day you know it’s only a little more than a week off the only thing I can think of is a Lether bookmark well you gave one to your mother on Mother’s Day yeah I know it why don’t you paint him a picture
Okay say who’s your tall handsome friend I’m a ferocious giant oh I need a can of paint that’s on the highest shelf in my workshop I certainly wish I could reach it I’ll F yeah I can reach it for you wonderful I’ll be out there in a minute
Harold you know since you made in those stilts he’s ignored all his other toys oh sure he wanted to take him to bed with him last night now Hazel I could use a cup of coffee if you were thinking of putting on a pot you read my mind missy I’ll
Bring it out to you thanks Hazel mother I’ve been thaning that’s just what our country needs what have you been thinking about Harold about Hazel and how she’s always doing s things for us like making Stills oh yes we owe a lot to Hazel I don’t know how we’d get along without her it’d be like
Trying to get along without you or Dad well almost we have a Mother’s Day and a Father’s Day I was wondering why don’t we have a Hazel’s day well I don’t know Harold I guess because no one ever thought of it before can we do it I
Don’t see why why not it’s a wonderful idea she could sleep late and we could give her breakfast in bed and we can take her out to dinner like that and I always take you out of Mother’s Day tomorrow’s Sunday we don’t have any plans let’s do it tomorrow oh boy won’t
She be surprised oh I think we better tell her ahead of time what for well so she can look forward to it you know the way you look forward to Christmas and to your birthday yeah but sometimes I just can’t stand to wait another day well Hazel only has to wait one day
Here she comes can I tell her it’s your idea Hazel guess what day tomorrow is I don’t know SP to me it’s just plain old Sunday no it’s not it’s Hazel’s day what are you talking about like Mother’s Day and Father’s day it’s going to be Hazel’s day for feet sake here’s your
Coffee Missy you may not be taking this seriously Hazel but we are you’re going to have breakfast and bed and we’re going to take you out to dinner and we’ll wait on your hand and foot all day long it was my idea well I sure appreciate it sport but it Ain necessary
Well Mother’s Day and Father’s Day aren’t necessary either but Missy I’m just your ma you’re our Hazel and tomorrow’s your day and that’s final so you can start looking forward to it you only have to wait one day for p sake for Pete sake you really mean
You’re darn toon the pot taking me out to dinner too oh well that’s the most important important part that was my idea too the cat’s got my tongue I don’t know what to say oh you don’t have to say anything well I know what I got to
Do I got to get me some new Duds if it’s Hazel’s day I can’t go out in that old flowered print for piz would you like me to go shopping with you oh I sure would Missy you got such terrific taste I ain’t got much in the sock but I’m going
To blow it all you know what Hazel no what’s good you’re a doozy do you mean to say you’ve never heard of Judge barley D the legal Woods are full of Judges well he’s only the chief judge of a United States District Court oh that judge Farley yes he’s handed down
Some very important decisions Harry and I knew him socially when we lived in Boston and you mark my words George he’s headed for the Supreme Court of the United States I certainly would like to meet him he’s in town he’s coming to our house for dinner tomorrow can you and
Dorothy make it well I don’t see why not we have no other plans good oh you like him George he’s terribly dignified he belongs to F Beta Kappa and that’s one of the better fraternities you know P Beta Kappa is not a social fraternity you’re asked to join because
Of academic Excellence oh well I told you he was brainy what time is dinner 8:00 and uh we’ll dress if you don’t mind well I’m not exactly wild about getting into my tuxedo suppose I did mind it wouldn’t make the slightest difference George weird dressing just
Testing to see if you’re still the same old easygoing de all right all right Dorothy I agree with you Hazel’s day is a good idea I’m glad you agree but don’t you agree it’s also good idea for me to be the judge who’s on his way up to the Supreme Court
Yes I agree well then why can’t we have Hazel’s day next Sunday well you’re the boss darling if that’s your decision that’s what we’ll do all right that’s my decision and I think it’s very unselfish have you to give up Father’s Day who said anything about giving up
Father’s Day well it was supposed to be a week from next Sunday sure gee you know what a kick Harold gets out of Father’s Day I’d sure hate to disappoint him why he’s probably gone out and made me a nice present Dorothy you’ve trapped me oh darling I just complimented you on being
So unselfish oh the treachery of the helpless sex all right what about the Sunday after that’s our anniversary Jordan I’ve already picked out your present and the weekend after that your cousin’s coming to visit I’m surrounded of course we could forget about Hazel’s day all together if you think it’s more
Important to accommodate deardra and to meet a total stranger it’s your decision George ah some decision all right miss macelli tomorrow is Hazel’s day at least I won’t have to wear my tuxedo oh thank you darling you’re welcome you know I’m not looking forward to Breaking this
News to D why don’t you call her right now and get it over with oh no I’ll go over and tell her later it’s easier on the eardrums that sister of mine can really slam down a telephone I wonder who that is let’s go and see
Mitch hi heel what’ he say Harold you got it you new cab huh ain’t she a beauty she sure is she’s gorgeous I see it is there hello Mitch hi Mitch how you like my new Bucky well that’s the best looking taxi cab I’ve ever seen well thank you Miss
Baa just daddy Mitch well that’s awful nice have you say so Mr bter when you going to take me for a ride tomorrow night on our date tomorrow night oh I’ve hey Mitch you have a date with hazel tomorrow night sure I’m taking out to supper and then we’re going to go roller
Skating I want to show off my figure eight Hazel you can’t go Mitch tomorrow night we’re taking you out to dinner oh well sport when a friend has a date with another friend especially a good friend like Mitch here you got to keep it no matter what happens that’s a very
Commendable attitude Hazel and I certainly admire you for it but it’s Hazel’s day what’s Hazel day like Mother’s Day and Father’s day but it’s Hazel’s day and we’re having it tomorrow oh that sound like a big day and I sure wouldn’t want to snarl up the gears hey
I know what we can do what’s that Harold we can take Mitch out to dinner too then Hazel won’t have to break her date with him and that can keep on admiring here can we Dad please well it’s entirely up to you darling well all right Mitch would you
Uh care to go to dinner with us tomorrow night oh I consider a real privilege Miss Baer do then it’s all settled you come by around 7 gotcha see I got an unckle who’s got a tux I bet she’d make me a loan of it no Manch look it won’t
Be you imagine me going on a date with a fell with a tux boy I can’t hardly believe it well I’ll see all you nice Folks at 7:00 tomorrow night you know something Mr be I think tomorrow is going to be the spiffiest day of my whole whole
Life Hazel shall we go over and browse through the hats while they wrap your dress sure why not gee I hope they wrapped that dress real care missing will you look at that hat it’s lovely oh well you look at the price you tried on Missy it don’t cost
Nothing oh you discovered it you try it on Oh you mean it go ahead oh Hazel You’re A Vision an absolute Vision oh you’re kidding oh go ahead look for yourself wow oh who do I think I am Princess Grace here’s your dress Hazel oh thank thanks Miss Henry have a
Lovely time tomorrow oh thanks GE I just hope Mr be don’t get in no trouble over Hazel’s day with the Boston Bean oh don’t you worry about that George knows how to handle his sister you’re not serious no oh no you’re teasing oh George you’re always teasing me you’ve
Been doing it ever since we were children D I am not teasing tomorrow is Hazel’s day I don’t believe it it’s too fantastic well I don’t think it’s so fantastic after all we owe a lot to Hazel and what do you owe to your sister D you’re being difficult I’m being
Difficult yes you are I’ll ignore that George you may not realize it but judge Farley doesn’t accept dinner invitations from just anyone you’re passing up a rare opportunity that may not come soon again all right all right d if you really want me to meet him tomorrow
There is a way well that’s my only desire what’s the way very simple we’ll all go out to dinner together George Baxter are you out of your mind well there are several women in my life who are heading me in that direction judge KY is one of the most distinguished men
In our country today and you’re asking him to sit down to dinner with a maid and a cab driver oh he’s not just a driver well he’s a dispatcher and he owns the company besides uh he’s going to wear his uncle tuxedo his uncle’s T George Baxter there are times I
Suspect you’re not a baxter at all you’re a foundling there are times I wish that were true excuse me I find this terribly upsetting oh dear now are you really angry I’m about as angry with you as I’ve ever been in my whole life and I warn you don’t expect any favors
From me in the Future H I’m afraid breakfast wasn’t up to your usual that was the best breakfast I ever ate I felt like a queen having breakfast in bed then let’s do it every year on Hazel’s day okay mother all right why don’t you go and get Hazel’s present now okay you got me a
Present too oh just a little Bobble animal vegetable or a mineral happy Hazel’s day oh thanks B read the card to Princess Grace from her devoted serves Missy Mr be and Harold aren’t you going to open it Hazel you’re crying that’s cuz I’m so happy that’s the way women are sometimes
Son there’s no point in any mere man trying to understand it oh Mr be let Miss see you’re giving me this hat is just the difference between living life and just walking around in it you like it Mr B Hazel If This Were Easter you’d be the grandest lady in the
Parade I know it’s sinful to want to go to church just to show off your clothes but boy I just can’t wait for them bells to start Ringing [Applause] Good morning good morning Dr Carol good morning sir hi Reverend hello hazel boy that was a rip snar of a sermon you preached this morning oh thank you Hazel that’s a rip snar of a hat we gave it to her maybe to you it’s just another
Working day but to me it’s Hazel’s day like Mother’s Day or Father’s Day it was my idea and a very fine idea indeed Harold say Reverend you remember that swell quote you used from the old the one about forgiveness forgiveness is better than punishment for the one is
Proof of a gentle and the other a Savage nature ain’t that nice even though I still think you were in the wrong because of Dr Carol’s sermon I’m going to forgive you well did I’m very glad to hear that well you know George basically I’ve always been a Gentle George Baxter you are the most impossible man I’ve ever been related to and in this picture Mary’s sterlin saying to her nie now honey just because Roger your fiance turned out to be an emazing bigamist wanted in five states who left you waiting at the church is no
Reason to be upset and the niece says to Mary Sterling s I can’t help it Andy so my life is over where will I ever find another man like Roger so I don’t know why they call these the funnies they should be calling them the sades hello back to Residence yes she’s
Here just a minute it’s for you Hazel and ded’s made oh thanks Harold Hazel speak oh hell M tell me what’s so terrible about having a hat like somebody else’s anyway men do it all the time a hat is simply something to cover your head not for a woman it isn’t Mr Man well I’ll never understand it and I’ll but Albert Einstein didn’t understand it either I
Bet he can work himself into a stew trying to why don’t you just forget it darling all right what time are the sunshine girls coming over for tea going up to 5 good how would you like to go over the driving range with me while I hit a bucket of
Balls oh I’d love to Darling but I have to make those little sandwiches Hazel what’s the matter oh I don’t feel so good I think I’ll go in my room and lay down what what happened I guess I was a little too greedy with them bum bums is
There anything I can do for you Mitch’s numbers in the book over there would you call them for me and cancel our dinner date but Hazel taking you out to dinner is the most important part of the day Missy the way I feel now I won’t be eating nothing fancier than milk toast
Till round about Wednesday I’m awfully sorry Hazel isn’t feeling well but since she isn’t how do you feel about having dinner with Dedra I’m not wildly enthusiastic about it but I guess there’s no reason why we shouldn’t well uh shall I call her I suppose where’s
Hazel she’s in her room and D was me to something on the telephone that made her sad and she wouldn’t tell me what it was oh Hazel had a telephone call from M that’s very interesting hello J why’d you do that I think Hazel’s Bluffing he I want to talk to you what about your fake stomach ache what did May me call you about oh she just um she just wanted to get a recipe for my Yorkshire pudding Harold tells me she told you something that made you very
Unhappy now what was it no it it it was nothing come on Hazel out with it and that’s an order well she said on account of Hazel’s day you wasn’t getting to meet a very important judge that’s my decision and she also said on account of Hazel’s day that you and your sister
Wasn’t speaking and Mr B I don’t want to be the cause of no trouble between brother and Sister Hazel you not the cause of the trouble it’s dear’s attitude so now that your stomach ache seems to be better where do you want to go no Mr B I think you should have
Dinner with your sister and talk things over we are having dinner with you and Mitch the master has spoken Hazel so where will it be well if you really think it’s all right could we go someplace with his dancing of course cuz Mitch is a whale of a dancer [Laughter]
De Hazel one of the nicest and pretest ladies I ever hope to know oh Mitch for Pete’s sake to Haz Hazel to Hazel if anyone wants to know what day I’d like to live over I certainly have the answer already Hazel they play a charson come
On let’s get up and show them our stuff you know judge I can’t get over how inconsiderate M’s daughter Louise was deciding to have her baby before M had the roast on I don’t really think she did it on purpose shall I check your rap deer please Harry and see if you can
