She Caught Him Cheating l 2 Be Better Podcast S2 E6

Thanks for tuning in to the 2B better podcast this is episode 206 you guys are getting a quick disclaimer before we get into this that there are some heated discussions that happened during the course of this podcast uh I tend to get a little bit passionate when talking

About things here and there and though I may seem a little aggravated in this episode I did get a little bit animated it did not come from a place of anger or frustration it came from a place of passion and peaches and I having in-depth conversations so with that

Being said I hope you guys enjoyed the podcast stick around to the very end because there is a question that’s posed and I would like to get your thoughts on it enjoy the Episode and we are back we are back bumblebees episode six of Season Two Season Two yeah that’s crazy crazy it’s like I knew you were gonna say that oh man so we were supposed to record at the studio today we were but they were dancing just getting it yep we uh we

Were supposed to do six and seven today and then we have conservative ant tonight I uploaded our first Triple R video today you want to talk about that I’m pretty excited about that yeah so we started the triple RS that’s for you to figure out what it

Means no it is review Recreation and relation so we are reviewing our Hobbies review Recreation and and the impact that it has on our relationship as a couple and we even did like a really neat little number scale of how much we think it’s impacted us yeah um

It gives us an ability to review things that we buy um it gives us an ability to talk about the way that it is real world use for us as a couple to give potential date ideas for those of you who are looking for new hobbies and ways to

Reconnect with your person that are outside of the house not going to the movies not going to the same restaurant right not playing the I I don’t know what do you want to do game yeah so and it may not relate to a lot of people I

Mean the first one is about the ebikes and and that that’s kind of an expensive hobby I get that um but it is something that you know you guys can go okay well we can’t afford ebikes maybe we could buy regular bikes there are other options it’s just you know this was our

Life in the way that we’re working it so could be roller skates could be we should do that I would love to do that show everybody my skating skills and show them how much I fall you’re already injured the last thing we need is for you to be falling

Around on skates but I love skating it’s so freeing and moving and I just got to I think the balance that I’m getting on my ebike I could do it better I don’t think that’s the case no no I think we should rent Astros skate in Bradington

As a meet and greet word [ __ ] word that would be dope right that would be really dope yeah um I also since we’re on the topic of of weird things I I think that I I really regret the studio yeah I’ve kind of been been having the same sentiment there were a

Lot of high hopes of it’s going to be dope to get out of the house and finally work and have that home work life separation and now it’s we’re we’re living by somebody else’s schedule right because of the dance studio and I think that if it was a standalone building I

Wouldn’t feel that way we could be there all day and it wouldn’t inhibit anything right and with us having to move cameras back and forth because we had to go pick these cameras up today to record my big ass backpack with me yeah the only upside is the internet that’s there it

Is really nice internet and then obviously not having people in our house for guests but yeah safety concerns and whatnot but I I you know I’m also at a point now where like I really wonder how much of this is going to be interview sustained long term it’s a good question

You know I really thought that the garden was going to be a really dope way to interview women and so far it’s more of just book breakdowns and murder mystery well it’s not like you don’t have peopley trying to come on to the Pod definitely do have

People trying to come on to the podcast it’s just I’ve noticed a lot of it’s more about the fan girl yeah and wanting to meet in person and not actually have in-depth conversations about life and problem solving like I’m even to have wom women I

Am I am even willing to have women come onto the garden segment segment to talk about their struggles and their relationship not even a romantic relationship it could be like a mother-in-law relationship and we can like live problem solve with each other and then that could be a conversation

That helps thousands of other people right just haven’t found that kind of thing yet yeah I mean there would definitely have been some really dope interviews some really fun interviews and spooky interviews just not the influx of um Quality conversations I’m looking to have I suppose yeah definitely have some

In a priority folder that I that I’m going through and once things simmer down a little bit because we’re booked out for the month of January into February for interviews yeah I don’t want to overdo it with booking another three or four people we don’t have a lot of days

During the week we really don’t I I’m at a point now where like I I want to start being more selective with the guests MH and like I don’t want to book myself out months in advance like cuz we have we do have guests coming until

March I don’t want to do that again I’d like to book out two or three weeks at a time and then find guest two or three weeks at a time and go that route yeah we got frothy yeah just got to that’s okay we’ll wait thank

You what all of that came through the microphones did it well sorry guys I’m bougie we’re trying to get healthier oh God I hate it I hate the process I made a Tik Tok bitching about it yesterday yesterday did you see it uh no the only Tik Tok I

Saw that you made yesterday was the herb Tik Tok oh man yep I made a Tik Tok on my account I’m like hey guys this is like one of those FaceTime calls that you guys really enjoy how are your days is going cuz I’m really about to

[ __ ] like I’m sitting here and I’m on a calorie deficit and I’m eating a tortilla with beans and potatoes and it’s not like it’s a stuffed crust pizza or anything not what I really want but I can’t live off of mac and cheese and potato balls and chocolate milk

And I was like I am the fine apple of my husband’s eye and that fine doesn’t happen by itself so we got to be motivated did you ever find the recipe for your smash Browns no if you guys work at Maple Street B Biscuit Company and you have the recipe for the smash

Browns or if you find them email them to peaches tub.com and real big in the description right smash Browns in the subject line because she’s been looking and hasn’t been able to find them it’s been almost month I’ve looked on Pinterest I’ve looked on Google I’ve

Looked on Tik Tok I’ve looked on like copycat recipe websites why are you guys hiding it so well from me what is this I’m excited where the the direction of everything is going yeah yeah how so uh well we’re doing our first ever murder mystery live stream tonight

That’s exciting I’m very excited about that I mean by the time you guys listen to this youve missed it but hopefully it becomes a bimonthly thing not every two months but twice a month where we or I sit down on a live stream if you want to

Be a part of it I would love that uh the it was bi-weekly not by monthly bi-weekly bi-weekly is the every other week by month is every other month gotcha that way you don’t have to correct it next time biweekly yeah um I I mean I’m going to sit there and listen

And I’ll chime in if I feel the need to the murder mystery thing is just not my cup of tea no I get it I just don’t I I think that we put too much emphasis on murderers um and like we we we glorify them like this whole Gypsy Rose thing

She’s world famous now and like she killed her mom I I don’t think that we should be glorifying murderers I don’t think I’m glorifying it no but we are we are putting that into the public sphere I guess I I don’t know I think the way

That I break things down and I talk about the psychology behind it it’s more of an understanding of why people do what they do okay you don’t think that people are glorifying serial killers oh I think people 100% glorify serial killers people are glorifying her right now she’s a massive they’re calling her

The Tik Tok Queen she hasn’t been released from prison for a month and she already has 10 million followers yeah it it’s a lot to process that people do definitely glorify Killers yeah I don’t think that she should have the platform that she has I understand that she was abused and

Like she had a horrible upbringing and like her mom did a bunch of foul [ __ ] but she killed her mom period um I don’t really have a whole lot to like update on I I feel like we’ we’ve taken a lot of downtime and we’ve done a lot of cool [ __ ] and

Like we’ve been tick tocking the life account so like the Tob better life account has a bunch of our day-to-day [ __ ] in it so people really kind of know what’s going on and we don’t have to but I also realize that there are a whole lot of people that don’t follow that

Account that listen to the podcast so I feel like we should be updating [ __ ] you want to talk about the quads for the kids yeah we can talk about the quads we can talk about all the herbs that came in let’s do that do the herbs first then

We’ll get into the quads so all of my herbs came in from my Apothecary for people wondering where I got my herbs from it’s from montere Bay herb Co they were by far not sponsored by them by the way not sponsored I would love to be are

You kidding me but not sponsored they’re just by far the company that I’ve come across that is not only best in sale price like wholesale they also have a large plethora of things to choose from um two really big things for me that I wanted to have for my Apothecary was

Lion’s M and Rishi mushroom and all of the super big like apothecaries all the YouTubers were recommending didn’t have that I was like I guess I’m going to have to grow it I really don’t want to dedicate the time to that but it I want it there are so

Many health benefits from those two mushrooms and funny enough Amy recommended um Monterey Bay to me and I checked they had everything I wanted I not everything they were out of Mullen and I got the notification 3 minutes after the Box hit my front porch our

Front porch of oh hey this is back in stock and I was like great that doesn’t help me with my shipment sitting outside I wonder if Paul stam’s company has Ry mushrooms and Lion’s man that’s dehydrated and what you’re looking for because that’s going to be the purest

Quality you can get yeah stamus is like a mushroom God he’s the man I don’t eat portabellos because of him yeah yeah when I go grocery shopping I love mushrooms I love like cheese stuffed mushrooms I love adding mushrooms to like my pasta oh I don’t

Know what it is just does something for my brain but every time I go shopping PTO Bellos are the first one to pop up and I was like nope he is scared of someone coming after him if he talks about that so I’m not [ __ ] with it

Yeah I’m not a big mushroom person I like the fun guys though yeah talking about the dad joke but I’m gonna start making my tincture soon I’m going to be making cough syrups for the kids because they’re very mucousy all the time so am I I don’t get it well they’re in school

And it’s just passed around in young kids it’s good though it’s how they build their immune systems it is so we bought quads for the kids got little man a Kawasaki 90 and uh princess got a Suzuki 90 also I don’t remember exactly Which models they were but they’re

Automatic quads that you can adjust the throttle on and we did this because we want to be able to get the kids to start riding so that when we go do outdoor stuff they can come with us we bought them High boy balance bike so they can start learning to ride

Bikes and then we moved up to the quads because there’s no clutch and there’s no real balance there they just have to learn how to not roll the thing over and learn how to hit the brakes and watching the two personalities get on those things and the um if you have kids

You understand that they are not the same correct and you can’t raise them the same right same household same same rule structure they are going to have two very different mindsets and our son is afraid of everything and like he’s like mhm roll break fence right and she’s like this makes it

Go full throttle no chill yeah ran into her brother twice ran into the fence smashed her face smashed her face cried got back on it did it some more yeah um but she was able to learn a lot faster than him because she was able ble to

Learn to lean into those turns very quick so our son was born mad premature like almost three months prematurely and the highrisk doctor came in and told me that pretty much his inog gyos spear is going to be off kelter so anytime he’s doing anything like swinging or being on

A bike or roller skates or anything like that he’s going to constantly feel like he’s falling and like I get that experience when I’m on dirt bike I can’t remember what you did but you’re like felt like I was falling the whole time I’m like that’s how I feel when I’m riding the

Bikes it’s it’s a constant like I feel like I have to overcorrect myself this is a fun house effect kind of we were we were in um an antique shop right in that little antique area off of uh Highway 60 on off of exit 60 on 75 in Tennessee MH um that

Building had the floor was wonky and all the bookshelves were leaning in different directions and like it had a fun it made me nauseous I had to walk back downstairs it couldn’t be up there so that’s that’s yeah the gyroscope thing is the thing I guess but he’s

Never said he’s afraid of falling he’s never expressed any of that I just I don’t think he can articulate what he’s feeling yeah because it’s hard to explain the best way I can explain it to you is like a sense of constant falling yeah but that’s not really it because I know I’m

Logically not falling but it feels he’s not a clumsy person and he’s not walking around falling all over the place no he’s not I I I do think that a lot of it just comes down to fear because he’s super afraid of getting hurt M everything in him is is an OE and

Like he doesn’t want to look at his his boo boos and [ __ ] like well he’s doing better with that he’s a very sensitive child yeah yes he is that’s I mean but that’s not the the whole point of all of that was that they’re just two very

Different children yeah and I think that um I think that she’s going to end up being the the going mud and getting gross you know smashing beer bottles over people’s faces as she gets older and he’s going to be the probably the reserved indoor video game kid I just I

Don’t see them doing the same things yeah and as much as I would love to have them have the same Hobbies as they get older as they start to come into their own I don’t think that we’re going to have that anymore and it’s going to make

It not as enjoyable to do family vacations because I’m be like hey let’s go ziplining or let’s go ride quads and he’s going be like yeah I don’t want to I feel like it’ll be like a the first season of Cobra Kai where the kid has got the video game console and

Everybody’s doing [ __ ] and he’s like no I just want to play games I I feel like he would be if that does if that is how that plays out he would probably be content sitting on a lawn chair with a book while we’re riding our quads out in the mud or

Whatever yeah yeah he enjoys being on everything yeah no I know he has fun with it he’s just afraid of it all still he didn’t he he even though he hit stuff he didn’t hit it full boore I really do think it comes down to he’s afraid he’s

Going to get hurt on everything that he does which is good you should you should have a [ __ ] respect for those things unlike our daughter unlike her right unlike me she yeah unlike yeah I I feel like as they get older I he might become more into like the things I’m interested

In and she’s going to be more Mad Max I I really think that he is going to be a quiet scientist you think so yeah archaeologist archaeologist paleontologist something he he’s going to be he’s so smart he is so smart and he very much doesn’t like getting dirty and

Things the archaeologist is probably not going to be a thing so and our daughter I don’t know what she’s going to be a ballerina dirt biker a handful yeah yeah let’s jump into some emails I’m very excited about my Apothecary yeah I hope it does well so I

I really want to take our family in a more holistic way and in my backpack right here I haven’t opened this backpack in a while I’m not going to lie to you guys and in my very front pocket I have like 800 milligram IV proen and like Elderberry gummies and airborne and

All these kinds of things and I’m like this is very like big Pharma and I’m excited to be able to start carrying around my own remedies for things and kind of move away from the chemical toxins and be able to bring that to the masses I’m very excited to open my own Apothecary

