I will find you you will ask what will you do when hi I’m Don and I’m Ashley we would like to welcome you to the work it you are worth it podcast where two friends sit around and talk about healing growth and healthy relationships hey Ashley
Hey Don how are you I am great how are you I’m wonderful it has been a funfilled weekend uh we went go-karting on Friday and we went roller skating on Saturday and I am reminded today of just how old I am yeah but it was worth
It yeah um wait till you turn 50 H you know people people always say you know like they say when oh you turn the day you turn 40 all of a sudden the next morning you wake up and things are stiffer than they were the day before in
39 and I thought they were crazy but it was true and then everybody said oh just wait till you’re 50 and well they were right about that too and it’s like uh every day is just like some days I wake up and I feel amazing some days I wake
Up and I feel not so amazing but I wake up so I guess that’s all that matters well today is uh I don’t know I feel amazing like and at the same time my legs are exhausted my muscles are sore like but I do feel amazing but it’s
A good sore it’s almost like a gym sore you know yeah that’s like I’m sore and tired because I had too much fun that’s never a bad thing right I know even when I go to like the other day I went to physical therapy and I was so physical
Therapy this time around is kicking my B is kicking my butt a little bit more than normal um for those that don’t know I’m eventually going to have to have knee Replacements both knees and so the um the doctor want want me to go back into therapy again so I’m like okay
Whatever so they’re a little puzzled why I’m there because I need I need Replacements but we’re doing what I got to do and this time around like usually I go and it’s good and I’m it’s fairly easy and um you know and I still push
Myself but I I don’t leave sweaty and I don’t don’t wouldn’t leave like tired but they’ve changed up what I’m doing and oh my God it’s kicking my butt like I’m working on before it was always work on balance work on you know stretching well this time I’m working on strengthening
And I’m pretty strong but not as strong as I had thought yeah I that’s definitely working muscles that you didn’t plan to work or haven’t used in a while that’s yeah yeah so anyways that’s some D but I have to say it’s it feels good though right I
Mean like it’s very odd to say it because I’m sore and yes I feel like I am 40 years old I feel my age for sure my back hurts my legs hurt my knees hurt my wrists hurt I could go on and emotionally mentally I am like like
I feel like why don’t I do this every weekend go and burn that adrenaline and get those I don’t know it’s like it you get physical and roller SK in and getting down there and sweating and going fast and then go-karting and feeling the wind on your face and the
Adrenaline from going so fast around the track and trying to get the right using your muscles to keep the car turning and keep your balance and the competition too it’s like they say that going in working out releases endorphins I’m not a huge fan of working out but I could
Definitely see if you got super competitive with it and pushed your body body to sweat and your adrenaline to pump and really make yourself go I can definitely see why that would create such positive mental emotional feeling yeah I actually thinking about that I I hate to go to the gym by myself
Because I am very much of a I am a competitive person and I’ve shared that you know like my boys and I were constantly playing games we’re constantly you know just you in competition in a healthy way right not didn’t but um I would love to have a
Partner to go to the gym with that was not a romantic partner just a person another person to go to the gym with and be a little bit competitive with because I think that would I know that would make me more motivated to go because I can find every
Excuse in the book not to go to the gym well see and I don’t I don’t necessarily think it’s about going to the gym right for me I cannot stand going to the gym I feel super uncomfortable and I’m skinny right I’m I’m 115 PBS soaking wet so I go to the
Gym and people stare and then I’m trying to work out and I’m skinny but I’m not in shape right don’t there’s a big difference between the two so I’m embarrassed because I’m trying to do stuff and I’m struggling to do it and people are staring because I should be
Able to do this stuff because how skinny I am and then I’m not having any fun so I I personally despise going to the gym I do not go to the gym I do not like and it’s so bad that I don’t even like working out like to somebody’s like oh I got
This new workout video you should check it out and I’m like yeah okay it’ll never happen good luck with that it’s go out go ahead sorry go ahead no you’re good go ahead I was just it’s crazy that sometimes we talk about all the time how
Different you and I are right I am a plus-sized woman you are super super skinny nothing to you you say you’re uncomfortable going to the gym because you’re super skinny I can would say I’m uncomfortable going to the gym because I’m a plus-size woman and right everybody stares because I’m a
Plus-sized woman which it makes no sense why people are judgmental at the gym with a plus-sized woman there because right isn’t that what I should be doing but and but and and right just like you being super skinny shouldn’t you be at the gym trying to strengthen yourself up and
