Okay and you want to hear the coolest part every couple living in the storm is on athletic scholarship sort of like how the circus keeps all the freaks together oh no they separate them if not the fat lady would eat lobster boy what’s up upstairs wow what a view hey I can see
My car down in the parking lot okay who left their door open no wait somebody’s in there somebody’s in my car hey hey somebody’s breaking in my car stop that guy in the fvo stop him no wait that’s not my car I so cannot wait to move in and once
Football season starts and everybody realizes you are the star of of the team we’re only going to be the most popular couple on campus well there are a lot of great players on the team but we might have the most popular baby uhhuh you know what actually there are a lot of
Great babies too yeah about that did you find out what kind of child care they have yet mom well I just want to make sure they have someone that can take care of Elizabeth properly what if they don’t have a red-headed woman with the voice of an
Angel look mom I know you’re concerned but van and I will take care of this but the nursery is very important and we’ll take care of it the whole point of us moving out is that we are in charge of our own lives now we’re adults yeah we
Can vote we didn’t but we could mom can we please leave I’d like to try and squeeze in a tiny bit of my life today oh no what you guys can’t leave yet I still have to show you our kitchen it has a sink you’re never going back back to the Prairie are
You you want to go check out the thing I vote Yes Man the facilities here are great they got a wait room they got a news stand they’ve even got a Red Bull machine down in the lobby dad and I watch the girl’s volleyball Tri outs for half an hour the boy wouldn’t
Leave come on Jake let’s go dangle you out the bedroom window hey oh check on my car be honest Reba are you okay with them moving out well part of me wants them to stay because my grandbaby I mean I’m the only one that’s ever taken care of her
Besides Cheyenne of course the other part of me wants that diaper palale out of my house we’re only 5 minutes away I’m sure we’ll be over here all the time heck volleyball season starts October 9th well at least now Jake Kier and I will start living a normal life yeah
It’s been a hell of a year sure has thanks for that by the way you know I think our kids turned out pretty well considering yeah they’re tough little boogers aren’t they although sometimes I worry that Kira is not a little bit too tough n she’s always been like that hey remember
The time she punched that German Shepherd never pooped in our yard again did it we used to have so much fun together well you still can you just have to find something she likes doing now Brock I can only watch so many episodes of the osbornes Shon I got tangled up in me
Shirt again who I am is who I want to be I’m a survivor oh Mrs H you’re just in time huh I put up the Christmas lights what do you think I think it’s September yeah why I figur since shy and I are moving out I do a bunch of big
Jobs to help out before we go oh that’s very thoughtful of you Z it really is well thank you take them down here can you come down here honey so let me guess you probably don’t want the manger set up either is it Christmas already L
Not what don’t say what I got a little present for you that’s what Mom van and cheyen are moving out that’s the greatest gift of all roller blades yeah an elbow and need Doo hickeys and I got a pair too so if you have a pair and I have a
Pair wait I must have this wrong no we’re going to be skating together it’ll be fun what do we get to do together uh well you get to help me plan dinner can we have hot dogs no we’re going to have pork chops but you get to pick where we’re
Going to eat them can we eat in the bathroom no we’re going to get them in the dining room yay we play dinner J put baby Jesus back oh man what don’t say what oh come on K let’s at least try it we used to like doing stuff
Together I apologize for wanting to spend time with you okay I’m guilty of wanting to be with you so now that that ugly little Secret’s out what do you say let’s strap these babies on and go make dang fools out of ourselves man I’m okay that was a close one
One sorry I took so long I came on the I 10 and it was a crawl from the 45 merge you know it’s incredible that they haven’t figured out they got to widen that Corridor every year it gets worse and worse like a dang parking lot I’m
Going to write a letter to city council I swear uh van sorry you didn’t sound too concerned on the phone well we don’t think he broke anything but he kind of smashed up his knee that’s not a bad injury for a football player is it Daddy the knee
No no no no thank goodness it was the knee this is Montgomery your husband is doing just fine it was a pretty severe strain on the knee but it didn’t need surgery he’ll be be in a brace for a few weeks if he works hard he should be able to
Make a complete recovery oh thank God oh and you know you all well that is good news no what’s matter sweetheart a couple of weeks I mean what about football season if van can’t play football he is going to freak mom then we’re just going to have to
Help him get through this he’s down so we lift him up that’s what families do we support each other we’re just not going to let him be depressed look out for the man Mo B come on kiddo get your pads on today the day we finally get out and go skating oh no not again Jake I know you have the baby Jesus and I want it back the Lord is not a toy come on K get on let’s go could there be anything more embarrassing than
Rollerblading around the neighborhood with your mom hey I didn’t want to play Candy Land with you nine hours today when you were little either but I did you owe me come on Kira I’ve been asking you to go rotor blading with me for 3 days you going to or
Not okay but then we play Candyland till midnight deal you do realize how stupid we’re going to look doing this right speak for yourself I’m not the one skating with her mom hey it’s a vanmobile how was the physical therapy oh outstanding those people down there are incredible do you
Know there are guys down there playing basketball and wheelchairs there’s wheelchair Olympics you know people in wheelchairs can do anything they sit their minds to where are you going I’m going to go M Lawn well looks like you finally convinced Kira to go skating with you ah
You know Kira take me skating take me skating just like a broken record okay good dad you’re back you ready to go yeah all set we’re going to take some stuff over to the apartment you want to come oh sorry my day’s all booked are you sure I mean we could
Swing by the nursery afterwards no no no I heard what you said honey I know you can handle it well of course I can I just I was thinking I mean I don’t see why you couldn’t just tag along you’re an adult you’ll be just fine just make
Sure they answer any questions you may have of course I don’t have any questions van had the questions what are the questions mom any questions okay I’ll go oh hey K you look great Hey listen Chey needs me to go over to the campus with her real quick
Is that okay I don’t care you want to come yeah right yeah don’t take off your pads we are going to skate today okay all right I’ll be back in 15 minutes you and Mom like on a hockey team or something actually this little energy drink’s not that bad but it’s so tiny
I’d have to drink 10 of these okay and I’ll catch your heart when it blows out of your chest hey why is my door open oh you must have left it open when you brought stuff over earlier I haven’t brought anything over and somebody put a bunch
Of stuff in here we need to call the police and report what a delivery can I help you it’s just that I think that you guys have the wrong apartment this is 7B van and cheyen Montgomery according to this letter from the athletic department 7B just became
Available I think this is our apartment well there’s only one way to settle it I’ll race you for it What is going on how could they give away our apartment oh no baby I’m sure they didn’t now it’s just a mixup now when the athletic coordinator gets here he’ll straighten it all out Jeff is a great guy you think so oh yeah you know