Shop any news on the bath line I have to get with Britney and we have to do a a FaceTime call to solidify how I want everything to look and how much we’re making in the quantities and all that kind of stuff I we also have to sit down and figure out

Pricing because we we bought the supplies so we need to know if that covers the first shipment could possibly cover the second shipment all of that stuff before you get into that um guys we normally do like the patron as patrons come through and we’ve stopped doing that because we’ve started muting

Our phones while we’re recording or trying to yes and not have them in our hands it it picks up static the cackling oh that makes me uncomfortable so I’m going to hit you with all the YouTube stuff while she pulls up emails guys if you are new to the channel and you have

Not yet subscribed please do so um if you would like to support the channel the best thing to do is to share the content and in the event that you would like extra content because you’ve binged watched everything that we have put on YouTube patreon is the way to go our

Patron Community gets live streams once a week they get uh early release content from time to time they get her garden episodes there is full length yeah obviously full length um there’s a lot that goes on in in patreon and Discord and and for $15 $10 $15 a month it’s

It’s worth it so check that out and um for those of you who like the Tob better merchandise that we were doing uh we still have shirts for sale on the website Tob better. we do and we still have the matching his piece her home yep

With the valves written on the front so if you want a little a little couple shirt that’s not exactly matching but still gives that Vibe I’d highly recommend checking that out yeah yep still have some protector shirts got some um uh choose your hard shirts there’s

There’s the my my my husband’s got me shirts there’s still quite a bit of shirts left we didn’t we didn’t go through a as many as I thought we were going to go through are kind of over ordered so there are shirts on the website um and then lastly today’s

Episode are brought to you by two things Tob better Brew which is our coffee company you can go to Tob better brew.com and get our coffee and tea and tea um the pecan pie is my favorite I [ __ ] love it it smells good it tastes

Good it’s my [ __ ] we have a chai tea that’s really good yeah you like the chai tea huh I love chai te oh I’m not supposed to say that so we actually the kids and I have been watching the new like spiderverse movie and apparently

Saying chai T is just saying T so I like chai there we go I guess I don’t get that so chai I guess means [ __ ] tea yeah so saying chai tea is like saying coffee coffee it’s like saying an ATM machine yeah like an ATM machine that was

Another one of the things in the movie was it it was yeah so I really enjoy chai and we have a very good selection of tea on the on the website and lastly the second sponsor of the show is Matrix hormones for those of you who are unfamiliar with Matrix hormones and you

Have never had your blood work done I highly recommend that you look into doing that um peaches and I are both patients of them which is how we got hooked up with them in the first place if you go on to their website you click their new new patient forms fill out the

Forms there’s a drop- down menu if you hit Tob better it will save you $200 on your your initial consultation um our initial consultation mine was 45 minutes for this was almost 2 hours because women have a different blood panel than we do we’re so in depth we’re like a

Pool there are so many chemicals and whatnot inside of us that have to be balanced and one thing being off could trigger four other things being off and fixing one thing being off in those four things might set off another three things we are very complex beings we just need

Testosterone yep yep that’s it so if your sex life is [ __ ] up if your depression’s messed up if your sleep is messed up not energized not energized there’s a whole lot of things that come into play and it normally comes down for us to estrogen and testosterone so we

Need to me to to um balance our estrogen out and get our testosterone to where it’s supposed to be and we’ll feel a lot better so if you’ve never had your blood work done I highly recommend that you do it because in the best case scenario your blood

Panels are perfect and then you will have documentation showing that your blood panels are perfect in the event that you need to get blood work done in two or three years or 10 years you can go this is where I was and they can get you back to your normal levels versus

Dealing with the decrease because the average testosterone and men are three times lower than what they were in our grandparents that’s insane to think about Yeah it’s gotten so bad that they’ve actually lowered the number of what testosterone is supposed to be in men to to to keep up with the fact that

It’s dropping down right not bring it back up let’s just lower the standard and be okay with that how disgusting also guys if you enjoy the content please share it sharing it is the best way to support Tob better liking it commenting interacting we love hearing your guys’ opinions in the comments

Maybe how you and your partner talk through something that you never experienced and Came Upon okay dope that’s good to know our goal this year is 250,000 Subs on YouTube we’re at 161 as of this morning quarter of a million yeah we want a quarter of a million by

The end of 2024 so let’s let’s share the podcast let’s get people active on YouTube um let’s fix some relationships yeah I’m going to start being active again on the premieres on Mondays uh I actually missed that I enjoyed those yeah so all right emails let’s do some

Emails okay cuz there’s people right now who are not familiar with what we do going I wish they just shut the [ __ ] up and get on with it get into it sorry about the change of wardrobe guys we uh had a quick disruption and we’re able to

Get it right before we got that email going wanted to touch on two things we will have something a question that I want to pose to everyone at the end of this and we got another another couple’s opinion as well that will be a topic but before we get into the emails it’s

Important to let you guys know that we are not professionals there are no letters underneath of our names or behind them no counseling no schooling we are just two opinionated people on the internet who give unsolicited advice no it’s solicited it is solicited people do ask us solicited

Advice because you asked for it so there you go this whole thing started because people asked for it I’m going to eat while you read I hope you enjoy it and I’m going to try not to get the The Sounds in the mic you’re you’re pretty

Good at not chewing with your mouth open so so this email is titled what do I do now I cheated on my husband that’s the mistake he thinks I did it one way that another girl told him but in reality what he believes happened is not the truth is

There any scenario for you where you’re like where I say this is an us situation would never be us but say I know that I did this thing but that’s not the way it happened is there any other scenario that could be brought to you where it could

Lessen the pain for you or change your mind on it what do you mean another scenario cuz she’s saying that one girl told him this is how she cheated on you and in reality that’s not how it happen so would you still want to hear hear me

Out would it would it change your course of action maybe maybe because I would want the truth right but I wouldn’t want it to be like it didn’t happen like that it happened this way I would I would prefer yeah I cheated it didn’t play out that

Way do you really want to know how it happened but yes I cheated yeah like bottom line is still the same right because I got to be honest I wouldn’t want the details yeah at all not even a little bit I wouldn’t want to know why I wouldn’t want to know

How it’s a lie I wouldn’t want to know why but I would have to that would be a later discussion yeah time to process the hurt of Y or the shock of things the shock would be it I would also want to know the truth and the why of it I

Wouldn’t want to know the details it would definitely be a conversation if somebody came to me and told me this is this true and if the truth is that the cheating happened then you’re right I would have to also get over that shock I think it’s important to establish that hearing

Everybody out yeah is important even though it doesn’t change the bottom line it might not change his course of action you know what I think is wild and I we see it all the time is when a woman sleeps with a married man and then runs back and tells the married woman that

They slept together and then they correspond a lot yeah like they build a friendship off of it right and the man’s the enemy to both women mhm when The Other Woman knew what was happening the whole time and chose to be the other woman yeah another thing that blows my mind

Is women that will go out and like either pay someone or just ask them like hey as a favor will you try to catch my man cheating on me and will you be the one to try to lure him into that I saw a Tik Tok video where two people sat down

At the table she’s like I know I you cheated on me he’s like what are you talking about she’s like no I know what I have like she came back and she told me I set the whole thing up and he was dumbfounded and then come to find out

The girl lied to the girlfriend to try to break them up try to break them up she’s like you don’t deserve that I would treat you so much better than how she treats you yep walking into their own trap when you do that you’re setting yourself up for failure not your partner

For you because one of two things are going to happen he’s going to cheat or she is going to cheat mhm and you did that yeah or they’re going to find out that you did that and they’re not going to trust you yeah so why not have the

Conversation of why you guys aren’t trusting each other why don’t why don’t you start there MH it’s crazy to me that would be a betrayal to me the going behind the back and trying to orchestrate that yeah I view that as the same yep it it would definitely hurt my feelings it would

Make me question a lot of things like even like good intention things like where they trying to set me up for something in that I I would question it a lot things got really bad between us I stopped feeling loved and important to him I always felt like I came last to

His family friends cars money and other materialistic things I tried to tell him how I felt and he always said that I was a priority but his actions didn’t prove that to me I wonder what the actions were that made her feel like she wasn’t the priority I

Wonder how that conversation went right like how was it said I wonder wonder if there was a conversation about that all all that material [ __ ] all the toys cuz I’m that guy right I love my new toys they’re fun for like 3 weeks 6 months you know what the consistent the one

Constant thing is in my life you so while we’re buying toys and doing these things and you’re going to do a bath line and Apothecary and gardening and planting and you’re going through your hobbies and I’m going through my hobbies and we’re enjoying life together we’re doing it together MH I’m not excluding

You you’re not excluding me I don’t have interest in some of the [ __ ] that you’re doing which makes makes it so you have selfcare time yeah I get to do self-care time sometimes I get to do mad Magics [ __ ] with my friends like that’s normal

Life [ __ ] MH if you are not a priority to your person have you told them that you make me feel less than all of the material items that we have in life thank you for keeping me around but I don’t feel like I matter as much as your car yeah cuz I’m I’m

Willing to bet if you actually said that to your person you’d feel pretty [ __ ] stupid after you said it in most cases most cases you’d feel pretty stupid after you said that cuz saying that out loud it sounds dumb right and I’m not saying that you’re stupid for saying it

Or feeling it like when I said that out loud I was like that that’s pretty dumb like that makes me feel dumb to verbalize that because let’s let’s break that down right when you’re like babe I want $1,000 to buy dried herbs from a

Website cool give me a day got it babe I want to go go buy a new Quad okay go right that’s not making me feel less than it you’re taking care of I’m being taken care of we’re filling each other up and still living Our Lives yeah

Getting toys and having fun and going on trips and vacations and family gatherings and all of that [ __ ] is life [ __ ] I wonder if he excludes her from those things or if she even tries to be a part of it yeah I I make an active

Effort to be a part of your your hobbies and your interests and make it a point to be near you when I can do you think that’s a I feel neglected or do you think that’s uh I just want to be a part of the things cuz that’s a different

Conversation that is a different conversation right because like hey I noticed that you’re into cars I like cars can I can I build a car with you can can I go sit on the the side of the the frame of the body while you’re under it twisting wrenches I’ll hand you tools

I I don’t care what we’re doing I just want to be near you while we’re doing it like that’s a very different conversation than everything else is above me and I’m not a priority it is a very it’s a very different mindset right here’s another thought if you’re not a priority and you

Are not working and he obviously has money to buy toys and do all of these things are you a financial burden to him or are you a priority because if he’s still taking care of you you’re a priority if you’re working and taking care of all your own

[ __ ] and you guys have split money and you guys are just living as roommates you know two ships passing in the night kind of thing maybe you’re not a priority see it’s different conversation right but that that’s a takes two to tango type thing absolutely does if you

Don’t feel a priority to him have you had the conversation of do you feel like you’re a priority to me because I’m not feeling like one to you and if we are Mis stepping or we’re on two different planes of thinking we we need to figure

This out because I don’t like how this feels right it doesn’t say how long they’ve been together it does say husband so they’re married okay doesn’t say how long they’ve been together I stopped feeling loved that that’s a really big thing to say a really big

Thing to say because even on like our bad days where we’re both depressed and [ __ ] going through it with BPD or something triggers outside and we don’t know what the root is but we’re in a bad [ __ ] mood like I I can still tell you love me that’s a choice though

That’s a choice that I make right because when I’m ready to burn the world down I know that I’m depressed right now and if I treat you the way that I’m ready to treat every everything else we’re not going to be okay when I come out of this depression right I’m

Depressed not not dumb right so like that’s a choice when you were going through it you know that we love each other it’s a choice because you could treat me the way that you’re going to treat everyone else and it would destroy the relationship not feeling

Loved is it you feeling and this comes to perspective it does I don’t know the relationship I don’t know if he’s actually doing things like calling you a dumb [ __ ] or you know what I mean like degrading your phone calls right you know what I mean cuz you’re not giving

Us that that window into your life information right but to say that you don’t feel loved have you told him why you don’t feel loved instead of going you don’t love me yeah cuz that’s an accusatory statement the communication is you can’t you can’t be like that

Towards people right it could be a conversation of I don’t feel my feelings right that makes it about you right this is a me problem I don’t feel loved because every time we have a date night plan and then your friends call you up you decide to go drinking with them I

Feel there is a lack of Love exchanged in that moment because you’re making them a priority over our date nights do you think that’s applicable I do um but I also think that I I feel like that’s also vag no I I think that that can be taken combative why because that became

A you statement it started as an I feel and then became a you statement I feel like you don’t love me because you cancel with our dates every time we have friends every time your friends reach out to you right because it went from this is how I feel now I’m accusing you

Of something instead of saying I feel like you don’t love me because our date nights are interrupted and I would really like to have quality time with you there’s no no way for that to be a well [ __ ] me kind of thing right okay and then if he asks for examples he asks

For it and if you ask for it you give it to him you know what I mean that but that that that situation I also don’t think is helpful I think the conversation is is I miss you I want to spend time with you let’s do something

And like not cancel the plans like let’s really [ __ ] do something together right and then as you were saying that all I could think to myself is they probably don’t like being around each other because if she doesn’t know how to talk to them and an i eye statement

Becomes a you statement and it’s accusatory and they’re not able to converse properly why would I want to go out and hang out with you when I can go out hang out with my buddies and not get that and just have a good time right that’s the thing for a lot of people

