🅽🅴🆆 Hazel 2024 🍓Dorothy Takes a Trip 🍓 Hazel Full Episodes 🍓 Hazel 1961–1966

But why is she moving in with us because we invited her to Harold your cousin Grace is all alone in the world now son and we’re going to try to help her find a whole new life for herself well I have to play with her of course not she’s

Hazel’s age I thought cousins were little kids well she’s really my second cousin son so that makes her your second cousin once removed what does that mean oh boy well your cousin Grace is my father’s brother’s look really it means she’s distantly related be going about an hour bye darling drive carefully I

Will come on son you want me to go to the airport with you no Harold I want to talk to cousin Grace on the way back what about well plans for the future what she wants to do oh here you are dad do you think it would be nice if

I had the candy already and open for her well that’s very thoughtful of you son but I really believe she’d enjoy open opening it herself oh bye Dad Bye and you’re welcome for just as long as you want to stay Thank You Dorothy I’ll try not to be any trouble oh don’t be silly and Grace this is would you mind calling me Gracie George that’s what Papa always called me wello of course not Gracie this is Hazel Burke our maid

And Hazel this is my cousin Gracie Baxter how do you do I’ll try not to be any trouble oh for Pete’s sake don’t say that it’s going to be fun having you with us I have a feeling that we met at Missy and Mr bees wooden well I’m not

Sure I was the one in the picture hat remember green with the lilocks on it a I’m sure she can’t remember a hat after all these years well I thought maybe she might it was real gorgeous every everybody was looking at me I bet you remember how Missy and Mr be looked

Indeed I do they were the handsomest couple I should say they were and look at missy she ain’t changed a bit you certainly haven’t Dorothy oh well that’s not true but thank you just the same and look at Mr be he must have put on 40

Lb hael I think you’re a fine figure of a man George well thank you very much Gracie now will you please show Miss baxer to her room yes sir if you’re tired after your trip perhaps you’d like to take a nap oh I never take naps Papa

Didn’t believe in them oh well then you come down whenever you’re ready we want you to make yourself completely at home oh thank you Dorothy I’ll try not to be any trouble oh for heaven’s sakes Gracie Gracie we are very happy to have you with us the only thing we insist on that

You’re not be late for meals Hazel well what I meant is you know I like to serve everything hype and hot I won’t be late Papa always insisted upon promptness and everything oh terrific come on I’ll show you your room if you don’t remember my picture hat maybe you remember my dress

It was a yellow chiffon had 12 yards of Ruffles on it gorgeous I made it myself cousin Gracie talks a lot about her dad doesn’t she well she took care of him Harold until about 6 months ago why didn’t he take care of her he was wasn’t very well darling and he was

Quite old do you know that he would have been 92 on his next birthday Che did he leave her much George a little more than his personal effects they had been living on his pension but now that stopped poor thing what is she going to do I’ll try to find something

For her but she’s really not trained for anything she’s just a sweet gentle inoffensive soul I wish a little of her attitude would rub off on Hazel really you hit the m with your umbrella I sure did you know little Harold was only 10 months old I didn’t want no stranger

Kissing him but some of them politicians is pretty unsanitary what did the mayor do oh he yelled for the police and the crowd gathered news men photographers oh how awful oh no when the May saw the crowd he jumped up on a park bench and started making a speech

Praising motherhood oh was terrific I nearly voted for him myself now what would you like for lunch oh anything at all Hazel I don’t want you to go to any trouble oh do you mind my saying something Miss B of course not Hazel and I I wish you’d call me Gracie

Okay Gracie well uh what I was going to say was this you know you got this tendency to kind of run yourself into the ground you know what I mean and when people like people they want to go to trouble so as they’ll know they like

Them I never looked at it that way Papa always said that children should be that sounds silly doesn’t it well now that you ask me yeah you know you’re kind of my age and I ain’t exactly no spring chicken Papa had such a a strong personality a wonderful

Personality I guess you could say I’ve been dominated by him I’ve never really asserted myself well it’s about time you started now what was it you wanted for lunch come on tell me I’d like a a jelly omelette oh I love jelly omelets and I haven’t had one in years why not Papa

Always said sweets were oh I get it well you’re going to have one this noon boy and it’s going to be a doozy oh Hazel that looks delicious well I hope you like it there you are Missy do you wash your hands Boy Yes Asel

You was working in the garden Mr be did you wash yours yes Hazel and I don’t need any lessons in personal hygiene from you now will you please bring my lunch yes sir I don’t understand how she can speak to you that way George Gracie I’ve been fighting it for years after

All George is head of the house well Hazel knows that Gracie it’s just that she feels so much a part of the family that that she’s constantly stepping out of line well there you are Mr be oh that looks very good good Hazel now go on dig in everybody before it gets