Get a good table Yes [Laughter] dear [Applause] oh for Pete sake it’s matter a charge JRA well it’s all crowded George maybe you won’t lock horns you know J it isn’t every day that I get to be seen in public with a man of your importance and it isn’t every day I’m exposed to a lady
Who thinks I’m I’m so much more important than I am the great ones are always modest could you excuse me a minute I think I see someone I know of course don’t stay away too long mind I cut in well [Applause] I’m Hazel Burke PS3 Clen Clen falling well where are you me
Wonderful what’s the Trouble Harry I’m afraid I’m terill hallucinations I just imagined I saw judge Farley embracing Hazel no no you’ll be all right it is a bit stuffy in here [Applause] that looks like the man who came in with d Harry you don’t suppose no that couldn’t be judge Farley it’s impossible
Harry I am having hallucinations now they’re doing Luke Charleston oh this has been the most wonderful day of my life I just want to thank everybody believe me hazel it was our pleasure and it was my idea I’m so glad everybody’s friends again excuse me aren’t you judge Farley
Well I should say he is you’re John tudin and he’s headed for the Supreme Court of the whole United States I wonder if I might take your picture for our local paper well certainly hot dog scrunch in everybody thank you be sure and send me a copy Well back to being a [Applause] pumpkin [Applause] [Applause] This has been a screen gem Film Production from the Hollywood Studios of Columbia picture Friday night H this is Friday night what do you mean I was reminding you it was Friday night oh uh well it’s been Friday all day today I sort of figured tonight would be Friday night H
Okay oh no no not tonight Hazel no poker No not tonight oh but we always play poker on Friday night well we can’t play tonight I have to work oh well for Pete sake why didn’t you tell me why didn’t you give me some warning well don’t act
As though it’s a major disaster well it’s the next thing to it all day I’ve been dreaming about the pretty things I was going to buy with my winen I’ll miss those poker sessions as much as you will miss them you mean we’re not going to
Play again not ever well I don’t know when we’ll be able to get back to them I I have some important projects going on right now and it looks as though I’ll be working Friday nights for quite a while yeah well I guess I better be running bye
Annie good luck thanks Hazel make a lot of money I’ll do my best so that we start playing poker again I can make up the L time I wish you wouldn’t work so hard Annie I’m not going to go to work this is Friday night I’m going to play poker
But you just told Hazel we’re moving the game over to Harvey’s House why to keep Hazel out of it that’s why but she loves to play poker she honey we don’t want her in the game that’s all we don’t like the way she talks all evening long we
Don’t like the way she she tells us how to play our cards and and most of all we don’t like the way she always wins I think you’re being downright mean when you consider the wonderful refreshment she fixes you and and the way she looks after you man when she learns how to
Look will love her until then I’m picking up Fred and Jack and we’re taking the new throughway over to Harvey’s [Applause] House listen to that how do Harvey standing hey Steve but when did they open that new throughway Oh by a month ago it’s taking most of the truck traffic through town well it’s not taking it through fast enough I I think that last truck sh a filling out of my
Tooth let’s get the game started I said he’d have the chips ready and wait Maybe isn’t ho I talked to him this afternoon he said 8:00 maybe forgot Ah that’s his car on the driveway let’s look in the Window What maybe maybe if if we can find a newspaper or something what do you want to do read until he happens to look this way here’s one now if I can get it under the door I can wiggle it around until I get his attention See What’s the matter with you guys what do you think you’re doing trying to get your attention why don’t you ring the bell or knock it’s [Applause] late how many uh two Fred four Harvey I think [Applause] three and I’ll take Fred couldn’t we move move over to your house and play uh-uh you know Mona no poker I’m not even here tonight I’m at the office auditing books Jack my wife’s having some kind of a club shindig at the house go ahead how many do you Want I’ll take hey fellas let’s face it Hazel makes terrific refreshment she’s a wonderful poker player let’s move back to my [Laughter] house Hazel where are the chips oh you back you mean you’re going to play poker tonight it’s Friday but I thought you had to go on this business deal uh Hazel uh when I saw how terribly disappointed you were that the game was called off I uh I thought I’d get the
Guys together for one more game where are the chips um I got bad news for you terrible news something happened to the chips oh no no they’re they’re right here but I won’t be able to play with you tonight I I got these shelves all clean out and the place is a
Mess and I can’t get breakfast you know with all this stuff here so I just won’t be able to play tonight A oh I’m sorry I feel as if I’m letting you fellas down it does sort of spoil the whole evening doesn’t it I guess we’ll just have to limp along
Without your advice oh no I’ll be poking my head in from time to time thanks Hazel bless you the pleasure is mine it certainly is was that some kind of a dick no he wouldn’t have given up that business deal if he didn’t want me in the Game well I certainly Miss Hazel in this game at this rate I’m going to have enough money to buy lunch tomorrow what time is it it’s 11: it’s early well 11:00 may be early when you’re winning but it’s late when you’re losing Harvey wake up H what time is we’ve just been through
All that you’ve been asleep for 10 minutes you slept through two hands 10 minutes that’s the longest sleep I’ve had since they put in that throughway can’t you get them to do something about all that backfiring and stuff such as what I don’t know there must be
Something why don’t you move why don’t you sell it you’ve been in it you heard who’d want to buy that house well you might have to take a slight loss slight loss there’s a real estate boom in this town well with all the new houses going up around here nobody want
To buy that house unless they could sell it at a profit oh you talking about that house again yeah how’s your wife feel about it I haven’t seen her in nearly a week she’s staying with her sister you mean the throughway broke up your marriage I’ve been thinking about that
My marriage had to be broken up why a throughway why not a blonde Steve can’t you do something about it me yes if the state is responsible for all that noise certainly there must be something you can make them do about it look honey I don’t have
Anything to do with running the state I have hard enough time making a a living selling real estate but you’re a wonderful salesman I’m sure you could sell Harvey’s House for him yeah Steve do you think you could let’s get back to Poker oh now don’t you change the
Subject Steve couldn’t you sell Harvey’s House honey would you help Hazel in the kitchen please then I’ve got another problem see in my line of work I’m on call well when my boss calls me I don’t hear the phone oh Harvey youve simply got to move out
Of that house that’s all there is to it I can’t move all my money’s tied up in that house oh Steve you’re a magnificent salesman can’t you let’s play poker deal talking to the phone company maybe they can change that Bell to a flag that waves like a handkerchief if you can’t
See three men waving through the window how do you expect to see a a telephone waving a handkerchief well what you need is a good night’s sleep yeah that’s right a good 48 hour hour night sleep why don’t you spend the night here you wouldn’t
Mind of course not we’d love to have you uh honey how about some coffee we have a guest room with a perfectly marvelous bed would you get us some coffee honey soft and warm and comfy uh honey come along with me uh I’ll help you bring in the
Coffee Bara will you please stop inviting him to spend the night why if he hasn’t had a good night sleep if he gets a good night’s sleep here we’ll never get rid of him Steve that’s an awful thing to say Barbara he can’t stand it in that house of his he can’t
Get rid of it and he can’t stay in it the first alternative he gets he’ll move in Lock Stock and Barrel oh Steve I think you’re being just downright mean and unloyal to a friend how would you like that if somebody did it to you Barbara it’s only because I know what I
Would do if I were in his shoes that I’m not going to give him the chance to do it I just think you’re being you mean look Barber bar if if there’s no reason why he shouldn’t stay here tonight then there’s no reason why he shouldn’t stay
Tomorrow night and the night after that once he gets rested up he’ll be able to think of all sorts of reasons why he should stay no Barbara but I’ve already invited him honey look just leave it to me and I’ll uninvite him how I’ll blame it on Hazel oh no you are
Not going to do anything of the sort Hazel is nothing look I’ll tell him that Hazel objects to house guest uh it’s uh it’s too much work for her uh and if he stays Hazel will maybe quit or something oh Steve Barbara thanks a lot for the invitation but I think I’ll
Spend the night over at fr’s house huh yeah we’ve got plenty of room oh Harvey we’d love to have you’s going on with me come on Harve time to get going thanks a lot anyway we have a guest room with a perfectly marvelous bed we were counting on you
Just one more snack before I go to bed if he don’t like his house why don’t you sell it for him oh now don’t you start that well if he can’t sleep in it if if he can’t sleep in it who else could oh Steve be sensible with all the new
Freeways and throughways being built there certainly must be millions of people living next to them mhm and if I had any money to invest I’d put it in sleeping pills well a crack real estate man like you ought to be a though heel never mind that crack salesman I haven’t
Sold a house yet by promising somebody that if he’s lucky he’ll get used to it all I can say is I’m thoroughly ashamed of you for not letting Harvey sleep in the guest room I didn’t refuse him you didn’t have to he decided to go home
With Fred but you can’t say I refused him he made his own decision before I had a chance to diplomatically suggest he go to a hotel you took all the bows for being a wonderful friend a harvey we’d love to have you all right so I
Wasn’t sincere but it didn’t hurt us and and it made him feel a lot better we have a guest room with a perfectly marvelous bed really honey honey wait a Minute on in Harvey Mona Sweetheart hm wait here I’ll find More you what how can you bring someone home without giving me warning dear his house is next to the throughway I mean he hasn’t been able to get used to it now come on in and say hello I will not walk in there with cold cream all over
My face and my hair in curlers like some kind of awful clown darling he’s married he knows how awful a wife can look at night who looks awful you just say it I can say it but don’t you say [Applause] it hi see Harvey I thought you went home with Fred Steve who is it it’s Harvey I thought you were spending the night at Fred’s house yeah well I was but I got the feeling that uh his wife didn’t care much for unexpected company shut the door were you it’s
Chilly I was on my way home but then I remembered how disappointed you were to see me go and you said you had a marvelous bed so I guess I’ll spend the night here He’s getting dressed breakfast will be ready in a minute Hazel I wish you’d have been awake to see it stop rubbing it in expression on his face well next time you ought to grab a camera he couldn’t leave well enough alone no he had to stick his neck out
With all that oh Harvey we were counting on you staying with us well what Harvey showed up what could he do will you two please be quiet I have to Think hi kids good morning where’s your dad in the kitchen sleep well what day is today Saturday well it seems like I could have slept through the 4th of July one more day like this and I’ll be a new man well why don’t he stay with his wife
At her sister’s house no room and she refused is to go back to that house you ought to sue the highway department for alienation of affection I can just hear that brain of his clicking right now since we’re so fond of him he’ll just move in with us
He’ll he’ll do us the favor of staying with us until I perform the miracle of the ages and sell that house for him good morning everybody see I had a great night’s sleep I really appreciate that but I think I’ll just uh stay tonight in my own
House well not that your guest room isn’t comfortable and all that but but to tell you the truth I I kind of miss the cotton in my ears breakfast is almost ready well if you don’t mind I think I’ll just skip breakfast this morning I think I’ll go down to the shop
Know Saturday is a big day in the radio and T business well thanks a million for the good night Sleep all right I’ll do it oh darling I love you I know it isn’t easy to try and sell a house next to a freeway I didn’t say I’d try I said i’ do it now you’re talking like the man I admire now I’m talking like the dumbest real estate man
I’ve ever heard of Harvey will hate me because I’ll have to take a big loss on his house the people who buy it will hate me for sure and I’ll hate myself most of all for spending so much time hunting for clients but I said I’d do it
And I’ll do it you ought to be home by now I think I’ll call up and tell him don’t be silly Hazel you can’t even hear the phone ring in that house well I got a little time before dinner I’ll Dash over in the car and tell him the good News oh come on in oh uh say I got good news for you Mr be is going to try and sell your house and he’s a terrific salesman well that’s just fine yeah I appreciate that the only thing is now I’ve got to figure out how to eat
Huh my boss said that I’ve been asleep on the job for the past month I got fired today A did you tell you B huh I said did you tell your boss well of course I did what did he say huh what did he say oh well he said whenever I move to a house where I could get some sleep then he’d take me back well don’t