People are are married and in relationships are [ __ ] miserable and they don’t want to hurt each other’s feelings and it’s not worth the fight to have the conversations to get past the hump that they’re in or slump get over the hump or out of the slump that

They’re in and and they just live in that Perpetual cycle of Despair and and frustration and it’s because of that lack of ability to to say what’s going on without creating conflict I don’t know I I don’t know the i in U statements matter they really do and it’s very hard especially when

You’re hurting or you’re frustrated to be able to articulate yourself in a way that does not attack somebody and and like people’s traumas their cognitive biases past relationships learned lived experiences all of that [ __ ] is going to come out in those moments and it’s going to muddy the water right and there’s

Nothing you can do about it you can you can make the perfect [ __ ] eye statement and they could still react from an emotional standpoint because they realize something’s off and they don’t want to have the fight that’s about to happen happen back into the email yes you know it’s crazy as I sit

Here and eat this meal that if we had a sponsor right now we’d be able to sponsor their meal instead I’m not going to tell you who made this or how much I paid for it because sponsor us very subtle hints babe yeah yeah I thought that was subtle for sure very

Subtle mhm being Silent not subtle no I said subtle you did say it again subtle subtle the [ __ ] is the point of the bee to confuse people they did a very good job it’s like Iceland and Greenland Iceland is green and Greenland is just ice oh gosh now I’m on a whole

Side I’m on a whole side rail Danish in the Discord last night pointed out she’s in a different time zone [ __ ] you’re in the same state what do you mean you’re in a different time zone and it turns out this little it bitty teeny tiny part of the pan handle

Of Florida it’s Central Time Zone and not Eastern but the very tippy tippy tippy top of Michigan that crowns over attached to some other state is part of Eastern Standard Time Tallahassee that part of that Panhandle part of Florida Falls within that same line of that

Tippy top part of Michigan I don’t you going to make it over there I don’t know they do that on purpose they really do like that one OCD person’s really going to get I rate about this I see that it’s happening subtle the be is there it’s subtle

Though back into the email there were nights where I would stay up after he went to bed to watch TV that’s a problem we don’t go to bed without each other right there was a comma on that sentence it continues onward very very sudden stop on that

Like we are slamming on the brakes there are skid marks on the road right now there was one night where I just went and laid down in bed to watch TV and you were in the middle of doing something and you came into the room and due to past experiences and

BPD whatever the trigger was you thought that I was upset with you yep because that was out of our routine and I just went to go lay down and get comfortable in bed and watch TV and wait for you to come snuggle with me and after we had that conversation it is

Now drawn in the line we do not go to bed without each other right because from your perspective like I get it if I were in a bad head space or I was just really going through it in that moment and I walked into the into the living room

You’re not there you’re already in bed okay what did I do right that scenario like we we do you and I take that to an extreme by choice yeah we do and it’s a lot more than just that one triggering incident it it it maintains an intimacy

Between us by allowing us to have nighttime conversations and cuddle time and pillow talk and all that [ __ ] right but the um the bigger point in that is that had you been like babe I I don’t I don’t feel good or I’m tired I’m going

To go lay down I’ll see you in 30 minutes when you come to bed and then you were asleep it would have Faz me cuz I knew you were going to lay down the other time that you actually did that though you had fallen asleep on the

Couch and like we had guest over we were playing poker still I was like babe just go to bed go go lay down in the bedroom you want to be sleeping out here while there’s people here and you did those are the only two nights that since we’ve been

Together that we haven’t went to bed at the same time and that doesn’t mean that we go to sleep at the same time because I’ll lay awake until 2:00 in the morning yeah and on a very rare occasion I’m up until 2 o’clock in the morning there’s a

Comfort in it like a it’s it’s stability yeah Y no matter what kind of day it is no matter what the emotions are no matter what the conversation is oh man I’m getting emotional why because it means a lot to me I’m not going to cry I’m going to cry

I’m going to cry yeah yeah in me is constant chaos and feel like that medieval torture where I’m like all of my limbs are tied to a horse I’m being pulled in different directions and a lot of the time it’s just like [ __ ] when is it going to

Be quiet in here I think they call that drawn and quartered drawn and quartered I think that’s right that makes sense cuz it’s four pieces that uh that whole situation I mean you create that routine and that stability and then things aren’t the same when somebody goes on

Vacation or if there’s a death in a family and somebody’s got to go and you don’t go or there’s a sickness you know what I mean like I I’d imagine uh my biological just had a part of his lung removed and he’s you know he’s in his

70s but he um you know he has cancer and his wife has been keep giving me updates but I would imagine that she’s either staying at the hospital with him or like having [ __ ] melt Downs at home at night cuz he’s not there they’ve been together for so long yeah you know it’s

Crazy to think about you’re going to miss those things one day take advantage of them while you got them don’t don’t overlook it or think that it’s you know begrudgingly having to go to bed together or it’s a minuscule thing in your guys’s life and of course there are

Couples out there who one’s nocturnal and one isn’t and if that works for you guys and you’re happy I’m glad it works for you guys and you’re happy before people get super pissed pissed off in the comments a pissed off anyways well the continuation of that oh did you have

More you could be like I like peanut butter and they’re going to be like Nutella is better yeah I’m allergic to peanut butter how inconsiderate of you right not my fault you have an inferior immune system peanut butter is so good it really changes the texture of our morning

Shakes yep the continuation of that sentence was but what I was really doing was sitting in my living room crying for a few hours and then going going to bed and let me guess you got mad at him for it or there’s a builtup resentment of he

Doesn’t care right I’m willing to bet if he even [ __ ] knew that that was the case we’ve talked about so I cry a lot I uh I don’t I don’t know why that’s just how my body processes all emotion doesn’t matter if it’s Joy or anger I’m [ __ ] crying about

It and I there are times I’ve cried you have no idea it’s been a thing because this is a m mess right and and when I need that pillar of support even if it’s ugly I will unleash it in front of you yeah but you tell me yeah this isn’t

Your fault or this is your fault yeah and those conversations are hard when it’s your fault they’re uncomfortable conversations and vice versa when it’s my fault I know it’s not fun for you to go hey babe you did this and it made me feel like a piece of [ __ ] yeah

Because we know it’s never the other person’s intention to make us feel that way right yeah it’s never it’s never malice intent yeah so and even if there is a reaction of defense or getting upset or anger because that’s not what I meant to do it’s a reaction out of I

Can’t believe I’ve hurt you I’m so sorry do you guys believe that your person is actually out to hurt you right like when you take things personal if you’re having a conversation and something is said and it hurts you or you feel a certain way about it do you really

Believe their intent is to hurt your feelings because if if you believe that like if you truly believe that it says a lot about your relationship it does like doesn’t that tell you like hey maybe I should get the [ __ ] out of here like this is not safe for me yeah my person

Wants to make me feel like [ __ ] or wants to harm me MH I I don’t get it I I really don’t and I got to be honest I also don’t think that there’s a huge need for a back and forth in all of that

[ __ ] like if you if I was like babe you did XYZ and it made me feel like XYZ and and I would prefer it if you didn’t do that anymore and you’re like cool I I didn’t realize that I did that or didn’t realize that it hurts you the way that

It is and I’m going to try to do better we don’t need to continue talking I said what I needed to say you you processed and said what you needed to say and like we can now work on the change well there’s an acknowledgement in it I think

The acknowledgement is a big component to that it’s not just cring yeah the acknowledgement in it I’ve also recognized within myself as an very emotional creature when I come to you about something and it really was just like an emotional reaction or a trauma triggered reaction I feel stupid why

Embarrassed or like I’m ashamed of myself because I should know better than that this growth has to happen I know logically yeah you everybody carries that baggage like it’s very hard to let all that [ __ ] go and not relive those past experiences with with future people

Like it’s not easy but that falls back on that do you really believe that your person is out to hurt you because if if you do shouldn’t be in that relationship ship you know that living in the mindset of my person’s out to get me is a self-imposed fight or flight yeah like

When you think about it because relationships start because there’s love there so what’s changed I would say there’s multiple factors to that it’s people getting into relationships the [ __ ] before finding out it is uh holding on to grudges it is imposing trauma onto the other person

Lot of things lot of lot of things I think it’s people having an idea of somebody and then once that illusion that self-imposed illusion is broken you’re just treating me how everybody else in my life has treated me yeah instead of actually seeing the person for who they actually are

Removing the rose-colored glasses and going maybe this isn’t for me did all that make sense MH than a lot of people just need to to spend more time with their person before they really dedicate settle down yeah yeah because there’s how much do you how much you know about

Yourself you never been in a fight like how much do you really know about your person like you know you guys been you know doing the horizontal Tango and life has been really good because you’ve got you know sex on your brain and you’re in lust what happens when that in lust

Wears off and you you realize that you have a person that has no sustenance to them or they’re just a shallow individual and like their entire world revolves around attention on the Internet or books control right or control right it could be anything yeah and like you think that you’ve got a

Person that wants to like share life with you and instead they just want you around for some some bedtime versus or a step up right yeah or even a level up right you just I don’t know I think a lot of that comes down to people not not

Doing their due diligence in the beginning we say all the time that I’m always finding out new little things about you and it always gets me super excited those are the kind of things that I want to find out about you right I don’t want to been in love with you

This whole time and then all of a sudden I find out I just had an illusion of you and I’m starting to find out things about you that I don’t like right what a shitty relationship to have it’s better to find those things out before you move

In with somebody right back into the email y oh wait no before we get back into the email you said that there are times where that that long drawn out conversation doesn’t have to be had right outside of situations of not feeling like a priority or not feeling

Important I recognize that I am mentally unstable right like there are certainly situations where like I’m chewing on it for 3 days and I recognize this is pointless right and I’m not I’m not chewing on it because I’m like o [ __ ] this like I can’t believe that this

Happened I’m chewing on it because I’m like is this really like a logical thing does this really require a conversation or is this something where I can go oh gosh being mentally unstable and being aware that you’re mentally unstable is a lot of hard work because now you are in

Charge of yourself and you are accountable for your actions and you recognize that whatever Fallout may happen is because of what you did or said or whatever happened so it’s okay to sit on something it doesn’t have to be discussed in the moment that it happened and if it is a conversation

That happens a week after the fact you can preface with hey I’ve really thought about this and I might be overthinking it or I might be overreacting I just need your opinion on the situation so that way it’s not a rehash of something or it’s not a why didn’t you bring it up

In the moment I’ve been living life like everything is okay you said majority of the time the first thing you want to say is the stupidest thing it is yeah so take a step back and think about things I stopped telling him how I felt because it wasn’t important to him if you

Believe that why you why are you there if you believe that you don’t matter you’re not important to him right why have you stayed real question it is I think that sentence how I would have phrased that was I stopped telling him how I felt because from my perspective it’s not

Important to him unless he said I don’t give a [ __ ] about how you feel it is not important to me right you can’t say that it’s not important to him there’s a real possibility that he just doesn’t give a [ __ ] right right it could be that they’ve been having combat in the home

All the [ __ ] time and they’re how did you word it the other day that their common ground is a [ __ ] Battleground yeah you get tired of that [ __ ] and then you start finding ways to make yourself happy and they’re married maybe he doesn’t want to lose half of his [ __ ]

And he’s just truly plating the whole scenario to not lose his life doesn’t want to pay alimony while she’s with somebody else right could be a whole lot of things however I don’t believe that to be the case or she would have been like he told me my feelings don’t matter

Right right I think the real problem here is that they’re not communicating effectively she’s not able to tell him in a way that he understands and he’s not able to to maybe comprehend what she’s saying right or maybe she’s not saying it at all cuz if you’re beating

Around the bush and you’re not being direct you’re not really saying [ __ ] the whole point of that is you can have two people trying to say the same thing and one person can be like three bullet points to get the point across and somebody else can be emotional

Talking about well you know when I was 3 years old I saw a balloon pop and it made me feel sad so I feel sad and you know you bring in a whole bunch of other [ __ ] that has nothing to do with anything instead of just going here’s

What we’re facing right now how do we overcome this problem and if you don’t if you can’t do that you have to say that yeah like I am so confused in my thoughts right now I don’t know what the issue is do you think that comes down to

A safety you like a safety in the other person to be able to talk or like could be could be a safety could be knowing that your person’s not going to you know lash out at you it could be that you know they’re not going to leave because

You’re going through it I I think that safety or security is an overall statement that describes all of that yeah I would say safety because there are times where I come to you and like I have to tell you something that made me feel a certain way and I’m [ __ ]

Sobbing about it but I know the conversation has to be had right and I know at the oh [ __ ] me I know at the end of the day you’re not going to leave so yeah I would say there’s definitely a safety in it I know that I could be at my worst in

Front of you and you’re not going to hate me for it you’re not going to tell me I’m being a [ __ ] or right that I’m being overly emotional I would say a comfort there’s a comfort in it well I asked about the security thing because if you can’t tell

Your person the way you’re feeling because you’re insecure you think they’re going to leave you think they’re going to lash out or you’re in fear of your safety then you can’t have those conversations you have to beat around the bush to try to leave hints to talk

To them to get them to that’s not a situation that you want to stay in isn’t the whole point of having a person to to be a team and like to be able to work together and problem solve and overcome things to actually enjoy your life to

Fill each other’s Cup right why would you want to live in in that common Battleground I I wouldn’t want to live like that I I don’t like drama I don’t like stress I I I will cut people out of my life real [ __ ] quick when they start bringing [ __ ] around me I