Make yourself a little bit thicker and right have a little bit more shape and fitness and yo I can’t run a mile to save my life right well yeah right exactly and there it’s really sad because that’s the we both need to be in the gym doing it doing being there for
Different reasons but I don’t like to go because I’m going to be stared at I’m going to be judged I’m gonna be and that’s like that’s on me it’s the same we’re so different we’re so different but it’s so much the same situation but that’s on us isn’t that on us because
Right would we what would we tell somebody else don’t don’t who gives a [ __ ] other people’s thoughts feelings and opinions are none of our business exactly but we right who cares if they’re Stu staring at you don’t look don’t listen don’t think about it but
I’m human I am human well so that kind of leads into the second part of I was going to say though right because I don’t think that going to the gym or doing an exercise video or quote unquote working out is the only way to do it
What I found this weekend is I went go-karting and my arm muscles feel like I went to the gym and bench pressed now listen I didn’t go to a kids go-karting R we we went to the adult rink the go-karts were probably going 40 to 60 M
An hour left and right turn zip it around this track it was so much fun but it was so much work then the very next night we went to the roller skating rink for three hours dang roller skates are heavy that takes balance my thighs my butt muscles my calves my
Shins literally every muscle in my body including my core belly muscles feel like I went to the gym for 3 hours both days and I went and played and had fun kaying think about the first time you went kaying the muscles the core muscles the arm muscles like going to the gym or
Going and working out is not the only way to work out it’s not the only way to get that muscle fatigue body endorphin feeling I can go go-kart and and roller skating and have the exact same feeling yeah you know that’s another aspect of kayaking where I have not kayaked as much
Recently as I I had and part of that is I have a slower kayak my kayak is wider and shorter which is really all I need for me but to go kaying in the groups that are still out there that are kayaking they all have the they’re like
Intentional kayakers fast right yes they have the small the narrower kayaks that are really really long that are meant to cut water very smoothly very quickly and I have to paddle three times as much as they have to paddle and I still can’t keep up because my boat’s wider doesn’t
Cut water the way it right there’s wood right it’s a different design it’s made to do different things right but it’s very disappointing because I miss kayaking so much right it was an amazing um exercise for me right I would go to both days on the weekend and spend
Six hours kayaking I didn’t need to work out the rest of the week now I’m gonna say this too though I was still the same size I am now right just because I was I’m killing myself and I’m working out and right at physically being active doesn’t mean all
Of a sudden pounds are just going to shut away but it’s also not because of my eating habits either right there is there’s factors we both have that I don’t think the point of it is the weight exactly I think the point of it is healthy right right my body being
Physically mentally emotionally healthy and if I go out and do things that I enjoy be that whether whether that be going to the gym or going kaying or going roller skating or going bowling or going hiking it doesn’t doesn’t matter what it is it’s a matter of making
Myself get up and get out and remember how much I enjoy doing it and how much my body enjoys doing it I think we force ourselves to do what society says right going to the gym and working out is all the Rave these days and so many people are forcing
Themselves to pretend to be happy in going to the gym when really they’re super uncomfortable and they’re miserable and they’re making themselves feel like a failure just find something fun that still does physical right right maybe it’s going to the park and playing frisbee maybe it’s going roller skating
Maybe it’s learning how to fly a kite I don’t know it it could be anything but there’s a million things out there that we can go and do that are still physical and will still make us feel good and if you choose to not do something physical for that day or a day
Or a weekend or whatever that’s okay too right it’s really just get yourself out there I think that’s for me more what it is is all right maybe maybe it’s a concert in the park right I don’t think it has to be always be physical either I don’t think it does
Either and I think it’s really important that we don’t like there there’s two right there’s there’s two sides of every coing it is really really important that we don’t beat ourselves up if we don’t go out and do something it’s okay it’s not berating myself never made me want to go and do
Something right berating someone and being mean to someone and telling them what a lazy piece of crap they are and how terrible they are that doesn’t make them want to be better so beating myself up isn’t going to make me want to be better and at the exact same time the
Exact opposite side of that exact same coin I have to hold myself accountable I have to just get up and get out and do something so I can remember how much I enjoy it yeah so do you think what do you think right we’re talking about what we want