What it could be could be they want to move you to a lower floor cuz Van’s injured a lower floor like where the bad mitton team lives no uh cheyen calm down you’re an adult are you going to deal with this problem or you just going to fall apart
I’m going to fall apart oh yes yes I am Mom oh yes I am everything is going wrong I mean first van gets injured and now we’re losing our apartment you’re not losing anything look tell you what take my car go home feed the baby and
Relax oh and pick up another case of these okay make it two Mom are you going to deal with this guy oh you bet I am go on now you know what this is probably just some computer mistake like the time those 900 numbers showed up on our phone bill what was that
About don’t you see what’s going on around here they’re trying to take van scholarship away because he’s hurt what no they’d never do that to him all these colleges do that kind of thing all the time they did a big story on it on 2020 or not thingy or that one where the
Guy’s hair looks like she made out of wood great Theory except the guy in the kitchen’s also hurt so why would they give the apartment to him why cuz shut up that’s why Jeff is on his way over good cuz I’m eager to talk to him real eager I’m going to unpack some
Boxes oh no Louis you got to rest that arm if you’re going to be able to play again honey she’s right so Lou was does this Jeff guy know you’re hurt no I don’t think so why well you better stop unpacking cuz you may lose your apartment too what are you talking about
Well apparently these sleev balls don’t like giving housing to football players who can’t play no no no I don’t play football I play violin in the University Orchestra wait I thought this dorm was for athletes right that would be me women’s volleyball oh yeah you were at the Triads well she was
Good hello H leis well hey there BR hey je well what seems to be the problem here oh it’s just a little misunderstanding that’s all all I know is what your letter says now if you’ll excuse me I need to go talk to the painters I hope you can work something
Out who knew play in the fiddle could be so dangerous his arm no that happened when some grabbed him in the parking lot the other day accused him of trying to steal his own car so what can I do you for oh it’s the craziest thing Jeff Reba has this idea
That you’re trying to take away Van’s housing I don’t have any choice when somebody suspends their scholarship oh well there’s the mistake no Jeff no van didn’t suspend his scholarship oh sure he did Brock yeah he and I had a long conversation about it was the only some
Kind of medication at the time no sometimes it’s hard to tell no no this was all man’s idea he said he and Cheyenne talked it over and wanted to do it I asked him to red shirt but he said he wanted to take a year off now if you’ll excuse
Me why would van suspend his scholarship honest to God Brock just when I begin to relax and think that those two are starting to act responsibly they pull something like this when are they ever going to grow up and look who I’m Asking oh hey sweetie sorry that took so long we kind of ran into an unexpected problem Mom did you fix that thing that’s not quite over yet that thing that thing oh that thing were you two think you still be able to stay in college campus housing even
Though van suspended his scholarship no Chey I wasn’t able to fix that thing that’s why we lost our housing you suspended your scholarship no no no no no okay yeah wait a minute didn’t you discuss this with her yes yes of course okay no how did you not tell me about this
Van well I don’t know sometimes it’s hard to talk about athlet stuff with you because you believe in me so much it’s like you think I can do anything because you can see it’s always like this you’re my wife it would be nice if you could show just a little doubt sometimes
Doubt doubt about what are you afraid your knee isn’t going to heal you are going to be as good as new Honey boy you just won’t let up will you no I’m not worried about my knee so why didn’t you red shirt so you can start classes oh right and risk becoming
Academically ineligible you have to maintain a c minus average who do you think I am Albert Weinstein it’s Einstein van no the smart kid in senior class was Albert Weinstein Einstein this is a nightmare no new apartment or new life we were going to be the most
Popular couple on campus now we’re not even going to be on campus we’re popular all we are is just a couple well at least you can run away I’m the one in the van mobile van I know you’re injured but you don’t make decisions like that without talking to your wife you guys
Are a team these things affect her too I guess I was scared to tell her scared why you were only putting it off for a year yeah I guess fan ever since I’ve known you you’ve planned on playing college and then trying out for pros yeah but I was a kid then that
Was the high school football team I mean I was always the fastest player on the field but now I’m not even close God I was really struggling Mrs H and that was before I got hurt yeah you’re right you’ll probably be a lot slower now that’s sweet but I know you’re just
Trying to make me feel better boy you know what wouldd be cool if they could do an operation that turns my knee into some nuclear powerered super knee of course they’d have to do an operation on both knees or I’d just be running a really fast
Circle and then I’d be dizzy all the time as hard as it is I really think you need to talk this over with your wife hey Mrs H you want to hear something weird what when the doctor told me I wasn’t going to be able to play for a while you
Know what I felt H relief does that make me a coward oh honey anyone who tries to find the thing that makes them happy is no coward even though technically you are scared to shy in man what an insane day all right cheer up grumpy you don’t have to go
Rollerblading today but I promise you first thing tomorrow I will humiliate you so it looks like shine and B will be staying around a while but good news Jake’s moving out you know what let’s make a rule even though they going to be here we’re still
Going to make time to do all our stuff together deal you mean like we did today here I’m sorry that I had to blow our skating off but shine had this major crisis and I had to deal with it yeah I know you did Mom you always do and you
Always will no believe me we’ll skate we’ll play Candy Land we’ll go down the river and shoot rats if you want honey I promise I’ll be able to make time for us well you know what maybe I won’t just because you want to spend time with me doesn’t mean I want to
Spend time with you oh hang on W we go skating right now no can I just have some time for myself would that be [Applause] okay got a second Mom I’m hungry I know Jake I’m starting dinner what are we having we’re having chick we’re having hot dogs hot dogs yes
And guess what we’re going to eat them in the bathroom I’ve never eaten in the bathroom I’ll get some ketchup mustard some chocolate milk some relish for Mom where do we keep the Buns morning sexy what in the heck do you you think you’re doing well right now I’m wondering why we chose this color grout you can’t come in here and just attack me like that close the curtain I can still see the view what’s gotten into you used to love
It when I kissed you yeah when we were married we are married what hey Mom and Dad we’re going to go to the mall there’s a sale on shoes I’m going cuz I’m in love W wo whoo who’s going to be watching Elizabeth well I’m not sure who’s Elizabeth your baby
Mom the last thing I’d have is a baby I’m 17 I’ve got my whole life ahead of me honey Mom are you all right no you say you don’t have a baby you’re talking responsible and you’re acting like a loving husband what’s wrong with you people what’s that Smell Jake Jake honey going back to your room is that gum I can’t do bring her here I haven’t gotten any sleep in 3 months I’m losing my mind Mom sh everybody it’ll be Okay what’s wrong with you it’s just so beautiful this is more like it who I am who I want to be I’m a surviv morning Mom is it technically morning if you’ve never gone to sleep I need some coffee if you need some more sleep you should try wearing earplugs like me oh