Don’t have time for that [ __ ] I would much rather have a [ __ ] meaningless conversation just to have a meaningless conversation than to have somebody bring up a bunch of nonsense to try to like V for that energy I’m not doing that find go [ __ ] to a hair salon and get into

The gossip of that [ __ ] if you need that don’t come around here with that I’m not doing that what does that say about the person who’s feeling this way right because I don’t care if there’s a disruption for four hours or if you get mad at me or frustrated with

Me and like you have to calm down from that if the conversation means that our relationship is going to improve even if the Fallout might be messy at the beginning of it I’m willing to go through that mess and clean it up together to find a solution right

Because our relationship is worth that to me it’s dependent on it yeah if we can’t have these conversations this is not going to last that’s what it comes down to all of the people who are who are in marriages if they can’t find a way to communicate to to their partner

And find common ground and start working to improve themselves their marriage will fail and that’s a choice because you saw it coming and you chose not do anything about it we’ve both had failed marriages I’m not speaking because I saw it in a [ __ ] movie I’ve lived it you

Have to be able to talk to people and if you can’t if you can’t Converse and them comprehend and like have that equal exchange of information to start improving or want to improve once you get that information you’re done at that point you’re there’s not even a point in

Trying yeah so if she is with somebody who flat out it’s like hey I don’t give a [ __ ] about you we’re married because we’re married you want to divorce you file that [ __ ] like that that’s a whole different conversation I I just I I I prefer as naive as it sounds to believe

That that’s not the case for most people I I would like to believe that most people get married because they’re in love and because they want to be there for each other and want to grow and evolve together somewhere right and struggle together and somewhere along the lines they just realize that that’s

Not that’s not it it’s not worth it for them I think that that becomes a selfish mindset I agree it’s no longer about us it’s about me now yeah and maybe he’s maybe that’s who he is yeah back into the email yeah cuz we’re like a half a

Paragraph in I confined it in someone for a week about what was happening after a week of talking I got drunk at a hotel one night and invited him over why were you at a hotel that’s premeditated that is definitely premeditated that is did you guys get into an argument you’re

Like I’m going to go stay at a hotel room for the night yeah that’s very were you on a business trip I am never in a hotel without you right there right and there are reasons that people go to hotels I’m not saying that there’s not

But for that to be a thing where they were being emotionally invested in one another’s lives for a week and now she just happens to be at a motel and gets drunk and reaches out I I don’t think that this is just a in the moment I’m

Drunk let me try to get him to come over kind of thing I think that this has been a thought that’s been playing out this entire time oh he understands yeah he says he would never do that he makes me feel good about myself for the first

Time in a decade right like there would also be H there would also have to be an act of Interest right shown because I’m not confiding in somebody and then hitting up hitting them up there has to be some sort of flirting some sort of oh

My husband doesn’t make me feel this way right and it has to be verbalized it has to be matched energy we both agreed it shouldn’t have happened and I truly felt awful I was trying to figure out how to tell my husband before the holidays in our vacation he took you on

Vacation it doesn’t sound like somebody who doesn’t doesn’t like their person yeah hour vacation I wonder if she picked out where they were going I don’t know cuz if she picked out where they were going like by definition her opinion on where they’re going was a priority to him yeah that

Matters I became friends with one of his friend’s girlfriends who was doing something similar to her boyfriend oh so now there’s a whole lot of [ __ ] going on it’s not just her boyfriend this is your man’s friend yeah I confided in her but I started getting suspicious about her after she

Accidentally said my husband’s name in a sexual context one night and tried to play it off so I started lying to her about everything and made it seem like I was having a full fledged Affair I even got the guy I had slept with in on the

Whole thing trying to cover it up I why why why would you do that cuz you know that she’s going to go back and tell him if she’s already making sexual jokes so now you’re intentionally doing [ __ ] to hurt your husband right to try to get

One over on this girl I don’t understand the mindset in this you could be putting your energy into developing a business you could be putting your energy into fixing your [ __ ] marriage yep but instead you or orchestrated this whole fake Affair and got the guy that you

Slept in was not a fake Affair she’s still talking to the dude you’re right she is still talking to the dude there’s nothing fake about it she s slept with him you’re right it may have been a booty call one a one-time thing but he is still very much invested in her life

Emotionally CU he’s he’s now caught up in all of this yep I’m [Laughter] exhausted reading that I am exhausted I cannot imagine the conversations that had to be had I know that we [ __ ] and we both regret it but let’s pretend that we’re still doing it so that I can get

This girl to admit that she wants to sleep with my husband because she’s already cheating on her boyfriend so here’s what we’re going to lie about this is what we’re going to talk about so that way we can’t get caught in the fact that it’s a lie because she’ll

She’ll find out that we’re faking the affair yeah they started their friendship based on the fact that they were both cheating on their boyfriend or she’s cheating on her husband and the other girl’s cheating on her her boyfriends birds of a feather flock together how is this a real email I

Really feel like sometimes people just write [ __ ] to send into us so that we would read it on the podcast yeah cuz you don’t believe that somebody would actually do this I don’t believe any of that yeah if you were cheating on your husband if you were cheating on me MH

And you met one of my best friend’s girls and it’s his girlfriend would you run over there and be like yo I’m cheating on my husband oh my God girl I’m cheating on my man I wonder how she found out that girlfriend’s cheating on her boyfriend like yeah because when

You’re married that you know people who do that [ __ ] are not they’re not in the open about it like that’s people try to hide that [ __ ] I I’m here for the rest of the email but I think it’s all [ __ ] okay about a week later she

Snuck behind my back and told my husband big [ __ ] shock there a minute or so later he confronted me I stayed silent for what felt like forever until he just said say yes or no just tell me the truth I said yes and he ended things right there some people ain’t about that

[ __ ] sh mhm no matter the context whether you you slept with him six times or you slept with him one time it’s the fact that you did it before you continue all of the effort and all of the nonsense that has happened in this email up until this point could have

Been avoided if she simply would have learned how to talk to her husband yeah and that’s a whole lot easier than all of the energy she’s invested over the weeks or months that all of this has transpired we make we make choices in our lives and then we have to live with

The consequences of those choices back into the email I take full responsibility and accountability for what I did good he’s already filed for divorce I know it’s over since we’re now getting a divorce but if there were a way that I could have saved my marriage how would

I you would have told him you would have learned you would have talked to him in the beginning you would have however that played out even if you didn’t just saying I don’t feel like a priority to you because of X Y and Z right and then

He hits you back with you are a priority to me then the response is you’re telling me that your actions don’t show me that and these are the actions that I’m paying attention to right because you’ve given him a a blueprint of what you need we’re not [ __ ] mind readers

If I’m going through something and I’m I’m expecting you to just know what it is and I’m getting mad at you because you can’t read my mind that’s [ __ ] dumb right and everyone does that [ __ ] well they should know you know what you did obviously I [ __ ] don’t because I

Thought life was great and now you you’re feeling like you’re not a priority and I’m planning vacations for us and buying new vehicles for you to passenger princess in and you know what I mean like so what is it you were unfulfilled in your marriage something

Was lacking and instead of trying to fix it with your husband you created a new relationship because that was easier right there’s a whole lot less emotional baggage there there was a whole lot less resentment a whole lot less learned behavior and you didn’t have to learn to

Communicate with that person you could just [ __ ] them and then go on about your life did you did you feel like a priority to that man in the hotel room while you were drunk did that feel that need that you were missing because now you’re getting divorced from it I I it

Is what it is you did it right he he she told on you it’s been it’s been had so now you have a decision that you can make moving forward because you’re not going to get your husband back it sounds like he’s done and even if you could get

Him back it sounds like it’s not really worth it because to you he wasn’t he wasn’t making you a priority to him right and he was a problem it was him right according into the email with him he was the problem so if that’s the case

Why would you have wanted to make your marriage work because he wasn’t willing to change the fix the things to make it so that you were a priority or is it really that you guys just didn’t know how to talk to each other right I I this

Is one of those things that I I know the emailer is writing in just to get like a future scenario in the event that this happens how do I avoid these things from happening you do that by being clear and concise when speaking to your person and if they don’t understand and you’re

Saying something and you’re not able to get across to them stop don’t get frustrated don’t get angry be like hey I don’t know how to make you understand what I’m trying to convey can you repeat back what I’m saying to you so we can try to make sure that I understand that

You’re getting it we’ve talked about that for over a year now that’s that’s the answer to that and you have to sometimes find 15 different ways to say something until somebody [ __ ] gets it I need to see changed Behavior an apology doesn’t mean [ __ ] anything to

Me and that’s me not talking about like them people can say sorry all you want I don’t give a [ __ ] that you’re sorry you’re sorry cuz you got caught or because of whatever that you’re going through there’s no real remorse there if there was remorse there when things were

Happening you would have stopped right like this makes me feel not good probably shouldn’t be doing it that’s where remorse comes in so instead of saying I’m sorry I want to be like yo I did this realize after the fact that I [ __ ] up I’m I’m going correct that

Action be cool I appreciate you owning that correct it it’s it’s like that in business friendships relationships whatever family that’s how I operate I don’t want to hear the lip service you can lie real easy with your mouth your actions are a whole different ball game so back into the email I’m currently

Getting back on my own feet and trying to figure out life by myself but I’m still making some pretty daring choices that could result in jeopardizing my health I’m trying to get into therapy to help I’m letting him feel his pain right now because I know he needs it and try

My best to give him space but I so badly just want to call him and tell him to come back home why you weren’t a priority yeah that doesn’t make sense to me you you sat in your living room crying after he went to bed right multiple times because your feelings aren’t important

To him you want the comfortability back is it is that what she wants or is she realizing that she actually had a pretty [ __ ] dope life and that the intimacy has fallen into like a roommate phase and she wasn’t getting what she needed yeah could have been I believe that we

Could work through this and get it right this time but I also feel like he’s been looking for an out and this was the perfect opportunity what do you mean looking for an out that’s another thing that’s your feeling of it though right because I mean he obviously initiated

The divorce MH if that’s really what he wanted to do 6 months ago or six years ago he would have initiated the divorce yeah it’s not like the the outcome is going to be any different unless you had a prenuptual agreement that says if you cheat you get nothing and you signed it

The outcome is going to be the same he’s going to owe you Al he’s going to get [ __ ] taken over the coals in the court system it’s going to be a whole thing so is it that you think he’s been wanting it out or he’s been waiting for the relationship to get

Worse to leave you or is this another opportunity you to blame him for everything right it’s real easy for us to sit on the opposite side of this email and like throw all these what if scenarios out there but a lot of this doesn’t make sense yeah why do you

Believe that you guys can work through this on his perspective of things so she says she doesn’t feel heard she doesn’t feel like a priority harboring emotions will eventually leak out into reality if you have been miserable to be around for the last 6 months because you’re feeling

This way and you can’t communicate your emotions and on top of now you’ve cheated on him he probably doesn’t know what reality is you could have been cheating on him for that whole six months yeah doesn’t matter what the girl said doesn’t matter what you say you’ve been out of whack you’ve

Shown him that you don’t know how to communicate your feelings you’ve shown him that you will look for the easier route when it comes to I’m not a priority to him I’m going to vent to somebody else about it specifically another man I have a huge problem in that of

Itself I don’t believe in negatively bitching about your partner to anybody specifically the opposite gender right therapists therapists pastors that’s it I’m going to hit you with something different in the beginning of that you said if you’ve been 6 months of being depressed and going through all of that

Feeling things and that’s your reality mhm do you think that somebody wants to be around somebody for 6 months who’s [ __ ] miserable no right like we all have our own demons to deal with every [ __ ] day and like it’s one thing to like be around someone for a little

While to try to pick them up but we got to worry about our own [ __ ] so like I’m going to be here for a little while to try to cheer you up and when I realize you’re not going to cheer up I’m going to go about my life right because you’re

Making that choice at that point right it is a choice read Choice Theory Dr William glass phenomenal book but I’ve always believed it’s a choice you can sit around and feel sorry for yourself or you can you can get get up and we can go do

Something like we can start trying to to actively pull ourselves out of this mess that we’re in I don’t want to be around depressed people if any of my friends were depressed people that I truly love I would be there for them for a day or a

Week try to do whatever I can to help them out and if I realize that my efforts are for not I’m not reaching out to them two weeks later it’ll be a mental check-in on Facebook like hey man how’s life M oh you you know I’m still

Still depressed that sucks dude I’m here if you need me I’m going to go about my life like I’m not going to try to to cater to that there are a lot of people who use that mentality for attention they do because it works right so if if

That was the situation in that household for 6 months where she was up all night crying and he had no [ __ ] idea and she was just off towards him and common ground’s battleground of course that’s how things are going to feel you’ve created that reality at what point did he not go I

Can tell tell you’re going through it I know something’s wrong with you why don’t you talk to me about it at that point did you talk to him about it did you have it out or did you go I just need to figure it out on my own nothing

Nothing’s wrong because if somebody comes to you and goes look this this is not okay we’re not okay I can tell something’s [ __ ] up talk to me and you go don’t worry about it nothing I I’ve got it you’ve killed that Lifeline you’ve shown them that you don’t give a

[ __ ] about them enough to let them know what’s going on or you’re So Into You that they don’t matter in the moment moment and if that’s your person you’ve created the reality that you get to live in now especially if you’re miserable for the next 2 or 3 weeks and then you