What do you think higher power thinks about this this is that’s such a hard question right that’s what we had said we were going to talk about today and and I think it’s really important is figuring out the difference or if there’s a difference or understanding what higher power wants versus
Understanding what I want um I don’t know that there is a difference I really don’t like when I stop and I think about what I truly authentically want and or need in my life the two things go hand inand even if I don’t like it so let me ask you a
Quick question so are you saying if I want ice cream HP wants me wants me to have ice cream I’m saying if you sit down and you consider whether or not ice cream is truly what you want and in your heart and in your gut you truly want ice cream
There’s nothing going no that’s probably not the best choice I probably shouldn’t do this there’s no little thought in the back of your head or little voice saying no I probably shouldn’t right there’s no none of that there then yeah HP probably wants you to have ice cream
If I I don’t don’t know that right so when my kids were little I used to tell them the way to distinguish between self-will and I didn’t use the words higher Powers will but that’s what I was teaching them the difference between self-will and higher Powers will was stop pause and ask
Myself is this really what I want and that first instinct that first gut uh-huh uh-uh uh that’s my answer like if I were to ask you right now Don are you sitting down and you don’t think about it you just get a gut uh-huh just the noise not even a word
Just the noise Are you standing up right now that gut response that gut answer that’s your true authentic answer answer and if you follow that if I follow that then that’s what my higher power wants that’s what’s best for me oh sorry I was on mute I don’t even
Know if you heard me say uhhuh or whatever I didn’t okay what well I am sitting down um which you knew sorry I was very engrossed in what you were saying um so I don’t know I’m there’s been plenty of times and where my head went was Financial from a
Financial money spending situ you’re talking about your head though yeah I’m not talking about your head what your head wants and what your gut or I like to use the word heart but other Society changes hard into romantic relationships so I’m not going to say heart but what your head tells you is
What comes from society that’s what PE that’s all all the shoulds right I should make this amount of money I should go here I should do this with my job but just because I should doesn’t mean that if I say do I need to my gut instinct that uhhuh uhuh that that first
Feeling thought it’s not even a word it’s a sound that first sound that comes up it might be mhm right or uh uh-huh nuh-uh it could be any but it’s just a sound that is the gut feeling that is the higher power feeling not the thought the feeling the sound does that
Make sense it does it does but no and I’m so I’m let’s say I’m sitting on the couch and I’m oh I need new shoes so I go on and I look and I really can’t afford new shoes but I’m like that to me that’s a first
Thought right yes that’s a first thought but then when you examine that thought I think there’s the piece that I was missing from what you were saying right yes you were kept saying it’s the first thing well it’s not the first thought I have is what I need to examine and then
When that first feeling that comes from my gut happens is my true the true what I should do so right so like when we talk about ice cream like do you want like when I say oh I want ice cream but then I have to stop and examine that
Do I want ice cream if that first thought says oh I want ice cream then I have to stop and I have to ask right that that’s the only way to find out am I doing my will or higher Powers will is I have to stop and ask that thought ask
Myself is that thought actually what I want and I can’t do it when I’m emotional right if I just got into a fight with with my mom I can’t stop and ask myself if I want to go no contact with my mom I’m angry I’m emotional we
Just got in a big fight I can’t do it right then I have to be calm and actually reflect and ask myself genuinely is this what I want and I think that’s the only way to know what higher power wants I one of the things I heard and I
Try to practice as as to my best of my ability is if I have a thought and I want something or consider something or that’s I want to buy a new pair of shoes I want to I want ice cream um I want to go on a dating app let’s use the dating
App right I’m sitting on the couch I’m on a dating app I want to go on like I should go on the dating app there’s something to in those moments stop right what I need to do because usually when I want to do that I’m sitting on my couch it’s
Quiet it’s a Friday night I’m bored whatever and I it’ll come pop in my head do I want to do that what I’ve what I have been told and what I try to practice is I get up and do something else just like ice cream right oh I want
Ice cream do I really want ice cream okay get up do something else get your mind on do thinking about something else and then if I and then come back to do I want ice cream and if you still if you still want ice cream have ice cream that
Is it and a lot of times I can after I’ve done get up and go for a walk usually I take the dog out for a walk I will call my mom or I’ll call you know text my friend or I’ll do you know do something around the house and then when