Can I borrow those tonight F what I need some sleep so I can start to think clearly how many years you plan to sleep you know if you didn’t want to get up with the baby you should just say so I don’t want to get up with the baby oh
You’re getting up with the baby I’m not doing this alone but what’s the point I get up I hand her to you that’s it I mean it’d be different if I was feeding her or something but I’m not built that way these Wells are dry kids can I say
Something mom seriously the last thing we need right now is your advice no you’re right you’re 17 living in my house with your husband and daughter you’ve got it covered hey Rea this boy won’t stop growing from now on no vegetables and he takes up smoking well at this point I doubt it
Would shock the neighbors did you have a good time with you Dad yeah Barber Jean got me a GameCube see at the puppet show buddy a GameCube like the one we both agreed not to get him surprise look I know we talk but I changed my mind Brock please tell me
You’re not letting Jake play those violent video games we have to the nice ones suck Brock no Rea Barbara Jean got it so they could have something to do together he’s having a great time she’s having a great time I don’t see the problem I don’t want barara jeene making the parenting
Decisions I tell you what from now on you make the rules at your house and don’t worry about who’s making them at mine oh that’s just great Brock what happens when we go to the park who makes the rules then I call the Park I just don’t think it’s fair that you always want me to change the baby well I feel like I’m taking care of what goes into the baby so logically so logically you would clean up what you started no then logically whoa whoa whoa Socrates Plato you really need to stop arguing
Hey I tell you what tonight I’ll watch Elizabeth so you guys can go out and have some fun is anyone checking on Elizabeth we have a monitor welcome to the 20th century Cara and it’s the 21st century are you coming well of course I wasn’t there to
Hand her to you the whole system would break down so Jake got a GameCube oh your father’s so irritating he told me they have a different set of rules over there and I just have to learn to live with it so here what’s that $5 tell me the
Rules $5 gee I’ll go see half a movie look I swear any information you give me is confidential but you’re my kids and I need to know exactly what’s going on over there well when you put it that way okay well like one thing they do is barbar jeene doesn’t believe in bed
Times we go to sleep whenever we want even on a school night well isn’t that fun but I’m sure you don’t stay up that late well it’s kind of hard to sleep with all the candy and soda she lets us have candy really what else she gives us fast food
After you tell her not to I told her not to do that I just said that I’m not talking to you that’s why I don’t trust her parenting she’s just trying to be popular oh she puts her needs over the welfare of my kids you think you could get her to say
Some of those things on tap Yoo Rea oh hi Barber Jean I got you a chair the little girl who was sitting here had to go to the bathroom no savings my right cheek thanks you my left cheek will make do thank you all for coming today we’re
Having a puppet show about a rabbit and a squirrel that learn an important lesson about how we should behave so what are you doing here Rock had to do a rook Canal it was an emergency you know dentists are the firemen of the mouth only their calendars don’t sell as
Well Larry want to sneak into the school tonight I don’t know Davey Oh and since school’s only a half day i’ like to take Jakey to lunch if that’s okay that rbit oh lunch huh will there be food at this lunch uhhuh you know I’m glad you brought this
Up cuz I’ve been wanting to talk to you again about keeping Jakey away from fast foods of course I never give him fast food CU fast foods upset his stomach and then he’s up all night and that’s why this biological mother I asked you not
To give him any it’s wrong not we never do are you sure you never give him fast food no never not one cuz you can tell me I swear I’ve never given him fast food liar what I said you’re a liar you lie you take him for fast food all the time
You take him and then you lie to my face well I refuse to let my son go to lunch with a Larry it’s also wrong to lie baby did I ever tell you when I was a kid we went to a dairy farm oh good lord okay upstairs there you go
Cheyenne use a coaster you know it’s your fault that I have to do this if you hadn’t gotten van all excited about going out I wouldn’t have to sit here and have my breast vacuumed our neighbors had heard shampooed they’re just like [Laughter] new hey do you think if you fell asleep
These would just keep sucking all the moisture out of you until you became like a raisin can imagine how anxious I am to have dinner with this man all right now I want y’all to go have a good time don’t talk about the baby don’t think
About the baby don’t even say the word baby what and it’s my baby hey guys what’s wrong with Cheyenne GE I don’t know she’s a teenage mother you’d think she’d be happier what’s up I need you to apologize to Barbara Jean apologize let’s see what are you doing checking for flying
Pigs you’re out of luck she says you called her a liar well she is she say she never gives Jake fast food she does oh yes she does no she does yes she does Reba I admitted we had an affair I don’t think I’d lie about a
Hamburger hang on a second I’m going to check something in the kitchen quick double check barbar Jean gave Jake fast food right no great thanks what Barbie Jean did not give Jake fast food but you said I know I was just hanging your chain you realize your father is out
There and now because I was wrong I have to apologize to barbar Jean this just keeps getting funnier I tell you what’s funny you’re grounded oh and that five bucks I gave you it’s [Laughter] Canadian you know what I can’t remember what all this was about in the first
Place so what do you say next time we’re all out bowling shoes are on me oh who I’m not done here Rea Barbara Jean didn’t lie and I’m not leaving until you promis to apologize to her fine I’ll apologize but she needs to apologize to me for making me sit on that stupid
Little old bitty chair Hey REO Bara Jean Brock said you wanted to talk to me nope don’t think so no he seemed pretty sure oh oh I I bet I know what it is you know we were laughing and talking earlier about you know how you guys are always apologizing to me about you know
All the terrible stuff you’ve done and I said Gee maybe I’ll apologize to you sometime for something so I’m sorry see you later you’re apologizing to me for what oh all right here goes I guess because of our history sometimes I was a little too quick to judge you and that wasn’t fair
So I’m sorry and I’m sorry I called you a liar oh REO I knew that was coming you don’t understand I lied what I did give Jake fast food I don’t tell Brock because sometimes I’m just too tired to cook and Jake loves it so much and he loves me
When I give it to him can you ever forgive me reer I’ll give you 10 seconds then I release the dogs You don’t have dogs cannibal Shredder come to Mama this was a great idea I feel free how’s the salad bar good what’d you get well I got baby corn and little baby carrots baby lettuce okay hold it right there your mom said we’re not supposed to talk about that why not huh I mean van did
You ever think that maybe I’m not obsessing too much but you’re not obsessing enough oh so this is all my problem well maybe it is I knew it you think I’m a bad parent I never said that well let me tell you something I love that little girl and just because I
Don’t check on her every 10 seconds or jump up the minute she cries doesn’t mean I don’t of course you do good then I don’t want to hear any more about this F I’m a terrible parent I don’t like my baby what what she she cry eyes and she
Doesn’t sleep and she she smells I mean I I love her but maybe I’m not a baby person you know we should had a 12-year-old like my cousin he’s really cool man you po thing and then I watch you and you’re so into her and it just makes me feel