Come to your person okay here’s what’s really been going on and then you lay it out and they’re like you couldn’t have told me that three weeks ago we could have gotten through all of this right cuz now you’ve made my life hell for the

Last month instead of this is the two of us it’s not just you anymore yep pull your head out of your ass let’s go we got [ __ ] to do there are people who do experience bouts of depression for a month yeah right six years you can experience that depression while

Simultaneously saying look I’m really going through it I don’t know what’s wrong with me right now but once I figure it out I’ll let you know right until then I I’m sorry I’m like this thank you for being patient yeah but you can also try not to be a depressive mess

Right right get up take a shower make sure your hygiene’s in order go to work try to watch comedy movies go on dates still try to be present in your relationship or your marriage uh this is the last of the email I don’t know what

To do I’m lost I want to save my marriage I want him it’s always been him and it always will be what do I do contradicts the entire first part of the email it it really does you wouldn’t be my everything if I wasn’t yours it’s e

And flu right it’s always been him and it always will be I say that about you you’re my home yeah if you were pushing me off to the side and hey babe next Friday night can we go on a date no I want to go out with my friends okay but

It’s been like 3 months since we’ve gone out and done something can we plan something for Saturday no I’m doing something Saturday night I get the message at that point I don’t know you’re right it is very contradictory I would move on yeah I would I would accept this as a

Learning lesson accept my fuckups in this and note in the future that’s not to that’s not the way to handle it sometimes you or the other person person is just meant to be a learning lesson people come and go yeah I I don’t know they’re married you know and I know

That they’re filing for divorce because she cheated and all of that [ __ ] and like you know I I believe that you can have a new relationship with the same person if you’re willing to do the work yeah but if you were willing to do the work you would have done it before it

Got to the point of divorce papers right like what is the Joanie Mitchell song you don’t know what you’ve gotten until it’s gone right like you felt like your husband didn’t care about you and you weren’t a priority and then at the end the email you’re like he’s my world so

Which one is it he doesn’t give a [ __ ] about you and you’re not a priority and you just worship the ground he walks on and want him back because of it like that doesn’t make any sense yeah you need to learn to communicate and you need to take responsibility for all this

[ __ ] yeah your failure in all of this is that you don’t know how to talk to your husband and that you guys can’t have a a proper back and forth that comes to conflict resolution because once things get resolved and if things are good and intimate and loving we want to make you

Men want to make women happy we want we want to make our partners happy we want to serve we want to make sure that you have everything that you need so in the event that you’re happy and life is good why do you think the lustful courting phase men shower women with gifts

Because we feel good you guys make us feel like we [ __ ] matter in those moments you’re you’re checking on us every day and you’re complimenting our beards and like you smell good I like them new shoes oh you noticed my shoes right six years into a relationship man

Today was a long day yeah it was a long day for me too the kids blah blah blah blah blah cool I guess I don’t [ __ ] matter then so much for being able to have a conversation with the person who says that they’re supposed to be my

Teammate in this really need a [ __ ] shoulder to cry on on the moment right because every time I bring to you that this is a problem or I’m having this you come to me with your problems how about you come to me with your problems and

Then tomorrow I get to tell you about my problems and you just listen right like there are things that you can do and Implement to to just make it so that you have the ability to talk to each other sometimes it’s not about you right sometimes it’s not about them sometimes

We just need to be able to [ __ ] talk to somebody and if you can’t talk to your person where you going opposite sex another person to validate the emotions that you’re feeling to tell you hey I would never do that to you you deserve so much better

Until you’re [ __ ] drunk in a hotel room laying in in another man’s arms like I I I I I’m not like if you guys have been a fan of the podcast and listen to this I have been that person so I’m not speaking out of

My neck like I know that Despair and the actions that follow but it’s a choice all of it and they’re active decisions and all it takes is that one little bit of feel good when everything else in your life feels like [ __ ] for you to gravitate towards that

Feelgood right cuz nobody wants to feel bad if there was a magic moment that could make everyone feel great all the [ __ ] time they would do it but we would then take feeling great for granted and become depressed that everything is good right anyways I I think that if you really

Wanted to save your marriage the best thing that you can do is learn how to to communicate and not throw shade and not make it about his problems because you had a hand in this and you can be as mad at him as you want to be when it comes

Down to it these were your choices you were the one that chose to stay up all night and cry instead of talking to your husband you were the one who chose to cheat right and and I’m sure he had his hand in it I don’t think that he’s blameless in any of

This but you’re not responsible for him you’re responsible for you y how about how about even having that conversation because of the things that were going on in the marriage in the way that I was feeling and alone and depressed and not a priority the moment

Someone made me a priority I made the decision to cheat on you right because then he knows like hey I could have been giving her a little bit more attention I should should have saw the signs that she was staying up until 2:00 in the morning crying on the

Couch or at least wasn’t coming to bed with me like she used to right like you both have accountability in this you both could have read the signs and had the conversations MH these emails annoy the [ __ ] out of me sometimes yeah let’s do one more we have two hours until we

Have to meet up with Aunt all right this is a short one marriage got complicated it happens I love your content I have a story I want to share and would love feedback from the both of you okay so my husband works full-time I stay home with our children we’ve known

Each other for 16 years and dated in high school we’ve been back together since 2018 okay so that’s not 16 years she said they known each other since 16 for oh we’ve known each other okay yeah okay and that they dated in high school and then got back together in 2018 gotcha

We’ve always been open and honest with each other and the only times he had hasn’t been have always been major red flags high school was cheating when we first got back together it was him and his ex tagging each other in some wild crap okay so that’s the end of that when

We first got back together it was him and his ex tagging each other in some wild crap what are they tagging each other in tagging each other probably in like Facebook photos or some [ __ ] I don’t know but is it like karma sutra or are they like maybe they had a crazy sex

Life and they are reminiscent about it I I I don’t know the because there’s no details there there’s no way for us to know it would be all speculative this is why we ask for details definitely need details let let me ask you this right

Let’s say you and I knew each other in high school which we didn’t right we didn’t even live in the same area but it let’s say that we knew each other in high school and we dated and I [ __ ] around because young men do stupid [ __ ]

Right we do young young men think with our dicks STS to it um there are young men out there who definitely are more involved than than most but we’ll just say that for the most part that’s pretty Prett common in young men you knew the cheating happened you got back together

You guys have lived an entire life apart not in a relationship where he’s been with other people and then all of a sudden you get back in do you think that all those previous relationships are just going to fall off because you guys now have something like hey we’re in a

Relationship now the rest of the world’s got to go away that’s not how that works that’s earned yeah the deletion of of social media and the removing of people who make you uncomfortable like that is an earned place right it’s not just given because you decided you want to

Have a romantic intimate relationship ship with somebody if you courted and things were getting serious during the courting phase and you were like hey I don’t appreciate you doing those things to with that person because you and I are now talking like I’m trying to make

This last like I see a future with you and I need you to reciprocate that that’s a different conversation than you going hey what are you doing tonight oh I don’t know what are you doing come over and now all of a sudden you guys have done the the horizontal Tango and

You’re doing the thing and you expect them to just change their entire life around for you because you guys had sex that’s not how that works there’s a difference between having a casual sexual relationship and building your future with somebody you can’t build if you don’t have a foundation so where’s

The foundation at did you take the time to court to do those things did you give him the opportunity to correct the behavior while he was doing those things hey I noticed that you do this and it kind of bothers me and here’s why it bothers me I would appreciate it if you

If you slowed the [ __ ] down on that I’m just going this is just who I am you’re going to have to live with it cool you’re telling me everything that I need to know I’m glad that we got this out of the way 3 months into the relationship

You have a great life I’m going to go find somebody a little bit more uh into me somebody a little bit more worthy of my of my my being here that’s the courting phase that’s why we do those things not hey swipe right what’s up girl oh you got girls that are friends

You can’t be friends with them anymore oh you’re right let me just delete every girl I’ve ever met come on is he right for tagging people in weird assump like we’re assuming k mutra photos as you said um or like bondage [ __ ] I don’t we don’t know that’s all speculative right

It could have been past memories it could have been yeah could have been a whole lot of things because there’s no details yeah they didn’t elaborate right but I’m willing to bet if you just had the conversation like hey this makes me feel a certain way if he was really

Caring about you he’d be like I won’t do that no more because I don’t want you to feel that way because ultimately isn’t that what it is MHM trying to to not have that Common Ground be a Battleground that’s going to be our next t-shirt guys oh yeah yeah why would you

Want your your common ground to be a Battleground I’m pretty stoked about that crazy are the things that we think of sometimes back into the email yep now as of roughly July August of 2023 my husband made friends with a female co-worker and I knew nothing

About it till my gut wouldn’t leave me alone and I went through his phone towards the end of September beginning of October and found tons of messages between them I view that as a form of cheating uh I would think that it would matter the messages right if they’re talking about

Work or they’re talking about a TV show right Mutual hobby but she knew nothing about this woman I have a problem with that if you had women in your life that I had absolutely no idea about that would be a big blow up for me

I would not be able to contain my mental illness on that yeah do you have women in your life I don’t know about no I don’t have anybody in my life that you don’t know about but that’s the the the reason Reon that that I’m I’m pausing

Here is because there are a lot of things that happen in my day today that I don’t ever tell you about right and it’s not because I don’t want to talk to you about them it’s because out of everything that we’ve got going on that doesn’t matter right so if we hired a

New person at the shop and they they were a Game of Thrones die hard and we could have conspiracy theory conversations about it right this is just a for instance obviously I’m I don’t even really care about Game of Thrones anymore but that was my big

Nerdom for a long time and that’s what the conversations were about and it was fan theories and we were sending each other [ __ ] you know internet crazy whatever and that was the entire premise of the conversations and I forgot to tell you that the new person that is employed by

Us is a game of throne fans and that’s literally the only thing that we ever talk about I could see how that would get overlooked because that doesn’t matter to me that’s a a fandom it’s something that I can relate to a person that I work with MH it it’s not a big

Deal but I also know that like see that’s difficult because our our work situations are so entwined right you would know anybody new that came into the shop if they’re working in a major corporation and there’s 2,000 employees there is he supposed to tell the person every single time a new woman

Comes through the department like I think if they exchange phone numbers it should be a conversation or SnapChat or inst okay so now that that creates a different conversation because a phone number is different than a messenger service is it I think so I think that both are wrong because I think that

Messenger services are the new text messaging but because of my old age there is an intimacy to a phone number right people have a whole lot of access to me through Discord patreon or emails there there are ways to get in contact with me if somebody really

Wanted to do it but the people who have my phone number are very slim so that’s a different conversation but through messenger services people become friends with people they work with all the time they’re not friends they’re co-workers and it’s ways for people to stalk each other and you know you have those

Internet friend or the work friendships until they leave or somebody quits and then those work friendships die they’re not real friendships they’re they’re acquaintances but I see that [ __ ] happen all the time especially in the tattoo industry people become super close until one of them goes to another shop and

They hate each other yeah where the [ __ ] talking starts I don’t know I think I think the how of it matters I also think that if he got super close to this person that’s different than having a single convers ation about the same thing repeatedly right if she went

Through his phone and it was all Star Trek right that was all they talked about it’s a very different conversation than if they were talking about other things I don’t know women are [ __ ] sneaky if you had an interest that I was not interested in and a woman slid into

Your DMs and that was all of your conversations I would have a problem with that why because women will take an in whenever they can get one I I would definitely that would upset me 100 % if you were having full-fledged conversations three to four times a week

And it’s been happening for six months and I have no idea this woman exists I would have a problem with that 100% what I I’m just glad that I’m not in that situation I I don’t care enough about people for that to be a thing yeah I I

Really don’t like I don’t I don’t have a lot of friends I I’m I I think that people are so superficial and self-centered and lacking that like I don’t create new bonds with people it’s [ __ ] hard to become my friend friend mhm it’s hard to become anything to

Me it it just is because I I I believe everyone has an ulterior motive and like I don’t trust people so like I I don’t know I’m kind of a dick yeah I don’t need new friends like I don’t I don’t know and I don’t really

Have a whole lot of thing in common with women so like even in that like when people are like oh he’s a misogynist I kind of am I don’t like women I don’t have anything in common with you guys oh girl your hair and nails I don’t give a

[ __ ] I don’t know what to tell you mhm this new chicken alfredo sauce I don’t cook my wife does that I don’t know what to tell you you want to share recipes she makes the world’s greatest mashed potatoes hit her up and I want to talk

To you you really think that yeah I love your mashed potatoes thank you somebody on patreon actually asked for those uh your recipe for mashed potatoes so you might have to do a cooking video of that I I don’t I I just don’t I don’t get it

So this this comes down to and if he’s hiding it mhm because he is that’s a problem right okay okay let’s let’s do this um Jamie and Sonia who live in Cape Coral are clients of the tattoo studios that I I silently cheerlead for okay hard J Jamie

And Sonia are car people right and anytime she gets a new Mercedes in the dealership she sends me a picture of it got this new AMG whatever right got the Roadster in because she knows that there are cars that I will probably buy and it’s a car

Sale it’s something that the four of us have in common um we’ve actually read some of text messages from Jamie on the podcast so we have that somewhat Rapport I’m not talking to Sonia on a regular basis what was I talking about before all of that just happened we’ve read

Text messages from them on the podcast read text messages from Jamie on the podcast and like there is that back and forth in the event that that went anything further with Sonia to me other than like the random car thing or hey we just bought this new house check this out right