Worry Mr Steve is going to sell your house for you and he’s a terrific salesman H I said oh never mind I write your letter Hi you don’t seem to mind the racket nun I said you don’t seem to mind the racket nun [Applause] oh hello Harvey hello Barbara won’t you come in thank you Steve’s not here I really didn’t think he would be what do you mean well he hasn’t been home every
Time I’ve been by this week what you see me coming and go out the back door oh Harvey now that’s a Dreadful thing to say about Steve I’m sorry I’m sorry I guess I’m a little Punchy with my wife staying with her sister and my losing my job I’ve gotten
To the point where I’m beginning to think the whole world is against me well don’t think we are well Steve’s been working his head off trying to sell that house for you does he have any prospects I’m afraid not oh he’s talked with every possible Prospect he’s thought of every possible
Angle but well I’m afraid I know I know come on in Harvey Harvey I saw your car outside you’re just the man I’m looking for I want you to meet the hobartservice [Laughter] Man next door was partially deaf and that he didn’t mind the through away cuz all he had to do was to turn off his irade he checked up on all the ear doctors and hearing aid stores until he finally found a couple who wanted to buy
A house oh well you did the leg work but mine was the big idea well we both use hearing aids we just love the house and the noise doesn’t bother us a bit no without the hearing AGS that throughway sounds just like a distant surf I always have light
The ocean well uh we’re selling our house up on the hill it’s just too much trouble for folks our age and with the money we save we’re going to buy a trailer and travel you bet and all we have to do is pull right out on the
Throughway and off we go ain’t that good news now you’ll get your wife back and your job back and you’ll have a little cash to lose on Friday nights at the poker Game Oh Has to learn arithmetic oh I’ve been working with him but if you don’t mind a tip from an amateur if you got any problems with apples in them change him to toll housee cookies and he’ll do lots better well if toll housee cookies will help him understand the principle I’m
All for them a’t she sweet yes she is well I thank you both how come you never got married Hazel oh that’s all right nobody’s asked me no men on your life Hazel really I have a lot of men in my life I’m with 18 men all single nearly
Every day well for Pete’s sake what’s the matter with them you’re a real good-look girl if you just took them glasses off Hazel the men I’m referring to are all 8 years old Oh you mean the kids at school oh well I’ll introduce you down around the bowl noly if you like hazel
That’s enough okay I’m going I go every Friday night just give me a ring hez zo I’m going I’m going terrific bunch of fellas but you don’t have to worry about dressing up you know just wear something comfortable so you look all right when you pend Over put it on the table Al I hope you remember to wipe your feet for once oh oh Mr Blake I thought you was the bread man oh you back from work so soon yes came home early to help my new housekeeper she started today yeah I saw
Her I hope she works out boy it’s tough raising four kids without a mother little Stevie suggested that I marry you he’s a big fan of yours oh for me Sake I’m old enough to be you old sister Hazel yeah Stan I didn’t hear you come
In that’s because as I sneaked in to steal Hazel’s recipe for roast beef no seriously Hazel we’re having a roast tonight how do you fix yours I want to tell my new housekeeper well you set the oven to broil and keep it there all the
While and you cook it for about an hour for a six pounder keeps the juices in makes it nice and crusty thank you I’ll tell Mrs malom how’s she working out Stan well judging from lunch I should say she’s the sort of cook who makes a restaurant meal seem very
Inviting I knew it the minute I saw it too skinny I never saw a good cook yet that didn’t jiggle a little well I’ll tell her about the roast beef maybe we can fatten her up come on over after dinner with Place some scravel fine I will thanks Hazel bye he’s such a
Nice widower yes what Miss LS and she loves kids well of course she does Hazel Miss Lewis and Stan don’t even know each other Missy that’s a terrific idea we’ll get them together darling if you stop to think about it I’m sure you’ll see I’m right no now
Miss Lewis is a lovely intelligent woman right right the answer is no and stands a lonely widower right wrong the answer is no he is too so why don’t we just have them both over for dinner Dorothy don’t be a Matchmaker why not Hazel wouldn’t you be more comfortable Eaves dropping in here
There’s a draft in there that’s cuz you never fixed that door I told you a dozen times to put weather stripping on it Mr B that Mr Stan need now you listen to me both of you Stan neither needs or wants your interference in his private life he’s a very successful executive he
Makes a lot of money and on top of that he’s a nice looking guy so don’t you think he can find all the dates he wants but them kids need a mother that’s for stand to decide and Miss Lewis is just the one what is it with you women is an
Unattached male some kind of a challeng to you you have a nest building Instinct like birds except birds are smarter they stick to building their own nests Miss Lewis would be just perfect if it comes to introducing somebody to San it will not be Miss Lewis who then well uh Mimi
Andrews for example oh oh Mr B are you kidding no I’m not kidding she’s my partner’s sister and I’ve known her for years what’s wrong with her oh nothing physical I’m sure boy there’s nothing like the Desert Air and Reno for health and she’s been there so much she’s a
Regular commuter she goes through marriages like they was revolving doors oh she does not she had a couple of marriages that didn’t work out but that doesn’t mean anything there stand now poor lonely fella coming over here to play Scrabble when what he really wants just answer
The door and don’t give him a character reading yes sir and then I’ll put on the tea now I don’t want you reading tea leaves Dy tell her not to read tea Le leaves Hazel no tea leaves okay oh hi Mr Blake how’d the roast come
Out it was crusty Hazel clear through oh well she cooked it too long I’ll drop by tomorrow and teacher a thing oh speaking to teacher Hazel I was just going to say Harold’s teacher came by cuz he wasn’t so good in arithmetic that has nothing
To do with Mr Blake how are you standing sure it has something to do his Stevie’s in the same class with harol I thought he’d like to know his boy is being taught by someone that has a real feeling for kids I am interested thank you Hazel I didn’t say nothing about of
Being attractive or not married if that’s what you’re thinking gorgeous you might say hazel please you have to fight backstand it’s the only way to survive can’t be that bad oh you don’t know Hazel she knows everything that goes on in this neighborhood and she’ll try to
Run your life worst things could happen all right Dorothy how are you fine how are you well just at the moment I’m intrigued by this teacher filming Stan forget it she’s not your type she’s sweet smart gorgeous and loves kids what type do you go for Mr Blake hael please
Oh okay Mr B we had some lemon rank pie left from dinner would you like a slice the coffee still hot love some Hazel I’ll give your hand I’ll have a piece a man needs a woman you know to do things for him like that I’ll have a piece too
Like Missy and me do for Mr be Hazel I said I’ll have a piece of pie too oh no you can’t have any Mr be you know he has this weight problem if I didn’t watch him he’d need license plates and a driver from the teamsters Union honestly that a
Woman she’s marvelous and she thinks the world of you yes I guess she does but oh she can be irritating at times Well now what about that school teacher am I going to meet her hey Missy come here oh forget it you know women Hazel and Dorothy were trying to do a little
Matchmaking and I put a stop to it why well a man in your position must have people matchmaking for him all the time I think you’d get a little sick of that people don’t do too much matchmaking for widowers with children you must know a
Lot of women oh a few but they’re not interested in taking on the responsibility of four kids well aren’t there any girls in your office oh sure but they’re girls 19 20 well where girls are concerned that’s a pretty good vintage George with wine and women I
Like mine mellowed a bit Stan I’ve had the wrong picture Hazel and Dorothy were right oh Mr be a doozy we’ll definitely have to introduce you to someone and I think I know just the person my partner sister Mimi Andrews well for Pete’s sake Wy finds lumps in a cereal tomorrow
Morning and as you know the sidewalk CES in Rome are simply enchanting I’ve never been in Rome Miss Andrews oh please call me Mimi actually I went there to do the museums but I didn’t care for them much too touristy I wanted to see the real room the room
We’ve all read about and I found it in the sidewalk cafes oh that was living I met Hollywood stars by the dozens really oh yes and there was one mad Hungarian producer who wanted to star me in a production of ramulus and Remis of course I turned him down thank you
What nice hands you have they’re so so masculine do you like baloney Mr Blake please I was talking about the canopies them raw ones in the center is baloney what was you thinking about Mr be never mind did something else remind you will you be Ser them on the left is the
Waistline watches thank you that’s something I don’t have to worry about I’ve stayed the same size since I was 16 these three and fourway stretches is wonderful ain’t they cany Mr Blake yes thanks Hazel well how’s those four healthy Lively noisy kids of yours tonight bu Hazel please never mind I’ll
Serve them you better go in the kitchen something’s burning I don’t know what could be burning me stand I don’t understand this part where A and B have a equal number and then see well that’s easy all you need is all you need is expert help I’m going
To call Miss Lewis but you’re an expert no bo I’m better at baking apples than I am at dividing them this will solve all our problems hello Miss Lewis Hazel I know this is a terrible thing to ask on a Saturday night but uh I just don’t understand anything mechanical that’s
Why I’m so impressed an electrical engineer it’s just a job well come on stand don’t be so modest he’s one of the top men in his organization really sure just been offered a partnership oh how marvelous it’s much more comfortable in there in the living room the boxers are
Having company Hazel oh but you don’t take up much room and it’s so hot and steamy in here you’re almost finished oh yeah a hael we’ll have our coffee in the living room oh I don’t want to bother you Mr Blake but our toast is acting up again I
Think the voltage is loose hey up now well I was just thinking of your toast at breakfast it’s all right George won’t take a minute now do you understand Harold I think so what seems to be the trouble with it Hazel well it don’t pop up oh
Miss Lewis I forgot you’re still here this is Miss Lewis Harold’s teacher this is Mr Blake take off your glasses St father oh how do you do how do you do it’s so hot and steamy in here your glasses is all fogged up got nice eyes ain’t she well yes but that ain’t
Mascara neither ask her how Stevie’s doing in school how is Stevie doing oh fine fine he’s a nice boy thank you takes after his father Hazel and I belong to a mutual admiration Society oh I admire Miss Lewis too we didn’t have teachers like her when I went to school she just wears
These you know for read oh Hazel I can’t see a thing without them Stanley you’re coffee’s getting cold you can fix that old toaster later I’ll be over in the morning before breakfast Hazel I promise well I mean sure of Mr Blake oh Excuse Me Miss Lewis I’m glad to’ve met
You say Miss Lewis any chance of you coming over about 7 tomorrow morning to help Harold out with his arithmetic 12 dates in two weeks that’s a record even for me and at the best places in town he must be loaded honey George Baxter says he’s practic a
Partner and with the right kind of wife he could really go places has he asked you yet no not yet but it won’t be long I know all the signs oh boy cute and smart and loaded it should happen to me well I may give a
Course after I get my own mrss degree you won’t have time what with the four kids and all I have a feeling they may just be going to book boarding school better put an extra coat on that one that’s the ring finger you’re kidding I was just sitting under the
Next dryer how do you like it oh gorgeous what was she getting the complete overhaul The Works closing in for the kill and after their marriage she’s going to send the children to boarding school no what are you going to do oh I don’t know but this is a pretty
Desperate situation I may have to do something fish they don’t look like pancakes pancakes are flat they don’t smell like pancakes either oh well they’ll be better than Mrs Mal they won’t be as good as handles though well I’m sure they’ll be delicious whatever they are according to
The recipe they’re pancakes but any resemblance is purely coincidental this is mun’s day off oh well never mind I made a batch of popovers oh boy wait great I doubled the recipe by mistake Mr be couldn’t possibly finish all those it’s a shame to have them go to waste
Hazel I love you why don’t you marry her like I said I hear your daddy’s got other plans what other plans never you mind you just go find your brother and sister for breakfast Linda joh Lind how did you know well I figured you’ve been seeing
Her almost every year as long as you guess anyway Look oh oh gorgeous almost big enough to hang on the chandelier I plan to pop the question at dinner tonight wish me luck oh I do I tried to call her a few minutes ago to make the date for tonight but I guess she isn’t up yet oh she’s up she’s over
At our house at this time of the morning oh sure she came over for breakfast she said she had something she wanted to talk over with Mr be well I’ll call her at home later have you told the kids no I wanted to wait and see if she accepted me first yeah
And then that gives me a chance to break it to him kind of gradually they like her well I’m sure they will who wouldn’t of course they haven’t seen much of her Mimi and I have been going out to dinner oh actually I guess they’ve only seen
Her a couple of times oh well after you have your breakfast why don’t you come over to our house you could arrange your date for tonight well but if she’s talking to George oh she’d be dying this year she can’t talk about nothing else really okay Hazel I’ll come come on sit