Guiltier can I tell you something oh why not it can’t be worse than me saying I don’t like my own baby I don’t know if I like her either what I don’t know try but it just is never enough I thought this would be
Easier I mean van I love her too but God she’s like this tiny angry guest that won’t go away so you’re a bad parent too yeah I love you so much so originally you told the truth but then you lied when I asked you if you lied about telling the truth yeah that’s
Right what’s going on and this time I want the truth I was just kidding around it first but then when everything blew up I just want the arguing to stop but you people just won’t let it go oh come on it’s not like we’re at each other’s throats or
Anything I mean your dad won’t let it go but I’m not like that you’re both like that you ask me about them and they ask me about you and I’m always stuck in the middle oh honey I’m sorry I didn’t realize we were doing that it’s going to stop I
Promise so what do they ask about me hey there looks like someone had a good time tonight yes we did we had a very long talk yeah we realize there’s nothing wrong with us babies are just a nightmare yes you are you know you could have told us that
Before we got pregnant yeah we think maybe someone wanted to be a grandparent yeah I’m living the dreams did you call me over here about the hamburger thing again yes ah terrific it’s the third time today cows don’t talk this much about hamburger look I want to trust you with
The kids but I can’t unless I know everything that’s going on over there but isn’t trust believing without knowing no that’s Faith well how about a little faith how about just cough up the information okay fine but two can play at that game if I have to answer your
Questions you have to answer mine fine you already know about the fast food what else you let them go to bed anytime they want no they have a bedtime do you say nasty things about Barbara Jean in front of the kids yes do you ever let them have candy and
Soda at night yes that’s my right as a father but not very often do you use our 13-year-old daughter as a spy Yes do you make Jake take his vitamins does he brush his teeth who puts gum on his feet this is ridiculous why her what why her why Barbera Jean why come on Rebo what does it matter cuz it drives me crazy I mean it’s not like
I want you back or anything it’s just that just doesn’t make any sense I mean I’d get it if she was Miss Nascar or the girl that hands out the rubber worms down at the boat show did you just want somebody taller she needs me Rea my kids needed
You and they still have me and I will always be here for our kids but you didn’t need me reeba oh that’s ridiculous no it’s not I mean you can make toast Barbara Jean can’t help me out here Brock is make toast code for something no no see barar Jean loves
Making breakfast I mean omelets bacon fresh squeezed juice but she can’t make toast she always Burns it so I make it and when I bring the toast to the table I’m a big hero boy I didn’t think it was going to sound that stupid no I get
It I don’t guess I made you feel much like a hero last couple of years well maybe that’s because I wasn’t much of a hero we okay yeah I’ll talk to you later okay what kind of a can’t make Toast hey there Captain real estate what you doing oh more lame busy work your mom gave me it’s just a bunch of legal papers full of Latin it’s like you got to be from Latin Erica could understand this why don’t you tell her you already did it and then we can make
Out I stop it stop it some more hey guys come here you got to see this check it out I can see the thing in the back of his throat going up and down wow passed out 4 in the afternoon next thing you know he’s going to be wearing elastic
Pants poor guy he hasn’t been sleeping Barbara Jean’s taking him to a sleep doctor let’s put his hand in warm water Jake that’s childish well right on his forehead hey Mr AG Ben was going to draw on you yeah but in my defense I was bored so it’s
Like well at least you’re only going to write on my forehead Barbara Jean put my hand in warm water hey everybody hey Mom I thought you were at a big meeting oh it got pushed back van how’s the proofing going oh great same mistakes that weren’t there before aren’t there again I better
Double check no Mrs H you’re checking on me all the time I don’t check on you all the time right cuz that would be silly but I want equality you’re not going to burn your bra are you van one two 3 and sleep this is H I want you to give me
Some important stuff I want to go to the meeting with you man you are doing important stuff you’re learning let me put it to you this way I’m the mama line and you’re the baby cub I can’t send you off to hunt Buffalo if you’re not ready so here’s your to-do
List you cute little kitty but Mrs AG this stuff has nothing to do with real estate well you’re supposed to learn to do what you’re told without arguing you don’t do that maom that’s because I’m the mama line so pop down little stray goat then we have a problem the boss
Asked asked me today if everything was all right between us he said that some people were complaining about our bickering we wouldn’t be bickering if I felt like I was being respected that’s exactly how I felt when I was with her 1 2 3 and leave okay look why don’t you guys do
Some stuff together like pick out the photos for your new Flyers oh we’re not going to do another flyer why not well because fam when you do your charming smile it’s a little frightening what my charming smile is not frightening it’s warm and [Laughter] inviting my RS are planted in the past
Oh my life is changing fast who I am is who I want to be single mom who works to heart who loves your kids who never stops with hands and the Heart of a father I’m a Survivor hello I’m Dr Beck whoa you are having a sleep problem bags under your eyes the puffiness it’s a good thing your daughter brought you in when she did she’s my wife I know I’m kidding I treat Sleep Disorders with a sense of humor it’s a boring line of
Work and all I can do not to take my own life I’m just grateful I’m not a dentist I happen to be a dentist ah once again humor I read your that’s good so tell me how this all started okay about 3 months ago uh Barbara Jean won this hamster at the
School Fair yeah I was the only one who knew how many jelly beans were in the jar you I don’t know how I do it it’s just a gift anyway I named The Hamster Elton because he looked like Elton John’s hair yeah so anyway we kept Alon in the
Bedroom right it’s just what you want every classy bedroom has a small rodent spinning around in a wheel an incredibly noisy wheel well I think I have your solution get rid of the hamster we take all major credit cards we got rid of the hamster
Yeah yeah Elton has his own room now way on the other side of the house where if something were to happen nobody could hear him scream he’s a rodent he doesn’t scream and he shouldn’t be wearing sequins anyway I still have trouble sleeping okay now look in situations like this I
Usually like to come to your house and watch you sleep unfortunately I’m wearing an ankle bracelet and cannot leave the premises once again humor so yeah I’m going to give you this video camera and I want you guys to record yourself sleeping well fortunately our bedroom’s already set up for the taping
Humor yeah not so Much hey Mrs H if I get done with all the Fon you gave me can I go to the broker’s open oh man I don’t think you’ve had time done what I finished the filing you do realize it has to be alphabetical yes okay quick what comes
Between G and I trick question nothing wrong A B C D E F G H look if you got it done that fast you probably did it sloppy and made mistakes I want you to refile them oh come on Mrs H I’m not a a child Mr
McKenzie Mrs H won’t let me go to the broker’s open and I finish all the filing she gave me and everything Rea is this true yes because there’s plenty of work for him to do here that he’s more suited for can’t believe you went over my head Mr Mackenzie she’s saying I went