Mhm there would be if like in the event that there was like engaging conversations and I was getting excited about their life I would tell you about it because I I would either be wanting to go down there and hang out with them or trying to cheerlead them something

Relevant but those those conversations are so few and far between that when I get those messages from her or from him I don’t go hey I just got a message from so- and so about a car because it’s not really relevant right it it doesn’t dictate or change our life in any way

Shape or form so I I think that in the event that I’ll go back to the Star Trek analogy I was a big Star Trek person and so was she in a new Star Trek movie was coming out and we were talking about it and you were not a

Trekky would that be a problem because jimie is a friend of mine like okay I’m confused you mean Jamie or his wife his wife if she was a treky and I was a treky I’m not I don’t like Star Trek right but Jamie is my friend right but

If we were both super into Star Trek and a new movie was coming out and she wanted to talked to me about the movie did you see that new trailer blah blah blah and we had a back and forth for a week about it right and then it ended

Would that be a problem no that would I know about her that would not be a problem so then the issue is that that he didn’t tell her about the new girl that he’s talking to right if you came to me and was like Hey I met this chick

At the tattoo shop and she was really into yeah even then I would have a problem with that you shouldn’t be exchanging anything with any random strange woman oh I would have a problem with that yeah okay that’s get at that’s just I feel like that’s that’s marketing

You’re marketing yourself so are you thinking that do you think that men and women shouldn’t have relationships like men and women should not be friends if if if they’re in a relationship or married I think if a dude wants to have a female friend that he met randomly

Somewhere that the girlfriend or the wife needs to be introduced immediately and that has to be established of if we’re hanging out together my wife is going to be with me we’re never hanging out one-on-one and I mean privately there would have to be conversations between

The couple of I’m expecting you to shut down in appropriate conversations right so what if it was never an intent of hanging out what if it was just about Star Trek so okay so I’m I’m I’m only playing Devil’s Advocate right CU I know that this isn’t going to be a thing for

Us so this isn’t something that I have to worry about because anyways so in the event that I was at the shop and well Game of Thrones it because that was my nerdom yeah somebody was getting a house Stark tattoo and I was like yo that’s dope and we started talking about Arya

Stark and what the way she was in the book versus the show and we have this long drawn out fan Theory and we have these alternate World conversations that take like two hours and then I’m like two weeks later I get a a Facebook friend invite from said person right and

I accept it and they’re like yo did you see this and they send me a link to this thing and I’m like I’m married so this is just going to be a Game of Thrones conversation I’m not going to cross any other lines with you just know that like up front mhm and

Then I came to him was like Hey met somebody at the tattoo shop two weeks ago they were getting house Stark tattoo we had a conversation about Arya Stark and fan theories two weeks later they sent me an invite on Facebook this is what they sent me I’m about to [ __ ]

Deep dive to this nerd [ __ ] and I’m going to nerd hard so if I’m on my phone that’s why I’ve told them about you you everybody knows everything now is that a problem um logically no I am going to it will [ __ ] me up internally 100% it will

Because I know women I do not believe that I just don’t believe that all conversations will be Game of Thrones I don’t believe that at all at some point a woman will start to try to vent well what if what if okay so and I believe

That it won’t just stay Game of Thrones either I believe that the conversation would evolve because a relationship would be founded on that nerdom yeah and it could could go into video games it could go into to new movies it could go into a lot of things friendships are

Normally created over a a common interest common interest right it’s like that for everyone because that’s what you start talking to people about yeah um so that falls back on my original conversation or my original question do you think that men and women should not be friends of uh with the opposite sex

If they’re in a relationship yes okay I don’t have male friends right I mean I have two so I I don’t accept new friend requests from random men I don’t entertain conversations privately on Discord with random men that’s not going to happen because I am not going to put

Myself in a position to be accused of anything right I’m I’m just not willing to do that anybody is capable of cheating I agree anybody is capable of cheating I think under the right circumstances anybody would yeah I don’t care how moral High Ground they think they are MH under the right

Circumstances something could happen and they would break their own their own thought of who they are as a person yeah and I’m willing to bet that a lot of people have cheated and don’t realize that they cheated because it wasn’t physical right right yeah a whole different conversation though I’m glad

That you don’t entertain other men and and your DMs and [ __ ] yeah there’s a security in that for me because I don’t do I don’t do that [ __ ] either like there are people that I’ve known for a long time that I will talk to at random

Right but it’s like a check this out do you hear about this it’s not I don’t have ongoing dialogue with people right Jordan Jordan gets more of me than anyone I have in my life besides you yeah because I will intentionally message him and like hey man how’s it

Going how’s your foot like I am I am actively pursuing that friendship same thing with Brandon M um never thought I would say that right right uh but I am actively dude the stupid conversations that me and your ex have oh my [ __ ] god it’s fun though right because it’s stupid boy

Conversations that allows me to be a 15-year-old again anyways that’s a whole different conversation but I am pursuing those friendships and I will pursue those friendships even if they’re not reciprocating that because that friendship means something to me and people will be like well if they don’t

Respond back it’s not a friendship Maybe they’re busy or maybe they don’t think about it and when they do think about you they’re [ __ ] doing something else or they’re in bed and they don’t want to blow up your [ __ ] whatever if they’re responding right if they are choosing to

Respond to you they they are actually communicating with you right so I’m one of those people that will I will fight for a friendship until I feel like it’s just not a friendship anymore but I’m not doing that with other people all of my other conversations Dakota messages

To me five or six times a week and he gets responses I rarely will message him out of the blue because I don’t have time to maintain 10 friendships right so you know and if Dakota lived closer if he was in town it would be a totally

Different ball game it would be every other night hey what are you and Tasha doing let’s go to dinner like let’s go to the park let’s go shoot guns let’s go ride the bikes do something you know that’s a very different scenario because you’re here right so um I I think it it

Is important to recognize that neither one of us do those things and I think that it creates an intimacy between us because if there is something going on we’re not going to other people about it right even the boy [ __ ] that like the business [ __ ] that I get frustrated that

I can go to Jordan about I come to you about M the finance thing even though I know sometimes it’s just going to stress you out because of the amount of money that’s being moved around I could tell other people about it I tell you I could

Tell John Hogan about it and get advice Sound Advice I don’t do that so like it really does come down to making sure that your person is the priority over everything else yeah and I think that people forget that because you get to the point where you don’t have anything

To talk about anymore things aren’t new right it’s not exciting you’re not laughing at each other’s jokes because you’ve heard them all you’ve heard all the stories you know the life lessons like that’s why you grow right right and you get new hobbies and you find new

Jokes right which is why we’ve now created a new segment the Triple R the Triple R we when we did it we didn’t realize that we already had ruminations and rations and now we have reviews uh reviews relations and Recreations you nailed that so that we can actually have

Conversations about about hobbies and dates and how that can affect your relationship while reviewing the products that we’re we’re doing but that’s that’s not really relevant I just figured I’d plug something while we were talking about it yeah um I want to add on to your conversation I’m not

Delusional I may not be everybody’s cup of tea but a lot of men find me attractive yeah I I’m aware I see it on Instagram and Tik Tok constantly a lot of men find me funny and they they appreciate the fact that I serve you and they want that in another woman

So I don’t know I I know nine times out of 10 when a man reaches out to me it’s because he’s attracted to me yeah and I’m not building a relationship based off of you being attracted to me that in and of itself I feel as a betrayal to

You I could see that I’m good on that I I also take a lot of pride in the fact that I can be a safe place for you yeah yeah a lot of men stress about that [ __ ] they just have to accept that their girl is going to post on Instagram or show

Off everything on Facebook because girl power and she she should feel like she’s desired bro why is she not feeling desired by you whether that be your own actions or mental illness on her end or trauma on her end whatever the case may be you can save that CU that’s going to

Be the question at the end of the podcast okay that dips into that so let’s save save those thoughts babe I’m glad that you appreciate that I do that um it’s a sense of security in it it’s just one less thing that I have to worry

About if if you were on your phone constantly and it was angled in a way that I could and see it I I would start to feel suspicious right because it’s not who you are it’s not how we are it’s not how we are I don’t hide my phone

From you you have my phone in your hand a lot more than anyone that I’ve ever been with really I don’t care I don’t like it’s just I mean and let’s be honest when when you have that like that fear of them having your phone is because you’re doing foul [ __ ] yeah and

I I’ve done foul [ __ ] so I used to have that anxiety of only hold my phone for 3 seconds I’m waiting on a text message right right right that’s just proof that people can change though yeah I could never imagine contributing to the downfall of our Empire yeah yeah I mean

It’s nice to have what we have but all of this could be taken away and we could just build something new no I mean like our marriage and everything okay we said Empire so I I like I like to think that our marriage is an Empire

It’s put a lot of work into this and I agree it is a lot of work it is a lot of work it’s it’s worth it you know you you reap the rewards of your work you work because you want a desired outcome whether it’s a paycheck or a Happy Date

Night like you know what I mean so I agree that it’s work I will take whatever constructive criticism no matter how much it hurts my feelings to make sure I’m better for you tomorrow yeah yeah that’s our growth though it’s because we’re putting the relationship above our individual needs right back into the

Email she was the only coworker he had on a Snapchat for and the the only one I hadn’t heard about Snapchats for cheaters I I believe that 100% yep I use it to keep my family updated on photos you have Facebook you have a text message right your family’s got

Your phone number there’s shared photo albums there’s apps to download that everybody can see it’s I asked why he hit it and he said I figured you would think I was up to something so completely minimizing all my healing and growth up to this point I later found

Out wait wait wait is is he minimi okay okay so we know I later found out so we know that there’s more to that but is he actually and when people say that are they actually minimizing you or are they telling you how you’ve made them feel in

The past and you’re choosing to take it a different way right because he was very direct with what he said I figured you would you would feel a certain way about it or whatever I figured you would think I was up to something right so but

He was he he was up to something so there’s a guilt in that I’m not taking that away but is there a possibility that in the past you’ve seen him talking to another girl on Facebook book and blew your [ __ ] like you know blew a gasket over it mhm because you didn’t

Know about the situation and he didn’t learn from his behavior and he knew that it was going to create a problem so was he just being honest right and then you turned it into something that it wasn’t right okay it’s important to to own that

[ __ ] like in the past I have done X Y and Z and because I’ve done X Y and Z of course he’s going to feel like I’m going to do that again however I have done the growth I just wish he would see it right that’s a very different conversation

Than just minimizing all my work cuz you just went from actually being a victim to a victim mindset mhm right okay back into the email I later found out he lied about her dad living with her she’s by not lesbian I do not think he would cheat

But I feel like their relationship is highly inappropriate why she went trick-or-treating with him and my daughter while I was in the hospital following surgery that I almost went septic from and I didn’t know till after because he knew I’d be be mad okay so you just you okay so this is

Assuming that maybe she had a child before him because she said my child okay so go on what you’re saying you just turned something that happened into a you just victim mentality that entire conversation mhm you being sick and in the hospital and septic has nothing to

Do with the fact that he went trick-or-treating with that person this was not done to you you were unavailable the kid wanted to go trick-or-treating and he took the chick that that sent could have ended while I was in the hospital you didn’t even need to say that period they went trick-or-treating

Together M I didn’t go the fact that you were in the hospital and that you were sick and had septus is not part of the conversation you were you were trying to make us have a negative negativity bias towards him because you were hurt that that happened while you were going

Through that those two things don’t correlate I I I would think her being in the hospital does correlate cuz if she could have gone trick-or-treating he wouldn’t have invited her right but do you think he went well she’s almost septic in the hospital well I’m going to

Go ahead and just go get a girl to come in with me and the kid to go do the trick- or treat thing because how dare her get septic no I think it definitely he saw it as an opportunity to spend quality time with her that mhm but it

Had nothing to do with her being septic right because she could have been at church not celebrating Halloween and he would have had the same action oh I agree that hospital thing had nothing to do with the decision that he made unless he did it because she got sick

And he was salty about it right because that’s a cause and effect right that’s what I’m talking about okay I get that I I think her being in the hospital is still because I would ask why why weren’t you trick-or-treating why didn’t you go with them that doesn’t make sense

To me you stayed home by yourself no I was in the hospital okay well that makes sense as to why you’re not there I agree that doesn’t has no relation to him bringing her because she was almost septic in the hospital I do view it as

He saw it as an opportunity right people are going to take that conversation though and be like how dare him he’s such a piece of [ __ ] oh right yeah because it adds that negativity bias like you said the wo is me people people want to put an emphasis on me right me

Me me me me could it be that he like you said he saw an opportunity and he took it it could have been any opportunity for him to have spend time with that woman and he did here’s another question do you think that he brought your kid

Around this other woman if he was doing something foul do you think that your kid would have loyalty to this new chick and to him over you depending on how old the child was he might have thought that it would never have come up okay if that child’s not able to comprehend what’s

Happening oh this is just one of my friends yeah Daddy brought a friend yeah okay he might have thought like he could get away with it maybe there are people that do that there are people who will bring their children to cheat yeah people are

Wild how could you do this to me I didn’t do it to you I did it for me mhm you were not an equation you were not you were not even considered you were not an afterthought there was not a I’m doing you dirty you were not in the

Forefront of my brain at all in any fashion when I did XYZ so it wasn’t about you it has nothing to do with you these are my choices my actions and you just happen to to be hurt by the blowback of it I think that would hurt