Down I’ll get you breakfast oh boy I ate too many popovers I were delicious well now Mimi what’s this matter you wish to discuss well it’s just a crazy thought that came to me during the night I’m afraid you’re going to think I’m a silly girl no no I won’t
No yes you will you’re a lawyer and you have such a marvelously logical mind silly me all I’m good for is doing work for Charities and things like that well uh tell me about it you remember my ex-husband a Fred no Frank Fred was the one before oh excuse me Frank is doing
Very well financially very well and I’m happy for him I am not one to hold a grudge you know that George I guess that’s why I do so much for charity I just love people oh Mimi I know you do now Frank is paying me alimony alimony
Is tax deductible isn’t it George oh yes so in effect you could say that it really isn’t costing him anything isn’t that right not exactly well at least it’s costing him very little and he can afford it he’s done so well since we broke up now if I remarry oh do things look
That way I think so oh good very good thank you George now I don’t want to do anything ille legal or moral or anything like that but I do have to consider the Charities I support the orphanages and hospitals and things like that so is there any way that we could
Make Frank keep on paying me alimony you mean if you Remar yes no me the bl’s here well are you Stan oh Stan darling how are you this morning morning good morning Mimi now that I’m with you I’m fine I’m just fine oh don’t they
Make a terrific couple yes yes they do I can almost smell the orange blossoms how about dinner tonight I love it this is going to be a very special evening so I want to go someplace very special what about the candle light room French cuisine oh it’s terrific how do
You know I know the chef polish fellow we went to grammar school together cand room okay well I I don’t know oh it’s real snazzy got soft music and everything even candles on the table it’s so dark you can hardly find the place as don’t overdo it oh well Mr
Blake couldn’t take it to his house those kids had nearly Drive m sand was crazy they would not darling I think your children are Charming oh well maybe I got kind of out of line maybe you would like to spend an evening with them well of course I would oh well then you
Can have dinner there after all well yes but not tonight it’s Mrs mun’s day off oh darling I’m sorry I would have loved it well I I guess we’ll just have to have dinner at the candl light room oh you wouldn’t want to disappoint him Mr Blake it’s my night
Off too so I can fix dinner for you oh I couldn’t let you do that Hazel certainly not oh well I was kind of looking forward to making a few extra bucks on the side you mean you’d let me pay you oh sure five bucks an evening it’s a deal all
Right then I’ll fix your dinner for you in front of the fireplace little card table just for the two of you you know soft music candles The Works sound nice well yes very nice and I’ll feed the kids in the kitchen because if she had
To eat at the same table with them it’ll drive her almost crazy darling they would not I think your children are adorable oh well fine then I’ll feed you all together at the dining room table okay Miss Andrews well of course it’s okay it’s perfect sweetheart you’re
Upset yes darling I I’m I’m I have an appointment and I’m late come on I’ll walk into the car see you later George Hazel Asel Burke you have a diabolical mind I don’t know what you’re talking about Mr B yes you do you think Stan will change his mind about Mimi when he
Sees her with his family well you’re all wrong because she loves children oh well then I Ain’t So diabolical after all Mr be there we are now you need anything not a thing Hazel thank you if you do just yell out ouch stey pitched me I did not I was
Hold my fingers like this and she stuck a leg in between them all right you two that’s enough have you ever had a warts a what a warts good Heavens no they don’t come from toads well I didn’t say they did where do warts come from Mavis that’s enough talk about warts
Okay how old are you oh I should never have asked that Dam she’s over 21 and that’s all you need to know why are your eyelashes so black that’s makeup sweetheart it looks sticky they are sticky all right Stevie if you close your eyes can you open them again of course
I of course I can sweetheart see I think your eyes are beautiful oh thank you dear daddy can I have some eye makeup no Lindy you can’t I’ve told you a dozen times but if you don’t think it looks cheap on her then why that’s I am going out of
My it’s probably for me hazel will answer it a lot of the kids are coming over to play record tonight somebody probably wants to know what time to come Hazel will answer it hi Mr B how you doing I’m doing fine I just want to be
Sure you’re doing fine Hazel I want your word of Honor you won’t sabotage Miss Andrews oh Mr be I wouldn’t do a thing like that I’m just letting nature take its course by the the sound of things nature just took it hold on a sec that’s terrible quickly give me a
Towel he said what happened theya spilled her milk that little brat just ruined a $200 dress brat yes brat all of them they don’t belong at a dining table they belong in a zoo a zoo yes zoo and I’m getting out of here I see well I’ll
Drive you home don’t bother I can walk that’s perfectly all right with me hi Mr be was you getting good reception see you later oh Mr be keep out of that refrigerator Mr Lewis Hazel I’m over at the Blakes and little Stevie’s having trouble with his arithmetic I was
Wondering maybe you could drop over and give him a hand good I’ll save you some dessert [Applause] [Applause] [Applause] La This has been a screen jams Film Production from the Hollywood Studios of Columbia picture is it Hazel it’s Rosie and her niece and you’ll never guess what her niece has got with herel do we have to have all that yelling oh I’m sorry Mr be I forgot myself forgot yourself tell me
Hazel how do you do that I’d like to learn you’re right George those figures must be in my office well we could send a messenger and no no I’ll go I’ll give them to you over the phone all right I have plenty to do here you stick right
By this phone you’ll hear from me in 20 minutes hello Miss bager Rosie Miss back this is my niece Lori how do you do Lori hello Miss Baxter ain’t that something oh isn’t she cute isn’t she sweet what’s her name osca oh laori is M LA’s Rosy’s niece she
Lives in a farm upstate she staying she’s staying with Rosie for the week while she’s finding out about art school here that’s Oscar is her lucky lamb that’s why she brought it and the folks that Rosie works for are letting it stay out in the backyard they probably won’t have to use the
Lawnmower once Hazel I’ll thank you to let me do the talking about Lori she’s my niece well you already talked about it once you told me that was a mistake now why don’t we let lri tell us about herself yeah that’s a good compromise well there really isn’t much to tell
Except that ever since I can remember I knew I wanted to attend the art school here but when her father died she didn’t know how she was going to get the money so she started raising sheep now she’s got over 15 it isn’t very smart of you
Hazel to keep grabbing the center of the stage when I’ve got a prime pan Within Reach I’m going to sell them to pay for my art courses if they accept me if they accept you you’ll go through with blind the head of the art school here
Miss Wilson is a very dear friend of mine if you’d like I I’ll introduce you to her would you well of course she’s supposed to report there this morning I’ll drive her down wonderful just give me Oscar I’ll take him home let’s go up to the front door so I can get my
Purse now can I say goodbye Without You rattling that pan again bye-bye bye bye bye Hazel do you have any long underwear any what long underwear and sweaters that’s what I need oh say this is April ain’t it a little bit late in the season to be going to the North Pole
I haven’t told Lori yet I just can’t now while she’s so thrilled about art school told her what well I talked to her mother on the phone this morning and it seems that she hired a man to look after the Sheep while Lori was away and he
Sheared them well what’s wrong with that with all that wool she ought to be making a lot of money but it’s too early to Shar the Sheep she fired him she’s Furious if it should turn cold they’ll freeze to death can they put him in the
Barn I’m No Authority on sheep and I’m No Authority on heating a barn all I know is that the weather we Bureau has reported a cold front up in Canada it hasn’t started moving toward the states yet but if it does why don’t they wrap them in blankets and where is she going
To get 150 blankets and besides she needs something that they can move around in long underwear 150 of them and sweaters so they can keep moving well long underwear don’t sound like any of our friends but this is a good chance to find out Hello Mrs buron this is hael Burke yeah that’s right we was bowling Partners about 3 months ago well I’ll tell you why I’m calling Miss Bernstein I’m trying to round up some old sweaters yeah to keep the Sheep warm that is if the weather should turn cold you
Know yeah that’s what I said sheep what do you mean am I calling from a Bar Well you see Miss Anderson I seen you going into the reducing salon and I noticed what a terrific figure you have these days no kiden I was just wondering if you’d let me have some of the sweaters you wore before you reduce you you will oh thanks Miss Anderson that’s
Great oh no no it don’t matter what condition they’re in all we’re trying to do is to fit some livestock hello hello oh people are so Touchy Well all I’ve managed to round up is three more Feen sweaters how about you well all I can come up with is one big fat goose egg but I still think Bonnie wears long underwear where’s Oscar he’s right over here by the stove oh that’s funny he was here here I’ll get it
Hazel Mr Griffin I thought you were going to call me how do you expect me to reach you when you’ve been on that phone for the past 4 hours I don’t know what you’re talking about that phone has been busy for 4 hours oh now there’s no need to
Exaggerate Mr Griffin it’s only been a couple hours since you left here perhaps Hazel was ordering some groceries or something groceries what’s she feeding the Grand Army of the Republic I I I’ve had to put up with a lot from you Baxter but there’s an end to a man’s patience
There certainly is there are your figures I have to get back to my office I have more important things to do than play messenger boy to you if you’ll recall Mr Griffin I suggested we send for a messenger in the first place I don’t have time to stand around talking Watch it backer what just watch it backster for two cents I’d fire you Mr Griffin I’ll just save you that two cents Miss Williams take a memo to my senior partner Mr Butterworth with copies going to my other partners Mr NL and Mr hatch I hereby resign the Harvey Griffin
Account if Mr Griffin wishes this firm to represent him it must be handled by one of the other partners now wait a minute George I’ll show you to the front door Mr Griffin although you probably know where it is you bars in there often enough tell and giving orders now George
It isn’t necessary for you to resign you and I have been together for years and they’ve been the longest years of my life this way Mr Griffin no no not Mr Griffin call me Harvey this way Harvey no call me har this way har George you’ve handled my biggest mergers my
Most difficult negotiations my toughest contracts I need you I’m too old to change lawyers I’ll have your contracts send back by special messenger goodby heart [Laughter] [Applause] h [Laughter] Than I found where was he he was out in the hole he was just going to climb upstairs like a goat you know how they like to climb I better take him home yeah before Mr be sees him he’s in the study you know he don’t like to be disturbed
Hazel Hazel that’s Mr Griffin I’m hurrying just as fast as I can oh hi Mr Griffin I thought you were still working inside the den with Mr be I brought I’m not home huh I’m not home I brought a few little gifts for the family oh Mr B you ought to see what
He’s got out there golf clubs and flowers and a bite and I am not home Mr B says he ain’t home Hazel would you mind closing the door there’s a draft in here well if you ain’t here how can you feel it it’s all right Hazel I
Understand I don’t get it well I should think that would be obvious Mr Griffin is no longer my client oh well I’ve heard him say he was going to fire you often enough but then seeing him standing there with all them presents don’t look like he didn’t fire me I
Resigned his account oh for years that old Steamroller has been barging in here bellowing interfering and meddling my legal work but not it anymore oh Hazel are you listening to me oh oh yeah I was just uh trying to remember something Mr B do you still have any of your long
Underwear any what long underwear don’t you remember you bought some last year to go skiing well I don’t recall I doubt it but what is long underwear got to do with my resigning the Griffin account oh nothing nothing well then what are you talking about I’m talking about that
Cold front up in Canada suppose it crossed the border if it was to come down Upstate we aren’t Upstate no but that’s where they’re going to need the sweaters and the long underwear I’m going to check upstairs and find out [Laughter] oh Mr Griffin I thought you’d gone we quarreled I know he doesn’t have to speak to me hazel but can I leave these gifts here well he he doesn’t have to speak to me even though I love him as much as I love you and darthy and
Harold but no nobody loves me oh you don’t mean that Mr Griffin it’s true no nobody loves me name one person who loves me well off hand I’d say the man that sold you this stuff oh I’m not blaming anyone Hazel it’s my own fault it’s my personality bzel what’s wrong
With my personality maybe you just got too much of it I faced myself Hazel and I don’t like what I see I’m selfish I’m rude I’m over bearing I’m inconsiderate I’m a self- cented eagal maniac well we can’t all be perfect it’s true nobody loves me oh
Come on now Mr Griffin you’re crying in my cake batter here I’ll get you a glass of water he hey you wear long underwear oh I’m I’m terribly sorry I I didn’t mean to be so abandoned have you got any suits can’t use him well I I
Only wear one at a time I’ll tell you why I need him hello uh Jerry George Baxter uh listen jar uh psychoanalysis is kind of a hobby of yours isn’t it well uh this friend of mine uh got into kind of a business Hassle and uh