Over her head if you do that one more time okay okay stop I’m saying it’s her fault I didn’t finish all my please please but he said getting headache knock it off now do you you want both of us to knock it off or just her all right now look people are
Complaining I’ve asked a therapist to come in I want you both to talk with him tomorrow thy yes therapy you’ll go in you’ll talk it out maybe I can get this little vein to go back into my forehead oh with all due respect sir we don’t need therapy let me put this
Another way you’ll go see this guy or you can both look for another job well if she’s not not going to be here I mean got it yes sir good thank you I see what you’ve done your fault it was your fault it was not it was too it
Was all your fault not was not shut up I don’t want to shut up I can still hear you it’s fault What are you doing I’m arranging my emotions alphabetically forget it look I am very busy so whatever this guy has to say let’s just go along with it so we can get out of here but I have issues van please I am not in the mood very closed
Off hello you two must be Reba and Van hello how do you do I’m David Merry Christmas Dave and a Merry Christmas to you but my name is David my name is not Dave I don’t know why people think they can call me Dave even here I said hello
My name is David and yet you call me Dave please my name is David okay I’ve been going over your files and I’ve read that you have been bickering a lot lately let’s talk about that well I don’t know if you call it it’s just that
We just we disagree yeah we disagree for instance I would call it bickering it’s not bickering it is bickering it’s not is too okay okay okay okay okay just take this one at a time okay well I’ll go first B why don’t you go first thank you
Now when it comes to working with Reba how do you feel well I feel intimidated [Applause] I feel undervalued I feel I I I feel at bad you had to write down that you feel bad Rea please go on B I feel that no matter what I do I can’t get any respect
From her respect re and and and I I feel like I’ve done very well and I’m grateful she gave me the job and all but I want a chance to shine too but I can’t because she gives me all the meaningless boring stuff and keeps all the really cool stuff for herself
Like the Flyers okay I got to talk now okay okay re all right very good van you hear that van good job okay first of all all the stuff that van sees as meaningless is really very important and as for the Flyers van I had to make an executive decision
Because your smile is very frightening it is not frightening it is is this frightening to you look van I’m not here to judge this okay all right he hey okay all right and I I just feel because I I married her daughter and and I live with her
Wait wait wait wait you’re her son-in-law and you live and work with her yeah really oh yeah I got shine pregnant 17 and my parents toown me so where else was I supposed to go well I’m smelling an article in Psychology today all right look the two of you
Clearly have trust issues and I mean who could blame you so here’s what we’re going to do this afternoon I want the two of you to switch tasks what yes Victory I win therapy all right Van van this isn’t helping but I have a full schedule full
Of very important things this is not a victory for Van this is just an exercise in trust and compassion exercise and trust trust me he’s an idiot Lia relax okay you go out this afternoon you come back tomorrow and we’ll talk about this it’s going to go a long way to
Fixing your problems all right now good luck switch and rolls interesting so I get to be irritable and hotheaded and I get to mess things up and be a big pain in the butt you know that’s just mean I’m going to tell Dave the last time it’s David do I call you B
Huh B huh huh B got it B good luck he needs [Applause] therapy hey sorry I’m late I was just finishing going over the tape oh can we get on with it I’m exhausted Brock had another bad night yeah and I think I know why okay first off do you always wear that to bed Mrs
Har oh that old thing I just threw it on but thank you Doctor dear Lord please bless Henry and Brock and reeba and Dr Beck and all the poor people in the whole world and all the people in jail yeah this goes on for quite a while
Now you see I keep my head down there dog you play Go no give me my remote okay let’s get to the [Laughter] sleep okay so here we’ve achieved rapid eye movement or as we call it the REM State breathing is regular Brock is drooling all is well until
Hello huh that’s funny yeah I bet that’s how I got this bruised but wait there’s [Laughter] more oh honey I’m so sorry yeah whatever the girl’s in the office love this next part you know what would be funny during this cartoon music oh honey don’t touch me I’m sorry
You know I don’t know why this could be happening it’s called Sleep rage seriously doctor why is she doing this to me well she must have some hidden resentments something her conscious mind won’t let her Express oh no no I love Brock now on the tape between blows it
Sounded like you were saying something so we isolated the audio and increased the volume and this is what we heard help oh Elton my hamster are you kidding me she’s beating me in my sleep because of a stupid hamster oh my God oh my love for my
Hamster has turned me into a monster so there it is she’s beating you in her sleep because she’s mad at you that’s it again we take all major credit cards well doctor what are we supposed to do about it oh this isn’t a sleep issue there’s a marriage counselor across the
Hall well the first thing I’m going to tell that marriage counselor is how my big strong man can take a Punch and as you can see we have a lovely wood burning fireplace great for stretching thank you Mr Montgomery I’ll take over from here hi I’m Reba Hart I’m the realtor for this property cheater I’m going to tell Dave it I don’t care and you’re blowing it
First of all there’s a big truck out front you’re running your open house excuse us she’s in therapy I Mrs H what are you doing here I was supposed to handle this I won therapy fair and square look fan I’m sorry you’re having issues but this is a business and I
Don’t have time to play Silly games when I’m responsible for this client’s home for your information these buyers are really interested they’ve been checking out the house for over an hour hey we’ll be right there sorry well then you should be even more happy that I’m here to help
You but I don’t need your help I need you to back off I’ve been nothing but responsible from day one really how about getting my daughter pregnant I already did oh I I I see what you mean good because you’re young you make mistakes yeah but I correct them I
Married Cheyenne didn’t I I’ve been a great father and a great husband yes F you are in part because I was helping you I was watching you but I don’t need you watching me Mrs H I’m not that kid that moved in four years ago I’m a
Little bit more on the ball F this is different we’re starting a new business we can’t afford any screw-ups our reputation is everything we can’t afford to let anything get past us but why do you think that I’m going to screw up because you’re new there are
So many tricks in the business that you haven’t learned yet I’m the experienced one so the buck stops here okay okay [Applause] [Laughter] [Applause] good luck with your open house fan [Laughter] oh [Applause] [Laughter] oh [Applause] Oh come on Dan please I really want you to go with me to the soup kitchen Cheyenne I’m going to the park and I’m playing football with my friends they’re not homeless but Clarence does live in his parents garage do you think you’re too good to hang out with homeless people yeah kind
Of plus I’m kind of busy honey that’s why we make such a great team see you are selfless me sell fish I don’t sell fish wouldn’t it be funny if I sold fish fine van go to your stupid football game but you’re always saying how you
Want me to include you in this part of my life and every time I try to you don’t want anything to do with it I only said that so you let me finish watching the game have fun with your hbos oh hey cheyen I’m off to St Louis