Cold it’s delicious this is good Hazel oh Hazel it’s perfect well I don’t think it’s so perfect I can’t taste any jelly yours is plain Mr be you know he has this terrific weight Pro Hazel I want jelly in my omelet now Mr be will you please

Take that to the kitchen and put some jelly in it is that an order that’s an order okay you’re the boss but it’s just going to be a dab like DB I can’t believe my ears George she’s being nice to him because you’re here that isn’t what she

Meant I put up with it because well we’re very fond of her if any woman had spoken to my father that way why I don’t know what he would have done I fixed it Mr be so don’t you touch the jelly I’ll just put it over here in case

You want some more jelly on your omelette Gracie Gracie well now who gave you permission to call her Gracie oh I did George I asked her to oh would you rather I hadn’t George oh no of course not if it bothers you I’ll ask her not to Gracie it doesn’t matter at all

I can just barely taste a jelly she said a dab George here George help yourself you should have things the way you want them my goodness you’re the man of the house yes yes yes I am wow you know Gracie you’ve opened my my eyes with your help I think we can open

Hazel there’s going to be a new regime around here George Yes she’ll be bringing in the coffee any second oh Gracie would you put this at the other end of the table can I go bowling twice a week really sure and over the weekends I go

Roller skating or maybe I play a little volleyball at the Y that sounds like such fun my goodness I almost dropped it well suppose you did it wouldn’t be the end of the world anyways oh you don’t know how my papa was about that he was Furious if I broke a

Blade what else do you do oh well up until a couple of years ago I used to give the fellas jiujitsu lessons over at the old Larch Hall boy I sure hated to give that up it’s pretty strenuous oh sure the building inspector said the found just wouldn’t take it anymore excuse me

Gracie back to Residence oh hi mer I was waiting for you to call are you going to go to amusement park with me tonight oh for Pete’s sake if they’re going to have 12 dinner guests they ought to give you some help well maybe you can go next time bye

M you’re going to mus for tonight oh yeah it’s great fun boy maybe they won’t let me in I won so many Cy dolls last time how would you like to go along with me tonight oh I’d love to I haven’t been to an amusement box since I was a little

Girl it’s a date what have you been doing for fun well my main hobby was making po holders po holders Papa felt that sewing was a nice hobby for a girl but you know something Hazel it wasn’t much fun well we’re going to start seeing that you have a little

Hazel excuse me is there any coffee left oh sure want a cup no but George would he’s in the den oh well I’ll bring it in him Gracie uh are you too tired to go out tonight oh no no she’s raring to go oh wonderful well George pulled some

Strings and he was able to get tickets to tonight’s lecture at the University on Oriental art oh that was very nice of well he thought you’d enjoy it wait a minute Gracie which do you want to go to the lecture or to the amusement park well if George went to all the trouble

Of getting tickets no I said which do you want to go to well the amusement park but if GE then that’s where you’re going to go I’m sorry Missy but I asked her first okay well of course George won’t mind we just want you to do anything that’ll

Make you happy graci thank you Dorothy we’re going to have a ball you know what I want to do I want to ride the roller Coaster why are you riding tole Robert it’s not Christmas son I do write to him other times I’m writing to ask if he has a place in his bookstore for cousin Gracie I thought you called The Flower Shop about a job I did son but it seems that

Cousin Gracie doesn’t quite have the qualifications now would you mind running into the living room okay George uh I asked Gracie about tonight oh good well she said she’d rather go to the amusement park with hazel if you don’t mind well I don’t mind of course

It’s a little hard to understand but I don’t mind I mean if she wants to go out with hazel I suppose we should be grateful she may file off a few of Hazel’s rough edges and then what did you dream m Three Blind Mice Three Blind Mice Three Blind Mice blind See How They Run See How They Run they all ran out the [Applause] World they they all after the such in your life Mitch Mitch Miller yes Mr B would you mind hold it hold it everybody

See who in the world is that is that you Charlie yes Hazel that’s Charlie BR from the dry cleaners oh George we’ve been having such fun well Gracie I’m glad hey Hazel let’s do faka we are not going to do fra jaak who’s that this is Mr Baxter

Is this gravy on your brown suit I don’t know what it is have it clean Gracie I I think it is gravy Mr Baxter all right Gracie I don’t mean to spoil your fun but I’m trying to write a letter and it’s very difficult to concentrate with

Singing going on right outside the door oh George I’m terribly sorry I don’t know how I could have been so thoughtless well Gracie it’s not that serious no of course not do you think Mr be some kind of a grouch he’s got a to singing voice himself oh Bonnie I want

You to meet Miss Grace Baxter Mr be’s second cousin this is Bonnie Hatfield he ain’t married how you do why don’t we all go out in the kitchen and have a cup of coffee will it disturb anyone if we sing out there oh of course not Gracie oh

Good we’ll do faka and Ro roo you vat I know one called Mr finegan do you Mr Hatfield I wish you’d call me Barney I will if you’ll call me Gracie C oh Bonnie you have you been to the amusement park lately not lately no Hazel maybe you’d like to come along