Well a big quarrel and then he began to see sheep and S he p actually a little lamb and then from time to time he thought he heard a little ba oh oh really sheep are the symbol of peace of mind well this friend of mine is
Certainly going to be glad to hear that with the cold weather coming on them sheep a lot will be in trouble and if Lori loses them sheep she would be able to go to Art School well Rosie and me ain’t told her because we don’t want her
To get upset before the yes whatever it is they give at that art school that’s very commendable of you and Rosie oh sure Good Samaritans that’s us all over the only thing is in freezing weather it ain’t the easiest thing to get people to FK over their long underwear Hazel I’m a
Businessman and in business we scratch one another’s back I’ll make a deal with you if you’ll help me I’ll help you well what can I do for you get George bter to take me back as a client oh no no I’d never be able to do that he was so happy
At breaking with you he was practically doing a Highland fling if he takes me back I’ll pay for everything those sheep need and I don’t mean secondhand cast off sweaters and unmentionables brand new from the most fashionable store in town no kidding you mean brand new high style Long John’s yeah it’s a
Deal Mr B Mr be yes Mr Griffin is out in the kitchen with all them wonderful presents he can’t bribe his way back into this house well then Mr Griffin don’t ever mention his name again in my presence but Mr B you you’re a lawyer
You know and you got a respect for a contract now if he was to sign a contract promising to keep out of your hand I don’t wish to discuss it we ain’t discussing it I’m just telling you and and if you’ll just listen to how sorry
He is and then if you still Mr be m to be what are you looking for this is what I’m looking for I’m going out to the driving range got to let off steam Somewhere Mr B won’t you take Mr grim back as a client will you listen to her George she’s even willing to sign the contract humiliating as it is George please listen to her I drew up the contact myself because I know all the things you object to please George eel
If you don’t get from behind me you’re Fired she’s her maid I wouldn’t really fire her but you see I have to say things like this to every once in a while to get her to mind her own business one must be firm with servants oh yes that’s the only way well I I uh I have to get another
Bucket of [Applause] balls Mr be Hazel you said just not to get behind you we ain’t behind you George will you look at the contract Hazel drew it up and I signed it party of the first part that’s me agrees to stay out of your hair to respect your privacy to restrain
Myself from driving your bdy and I you to me to read the contract that’s all you got to do read the contract here it is right here Hazel if you ever pull another St I’m sorry Mr be I had to do it why well I’m glad you asked because I withdraw
The question well I had a deal with Mr Griffin a deal yeah and when I explain it I know you’ll help you see Rosie’s got this niece named Lui hello dear George this is lri Rosie’s niece I’m glad to know you Lori you mr’s been telling me all about you
Lori is going to attend the arts school here Mrs Baxter introduced me to The Faculty this morning and they accepted me oh well I had nothing to do with it they saw some of your work so now I guess it’s time to sell my sheep sheep
Lori raised a flock of sheep to pay for her tuition say I wish I’d have thought of that that’s sounds like more fun than the things I did to put myself through school oh showing the picture Lori well I have several pictures of them but I think this one is the
Best I’ve never seen so much wool in all my life back to Residence Hazel this is Rosie I’ve just talked with a man at the weather bureau that coldfront in Canada has started to move they expect freezing weather to reach the farm in 24 hours [Laughter] Nobody loves me I’m going to get you two together or else how well listen he thought you was in trouble or something you know I mean if you were sick or something he’d come running in a minute I know Mr be cuz it’s only human nature to help somebody out when they’re
Suffering what should I come down with think of something awful well no not too awful I don’t want to fool around with anything how about appendicitis well just a mild attack all right yes that’s fine I’m coming down with a mild attack of appendicitis I’ll stretch out on the
Floor where there ain’t no room oh well I can’t very well sit on the bicycle come on in my room we can find you lying on my bed oh here we are come on now lay down what’s the matter I’m just rehearsing oh oh how’s that that’s better come on now
And won’t get you know anyy but let’s go and the lights camera sound action Mr be help come here Quick Hazel are you all right Hazel I’ll call the doctor and let’s get it to a room no no no don’t move it’s all my fault if I hadn’t brought these things in the kitchen it wouldn’t have happened no it’s my fault you wouldn’t have brought
Them into the kitchen if I hadn’t turned you away from the house no it’s my fault for bringing these presents here in the first place no it’s my fault you wouldn’t have brought them here if I hadn’t resigned your account but you wouldn’t have resigned the account if I
Hadn’t been a rude overbearing Inc consent wait a minute look at the rate we’re going we’ll be tracing the blame back to Adam and Eve why don’t we just say we’re both a blame right Mr Griffin call me Harvey all right Harvey no call me Harve
Harve well now that’s more like it Lori what size sweaters do the Sheep wear I mean turtlenecks Mr Griffin’s buying only the best you know [Laughter] didn’t you Hazel yes she did Hazel May I give you a big kiss oh sure I’d love it well I’m the one who put up the money don’t you think I’m entitled to a big kiss too oh sure you are Mr Griffin you saved asuka’s mama and papa so you’re
Entitled to a great big kiss from Uka George we better look over those Cont [Applause] a screen Jams Production you mean they live for 25 years without Furniture new furniture they had some old stuff that relatives loan them but now he’s got some money I co-signed his loan uhoh what’s the matter every time I hear that word cosigner I get the Shivers what is a cosigner George well in
Financial and banking circles a cosigner is described as a py with a pen it means that if Gus doesn’t pay back the loan Hazel will have to pay it and if she doesn’t have the money well if I don’t have the money I’ll just find somebody that does Hi G oh hello hazel H dra just got back from the cleaners and I had to hang them cuz they get creased if you leave them lying around Hazel I just came from the bank oh good tomorrow’s my day off I’ll meet you at the store and we’ll pick out
Millie’s Furniture you know I know just the kind she wants cuz T and me have got the same good taste I didn’t get the money why not I signed the note uh that’s why I didn’t get the money ain’t my signature good enough for that bank
Oh no they said it’s good it’s just you you you can’t use it so often you coign somebody else’s note and you can’t use the same collateral twice oh what are they talking about I pay my bills and I got some cash in my savings account and
I got some stocks and a few buns and a good job they they also said no now now mind you I’m not saying it they said it said what well they said theyd prefer a different signature they said said they’re just a little bank with with only a couple hundred million dollars uh
They’re they’re not a big International Bank they don’t feel they’re big enough to deal with a brilliant finer like you who said that that baldheaded guy near the door didn’t he yeah that’s him yeah that’s him he’s real sarcastic yeah he objects to the way you try to tell him
How to run the bank oh I knew he’d never forgive me for that boy one day I told him I ought to have my interest compounded daily and one thing led to another and and I told him how he ought to reorganize the bank and I think I mentioned something about his Baldhead
Too well the point is I I don’t have the money poor Melly yeah when we were married we decided to wait a few months before buying living room furniture the relatives let us have things they didn’t want it was only temporary we said that was 25 years
Ago isn’t that the doorbell yeah but Mr be’s in the living room room he always yells out I’ll get it Hazel and darling please please sit down I pay Hazel answer that door and I expect her to answer it cuz if you don’t yell out I got to take it on the double
Coming oh I’m sorry Mr Egan to keep you waiting Haz George oh Mr Egan I was going to drop by your office later on in the day it will not be necessary to keep that appointment I am here Mrs back hello Mr Egan how are you how am I don’t
Ask oh Hazel I did want to thank you for that delicious dinner you served the other night oh the pleasure is all mine oh excuse me Mr Egan I don’t mean to be rude but I got company in the kitchen it’s perfectly all right Hazel if you feel it’s absolutely necessary to tear
Yourself away we’ll excuse you thanks George George George do you know what this is well off hand no what is it do you know what this is uh no what is it do you know what these are well of course those are earphones this is a microphone a miniature broadcasting station I was
Straightening a picture of my office this morning and I found this planted behind it you mean uh your office was bugged oh I got out of there as fast as I could well I don’t blame you you I got hold of an Electronics expert and he said that this thing couldn’t broadcast
Very far so we searched the building we found this receiving equipment in the basement you mean you found the person that did it no he got away well you know who might uh possibly bug your office of course I have an idea I was just about to begin some extremely confidential
Negotiations and that’s what I want to talk to you about George oh well if you’re going to discuss things that are confidential I think I’ll just run along upstairs Mr Egan maybe we better go into the [Applause] den well I guess I better be getting back to work you had any lunch no I’ll skip it I had to go over to the bank and I oh don’t mention that Don bank to me again sit down I’ll fix your sandwich I
Got half of M to draw all my savings out and close my account every time I go to that bank and I pass old baldi’s desk we get into the same old argument oh I even went to the library you know to to get out some books on
Banking to prove that I was right but Don it he was right I wasn’t and I was in too deep then you know to back down besides I just didn’t want to give him the satisfaction thank you George in the last 10 years I’ve built 10 new department stores in this state
Dedicated to our expanding population and every time those Cut Rate Cutthroat Mohawk people have built a store right across the street from me yes but Mr Egan nobody knows better than you that competition is the heart of the American economy I don’t call that competition that’s downright piracy I’ve spent a
Fortune George a fortune giving my customers every conceivable convenience spacious parking lots great ious restaurants and coffee shops baby minding services and artistically appointed restrooms well must in it Mohawk stores don’t give them anything like that so their customers use my conveniences but buy across the street well Mohawk can sell cheaper because
They don’t have the overhead they’re selling the merchandise and I’m Furnishing the customer conveniences Hazel M want you What did you say SP mother she wants you to help her with something she’s upstairs oh okay where did you get that Contraption I didn’t don’t tell me you spent your money for another radio we already got them coming out our ears I didn’t buite him Hazel well don’t tell
Me a traed you watch for it Hazel coming I can’t figure out how this works why don’t you take it out in the kitchen to G maybe he can help you don’t leave them things lying around the lemon room I want you to see this George I just received it from the Architect there you are the architect’s drawing of the new store I’m going to build beautiful isn’t it magnificent just beautiful what’s that what’s that Harold it’s a radio I think with earphones radios haven’t had earphones since Guy Lombardo in the 20s well the scouts use earphones but I can’t get
Anything on it well here let me try sure here’s the blueprint of the lot plan where do you plan on building it that’s what Mohawk would like to find out that’s why they’ve been bugging my office you see I’ve been secretly buying up all the surrounding property through
Third parties ah I see now I have all the properties I need except this one big lot across the street if I can buy that Mohawk won’t be able to get anywhere near me Maybe the battery’s dead no I’m still getting a hum I’m getting close to
Something and that’s why I have to keep it a secret because if Mohawk finds out the property I want you don’t have to tell me I know all they have to do is tell the owner they’ll top any offer you make they’ll have me trapped I think I’m getting something
What a couple of men talking well maybe the ham radio operators maybe on this crazy thing I wouldn’t be surprised if it was Marone and Edison George I need your advice very well I don’t think you have a moment to lose you can’t be sure how
Much of this has leaked out I think you have to act fast oh I don’t think the Mohawk who’s handling the property you want National real estate well they’re good reliable people now look never mind all that third party secrecy stuff I think we better open negotiations right
Away me well if they know I want it the price will die if they find out they’ll be asking more but it’s better to pay it then lose a lot to Mohawk I know you’re right now I can assure you the price will be fair I’ll tell you what I’ll
Have my own real estate agent open negotiations I’ll call him right now you just sit down and relax I could use a cup of coffee just as soon as I make this call never mind I’ll get it what’s the matter one of the hand just signed off going to get some coffee
Oh see if we can get some music Hazel oh Hazel’s upstairs Mr Egan oh well would you ask her if she’d serve some of that wonderful coffee of hers in the den yes sir thank you Harold nothing else on the [Laughter] [Laughter] Air George baxer fine how’s everything in the real estate business I tell you why I’m calling look all that lot down on the corner of spring and Fairmont that’s right it’s being handled by national real estate well my client Mr Ean has to buy it before Mohawk department stores get