Yeah take my husband with you and leave him in that stupid Arch stupid she thinks the arch is stupid it is one of the seven wonders of the world it is not it’s one of the seven wonders of my world reer now anyway while I’m off enjoying
The Bowling Hall of Fame and the nation’s best live banjo music I’m going to need you to do some things for me around the house o rags in a match got it gosh you are funny huh why are you still single huh okay okay here’s my key and uh I
Just need you to bring in the mail and water my plants and most importantly feed and walk my husband three times a day what well I can’t just leave food out he’ll eat it all in the first day and then he’ll go hungry the rest of the
Week anyway Brock’s on this all spinach diet so it’s going to be real easy I’m not taking care of Brock I didn’t even like taking care of him when I owned him baby dog you better get a move on you’re going to miss your flight oh Bill
Wait I used to date the pilot I was a flight attendant for three months now boarding Barbara Jean my RS are planted in the past oh my life is changing fast who I am is who I want to be a single mom who works too hard who
Loves her kids and never stops with G hand hands and the Heart of a f I’m a Survivor oh the best thing about Barb Jean being out of town I don’t have to lock the front door hey Rea crap trust me I don’t want to be here anym than you want me here that’s impossible listen I I just need to borrow your hot water bottle I’ve told
You a million times you can’t use that thing as whoopy cushion right yeah no it’s for my back it just it seem I don’t feels a little off yeah you look kind of funny I do yeah I didn’t want to say anything cuz you always look funny are you laughing cuz that really
Wasn’t one of my better zingers oh no no I’m not laughing oh God it hurts oh serious come on I’m going to get you to the doctor oh no no no no no no no that’s not necessary now this will pass oh okay all right all right come on
Get in the car bad enough that I ignored her plants Barb kill me if you Croak oh excuse me could you help me oh sure you know you remind me of my first wife except she was really ugly oh thank you see I’m I’m volunteering here today and I was just wondering who to talk to well don’t talk to spit and Sammy I think the reason is
Self-evident hello there can I help you oh hi yes I’m Cheyenne Montgomery I’m here giv up my time I wanted my husband to come but he’s selfish yeah he doesn’t selfish sorry I’m nervous I just start rambling well that’s okay I wasn’t listening anyway it’s just uh it’s just real
Important that I get rid of my anger you know it’s important that I look happy these people have led miserable difficult terrible lives and my smile may be the only positive thing they’ll see all day perhaps in their lifetime hi welcome to the shelter hi Sammy oh okay
So what can I do I could serve soup or I could talk to the men or I could just be seen oh no dear that’s my job you can start washing dishes when that’s done you can clean the toilets what see I was I was just hoping for
Something a little more out front well you can clean up the vomit in the doorway is the kitchen that way uh-huh okay Smile oh you poor thing you you look terrible I do oh horrible how long have you been on the street well actually I was in the Park oh so young such a shame are you hungry yes I’m starving I’m always starving well I’m going to get you
Something to eat you come sit right here and I’ll get you something and I’ll be right back this place is awesome surprised more people don’t come here you remind me of my first wife back off pal I’m married F hey honey you look like the lunch [Applause]
Lady what are you doing here well I I thought about what you said and I felt guilty so I came down here to see if there’s anything I could do to help here you go oh thank you hey do you have any crackers Dan H don’t eat that soup that
Soup is for the hobos you know each other that’s my husband what the fish [Laughter] Seller come on in Dad what’s song Honey the doctor said your dad has a kidney Stone now it’s not dangerous and it will go away by itself but in the meantime it’s incredibly painful did you just giggle no I didn’t why would eat kidney stones oh
Honey he didn’t eat them it’s just that he got them by eating way too much spinach I knew it vegetables are evil jakay spinach is still good for you you just don’t want to eat too much of it cuz the minerals bu build up and it turns into glass that you pass through
Your [Laughter] Wier wow dad spinach does that yeah there’s an episode of Popeye you’ll never [Laughter] see I guess I’ll uh I’ll head home but there’s nobody there I’m no doctor but I think you need someone around when you shoot glass through through your wiener I’ll be fine buddy
Wa I’m going with him no you’re not but he needs help I know that’s why he’s staying here Brock you’re sick and you’re going to stay right here until you get to feeling better I don’t care how long it takes come on wait are you just saying this because
You’re looking forward to seeing me in pain no although it is a perk barbag have you boarded your flight yet yeah yeah I know you can’t hurry them up yes I’m sure if you had a gun that’d move a lot faster but you you shouldn’t say stuff like that out loud hello
Oh yes sir officer yes I understand by all means questioner well barbar Jean’s going to be a little late possibly 3 to 5 years late so it looks like our happy little weekend’s going to be a little bit longer than we thought oh oh here it comes again oh Mother of Mercy nothing
Feels like this oh please I delivered three children not through a straw babe you okay yeah for the time being you want something to eat oh God I can’t even think about food right now not even grilled cheese sandwich and tomato soup Reba’s famous grilled cheese sandwich
You still make it with mail of course what am I an animal all right I’ll see your three cans and I’ll raise you one left shoe what do you got hepatitis C and a full house again you’re like the luckiest guy ever homeless Joe oh oh Incoming excuse me when can I take a break when everyone has a home when everyone has a home oh God [Laughter] homeless hey shy you got any cans if I don’t start winning soon we’re going to be homeless hey Sho Tito B can I speak with you all
Right guys I’ll I’ll be back in one minute but remember if you need to take a bathroom break use a bathroom okay look F I am glad that you’re having so much fun with the residentially challenged but I am not okay for people who are supposedly starving they sure do
Leave Al lot of food on their plates honey what you’re doing is important work although you do have a piece of corn on your eyebrow well I am sorry van but I’ve been stuck back in that hell hole for 2 days straight cleaning up other people’s messes I was supposed to
Be out front not back in the kitchen where nobody could see all the good work that I’m doing well isn’t enough that you know you’re doing a good thing well I thought that it would be V but no it’s not I want everyone to know I want to be
Showered with praise I want them to lift me up on their shoulders or at least name a damn soup after me I don’t think volunteering works that way right maybe if it did more people would do it just thought people would like at least Pat me on the back or something honey sit
Down I know you feel like what you’re doing isn’t important and it doesn’t matter but without you and other people like you who do all the hard dirty work these people wouldn’t have a decent meal have have a clean place to go or one moment of the day to feel safe where
They can forget about all their problems what you do matters believe me I know I was once mistaken for a homeless person honey that’s so sweet maybe you could um buy me some flowers or something you know it’s like a symbolic gesture you got it a I’ll do even better
I help you clean the dishes a I’m next with the blonde don’t worry don’t worry he hit on me Too okay Dad I see you and cheyen and Kira when did we have a big red dog that’s not a dog son that’s your mom’s hair it was huge yeah okay we’re pointing out funny hair do look at this that’s what your dad was up to Jake have you ever heard of a