I revisit it a lot of times I don’t even want it anymore right it was just and I think oh sorry go ahead no you’re go ahead go ahead I I I think that that’s so important it goes into every aspect of Our Lives I think depending on how
Serious the decision is depends on how long the pause should be so if we’re talking do I want ice cream maybe we only need to pause for 30 minutes or 20 minutes and then ask ourselves again or if we’re talking about do I want to start a relationship
Or look for a relationship maybe we need to pause for a week or two and ask again or if we’re talking about do I want to end a relationship maybe we need to pause for a day or two or a week or two or a year a
Job right say say every I think that goes with every single situation the only way to know if this is self-will or higher Powers will am I am I is this the quote unquote right path the only way to know that I think is to pause and
Reflect and if I’m still unsure then I wait a day or two pause and reflect again if I get that uhuh answer four times and I still am unsure I’m just going to pause and ask again until I feel like okay I’m sure I’m ready and I don’t know if that’s higher
Powers will or if that’s self-will but that’s the only way I know how to do it I agree with that Tech like that technique of right pausing and taking a moment um when I shopping has always been a kind of a a crutch right it’s not that’s kind been
My go-to that instant gratification feeling yeah um and that’s something this year I’ve have a my higher power and I had a conversation about and something we are and I think that’s the thing we are working on this together right I have asked my higher power to intervene when those thoughts happen do
Do I need this and it happens every time because right I asked for it and so of course I’m going to get it MH and it’s my the my behaviors have changed this year um and it’s right I’m only a month in right I’m getting to that you know
It’s you know how people say my New Year’s resolution and I don’t make New Year’s resolutions I don’t personally believe in them I I feel like those are you’re kind of setting yourself up to fail but I’m going to do things differently is
More for me is more of a way to say to do it so I am getting to that point where it’s like okay I’m a month in now can I keep this up and right I need to evaluate is this is this still in my best interest is it still something I
Can maintain is it something right I had a conversation with my higher power right we’re doing we’re still doing this we’re doing good just keep you know let’s keep keep working on this and um and he does he he shows up for me when I
Need him to show up for me and he always will but I by asking for what I need and I want I will get what I need and I want one way or the other right he might he’s not going to hand it to me on a
Silver platter right he’s gon but he is gonna put that that flicker of doubt in my head yes I I think I think so many times for so long I searched for my higher power I searched for God to speak to me tell me what to do tell me what my path was
Guide me lead me and I had shut my higher power out right I didn’t have any faith in him I didn’t believe in him I didn’t I didn’t want I didn’t have any relationship with him at all I had shut him out completely and so to sit there and wait
For him to talk to me like quite literally I would wait for this I I don’t know like this blaring glaring sign to tap you on the shoulder hey hey hey I’m right here I’m saying this yes yes exactly and it never happened and
For so long I I just thought that it was like my higher power just didn’t care like he just wasn’t there and what I came to realize was I had to listen to myself in order to be able to listen to my higher power I had to have a relationship with myself
In order to hear my higher power and my higher power doesn’t he doesn’t make it that easy he doesn’t just say hey go left half the time I go left and I run into a wall and have to turn around and go back so right my higher power doesn’t
I don’t think any higher power is like hey go here really I think it’s just a feeling inside of us you know it’s it I thinking of that sto the story you told me and I mean we tell this you’ve told the story a few times so I’m not going
To do it again people are just going to have to go back and listen to the other podcasts um the story about the man with the boat trying to be rescued right the man just has a boat put in his way he’s got a a helicopter put in his way and
Then wonders what like H why you didn’t show up I did right but I but I’m not I can’t make you do things but I can give you thoughts I can give give you free will right if I make a choice and it doesn’t work out the way I thought it
Would that’s that’s on me that’s not my higher pow fault because he probably told me right he probably there was probably a moment of you sure you want to do this you sure you want to do this or even like we say it’s not our higher
Power pow fault and I do that a lot I place blame but maybe it’s not a fault like maybe this thing didn’t work out because it wasn’t supposed to work out because I had to learn the lesson that I got from it not working out maybe that painful thing that I went