Their hands on it uh price is No Object speed is the important thing how soon do you think you could open negotiations good because Mohawk could wrecked Mr Egan if they found out What mran your house is Buck too what you must be out of your there’s a man in the kitchen a man he heard every word a man in the kitchen you must be what’s his name oh he’s all right he’s only Hazel your friend who did you say that was out in
The kitchen you mean Gus Gus that’s it forgive me for saying this Mr Ean but I think you have bugs on the brain he’s a friend of Hazel oh sure he’s a great guy he works at the Mohawk department store mohawk mohawk department stores yeah at the information booth when it comes to
Information they don’t come any better than Gus b a massage his neck some more I think the blood all went down to his feet what happened I don’t know I ain’t figured it out myself yet George what’s the matter this house is bugged that’s what’s the matter what I gave George some
Confidential information and there’s a mohawk man in the kitchen listening if you mean Gus he’s the sweetest honestest guy in the world is it honest to plant a microphone on somebody he didn’t plant it on you Mr Egan it was your own mic you were carrying it around broadcasting then I
Asked you is it honest to EES drop on me with my own equipment look Mr E if he’d come here to EES drop wouldn’t he have brought his own equipment that’s mohawk for you they take advantage of every facility I have to offer I don’t know
What secret you and Mr be was talking about but I’d certainly vouch for Gus and so will I he ain’t no super spy well the first thing to to do is to find out how much he’s heard he heard everything we didn’t miss a point well if he’s
Heard too much we’ll just have to keep him here in communicado until we close that deal then we better find out before we get to a phone oh I never thought of that that may be my real estate man Harold huh I can’t wait any longer for
Hazel I’m late already and I don’t want to lose my information job I need that money if that’s my real estate agent tell him I’ll call him back I take the message Yeah Harold Harold where what’s his name who well who’s it what’s his name I never going remember it it’s Gus Gus Anderson oh he just went out the back door he was sure in a hurry he said he had to get down to the Mohawk department
Store right away he said he needed the money from his information job where’s your dad oh everybody went batt With where are they going trying to catch Gus that was Mr be’s real estate agent on the phone he says that Mr B and Mr Egan come right down to his office that they can close the deal today he so you better go after them I’ll go get the
Car keys oh I’ll get my [Applause] Coat I have been hunting all over this store looking for sneakers where are you hiding them they’re in the basement go down those stairs over there and turn right I’m sorry Mr Wilson and since when did we take an hour and 25 minutes for lunch I’m terribly sorry I’m the floor
Walker I’m not supposed to handle your information desk while you have a siesta you see tomorrow’s my wife’s silver wedding anniversary and I want it to get those 25 minutes and not anniversary present from the stor no sir you’ll be do yes sir I know I don’t want excuses I
Want you here at the information desk where you belong yes Sir uh you’re uh who’s it what’s his name Gus Anderson yes I am and you’re Mr Baxter I don’t like it he looks too happy yes I am we’ve never met but I recognize you from pictures I saw of you at your house I uh
I I’m a friend of Hazel yes I know as a matter of fact you’ve been to my house many times haven’t you oh yes I’ve been there lots of times when you didn’t know it many’s the time I heard you talking in the other
Room uh this is Mr Egan the owner of the Egan department stores how do you you do Mr Egan it’s an honor to have you visit us here at Mohawk hand me the Phone get me the boss’s office Quick the time Mr Roland Wilson floor Walker on the first floor something’s going on down here I thought you ought to know what do you mean Mr Egan is here Egan the Mr Egan Ean department stores and he has his attorney with him George Baxter what are they doing they’re
Shaking hands with our man at the information desk why that’s what I thought you might want to find out get to the point George get to the point uh Mr Anderson suppose you tell us what you heard today heard Oh you mean the bad news well the
Bank wouldn’t give me the loan I needed you see tomorrow tomorrow was my silver wedding anniversary and uh I needed quite a bit of money he’s setting us up for blackmail I’m talking about out in the kitchen of my house when you had the earphones on just what did you hear oh
Well I heard a couple of hams talking uh about a lot on the corner of a spring in fairou oh Hazel what are you doing here Hazel hi getting to be a regular family reunion where’s Mrs Baxter oh excuse me just a minute guys I got to tell Mr be
Something very important oh Mr B your real estate agent called and he says if you get down to his office right away maybe you can close that deal today well at least that’s good news come on wait a minute wait a minute what about him he knows about the corner of spring and
Fair Mountain Hazel I want you to stick right here with Gus huh don’t let him talk to anybody oh I can’t do that Mr be this is an information booth he’s got to answer questions well you do all the Talking around our house I can’t get a
Word in edgeways so would you please do as much for Gus and don’t let him out of your sight oh no I can’t I mean suppose he wants to wash his hands bring him some water from the drinking fountain I’ll keep him in sight and don’t let him talk to anybody come
On G yes Hazel for your sake I hope your hands ain’t dirty Anderson yes sir uh what were Mr Egan and his attorney doing here excuse me could you tell me where the ladies kimonas are yes three aisles over Anderson oh just a minute I haven’t told him what kind of a
Kimona I’m interested in well we carry only one kind Madam I know but if he describes it then he could say me a trip there Anderson what were they doing here and you had better speak up if you want to hold on to your job here they didn’t
Come in here just ask you where they could find men’s underwear oh where is men’s underwear what type did you have in mind have you been feeding him any information about our operation here men silk underwear oh no Mr Roland well then what were Ian and his attorney doing
Here men silk box of shorts do you have box of shorts Wilson here says that you were smiling smiling and shaking hands with Mr Eagan don’t you realize they’re competitors they’re Rivals they would do anything to put us out of business men box of shorts with a strike down the
Side they weren’t here for nothing what are you trying to pull behind my back with the reinforce back I’m not pulling anything Mr Roland uh I’ll admit I was out to Mr Baxter’s house quite a few times this week but will the reinforce back I was there today at lunch with Mr
Egan was there but lunch he had lunch with Mr Egan and Mr back chair well I don’t know what you’re trying to pull Anderson but you are fired f r i fired pardon me Mr Roland but fed is fried you’re fried D we did it did it got the
Property oh well congratulations now Mohawk can’t touch me now I can give my customers the best of everything and still make a profit and look what he brought to celebrate with champagne well smile Hazel smile uh Mr Eagan you will stay for dinner won’t you Hazel will cook the finest dinner George
I I don’t think Hazel feels like cooking dinner tonight what’s a matter it’s Gus who Oh you mean who’s it what’s his name Gus Anderson he got fired he’s out in the kitchen George he hasn’t the nerve to go home and tell his wife and tomorrow’s that silver anniversary a
Fine present he’s going to give her his boss saw him with you and Mr Egan and he found out he’d been coming here to the house so he suspected the worst that Gus had been giving you business secrets well do you mean that I have to lose my
Dinner on account of a little thing like that little Gus has lost his job and it’s all my fault cuz I was the one that put the bee in his bonnet about getting Millie new furniture well don’t worry I’ll see to it that he gets another job just what
It’ll be I don’t know but I give you my word oh Mr be I love You what can I do to get a reward like that I’m glad you asked I was thinking maybe it’ be nice if your store was to give Gus some new furniture for his silver anniversary Hazel the way I feel right now he can have anything he wants
At Cost oh well I wasn’t figuring that way I was figuring maybe for three oh no wait a minute wait a minute I don’t mind not making a profit but as a matter of principle I cannot take a loss well remember G saved your new store for you
If he told Mohawk what you was up to but you just said he didn’t know what I was up to no but he’s real fast he’ to figure it out no time in 10 minutes he would have had you right in the palm of
His hand but he’s too nice a guy to take it advantage of a wonderful man like you Mr Egan please take some advice from your lawyer I’m speaking from experience you better give Hazel what she wants before she talks you out of the whole store one for
You and one for me I don’t know how to thank you Hazel oh that’s all right Mr Egan said we could have whatever was left over the way I feel right now he can have any he wants George just talked to a friend of his downtown he has a new job for Gus
And it pays half again as much as he’s been making that isn’t all tell him Mr Egan I called our best interior decorator and I arranged for Mrs Anderson to have any household Furnishing she desires free of cost George you better figure out some way
For me to take this off our income tax I’m so happy for you Gus all week you and Hazel have worked so hard to give Millie this presentent well look how it turned out to Hazel to Hazel to Hazel A screen Jams Production strain your eyes darling you need a little more light thanks honey here let’s just put your feet up on the hat thank you here let’s just slip this back here there has that all relaxed no I’m extremely tense why because I’m wondering how much all this attention is
Going to cost me Steve don’t you think I’m concerned about your comfort oh sure you’re Annie sure but but but you always seem to be more concerned on those days when you’ve had lunch with Mona where did Mona take you after lunch today some uh some new jewelry store or a a special
Fur Salon it just happened to be passing Camille Chapo and Chapo oh that’s an expensive word there’s this incredible little hat in the window and the incredible price of this incredible hat less than $30 $29.98 I thought you didn’t like hats well this one’s
Different but it is a lot of money and I want you to forget I even mentioned it and you’d never forgive me if I did uh let’s see if I can trim $30 out of next month’s budget oh Steve you’re a sweetheart even if you can’t Mr Steve
How would you like to make an extra 50 bucks Hazel don’t tell me you’ve added Claire Bo to all all your other accomplishments they got this contest going in the newspaper $100 prize for the best essay submitted on the perfect boss sure and I figure when I win I’ll
Spread the money with you 50/50 but if if you wrote the essay Hazel the prize should be all yours oh no that ain’t the way I figure it after all I’d be writing about you I couldn’t enter the contest if I wasn’t working for the perfect boss
Hazel please please I’ve had just about all the flattery and special attention I can handle for one evening well I’m always bragging about you I might as well get paid for it it ain’t only the money we both get our pictures in the news paper we would oh sure right on the
Front page I got it all figured out I’d lay it on real thick at the beginning Hazel um it’s an amusing idea but I I don’t think you should enter this contest why not oh Steve it sounds like fun I I appreciate you’re wanting to brag about your boss Hazel but in my
Position in this town I’m afraid this sort of competition might prove embarrassing how could you be embarrassed by honey please I’d rather Hazel not enter the contest that’s all well anything you say Mr Steve maybe you could find some other sort of contest to enter one that doesn’t involve
Personalities oh sure I got another one going in the magazine a trip around the world for two but what worries me is when I win who I take along with me Steve why don’t you want Hazel to enter you as the perfect boss Barbara you heard me explain why I heard but I
Still don’t understand and I I just don’t like the idea of her entering me in a contest like a like a recipe for brownies or or a prize Pig I think you’re afraid you might not win oh don’t be ridiculous I I hadn’t even thought of that you might find out
There are other bosses closer to being perfect than you are and so might Hazel but of course as long as you don’t enter no one will ever know if you’re less than perfect I never said I was perfect Hazel did and if she thinks I am that’s good enough for me
What you doing hael this oh this is my homework homework I thought homework was for kids well I’m still a kid H I sure wish Uncle Steve would let you enter in that perect boss contest you’d win easy well your dad said it might be embarrassing for him and what your dad says
Goes hey Hazel I got an idea why don’t you write about my dad for the contest Mr B well he was your boss oh he sure was I don’t think he’d mind anyway he’d probably never even know about it no I don’t think the local paper has much circulation in s [Applause] Arabia hi hi want to see something pretty anything to get away from all these wear asses and hitherto oh Mr Williams why can’t real estate contracts be simpler well then people might start reading them and then that would lead to all sorts of complications HS they’re
Beautiful Hi friend Hi Steve uh just getting a little feminine reaction to a gift Millie have you finished those contracts not quite Mr Baer well then suppose we end the flower show and get back to work yes sir Simon lree I presume I would know you anywhere sir even without your whip I suppose it’s uh it’s cruel and unreasonable of me to ask her to do a job she’ll get it done but in handling employees there’s a time to be Stern and a time to relax take it from me why
Should I take it from you because I just happen to be Fred Williams the perfect boss the perfect boss you laugh go on laugh but you’re going to eat crow old buddy when Clara’s entry wins first prize and the whole world realizes what till now only a few have
Known that I am the perfect boss you’re actually going to let her enter that silly contest let her I’m encouraging her I why keep the Glorious truth about me hidden and besides it’ll give my Public Image a little added luster pal your Public Image must be pretty