Mullet that is not a mullet that is too a mullet and you had a dur Duran t-shirt on that’s a double whammy you guys are laughing in all these pictures yeah yeah so how you feeling uh pretty good actually pretty good you feel like something to eat Hey listen why don’t
You sit down I’ll go make a something for a chance I got it and I’ll fill up your w water bottle while I’m at it thanks see son here’s the deal with a mullet business in the front party in the back sweet what are you doing making poker
Chips I am deep in the hole Mr H is still here that’s nice of you no not really you know I thought he was really going to bug me but actually it’s been kind of fun to tell you the truth I’m going to be a little
Sad when he passes that stone and has to leave yeah that’s going to be something when he passes that stone hey Mrs H ask you what’s so funny what’s so funny man he passed the stone yesterday what well I figure it’s okay to tell you cuz you’re getting along
With them so well anyway I better get to the shelter it’s beef stroking off night and I want to get line before spitting Sammy hey Rea why don’t we watch Jeopardy it’s about to start right it’s about to start Hey Jake won’t you go upstairs let
Your dad rest he’s in a lot of pain no not right now soon though I’ll see you later bud you know I was just in the kitchen talking about you your ears burning oh ow ow R wo wo that hurts ow as much as your kidney stone did when you passed it
Yesterday oh wait did I forget to tell you about that how can you be so selfish I made you soup I made you grilled cheese sandwich I was nice to you yes yes you were and that was the problem what the heck does that mean you know how
Whenever I’m over here we’re always throwing little Digs at each other yeah because you’re an idiot okay fine I’m an idiot but when I got sick those little digs stopped it’s like you said you were nice to me I was nice to you we laughed yeah but when we were
Laughing and being nice you were lying yeah okay fine look that was wrong that was wrong but look rebe just hear me out for a second here okay I realize that we failed as husband and wife okay I get that I accept it but the thing I miss
The most is our friendship and for the last few days it’s like we had that back again I know I miss it too you know it’s weird what’s stopping us from moving on and being friends again I’m back yeah right Brock thank goodness you’re alive unlike my plants thank you very
Much Reba well Barbara Gina had to make a choice save your plants or save Brock sorry I blew it that’s okay and just to show you that there’s no hard feelings I’m going to let you run the projector at my Meet Me In St Louis slideshow Extravaganza it’s tomorrow night 700 to
Midnight good deal I’ll bring you a big old bowl of spinach oh excuse me Hardon me are you Reba yeah yes I just won this house at a poker Game welcome to Barber jeene slideshow Extravaganza here we are pulling into Houston Intercontinental Airport or as some of you may know it George Bush Intercontinental Nal airport I thought we were supposed to park in this lot but we were actually supposed to park in this lot three tickets to St Louis
Please silly me forgot to take off the lens cap lens cap lens cap lens cap barbine that’s beautiful isn’t it it’s a picture of the postcard I saw in the airport now as some of you may know St Louis was once the shoe manufacturing center of the world so I thought it
Might be fun to take some pictures of our trip from the point of view of our feet here we are on the banks of the mighty Mississippi hoofing it to the Gateway Arch three tickets to the arch please re was trying to leave I am not I was going
To the bathroom there will be plenty of time for bathroom breaks during the first intermission you are so dead Brock oh this is a homeless guy I met lens cin hello there who’s this Happy Fella the St Louis squirrels were very friendly I thought this one looked like
A young Bobby dairo are you looking at me are you looking at me guess who’s here drum roll please W I didn’t hear you coming up the driveway would have given me time to hide oh we don’t play it outside that would be rude to the neighbors Henry
You’re a little loud isn’t it cute make sure he practices Rea practices won’t you go practice in the living room honey yeah there you go Barb jeene what were you thinking why didn’t you just bring him over here with a set of bag pipes Reba drummers get the [Laughter] chicks
Henry can you stop that for a moment oh he’s in the middle of his song how can you tell seriously Henry I’m getting a headache the music will help you Rea just let it wash over you I don’t want it to wash over me I want it to stop Henry knock it off
I guess the band took a little [Laughter] break my RS are planted in the past oh my life is changing fast who I am is who I want to be a single mom who works too hard who loves her kids and never stops with gentle hands and the Heart part of a
F I’m a Survivor I cannot believe you just yelled at my child that wasn’t yelling I was just trying to be heard over the drum solo well you’re very tough when you’re picking on a four-year-old Reba okay why don’t you try picking on me all right I’m not scared of you okay maybe a
Little look he wasn’t listening I was just trying to give him a little discipline yeah well you don’t get to he’s not your son you discipline Jake well of course I do Jake is my stepson technically you’re nothing to Henry then why is he here in my house why are you
Here in my house if I’m nothing to the both of you why are you always here well we’re here because we like you well I’m sorry okay if you’re going to keep coming over here and who are we kidding you are then I need to be able to do
Something about Henry’s Behavior fine but I insist you do what we do in our house we reason with Henry you reason with him yes I’m guessing he wins most of the time it’s not about winning and losing I mean if I stuck my fingers in my ears
And held my breath I probably win a lot too oh Barbara Jean I hear that same song and dance from the parent of every kid that acts like a brat brat yes okay so now you’re calling Henry names so you’re a yeller and a name caller but Henry’s the problem no no no
No no no I’ll tell you what the problem is the problem [Applause] is great that’s just what your brain needs needs less [Applause] oxygen what time is it guy time two men doing men things getting the primal thing going so what is on the agenda today something I guarantee
You’ve never done before dwarf tossing is it dwarf tossing you did not run a dwarf I had something a little more dignified in mind van we are going to a day spa yeah right what are we going to do get our nails done yeah manicure pedicure massage they call it the gentleman’s [Laughter]
Fancy uh Mr H I know this question is a little late in our relationship but uh are you gay men can care about their appearance too you know and we should be secure enough in our masculinity to spend the day getting pampered yeah but Mr H I need to
Do something that can get rid of all the tension and aggression that builds up during the week I mean when I used to play football I would get all my frustrations out then I got married I had to bury it down deep that’s why I need to go bowling or toss a
Dwarf trust me van the spa experience will change your life all right all right but they don’t mess with your hair do they cuz Julio would scratch my eyes [Laughter] [Applause] out Jak didn’t I tell you you can’t have your bat in the house what if we’re attacked what if I Tan Your
Hide then I can fight you off with my [Laughter] backat put it outside ding dong yes you are clever what would you have said if I would have said knock knock I would have said you’re a ding-dong no drum huh that is correct this time Henry is going to act like a
Little gentleman but just to be sure I am going going to give him a gentle reminder observe the Barbara Jean method of parenting you remember Henry the notorious s so the first pop of the hip hop says yo yo yo you got to put your best foot forward okay
No now Henry no it’s a bad word that is why mommy doesn’t say it okay so so why don’t you just say maybe okay no okay just run along the what’s wrong with you nothing’s wrong with her you rude lady you’re hurting me you smell like Rock’s