Through that I wish i’ had have never gone through I had to go through in order to learn because maybe my higher power tried to show me in a million other ways that I just couldn’t hear or see like I don’t I don’t necessarily think it’s a fault does that make sense
It does and I I you know that I love that because I think that’s how I’ve found internal peace in my life and is not hanging on to like the resentments the negativity of being instead of being oh that didn’t work out I knew that you
Know I knew that wouldn’t work out I knew you know or or he did this to me if I’m you know from a relationship perspective or you know work you know work I got skipped over for a raise and it’s because this other well maybe maybe
I got skipped over for a raise because there’s something else coming down the path for me that’s going to give me threefold or right maybe there’s a a job offer that you wouldn’t ever even considered if You’ had gotten that raise and because you didn’t get the raise you
Take this new job which is going to be an amazing job right who knows right I can look at the negatives I can choose to look at the negatives but if I always look at the negatives I’m never opening myself up for the positives right and the positives are
Where the growth like I mean you grow from negatives I’m not I don’t mean that like that what I’m saying though is is when I look at the positives I grow and I change because my life gets brighter when I can find the positive within the negative yes
Somebody said the other day I don’t remember where I heard this or how I heard this but somebody said if you really think about it the brightest light when you when you look for a light and and you’re in the darkness and you’re like oh thank God for the light
There’s the light oh my God I love that light so much thank God for that light we wouldn’t even be able to see that light if it wasn’t surrounded in darkness where is the thankfulness for all the darkness so that we can appreciate that light like literally if you think about
It if it if that one light wasn’t surrounded by Darkness would it be the brightest shiniest most amazing light ever I’m so I’m thinking about the seasons think about the Seasons right oh winter I hate winter it’s so cold I’m miserable and I’m in the you know but
Then just think about when it turns spring and those first blooms and the everything starts turning green you can’t appreciate that if you hadn’t gone through the winter do you know what my favorite season is my favorite season is spring and that’s because everything is fresh and
It’s all new and it’s blooming and it’s alive I love spring my second favorite season is fall the reason that my second favorite season is fall is because everything is dying and as it is dying it is fertilizing and setting up for all the new stuff think about when the colors of the
Leaves change and how beautiful that process is what is happening that to that during that time is that those leaves are dying they are starving to death and then they’re falling off the trees but look at the beauty that that creates we wouldn’t have spring if we didn’t have winter if we
Didn’t have fall like it it all of that new life and that new growth and that beautiful freshness it wouldn’t be possible if we didn’t have the death and the barren so I have a someone that I was I’ve been I was talking to that absolutely she um the person lives
In in um in Michigan and so been very cold and snowy and all of that and she’s been very negative about the snow like I hate the snow and I got a this I got a shovel and I just you know just complain complain complain complain and I’m like
I want you to find some positives you know and and we were talking about this in some other aspects of her life but she kept complaining about the snow and the cold and the having to shovel and she hates it and just hates it hates it and I just you
Know and she and I was like I know you don’t like it I know it’s not fun having to shovel but she I said did you ever think about instead of going out and complaining about having to shovel the snow did you ever go out and
Just plop down to the snow and make a snow angel did you ever think about making a snowman instead of thinking about it from a negative such a Negative standpoint right oh I got to go shovel but you know what before I shovel I’m going to go make a snowman or I’m going
To plop down and I’m gonna and when I most people I’m sorry to interrupt you but I feel like this is really important and I’ll forget um most people in that situation go out and shovel that snow and are angry the whole time and frustrated and then come in and remember
That we’ve got to find something to be grateful for so fine I’m grateful that I have the muscular ability to shovel the snow yep but really what I hear you saying and what I hear me saying is that’s [ __ ] right I can’t just be grateful like yeah I’m grateful I have
The ability to shovel the snow yes that’s true go deeper than that like find find the positive in the snow find the good in the thing that I hate that I despise so that I can be good during this it’s changing mindset that’s all that’s really what it’s about right it’s
People I understand not I lived in the snow for 35 years I get the snow I get it’s rough I get all of that oh man I hate the snow right I moved to Florida for a reason but I can’t say when people post on Facebook or I’ll see it on the news
There’s a flicker of a moment that I’m just like oh my God that is so beautiful I haven’t seen snow but maybe twice in 20 years not saying that I want to run and move back to anywhere with snow I’m not saying that um but I do I can say it’s