Tarnished if you have to rely on your maid to shine it I’m surprised Hazel isn’t entering but then I guess she doesn’t feel the same about you as Clara feels about me that’s not it at all as a matter of fact she wanted to H her but I
Vetoed the idea well it’s just as well old buddy you always were a sore loser sore loser don’t bother to order me out I’ll just take my roses and go home is that a a peace offering from Mona oh these long stem Beauties are our gift for Clara a token of thoughtful appreciation
From the perfect boss but last night you were so positive it wouldn’t be a good thing well I thought it over and I decided it’s not fair to disappoint you just to protect my own feelings well I thought it over too and I decided you was right it would
Be embarrassing but Hazel after all your feelings is more important than me being disappointed I’ll get over it anyway P wants to she can always write about my dad George oh well after all he was my boss he was your boss but he’s not now
And if you do enter this contest I think you should write about your present boss oh well I’ll enter it if you want me to Mrs D you will great now we’ll see who eats crow eats crow oh nothing oh before I forget uh uh I’m bringing some very special prospects
Here for lunch on Friday uh Mr Mrs Ryan and Mr Mrs prior what’s that again I said I’m bringing Mr and Mrs Ryan and a Mr Mrs prior here for lunch on Friday at 12:30 I just wanted to make sure I had it right Oh honey um I never noticed Hazel taking down things I said in a a a not notebook before Mr Perfect from now on whatever you say or do goes into your service Record Steve make yourself at home all righty I’ll get the gasin folder and I’ll be right with you oh don’t rush we’ve got plenty of time hello Steve welcome to shambles Hall hi Mona is uh is Clara sick oh She’s suffering from an acute attack of self-importance self-importance she’s the perfect maid
Fred is the perfect boss and the house is a perfect mess I see CL cat Wast time vacuuming and emptying ashtrays dusting Destiny calls the newspaper contest of course and there he is now the perfect boss Alias Dr Frankenstein the man who took a reasonably competent housekeeper and
Turned her into a monster suppose Clara heard you you think she might get angry enough to quit that is not funny uh what happened to your TV Set uh well it’s in the kitchen we didn’t use it that much and besides Clara enjoys it it keeps her from being bored while
She’s doing nothing she’s using the time to write her essay oh Fred it’s only 300 words not War and Peace it’s almost noon why don’t we have a quick bite of lunch here yeah sounds fine if it doesn’t upset Mona’s routine What routine CLA don’t shout at her when
You want her treat her with a little dignity would you suggest that we send her an engraved invitation to fix us a little Lunch yeah I hope we didn’t disturb you Clara well I was right in the middle of my favorite program we won keep you about a minute about lunch I was meaning to speak to you about that there’s nothing much just some of that leftover beef oh that sounds fine I’m more in the
Mood for spaghetti you are if leftover beef is good enough for us Clara if you’re in the mood for spaghetti it’s spaghetti you shall have I’ll call fanis and have them send over an order right away maybe one of them little Anastos too why not some caviar for openers and a
And a nice bottle of imported champagne served by a quartet of singing Waiters M Mr Williams how do you spell magnanimous m a g n a n i m o u s want to be sure I have it right in my essay uh we don’t want to lose any points for spelling Mr Williams how do you spell delusions of
Grandeur well Hazel might as well quit before she starts old buddy King Fred is a shoe In Hazel how would you like to have the television set in the kitchen the television in the kitchen oh for Pete’s sake where did you get that idea oh I uh I I I I just thought you might enjoy it oh no no when I work I work and when I
Relax I relax and I never mix the two Hazel when you finish could I have a little more coffee please and please some more milk and another piece of P please Barbara Susy Harold listen to you well what did we do well you you’re all yelling at poor
Hazel C hi you ain’t yelling at me and I said please Daddy me too I think it’s about time we started to show a little consideration and practice a bit more self-reliance we have to stop expecting Hazel to do everything for everybody well pouring coffee and milk
And cutting a piece of pie ain’t going to wear me out it’s the principle I’m talking about hazel this family thinks all it has to do is yell Hazel and get whatever it wants we’re going to change all that well if that’s what you say oh I’m uh I’m as guilty as anyone
Hazel which reminds me I won’t be bringing the Rind and the priers here for lunch on Friday oh canceled out on you no no no I uh I just thought it would be best to take them to the club to eat how’s the uh how’s the essay coming
Oh fine good well if you uh if you need any help you know like well with your spelling I mean big words like oh magnanimous you know big words like that just let me know know no I’m just using easy words that everybody can spell oh well the Simplicity can be very profound
If you don’t mind I’ll start clearing cuz I’m going to a movie and the feature starts at 7:12 Hazel Hazel you go right ahead bar Barbara and I will clear oh no I don’t want you to do that I insist kids you’re excused well it is getting a
Bit late maybe you could stack them and I’ll wash them when I get home no no no Barbara and I will we’ll we’ll wash the dishes has oh no no that’s my job who’s the boss around here you are all right now I’m telling you to get
Ready and go to the movie you’re sure I’m sure well all right then I’ll return the favor I’ll fix my special ve dish you know the one where I marinate the ve hael Hazel I don’t want you to do that but it’s your favorite I don’t want you
To go to all that trouble from now on we’re going to do what’s the easiest and the simplest for you you that’s an order okay before I get through with hazel I’ll have her absolutely inspired you may win hands down as the perfect boss but at this point you’re
Not even in the running as a passable husband when has this been your day off since I decided I wanted it though I must say I’m enjoying myself more on my working days oh what a blast oh but you you saw be complaining about Mr Williams I know Hazel you wouldn’t believe how
That man’s changed maybe I would this perfect boss contest is the greatest thing since the can uper oh I wish it never had to end are you writing about the way he is now or the way he used to be well the way he is now they’re
Looking for the perfect boss not a successor to King Kong don’t you think he might go back to his old ways after the contest is over oh sure but while this Cinderella is at the ball she’s going to live it up oh why don’t you
Change your mind and go to the maea with me I’ve got two perfect seats compliments of the boss no I’m sorry I got work to do little wait your boss won’t say anything and if he even looks like he might just ask him to spell magnanimous I already know how to spell
Magn animous I wrote my essay maybe you hate this contest to end but as far as I’m concerned I wish it had never started personally I’d like to sue the newspaper may I join you the only chance I get to relax anymore is on Clara’s day off I never thought Steve would ever
Lose his sense of humor and take it so seriously the wives are the ones that ought to get the prize I hate to think of what Steve will do if he loses I hate to think what Fred will do if if he wins anything oh no thank you
Hael we’re fine Clara was just here Miss Williams we’re both enjoying her day off I’m going down to the store I want to pick up some things to wash the windows tomorrow and I’ll pick up the kids at school I’ll have plenty a Time Hazel doesn’t seem to have been
Affected by all this not too much but I think even Hazel’s feeling the strain of working for the perfect boss Hi oh hi Mr Williams well no contracts to type today mm- Mr Baxter told me to relax to take my time he says there are more important things than contracts oh like like reading romance he’s really mellowed maybe he expects you to enter the contest Too hi oh that’s a nice smug look you’re wearing I will not return insult for insult because as we both know I’m magnanimous it’s going to take more than a few four syllable words to hide your true character Clara finished her essay last night and I must admit she caught
My character very well then you having a prayer writer friend of mine is going to take a look at it foul he’s not going to change any of her ideas he’s just going to polish it up here and there well I I I know a couple of writers myself Steve
Drop out now and save yourself the embarrassment of losing I say this to you as a friend thans friend let’s face it no man who orders a sensitive woman like hazel to wash all those windows in that big house of yours is going to be chosen by anybody for the perfect boss I
Never ordered Hazel to wash the windows Mona told me all about it like I said old buddy save face and drop Out there’s a man looking in the window oh he’s not looking in the window Hazel he’s washing it what’s he doing next for Steve hired a company to come over and wash all the windows he wanted to surprise you well you sure did I’m going to tell you but
Well he made me promise oh it don’t matter well you can use the extra time to follow polish your essay on the perfect boss I’ll polish the silver instead I ain’t going to turn in the essay oh hael Steve will be terribly disappointed that makes two of Us Hazel ohy Baron me she said you decided not to enter the contest that’s right Hazel you you can’t back out now well I can’t send in what I wrote why not cuz it ain’t true anymore when did you write this oh the other night before you told me not
To enter the contest you wrote it in one night oh sure it came easy I dashed it off in about an hour about how I felt about my work and how easy you was to work for but when I read it this morning it just didn’t seem true anymore anymore
I don’t understand well we don’t seem to be able to communicate anymore it used to be that if you like something I did you said so straight out of course you used to say so straight out if you didn’t like it too but we still
Communicate oh no no I don’t think so if you didn’t like the way I washed the windows why didn’t you say so straight out instead of sending for a couple of men to do it behind my back and you know something they’re Street I was only
Trying to make things easier for you and and I I if you don’t like my ve dish why do you pretend you like it pretend and and what’s wrong with my meals aren’t they good enough to serve to your friends the the the Ryan and the priers
Hazel your lunches are terrific I didn’t want to impose on you and I was getting so nervous with you taking those notes and and and giving me good marks bad marks these ain’t notes they’re names I never can remember names and they said the best thing to do is to write them
Down Hazel I was trying too hard to be a good boss well you was terrible before you was perfect I I’ll tell you what let me read what you wrote and I promise I’ll go back to my old way of doing things fair enough fair enough good as long as we
Understand each other I don’t care whether you enter that contest or not well as long as we understand each other there’s no reason why I shouldn’t you’re going to win hands down you know it’s easy to be the perfect boss when you have the perfect employee neither one of us is perfect
That’s going to be our secret it’s an excellent picture of both of you if I see that paper once more I will not be held accountable spoken like a sore loser if you think Fred’s taking it hard you should see Clara she’s so stunned she’s actually been
Working oh I know that’s going to be wonderful Hazel it’s that great Feld dish in celebration it’s one of my favorites Oh no I got something special for you Mr Williams you do what is it well see for yourself oh what is it Crow and for dessert I whipped you up a humble Pie Hey ja if you’re not busy can you teach me car I am very busy I have to go over these financial statements on Sunday I wanted you to show me how to place kick well I’m sorry son I’d like to show you but I just can’t today you see Mr pu’s
Coming over here on business who’s Mr puit well he’s one of our most prominent citizens and I may be doing some legal work for him well why does he have to bother you on a Sunday because it’s his only free time but Sunday is the only
Free time I have for you to teach me how to play Kick come on Harold I’ll show you how to play Kick do you know how to play Kick quo didn’t I ever tell you when I graduated from high school I played a whole season of Semi-Pro
Bowl you know I wouldn’t put it Pastor he hi there Missy well are you nearly finished no I still have the color scheme for the master bedroom to work out I’m having a little trouble oh you’ll get it don’t you worry your mother’s the best interior decorator in
The whole world maybe the best part-time decorator is Mr Baxter still on the den yeah working like a dog still Bing hey mother K just going to teach me how to place kick well that’s wonderful you better put on your mittens though it’s cold out mittens football players don’t
Wear mittens do they Hazel Harold it’s a 20-minute drive to the park oh Missy we’re not going to the park we’re just outside you’ll be okay oh well that’s all right then byebye Harold Hazel um will you be careful of the neighbors Windows remember what happened during baseball season yeah I
Know I know wouldn’t you think a neighborhood like this could have a playground where a person could really let themselves go well we haven’t so be careful come on Hazel you’re all right I got to get my sweater Milla Cy you wouldn’t want me to get a chill in my
Bowling on you know you’re bowling tomorrow night aren’t you sure that’s right and when you’re bowling in a top leag you can’t afford to take any chances but darling you’ve been added for hours well puit controls a half a dozen corporations and I must familiarize myself with all of them
There’s a lot at stake well his legal work would mean 50,000 a year to The Firm how soon do you expect him in exactly 20 minutes oh well I’ll leave you alone then sorry dear it’s such a dull day for you oh don’t worry about me