Feet I am making discipline fun see I communicate with Henry using puppets and Hip Hop I call it be good in the hood behave you’re B Banas make fun but it works see if he behaves for a day he gets a blue sticker and with seven Blue stickers he can
Trade it in for a star sticker and with four star stickers he gets to be the mommy for a [Laughter] day well my my daddy used to swat me with a switch and if I talk back I got upgraded to two more swats well that explains the
Temper no barar Jean that explains why when my daddy told me to do something I did it but that is so old school re there’s a whole new loving world to Parenting out there no no there’s a whole world full of out ofcontrol kids because their parents don’t tell them no
Well Henry is not out of control Henry did it tell you puppet to get a br Bruh Bruh Bruh broom okay boys what happened I was trying to put my bat outside and Henry grabbed it from me and swung it at me by the way strike
One oh Henry why would you do that I I I didn’t do it oh Henry Reba I am so sorry I am going to handle this right now thank you okay come here now Henry mommy loves you and we’re still going to go get ice cream
But if you ever do this again I’m going to have to take away a blue sticker okay now you consider this your first lamp warning first lamp warning he did something bad he should be punished Reaper that is not the way to handle this all the statistics show
That punishment does not work your way only encourages violence violence he just beat my lamp to death with this bat and if he ever does it again he’ll get the proper sticker penalty get out what what get out and take Chucky with you Reba he is just a child you cannot
Blame him for something like this oh I don’t blame him I Blame You bad behavior comes from bad parenting okay you don’t mean that I mean that and I mean this too time to go okay well I’m not leaving I’ll give you till the count of three one Rea we
Need to talk about okay I’m not a child [Laughter] three did you just spank [Applause] me that’s we’re talking back okay you know what we are out of here that’s the idea Jake have you seen the glue Elizabeth broke Mom’s picture frame and she’s so mad about the lamp I know she’s going to freak so tell her Henry broke it that’s
What I did what Yeah I broke the lamp Henry took the fall sweet hey guys mom Jake broke the lamp and blamed it on Henry hey you’re my sister you’re not supposed to R me out Jake why would you do that Henry never gets punished anyway so I figured
Why not blame him he gets ice cream I don’t get punished it’s all good no it’s not cuz you’re grounded for a week for breaking the lamp and another week for lying to me two weeks I have Josh’s birthday party next week you shouldn’t have lied to me it’s not fair
You keep mouthing off at me young man you won’t see your birthday I hate it here yeah I hate that I had to apologize to Barbera Jean what’d you do to barar Jean oh I spanked her what happened to my picture frame Jake broke It hey so you did the warm milk bath huh how was that oh man it was terrific yeah hey did you know if you pass gas and milk the bubble takes like forever to reach the surface you should try it in a mud bath I don’t even know where it
Goes oh I’m really starting to get into this Mr H good guide time selection thanks pal hey you know what you should start calling me Brock really yeah well I guess I could try that Brock sounds weird you’ll get used to it no I mean you have a weird
Name sounds like a parrot Brock Brock see I’m so relaxed that doesn’t even bug me it’s like a bird that warns of danger bro bro yeah okay van hey hey hey all come on oh so van wouldn’t I right is’t this great oh you know I have to admit
It I have kept my masculinity intact and my skin is glowing I look like a god yeah and you haven’t even had the massage yet okay I’m Robert I’ll be your mour thanks running a little bit late guys make yourselves comfortable I’ll be right in all right
Uh hello I thought we were going to have women rub us no no guys are stronger true they’re also guys man trust me look you just admitted that I’ve been right so far besides what are you afraid of that if a guy rubs your back you’ll turn gay
No but what if I like it who’s first him no no no van you go Hank is my guy okay then any problem marous no no I just needed to lie down thanks Rob van look give him the Deep tissu shatu what yeah hey hey can we oh oh oh there’s the
Spot yeah yeah you know what I’m going to have Hank through a little extra on my upper back I mean my shoulders are all knotted up from picking up Henry you know kids are funny when I pick up Henry and then I pick up Elizabeth she feels
Li as a feather yeah she’s just a little bit of a thing huh she’s cute as a butt yeah so is Henry though oh we’re lucky to have such great kids I can’t imagine life without them but you know they’re lucky too van they’ve got two great dads who love [Laughter]
Them excuse me are you crying no well you don’t have to stop rubbing oh I’m sorry I just always get choked up when I hear people talk about their kids it’s like the one thing in my life I really feel like I’m missing yeah well you’re young you got plenty of time yet
Oh I want to adopt but Peter worries it’ll be too hard for a child grow up with gay parents but look at you two Rock I mean I realize people could be hurtful and ignorant but H we have so much love to offer a child meeting a gay couple who are so
Happy it’s like a miracle you guys are perfect you know uh Robert uh we’re not exactly uh perfect yes you are you’re perfect because you love your children that’s all anybody needs to do God bless you yeah well right back at you Robert oh it’s so great that you two still find
Time for each other that’s the key to a good relationship Peter and I call that our guy time [Applause] [Applause] Yes officer I’d like to report an assault yes my husband’s ex-wife spanked me well she’s a redhead and I’m a Blonde but what does that have to do with anything she’s here send help it’s okay Barb jeene I’m here to apologize mhm well an apology won’t take
The red marks off my snowy white bottom oh come on we both knew that the spanking was coming sooner or later but you didn’t deserve it today because apparently Jake was the one that broke the lamp really yes and it’s painful as it is for me to admit to you that I was
Wrong and it is painful very painful I just think it’s right that I’d be very honest with you you deserve that oh yeah and I’m going to start giving Henry the benefit of the doubt because I’m sure it was Jake that did most of the stuff that I’ve been blaming Henry for oh
Reeba oh this is why I’m all my clothes smell like barar Jean get no you don’t understand Jake’s an angel Henry is the D just what oh he’s done tons of awful stuff at your house that we blamed on B the overflowing toilet the oven the dent in your
Car Henry did that with his head and he steals Rea here here’s that earring you’ve been looking for I put it back three times but he keeps taking it Barbe you you need to do something to hindry him when he misbehaves you have to discipline him with with something
Other than blue stickers well the blue stickers are for when he’s good the red stickers are for when he’s bad although I’m thinking of getting rid of the stickers Al together you know I might just give him money you need to be firm with him mean
Almost yeah but then he won’t like me would you listen to yourself you’re not supposed to be your kid’s friend you’re his mother it’s your job do you think Jake is very happy with me right now he did something wrong and I had to punish him I had to be
Strong even though he told me he hates to be with me R but Jake didn’t mean that well fact of the matter is my little man is very mad right now and although I know it’ll pass in time it’s a very hard thing to hear Rea it’s okay I’m okay just let it
Out I know no you’re a little man you he loves you know he Does just like you know I know that Henry would still love me if I had to tell him no sometimes even though I know how much it hurts when he’s mommy for the day and he tells me no oh God why is being a mother so hard I know
I hate it you know I love it but I hate it he’s Awake
source