Beautiful I also can say that it gets hotter than hell here here in Tampa Florida I live in Florida it gets hotter than hell in July and August I could [ __ ] about that I can’t [ __ ] go outside it’s just too hot and right I it’s no different than somebody
Living in the snow oh I can’t do this and I can’t do that because it’s just too hot and okay right it’s hot so I just go from my car air conditioned car to my air conditioned home the tradeoff is yesterday middle of January people are sitting at the pool people
Are going to the beach it was 85 degrees out it’s I think it’s finding the the the silver lining in the thing in the things I think it’s and Silver Lining yeah but I think it’s even more than Silver Lining like it’s the authentic positive like I hate the snow
I hate going out in the snow I hate shoveling the snow I hate wet feet I hate the sore muscles I absolutely get what that person is saying I literally left New York because I hate snow and there’s ways like you talked about go out with the kids and build igloo and
Snowmen and you don’t even have to go out with the kids you don’t even have to go out with kids I am still can still as an adult as a 50-year-old woman can go make a [ __ ] A Snowman because you know what maybe my neighbor needs to see
Me go make a snowman [ __ ] I went roller skating last night I was the only 40-year-old woman out there on that skating rank I promise you that right because you’re the only one that’s brave enough to do it um but you know what I mean I think it’s leading by living your
Life authentically and living it in a way by example because there is someone else there was probably someone sitting in that roller skating rink last night that wasn’t was 40 years years old looking at you and like damn maybe I should get put a pair of
Skates on and go out there right like it’s possible it’s possible exactly next time maybe I will do that right I think that’s the key is finding the genuine not the right like I don’t want to harp on the snow shoveling thing but it’s so easy right
It’s so easy such an easy example it it’s yeah I’m glad I’ve got the muscle the shovel the snow yes I’m grateful that my legs work and I can go out there and and move my car or whatever I need to do and yes I’m glad that I don’t have
Horrible asthma and I can breathe in the cold those are all things to be grateful for and yes that’s a good way to find the positive in the negative and there is some sort of true authentic gratitude like the way I described winter and the dead and the barren I had
To search for that true authentic gratitude for winter a and it is a true and real like we wouldn’t have all that living and all that beauty if we didn’t have that dead and desolate um I think it’s important to find that true authentic gratitude and I believe and I think that
Has to to do with how you know your higher Powers will thank you that’s I actually was headed there myself was right that’s my higher power is light my higher power is beauty my higher power is positivity my higher power is all things great and amazing and wonderful my higher power is not
Negative I am negative so if I am in my negative place then I am not connected to my higher power are you saying that NE negative things won’t ever happen to you oh no no no negative things happen all the time but that means if I dwell in that
Negative thing happening and I just sit in it and I let myself be in the yuck and the and that’s me when I find the positivity in that negative thing like okay well so this happened yeah that sucked but however whatever the you know right pick your word and whatever you
Want to say whatever makes you happy saying it this happened too and you know what next time I’m gonna I’m G to be able to do I’m going to choose to do a do handle it a little differently I’m gonna um I learned this and I’m gonna use that
Next time exactly or right this this this sucked but you know what it’s okay it’s okay I I right I you you know I was at work the other day and um I walked by somebody and this is going to lead into I think I think
What you were saying and I walked by somebody and I was like hey man how you doing today and he was like I’ve had a really shitty day and I’m in a really horrible mood and I was like oh man that really sucks I’m that that’s really
Shitty dude I’m really sorry to hear that and he stopped and he looked at me and he went it does thank you and he smiled and laughed and walked away acknowledge that it sucks acknowledge that it’s shitty and then take what you need to from it so you can
Find the positive POS all he needed was somebody to acknowledge that that sucked and that made his made it better he was like oh damn she validated me there we go I’m good now acknowledge the acknowledge the feelings it sucks it’s shitty it’s bad validate them damn that’s really
Shitty I’m sorry to hear that I hate that way I hate feeling that way and then take that validation and that positivity and go on with it right find the positive in the negative find the lesson find what I need take what I need and move on and that could happen instantaneously
Right go out in the snow I got to go shovel snow I’m going out find the good in the in the moment I’mma drop backwards and make this Angel and then look at how pretty it is and then go shovel and look at it again on my way in and