I have the color scheme for the Ferguson master bedroom to work out now you come running up nice and easy and swing your foot right through the ball you get it I think so all right let’s give it a Try oh what kick was that that was terrible I missed it I know you missed it that’s why I couldn’t believe my eyes you do it on purpose heck no of course you’re a natural born athlete you got perfect coordination you got more muscle for your size than any kid I ever saw
That’s why I couldn’t believe it really let’s feel your muscle wow if you don’t end up playing for the Green Bay Packers I miss my guess now come on let you give it another you give it once all right now you watch close see how I do it Wow uhoh right in the Johnson’s chimney I’m in the sil again run no of course not we’ll just go get a ladder and fish it out before it causes any B perfect yes Aran the fireplace seems to be smoking so it is smoking considerably I wonder if the wood is
Damp I don’t believe it’s that I believe the damper’s shut perhaps you should ring for Phoebe to open it oh Phoebe has the afternoon off she’s gone to her sisters servants aren’t what they used to be in My Father’s Day servants didn’t have some dis all and they certainly remember two
Open dampers the room’s becoming quite smoky what do you suppose we should do when will Phoebe be back well not till 5:00 really we can’t wait until then perhaps you could go next door and borrow Hazel that wouldn’t do she’s not a cup of sugar you know fine servant but
Not a cup of sugar have to take care of it myself do you know how Herbert yes I believe there’s a lever Phoebe pushes or pulls if the case may be oh here it is that should do it I’ve just reversed the position of the lever all right Harold
Run out for a long one I don’t believe that quite did it Herbert yeah it’s getting worse isn’t it perhaps we’d better open the windows so you can see Mr PR that with a legal Talent available to you in our firm we would be able to handle any problem that might arise I
Wonder say were you in church this morning yes yes quite a sermon wasn’t it frankly it didn’t hold my attention but the most incredible thing happened a woman right in back of me kept snapping me on the ear snapping me on if we could find out who she was
Could she be put in jail oh well I don’t believe there’d be any way of tracing her oh I wouldn’t have any trouble recognizing her if I saw her again say isn’t that house on Fire operator give me the fire department it’s bad enough snapping anybody on the ear in church but I will not have you doing it to potential clients it was only because of the fire engines that pu didn’t notice you why if he found out you work for me I never
Would have gotten any of his business this allly enough I don’t care about salt oh George you do too you’re very finicky about salt you T it Miss Perfect course it’s not up to my usual will you please stop changing the subject now you’ve jeopardized my relationship with
A client and put put me in the humiliating position of having turned in a false alarm all in one day and remember what the fire chief said George what was that you have to get those newspapers out of the garage I’ll get them out but can we please confine this
To what Hazel did all I did was to show Harold how to do the place kick this is a residential area not a playground ain’t here a whiz what for years people have been complaining because it was no playground in the neighborhood but you’re the first person that ever decided to do anything
About it you about what the playground with you carrying the ball we’ll have it done in no time what do you think we ought to do first what are you talking about the playground we got a Botanical Garden just a couple of blocks away from
Here but what good does that do the kids nobody ever goes there anyway can’t we turn that into a playground heyel you just can’t turn that into a playground well not all of it just half of it get some shovels and go over there and dig up all them stick plants hael that
Property belongs to the taxpayers a city well we taxpayers you and me of course I hardly rate with the salary you pay me taxpayers that property is under the jurisdiction of the Department of parks and they’re the only ones that can change it well maybe I ought to go down
And talk to them Hazel it’s not that easy it certainly isn’t that Park commissioner is a hardboiled executive oh yeah maybe I ought to wear my flowered print you know the one I mean one that sets off my figur if you don’t have an appointment you can’t possibly see it pardon me for
Being so pushy honey but I still got my marketing to do sir she insists on seeing you well what is it you commission a Bailey yes yes now what can I do for you the name is Burke Hazel Burke do you mind if I take off my coat no no not
I wanted to talk to you about the Botanical Garden do you happen to know where it is certainly I know where it is and do you know that people are talking about it well I should hope so it’s one of the show places of the state you know
What they’re saying in my neighborhood what that she should plow it up and put in a playground that’s ridiculous oh not all of it just half of it it’s still ridiculous why what do you mean why the Botanical Garden has been the pride of this city for over 50 years I know just
How you feel Mr Bailey and I admire you for it I like flowers too by the way you ought to give this poor thing some plant food I ought to send you over some of the stuff I mixed up at home miss I’m a horticulturist and I’m fully
Capable of raising my own plants now you put your finger right on it plants you’re paid by the city to raise them and you do a bang up job of it but do you know what the public is Raising kids and kidss is more important well I
Don’t kids need a playground where they can develop their muscles and grow certainly but you don’t want them playing in the streets do you well of course not or in some neighborhood where if they kick a football it lands in some neighbor’s jimney well now that’s a very
Unlikely situation it can happen take it from me now what about turning half of the gardens into a playground huh Miss Burke any change in the usage of the property have to be authorized by a public referendum now I couldn’t change it if I wanted to and I don’t get it on the
Ballot huh and how do you go about doing that by getting 5,000 signatures on a petition requesting it hey and we got an election coming up yes but to get it on the ballot you’ve got one week to get your signatures no I’m afraid you have no chance
Well I wouldn’t go betting my patunas on it good day Miss B so long commissioner I’m terribly sorry commissioner I just couldn’t keep her out that’s all right she must be some kind of nut or something wants to turn the botanical gardens into a playground can you imagine that why the pruit
Family would have a fit puit yes the the industrialist why his grandfather donated those Gardens to this city now Hazel that’s ridiculous I think it’s a wonderful idea so do I you’re on toon all we have to do wait a minut let’s see those hands what have you been
Doing shoving Cole now dinner’s in 5 minutes go on upstairs and watch them now now Hazel in the first place a petition must be drawn up correctly in the proper legal language or it won’t be valid I know that’s why I had Judge Parker write it up for me Parker yeah I
Met him while I was jury foran at that trial a couple of months ago you know the one that was kind of sweet on me oh he wrote me up a petition that was a you you never saw so many were fors and we rises in your whole life well perhaps
The petition is drawn correctly but I excuse me I I got to get the door she thinks everything is so simple believe me I’m a lawyer and I know the political Facts of Life why a thing of this sort can’t be accomplished in one week remember when I was involved in
That sewer bond issue why we took 6 months to get that on the ballot what takes so long George well in the first place drawing up the petition she had that done this afternoon well yes and then she’ll have to go to the printers for bids and then
It’ll take several days for the petitions to be printed and then there are a lot of Fram how would you like to have the honor of being the first one to sign the petition where did you get these printed my nephew ran them off on his M Grand
Machine on your pen darling yes I have my pen and I’ll sign it I’ll tell you one thing you haven’t got a ghost of a chance of getting the signatures of five 5,000 registered voters all in one week a Mr B it’s a cinch would you like to
Make a little wag around that oh I wouldn’t want to take your money you took my money on last week’s fight you had a sporting chance then I’ll take my chances on this make a bet okay it’s a bet two bits how are you going to do it
Hazel oh don’t you worry Missy just tune in on the treasure chest Bing tonight she makes me so mad every time we shake hands on a bet hi darling Oh we showing off our Grip and now for Bronson’s final Ball beautiful Bron beautiful and never seen in b b that makes Bronson score 211 Hazel will need three strikes in a row to win she’ll never do it never in the world sure she will ha can do anything everybody cross your [Laughter] Fingers well now she’s just handing it up that’s the woman that’s the woman who kept snapping me on the ear snapping me on the ear I hope it’s a gutter Ball hey hey hey like the champion she is Hazel came through on the first one oh isn’t she wonderful I hope she drops the next one on her foot one strike down and two to go can she do it we’ll soon know hey magnificent magnificent we’re watching a great athlete and a great
Competitor that’s two strikes in a row did you do one more can you stand up under the tension of this moment I’m going to bowl the next ball with my left hand no why does she take the chance I’ll tell you why it’s because she wants
To show off she can do it I hope she breaks her Arm wonderful I never down her for a moment shut up as soon as I find out how much she’s won I’m going to have backer sewer for every last penny of it well Hazel you retained the city Championship congratulations thanks Milton and now it gives me great pleasure to give you the
Acme Bowling ball company’s check for $250 what are you going to do with the money I’m going to use use it to buy equipment for the new playground what playground is that Hazel I was counting on you asking that question can I say a few words to the folks out there why
Certainly we have a moment or two before the commercial hello out there in television land I’d like to to start off by apologizing for showing off tonight and I’d like to apologize to Tommy Bronson who is a great competitor here tonight and I’d like you all to give him a great big hand
We’ve got to get into the acne bowling ball commercial just a sec Mel but I want you to know I was showing off on purpose because I need publicity to get a playground for some kids and I’d like your help Hazel the acne bulling we just
A now you’ve all seen or heard of the botanical gardens right they’re very pretty and we’re proud to have them in the city but what kind of a deal is it where you have a botanical garden and you ain’t got no playground for kids to play playing what kind of a deal is
That just a second now I’m getting up a petition to get it on the ballot so we can turn half of the botanical gardens into a playground are you with me she can’t do that my grandfather started that botanical garden and he gave it to the city Hazel please the commercial we just
A sec mil this is very important now we’re going to need 5,000 signatures in one week how many of you are willing to go out and get signatures for me stop I’d like you all to sign the petition so we could get it on the
Ballot as a matter of fact some of the nicest people in the city are behind it I’m very proud to say that Mr George baxer my employer was the first man to sign the petition and I’d like you all to give him a great big hand well that was nice of her baxer
Signing that petition now if any of you folks out there in television land that like to pick up a petition all you have to do is to stop by the backer residence night or day makes no difference and if I’m not there or I’m sleeping or something just ask for Mr backx
Woman’s going to drive me out of my mind why the Botanical Gardens have been a monument to the puit name for 50 years and I’ll bet Baxter knew all along about her snapping me on the ear too get him for this I’m going to fire him right
Now I’ll ruin that scoundrel I’ll have him disbar that’s what I’ll do I’ll have him disbar and that woman before I through with her she’ll be behind bars sorry wrong numbers 158 super 72 wow now we’re really rolling only two oh hello Mrs K oh you and Mr bre both signs
Having Mr pu kick the first ball is a nice idea Hazel but what if he doesn’t know how oh he knows how don’t worry well I do worry Mr BR is not the kind of a man who likes to make a fool of himself Mr B just trust me he’ll kick
That football like it never was kicked before here he comes now you go talk to him while I blow this thing up all right Asel I hope you know what you’re doing 25 cents for helium balloons right here 25 cents hi Smitty hello hazel how’s the wife all fine she
Wasn’t going death after all it was wax in the rear say can I use some of this stuff to blow up my football with helium that wouldn’t be regulation Hazel this would go a mile if anybody kicks it that’s just what I had in mind boys here are
Going to enter the punt and pass and kick competition but Hazel wouldn’t let him practice in J you got here well I am honored boys you know I was telling Hazel just the other day I used to play for Cornell really yes indeed played quarterback of course that was a good
Many years ago I try to keep in shape at the Athletic Club but you know how it is hi there Mr puit I thought you’d never get here hello hazel good to see you now boys this is our first practice on the puet playground so I want you to give Mr
Puit here a great big cheer Y and as a special surprise I’ve asked Mr puit to demonstrate the place kick for you so I want you to all watch carefully now cuz you can learn something well Hazel I I haven’t kicked a football in years well Mr PR if you’d
Rather not oh of course he’ll kick it well he’s a perfect physical specimen for a man his age really you’re John I bet you surprise yourself well I suppose I could try ready Hazel let her upip tiger right between the go Po I didn’t expect that Mr fr what Athletic Club do you belong to yes Aran the fireplace seems to be smoking again who’s the girl it’s everybody’s B it’s ha she’s the one can make begin ma man the grocery And it’s their stop and watch that smile when ha ha ha Ha this has been a screen gems Film Production from the Hollywood Studios of Columbia Pictures
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