Me more than the actual actions being done yeah that’s what’s happening though that is it 100% is and that would be my focus of the conversation why am I not in the Forefront of your mind you’re on you’re [ __ ] every single morning I wake up and I’m like how’s my husband doing

Where’s my husband at I I don’t know there is a loyalty to you that I have never experienced before in my life what just wild to hear do you not experience that or no I we’ve had this conversation at length our our the bond between you and I I was going

To say relationship the bond between you and I is unlike anything I’ve ever experienced yeah one thing to feel it it’s another to hear it from somebody else’s perspective to get that they’re going through the same thing okay I asked because I the elaboration I suppose yeah I guess I should have just

Said elaborate on that instead of imposing a question about feelings I’m sorry I did that noted though that was so easy yeah it is easy she would come to his strike shifts and spend the entire shift with him what is a strike shift I have no idea what is all right

Do you want to Google it real quick strike shift I’m going to assume like a really long shift or maybe he was on strike and still outside doing something and she just happened to be there I don’t know picking she would come to a strike shifts meaning multiple though

Okay and spend the entire shift with him which I would have a problem with yeah there’s something going on there it’s not just a friendship that’s it’s it’s gone beyond that there’s a relationship there whether it’s intimate or not or two different things but there’s definitely a relationship there that

Takes it outside of the Game of Thrones interest hobby conversation right 100% well see and that’s why I asked that question earlier because I can have a conversation with somebody on Facebook right either on messenger or publicly if I if okay let’s how about that then okay

New coworker at the job you they add you on Facebook and you have a a a link posted to your page Pro publicly check out this new movie they shared it right because they saw it on their feed right share a feed share to a friend whatever

And then in the comments there’s 200 [ __ ] comments between the two people is that a problem no is that any different than it going to a messenger yes why because messenger is private so then it comes down to a lack of trust um lack of I I think I would say lack of

Trust and there’s also intention behind that a private direct message is I want this to be between us this is going to be nobody else’s eyes I don’t know there’s a different intent behind that okay I think it’s more respectful to do it publicly on a Facebook page to have that back and

Forth I think that if people are trying to get over cheating that’s definitely the way to do it yeah I only ask because Sean and I do all of our messaging it’s all messaging anytime we see something we like we send it to each other on a messenger right but you’re not

Interested in Sean I know but the point is is that there can be that friendship there just because it’s not public doesn’t mean that there is nefarious intent I was just asking if if saw it differently I’m not trying to argue the point I was interested in your opinion

Or your view and you gave it yeah I’m not saying it’s right or wrong I was just trying to understand your your thought process behind all of it I think that men and women also get different things from the opposite gender I agree I I don’t believe that there is a

Single male female friendship out there right now if you were to call them up out them blue be like hey you want a Netflix and chill they’re not going they’re going to take that opportunity yeah they’re going to take that opportunity to see where things go 100%

A straight male and female yeah single single yes even then doesn’t have to be single there are women out there who Pride themselves on the fact that they can get a married husband right but you said any male female relationship would take that opportunity to Netflix and chill I don’t believe

That why because I know women who that could message me and be like you want to hang out and and do things like that and no no I don’t right but that’s theming even if I was single that wouldn’t be a thing right but either end there’s that

Intent there so them asking you that is them shooting their shot in the hopes I agree with that that I do believe that in most scenarios that men are close to women because they they’re waiting for their opportunity 100% but there’s a difference between being casual with

Somebody and being like up their ass difference between having nerdom conversations about you know whatever it is that you’re into and going out for [ __ ] cheeseburgers and shakes you know what I mean like it’s a very different scenario to me it depends it doesn’t because having a conversation on social media

Right is very different to just have a casual conversation than it is to be a friend with somebody like you’re not developing a relationship it’s different like I can have conversations with people and not develop a relationship with them there are people who long distance have never met in person and that’s their

Relationship and they’re in love but that’s their intent right so your intent may be just a Game of Thrones conversation her intent might be might be right but that could be her intent of this will be my end this will loosen him up and then I can start asking him the

Real deep questions and yeah men do that [ __ ] too I’m not saying I disagree with you I’m not arguing the point I was just trying to get your opinion so that I could see your point of view on things that’s it I know I’m still just sharing

My point of view I’m not trying to argue do you feel like I’m trying to argue no I just I feel like we’re beating a dead horse at this point I was just trying to see if there was like a a different I that whole thing even came up because

I was curious if it was different from public to private well we’ve had conversations that that’s different and you’ve agreed about that I I what do you mean we’ve had multiple conversations like that on the podcast where there is 100% of difference between public and private but we’re not talking about

Asking about kids and like this was a very specific conversation I don’t see why the topic would change that if we’re having a conversation and you’re like do you think it’s inappropriate that that men and women are private messaging each other as a blanket statement yes yes I

Do right but that’s a blanket statement that’s very black and white there are great areas if somebody is is married if both parties are married and something happens to the husband and the wife reaches out to the other the other guy who’s the husband’s friend and says hey

He’s having his gallbladder removed he’s in the hospital is that inappropriate no right and that’s a private message so there a gray area so I’m not saying that that you can’t ever message somebody of the opposite sex I won’t that’s a definite I’m not saying that I’m trying to understand because the the

Conversation and the why of the the situation matters so yes I do agree as a blanket statement that it is an appropriate to be messaging people who are married if you of the opposite sex however the intent behind the conversation matters okay and if two people have a fandom if there’s a new

Video game coming out and everybody plays that same video game and you reached a new level that you have never seen before and you send screenshots of that or photos of it and there’s a private message had about that I don’t see anything wrong with that the the context of the conversation matters

Which is why I was asking because we were speaking specifically on nerdom okay well I agree with all of that it’s why I was just trying to get your thoughts trying to make sure that we how am I going to learn these things about you if we don’t have the conversation

Right until it happens and then somebody’s in trouble because it didn’t happen the way that we perceived it supposed to be playing out so we’ve said a lot that this podcast helps us with our relationship because now we’re not going to have these problems right we just work through an hour of somebody

Else’s [ __ ] it’s nice and and I don’t feel like I’m in trouble for doing something wrong so it’s a [ __ ] win for me yeah and but that’s that was why I kept asking all those questions well that’s why I kept asking mine as well because why you asking all them

Questions asking all them questions that was my ringtone for a while yeah yeah assuming back into the email he went back to her house after a strike shift ended at midnight and stayed until 3:00 to 4:00 a.m. yeah they’re [ __ ] he gave her a PS4 that

Was meant to be for one of our two kids they’re [ __ ] so she could game with him they’re [ __ ] my love of stuffed animals is stupid hers is cool he tried to buy her a crystal necklace because she likes crystals mind you so do I but

He’s never tried to buy me one she bought our new fridge for him to pay back for her whatever she’s constantly buys him stuff for work she is constantly buying him stuff for work I don’t all of that is an appropriate all of it 100% they’re [ __ ] that would be

My mindset there is not any circumstance for a married person to be staying at somebody else’s house that’s of the opposite sex even if y’all are gay that you should not be staying at somebody’s house who is single leaving your married spouse at Home Alone by themselves in your marital bed no circumstances

Huh what you about to hit me with this be a long [ __ ] podcast even if that chick is about to off herself okay we’re going together you’re not going by yourself right but that’s not you’re going to hate me by the time we’re done with this what uh you’re

Already just posturing over there you said well you’re laughing I feel like I’m a butt of a joke right now no it’s I’m laughing because of everything that this has nothing to do with you why do you feel like a but of a joke why do you feel like you’re a but

Of a joke because you’re laughing you’re like you’re about to get so mad at me and like I just said my opinion and you’re laughing and I don’t know I’m laughing because for the last hour I’ve hit you with scenario after scenario after scenario of what if what if what

If what if what if what if okay it’s annoying I know it’s people do that [ __ ] to me I’m like dude stop I like it it’s engaging and you’re making me think so I’m laughing because I’m about to do it again has nothing to do with you you’re

Not a why would you feel that way have I ever made you the butt of a joke no I don’t like that no I I didn’t like it either that’s why I said it you said that under no circumstances even if they’re gay if they’re single should you

Be of the opposite sex staying over there I I there are circumstances where that makes it okay what if no I’m going to concede I’m sorry you look salty about it I’m not salty about it I just there were I but I’m going to concede you win that one I’m not going to

Continue to to try to give you scenarios because you’ve been a able to rebuttal all the ones that I’ve given you and I I’m going to cut all that out because you guys don’t need to hear another 20 minutes of us doing that but she she won that

One even the hospital scenario you won because you were like I would just stay at the hospital with you so you’re right you you got that one I’m not going to push on it it wasn’t about me winning I know if you lose we both lose so this

Isn’t a win lose well I guess I’m conceding wa you’re making it a win lose I know cuz I was trying to have one over on me uh show you that there’s gray areas and everything I agree that the the world is not black or white it’s there’s color

And everything there are just some things that I do believe are black and white I would have a problem with a woman buying you things all the time that would be an issue for me I get that people are gift givers and that’s how they express their love for somebody

Right like but if a woman’s going out of her way to buy you something every single week and she’s not giving that attention to anybody else in the workplace I have a problem with that yeah I agree I would imagine as a man if I were a man I would be embarrassed by

The fact that my female coworker had to buy a fridge for my house agree I I would not accept that back into the email my birthday plans got ruined by my daughter ending up in the hospital he wasn’t supposed to talk to her for my birthday and he was talking to her 75%

Of the time that they were at the hospital cuz I couldn’t stay and she got updated before me some of the time see what she did there with the hospital thing again yeah I’m also confused because either he your children or they our children like did you have kids

Before him or do you have kids together she also made the hospital thing a victim mentality too she got updated before me I understand that’s a problem but if I’m having a conversation if if you and I were texting MH and something happened with my dad and I needed to

Tell my mom but you or I are currently in a text message and I’m already texting you I’m going to finish that text message before I tell my mom what’s going on and if I was talking to my mom and something happened that you needed to know about the kids and I’m already

In the text message with my mom that 15 seconds that it’s going to take for me to finish that text message before I text you is that going to somehow make the universe implode well also what are the chances of you being in the middle of a text

Message bullshitting and then going oh something’s happening with our kid she’s in viib right well you just you just told her you just told that person before your your person that they’re in viib right but why would that have to be a part of the conversation like why does

That person have to know that because if you’re in the hospital you’re already telling people what’s going on if you were in the hospital if if if little man was in the hospital and we were sitting in there and I was texting my mom and you went to the bathroom and they came

In and told me like hey okay this is what happened he broke his tibia right and I was texting my mom okay so we got information from little man his tibia is broken and you came out of the bathroom and I was like okay we know what

Happened his tib is broken right am I wrong for telling my mom that his tib was broken while you were taking a [ __ ] no I would say you’re wrong though if you’re having inappropriate relationships with a woman and you tell her about our child before you tell me

It’s not what I’m but that’s the email that’s not the conversation that I’m having I understand that that that relationship is in appropriate yeah the victim mentality of my kid was in the hospital and this person found out before I did all of that information is to create a negativity bias towards him

For what’s going on is it towards him or towards her whoever whoever and then throwing in well they found out before I did the the the relationship is the problem mhm there’s inappropriate [ __ ] happening what he’s doing is wrong I’m not saying that what he’s doing is not

Wrong but I’m saying that Throwing Shade because of hospital stays and because you’re not getting the information first there are scenarios where like that’s okay right yeah there are I would that’s not something that would bother me I guess it’s really just what it comes down to I understand her point I get

What she’s doing I understand why she feels the way she feels I’m not negating that I simply think that she’s putting emphasis on things that are not relevant to the email it’s simply showing that she’s hurt and playing the victim in certain things okay that’s it so I understand that I think that

It’s just more [ __ ] right yeah that’s all it is it’s just more [ __ ] she’s already hurt she’s hurting sure doesn’t feel like a priority right there’s a whole lot of problems going on there so I I’m not saying that I I think that there’s just parts of the emails that

That’s not relevant to what’s going on it’s really what it get comes down to yeah and I think that people want to want to make other people take their side and that’s why we say things like that because if we’re we’re supposed to be like a neutral neutral thing right

But if you say something to us it’s going to make us feel a certain way about that person of course we’re going to take your side because how dare them right well how dare them if that’s the case like he’s already doing a bunch of foul [ __ ] we don’t need all that extra

Salt like it’s seasoned enough I get it I see what’s going on had another thought that guy and that girl have a relationship right so regardless of whether or not the relationship is wrong or appropriate or appropriate it’s still a relationship they tell each other a

Whole bunch of [ __ ] so if she knows he’s in the hospital and knows about the kid and knows what’s going on and they’re already having the conversation and they are already text messaging of course she’s going to hear about it first because they are constantly in communication they wer trick-or-treating

Together I bet she’s emotionally involved in the child too because there’s a relationship there she bought you a fridge for your house you think that she’s not like caught up in all of this she [ __ ] is like let’s let’s look at this whole picture not just at

One aspect of it from your hurt perspective there there’s there is a relationship there things in like this is not happening to her this it’s happening in spite of her right okay that should have that probably should have been what I said in the beginning to just make all of that

Coherent because she’s taking it very personal and I I can understand why her feelings are hurt right but he’s doing what he’s doing regardless of how she feels it’s not about her it’s about what he wants and who he’s doing it with and it sucks to be in her standpoint like