Of how much fun it was and you know and that’s actually exactly what I said to this person was I said do you think about if you made a snowman every time you looked out that window because it right it’s gonna it’s cold and it’s going to be cold for a
Week it’s not going to melt you’re gonna see that snowman every time you walk to the window you walk outside and you’re going to smile you’re going to remember man that was fun I hav done that that snow and we put it into a bucket and we build an igloo for the
Neighborhood kids or for ourself yeah or what if we take all that snow and we throw it in one big pile and we build a little sledding hill and every time you see it you smile because you remembered the good you’re not going to remember the fact
That I built this Snowman and it was fun and then then I had to shovel you’re not going to think about that in a week you’re going to remember you’re going to see that snowman with the carrot in his nose and think about how much fun it was
Exactly not and how accomplished it was exactly not oh damn after I did that I had to go shovel or maybe you make the bottom of the Snowman and shovel a third of the driveway and then you make the middle and shovel a third of the driveway and
Then you make the top and shovel a third of the driveway right or maybe you make a snow castle and every time you shovel the driveway way you make another corner of the castle I find a way to make it fun right I love that right it’s it’s
Kind of a reward it’s kind of motivation I think that’s really what we are saying I and I know HP is saying right find the motivation find the good find the love find the happiness find because we all have happiness within us it’s just whether you choose to to
Embrace it I can embrace my negativity and I know it’s a choice I know that yep it is I know that in the end it is a choice and it doesn’t seem like a choice at first right sometimes we have to fake it until we make it sometimes I have to say
If I stop and build this snowman then I will feel this way and I have to pretend I believe it and do it anyways and then see the result afterwards and maybe I don’t feel it when I build the snowman so maybe next time I do it I try an
Igloo or I try a sledding hill or right I try different things until I find the thing that does work yeah yep I I can’t just give up and be like oh I hate this and just hate it all the time over and over because it doesn’t
Change anything uh God what was that movie I watched last night it was a movie with Snoop Dogg and Mike EPs and it’s on Amazon and Snoop Dogg plays this football legend and he’s very self-centered very egotistical but then he has to go and Coach this group of um um kids from the
Ghetto very very very poor peeeee league and as the movie goes on the only thing that changes is his mindset the coach’s mindset and as his mindset changes you see everything begin to change yeah it is it is literally just that like if I judge myself harshly others
Will judge me harshly because I will judge them harshly if I am miserable in everything I do I will always be miserable and I will make people around me miserable I have to I have to change my mindset I have to choose to have a different mindset and sometimes Faking
It is the way to make it so I’m GNA take this full circle because we were talking about the gym and all of that yuck in the beginning so isn’t shouldn’t and I’m not saying I’m not advocating for people going to start going to the gym because
I’m not going to start going to the gym but is isn’t it our mentality should it not matter like if I want to go to the gym right and I want to go walk on the treadmill and I want to dance while I’m walking on the damn treadmill and I want
To look like a fool look like a fool grab a hold of it run with it and right and forget what everybody else thinks it just doesn’t matter right because they’re judging right they some other people might be judging me in a negative way but there is always
Going to be somebody that’s going to be be like damn that [ __ ] has got balls or like we don’t know what’s in people’s heads right at the beginning of this we talked about how we thought they were judging us at the gym maybe in their
Heads is hell yeah look at that girl on that treadmill dancing she’s got some Rhythm look how good she looks we don’t know the confidence the whatever yes right maybe those people are staring because they’re like damn look at her outfit I wish I could wear that here or
Whatever we don’t know what people are thinking we assume we know and I don’t know about you but my mom always told me that assuming makes an ass out of you and me assu m that’s how that’s what assuming does that so I I I still use that I still use
That I so don’t assume what other people are thinking it makes us both look like [ __ ] yeah in every situation I can’t believe how I never took that in until recently and used to get told that all the time yeah I know we were a little all over
The place today which is okay um I think it was amazing I do too I do too so um Ashley thank you um I know we both have to get on with our days um busy time for both of us so um listeners thank you Ashley thank
You have a great week thank you Don thank you listeners and I hope everybody has a wonderful week bye bye we would like to thank you for joining us on this journey of self-discovery visit the workit website at workit worth it.com to submit your questions and topics for future episodes
And remember work it because you are worth it
source