That sucks for her yeah she bought him a manscape lawnmower 4.0 and box for Christmas wow he bought her a gift but not me he calls her as soon as he leaves in the morning and has to say good night to her every night yeah they’re they’re in a relationship this isn’t cheating

He’s in a relationship with her at this point he jumps to cook when she’s here but not just for me I’m are you really going to just skip over the whole manscaping and boxers thing you don’t buy underwear for somebody that you’re not intimate with right that’s like Men

Don’t Buy Women perfume that they’re not sleeping with like that’s an inappropriate gift underwear are inappropriate gifts you don’t do that like you buy that for your kid and your spouse that’s as far as that goes underwear are Intimates mhm they have a relationship he’s having an

Affair right and even if they’re not [ __ ] they’re emotionally involved they are emotionally attached the calling every single morning and having to say good night mhm that’s a big deal to me yeah like I made it a point to tell you like hey in the mornings I know

You’re not super talkative or anything but can you give me a kiss just so I know that you woke up with me on your mind right and you know always get the kiss sometimes you get a booty grab yeah sometimes it’s a hair tassel and a little it’s okay to have cake for

Breakfast sometimes by the ocean hey and then at night even after I’ve passed out on your chest and you tap me still a kiss good night yeah still a kiss good night my eyes are close like I am I know where your mouth is from my laying position on your chest I don’t

Even have have to look at you at this point and it’s not a habitual thing I could roll over and go back to bed it is a all right I’m ending the night with you oh [ __ ] me I love you so much it’s stupid I couldn’t imagine being in her position

Yeah would you take it the same way she did would you take it all as a slight against you no I would take it as what did I do like how did we get here see and that’s how I would take it right that’s how I would take that and I don’t

Know if it’s because I’ve been on in his shoes or if it’s because of the life experience that I’ve lived but I believe that my my reality is a reaction of my choices right like I don’t believe that that people just do things to you right and and here’s a simple simple [ __ ]

Explanation for that she could have left the moment she felt things weren’t going right she could have been like look I’m not okay with what you’re doing I have more self-worth I’m leaving you’ve showed him what you’re willing to tolerate right right and now she’s in a really shitty situation and life is

Happening in spite of her yeah that sucks and I’m not saying that it it’s her fault but she could have left so this is not throwing blame this is saying that she had options and she could have done something differently to get a different outcome and I’m going to

Get [ __ ] on for that because everybody wants to say all you’re doing is placing blame on on the the victim I’m not I’m saying take accountability and being like hey my life is mine yeah I’m not going to tolerate this right right My outcome is My outcome the result of of

Hard work and preparation right everything that I’ve got in my life is the decisions that I have [ __ ] made good or bad you want to take accountability for the wins yeah I did that [ __ ] but when things don’t go your way you don’t want to take the reason

For the L I wasn’t I did I dropped the f bomb too many times in that interview I gave a limp dick handshake right it could be I didn’t give my woman enough attention mention like the first emailer and now she’s in a hotel room drunk [ __ ] another dude like there

Are things that could have been done even if it was a [ __ ] conversation I could have talked to my person you could have done something yeah I think that’s going to be the last time I ever address that and at this point I don’t think that people

Who don’t get it are going to get it so oh I agree yep the email ends with he still hasn’t put our kids beds together moved into our new house 2 months ago but hung up a TV for her and set it up wait are they living together oh no he

Went to her house and probably did that okay always wants her here when I need him to do chores am I crazy or do you see something wrong here yeah I see a lot wrong here but they’re in a relationship oh yeah they’re full-fledged I bet that good night text

Hasn’t I love you in it yeah it could it very well could and even if it doesn’t there could be a different phrase or emojis some kind of secret thing that they’ve discussed yeah let’s be realistic though what’s keeping him from leaving you right is it the the kid is

He afraid he’s not going to see his kid anymore cuz if that’s the case maybe he’s been like look I really want to be with you but if I leave her she’s going to take my kid from me right so now this this new chick is a [ __ ] mistress

Side chick like she’s in a full-blown relationship with him treating him like a relationship just so that he doesn’t have to go through the Heartbreak of his kid right like there’s a whole lot here A whole lot [ __ ] here we have made separation in this country so [ __ ]

Difficult when there are kids and marriage involved that the consequences for leaving has become greater than the consequences of cheating or infidelity it’s become easier to lie than it is to tell the truth yeah like we have done that as a society we have done that it’s almost like it has been set

Up oh my God okay this is a complete hypothetical this is my brain on the crazy train it’s almost like it has been set up to favor women to keep men entrapped in shitty relationships so they don’t have to work on themselves the the women’s movement

Started with we wanted the right to vote we want to be able to do the things that men can do and now it has turned into I am going to get my happiness by whatever means because I matter the most and now the court system has been set up once

Again to be against men to force them to be in positions they don’t want to be in for the benefit of a woman so let’s look at it this way women join the Workforce 100 years ago right mhm and we know that women who are in CEO positions on

Average make more than men regardless of what you want to say with the whole [ __ ] wage gap which has been proven false over and over and over again for years now but women are in the workforce they have the ability to do a woman can

Do everything a man can do if that’s the case why haven’t the laws on alimony changed you can do everything a man can do you can get a job and even if there’s only pennies of a difference in a wage gap or even dollars a dollar even on a

Wage Gap you can still support yourself why should a man have to give up half of his wages to support you in the event that there’s a divorce because you can do everything a man can do right why are we so quick to take [ __ ] kids away

From their fathers this comes down to tax dollars child support is a federal tax scam it’s all you can Google that that’s a whole [ __ ] thing to go down but we’ve made it a point to destroy the nuclear family people don’t want to [ __ ] be together forever anymore it

Makes more taxpayers more dependence on the government it it’s a whole [ __ ] problem if they really wanted to make change and make equality they would get rid of all of that [ __ ] they don’t want equality they want Equity they want a leg up I say they want

Revenge and what better revenge for a failed marriage then you’re going to pay me until I either remarry or until I [ __ ] die there are people who won’t get remarried because they want to keep that paycheck coming or because they get they get money from the government right

My grandfather uh was military and Native American my grandma still gets a check to this day even though he died when I was a kid wow and if she was to remarry she would lose those benefits so if she were to legally get remarried right well I mean

Obviously you can live with somebody for the rest of your life and have that life they could have a ceremony and do the thing and be married but if they sign a piece of paper she loses all that [ __ ] yeah all right let’s move on to the

Question because we’re this is going to be a long [ __ ] podcast people have been asking for it have they so the question that I saw this morning on Tik Tok was a group of men in a podcast room this is going to be how different my mindset is compared to other people and

It said do you think that women are more thirsty for attention or men are more thirsty for sex and they they paused for a second and they all answered and they all said that men were more thirsty for sex and I disagree but what is your answer to that

I think women are more thirsty for attention I put a lot of thought into that and I think that are there men out there who’s sole purpose for relationships is to have sex yes they are known they make their rounds through friend groups whatever that they

Do I think that men yearn more for understanding and unconditional love like they’re more thirsty for that than they are for sex sex is so abundant only fans they’re GP chat or whatever you can have sexual conversations with AI wow it sex is such an over inundating thing in

Today’s society that it doesn’t mean anything anymore there’s no value to it anymore for women there’s a lot of value and attention right oh yeah monetary even mon 100% monetary there are women making million not they have millions of followers on Tik Tok but they’re making thousands of dollars a month just doing

Dances yeah and showing off their body I I don’t think that men are CRA sexual beings made out the way that they are made out in society I think that a majority of women especially with the younger women coming up with so with social media and being raised with

Trauma that a lot of their self-worth is based on the attention that they get men don’t base their worth on sex no you’re right most don’t yeah so here’s my thought process on all this because it’s not a clean answer it’s not yes or no or

One or the other right men don’t care about sex it’s the thrill of the hunt it’s the chase right getting what we we want conquering a woman or or however you want to word that it’s the thrill of the hunt the courting phase and the back

And forth and the chess game of mental and like getting to the point of having sex is why women don’t get called back afterwards because they’ve they’ve got the kill right you guys are pray for us we are we are Hunters by Nature that is attention because in doing so you are

Feeding my attention it’s not about sex it’s about you giving me the attention while I’m giving you attention to get to that final goal the attention has shifted I believe that everyone is attention starved we are lonely we are lonely in our marriages we are lonely in

Our friendships we are lonely in our households kids are neglected because of devices we are more divided than we have been in human history because of Technology everyone just wants to have somebody to [ __ ] love them they want to be close they want to feel like they

[ __ ] matter they want to be heard it’s all based off of attention and when you can get a fake dopamine response from a life or you can get a paycheck because you got a booty man or women because I know there’s a lot of dudes on Tik Tok

[ __ ] thirst trapping doing the same [ __ ] you are filling a void in yourself all of that attention that you’re getting in the moment fills you up but it’s fake it’s not real you are using your appearance to somehow feel like you [ __ ] matter and then at the end of

The day you’re going to feel less full because you know that there’s nothing about you that people really want other than your appearance appearance it’s synthetic dopamine it it’s it’s [ __ ] garbage and I heard that question and all of those guys went right to the booty and like maybe it’s because I’m

Not that guy like sex is important to me I enjoy it and and like when I when I was a single man The Thrill of the hunt was absolutely a thing for me but like it’s not sex I’m not trying to just have sex I want the experience to get to that

Point I want the conversations and the attention and the the lustful feeling of it all right like there is a tension there so for women who are thirsty on the internet doing thirst traps and and the way that they worded that question if it was black and white I

Would think that women are more thirsty because there’s more of that than there are men getting laid because women have the the the ability to say yes or no right you guys have the ability to walk into any bar in America and leave with the man you want where most men go home

By themselves every night right so but I think the answer to that is that it comes down to a lack of attention and we are [ __ ] lonely as a species and I asked Mike and I asked Katie and I didn’t open the text message because I

Wanted to read it on the podcast okay he said so here’s the conclusion we’ve come to men and women both crave SLR starving for attention but men are impatient so the attention is based on immediate gratification the quick release through sex we think women personally are more prepared to acquire

The attention in Mass amounts which can become addictive due to the accessibility in Social normalization it’s like it’s uh it’s like every like becomes a trophy right so now they’re using Trophies the way that men trophy the women that they’ve slept with okay then he said whether they are on social

Media presenting that week’s most recent yme pity me post or the most recent pair of glasses they bought and so happen to have their boobs out while they show them off to guarantee the likes men are just simple enough to take the bait assuming that maybe that this is their

Chance to hunt and conquer I love that he [ __ ] used the word hunt look at the thirst traps laid out all over social media we men fall into it almost unconsciously the hunt for sex has replaced the traditional hunt for survival and the new conquest because everything else is so readily available

Whereas women are starving for attention in a much more emotionally driven way but in a lot of ways use sex to achieve that knowing it’s Allure hoping that it can produce more for long-term gratification they don’t believe they are enough good enough pretty enough popular enough Etc so they require

Someone else to fill that void for them I [ __ ] love that all four of us went to the exact same place with that and that podcast everyone on that podcast went a completely different direction and you know what that tells me it tells me that there is a difference between

People who have the ability to think for themselves versus just answer the question that’s been given because it’s not a yes or no question it’s not black and white there is a gray area there’s so much more to that than just the why matters right I love that he used the

Term hunt I love that there’s I I you know he when he was here he was talking about how he’s very big on tribe I’ve always been big on primitive [ __ ] like I just I love that that primitive thing about who we are as a species you know right

Because when it boils down to it we are animals right we are we absolutely [ __ ] are and people forget that they do because we have higher intelligence and opposable thumbs yeah do dolphins are more intelligent than us uh I’ve never heard that they are I know that they’re

Intelligent and I know that they can communicate but I know about more intelligent than us we are still trying to understand the way that they communicate with one another because it’s so extensive yeah yeah do you still feel like you’re hunting me uh I pursue you all the

Time well you didn’t use hunt so um because I I I have you I if if I was a caveman and I’ve dragged you into the cave and I’ve got you and I’m just dragging you around your mind okay I’ve got my trophy yeah but I’m still showing that trophy off MH

Right I don’t have to hunt you anymore I’ve got you you just drag you around by your broken ankle but I I do pursue you still MH um I don’t have to hunt for you because you are mine so that’s why I chose to use the word pursue okay because I could not

Pursue you and just accept that you’re here and go about my life and just Co coexist with you or cohabitate with you and that’s not what I want I was trying think of a really cool analogy of an old Hunter but I got nothing yeah I’m tired

Today has kicked my ass me too and this went on way longer than I expected it and we have to be in the studio in 45 minutes okay so with that being said guys I have no idea how long this episode ended up being and I hope you

Enjoyed it because it exhausted me you got anything else no Why the pause because okay this is going to make it longer I um um women hunt but we hunt in a different way you forge right well yeah we Forge but I feel like the hunt for me

Specifically me being my own woman the hunt for me was getting you to come after me right like I would lay out the breadcrumbs and then you would pick up on it and then pursue right I like to think that I still do that for you and I

Just I like our Dynamic yeah I enjoy being playful with you and still being the Prancing deer that you’re chasing or admiring at this point yeah I I think that’s important if pursuing me wasn’t fun for you I don’t think that you would still do it no no I

Wouldn’t and if you turned me down all the time I wouldn’t you know what I mean like there’s there’s there is a balance that has to be had in all of this MH so I make it fun for you to purum it needs to be fun for both of us that

Being said guys remember you the authors of your own life so grab a pen and we’ll see you on the next one bye guys

source