With us tonight gee I’d like to I can’t wait to get on the roller coaster I want to sit in the front car you were so right George Gracie’s going to make a great change in Hazel how is Hazel going to change dad well son I think that through exposure to

Cousin Gracie’s quiet manner Hazel will that’s cousin Gracie isn’t it uh Yes I guess she’s leading her isn’t she Dad yes boy Hazel’s crowed Already oh that roller coaster was such fun what do we do now well let’s look for hazel oh look there she is I wish you’d stay away away from here Hazel I told you I didn’t want to shoot tonight you called me over and dared me

To shoot backwards sure I was trying to break even I never saw such luck it ain’t luck I’m an expert rifle shot I’ve been shooting like that since I was 9 years old hi Hazel oh hi Grace did you get enough of the roller coaster how’d

You like it it was wonderful we were in the front car and I felt free as a bit oh well well what would you like to do now come on you want to try shooting this booth is close to you Hazel I told you I didn’t want to shoot tonight I’m

Just bringing you some customers oh how’s about it folks test your skill win a Cy doll uh I don’t think so guns frightened me well why don’t we go to the next Booth they got slingshots oh that might be fun see you later Mickey don’t hurry

Back hi Smitty look Hazel I asked you as a person I don’t want to shoot I was just asking my friends if they want to Hazel you’re a pal what do you say folks three shots for a quarter go ahead Grazy well all Right you better take down those please why I might hit one that’s the object lady that’s the target but won’t they break oh we can afford it lady they’re not that easy to hit go ahead Grace see all right here goes it he your did good shot Gracie I

Hit it and I broke it and I smashed it into a th000 pieces oh sure you did oh that feels good give me another Marvel sure I broke it and I smashed it and I busted it and I smashed it gra take it easy that feels so good give me another

Marble here you go lady I did it again what’s the idea Hazel who is this D some ringer oh don’t be silly I want to shoot another quarters worth well all right hey Hazel yeah what do you want Mickey come here minute will you what do you want if

You’re such an expert rifle shot let’s see you do a little shooting from the hip I told you I didn’t want to do any more shooting tonight listen Hazel give me a chance to break even oh for peace come on Hazel fair’s fair oh all Right I wish you’d stay away from here Hazel nine in a row beautiful Gracie I’ll take another quarter’s worth you will not I don’t know who you are lady but I wish you’d stay away from here I lay awake for hours trying to find an answer it’s very unlikely Uncle Albert

Will have a place for her she simply hasn’t the personality to be a sales lady anyway I’m afraid you’re right George she can’t take dictation she can’t type and she certainly can’t do factory work oh no that would be out of the question I guess we’ll have to

Accept the fact that from now on she’ll be living with us will you mind well it would be honest to say I’m Overjoyed but she’s nice George and I think we’ll get along just fine thank you honey I’ll talk to her after breakfast shall we uh [Applause] Go morning cousin Gracie good morning Harold we’re having pancakes this morning oh boy that’s my favorite breakfast don’t for the folks Grace I’m all ready sure Hazel Dorothy George breakfast did you wash your hands Harold yes cousin Gracie then sit down good morning morning gra well how

Was the amusement park last night oh it was terrific you two sit down I’ll P the thank you Gracie that tie doesn’t go too well with that suit George what that tie oh well maybe it doesn’t I’ll uh change it after breakfast I think a red room would look

Nice maybe it would uh would you pass me the sugar Gracie please if you don’t mind George from now on I think I’d like to be called Grace oh well anything you wish Grace I think it’s sounds more grown up than Gracie don’t you darthy well yes I think I do

George isn’t that the third Spoonful of Sugar you’ve put in your coffee yes but don’t give me a away to Hazel you’re not fooling Hazel George you’re only fooling yourself it’s no wonder you put on so much weight by the way darthy might I borrow your car after

Breakfast uh well yes Grace of of course hey as’s giving me a lead on the job and I don’t want someone else to get their fist a job what kind of a job the maids quit over at the dun Hills the maid are you sure you want to be a maid Grace oh

Very sure Hazel says It’s a Wonderful Life don’t you Hazel oh sure especially if you’re lucky enough to work for nice people like the dun Hills or the backers well thank you Hazel the main thing is starting off on the right foot well that’s important in any job sure you

Tell them right off you want want your regular day off and you don’t want any unexpected guests for dinner easy on the syrup Mr be and that you won’t wash no windows and you want your own television set I’ll remember that tie don’t go with that

Suit Mr be I know Hazel told me Grace told you oh yes it’s hard to tell him apart Oh good morning Hazel oh hi R hey those sure a good-looking bats good downon they’re my present to Mr and Mrs bter on their last anniversary had a madeup Special Y I want your honest opinion Rosie if you don’t think it’s becoming just say so I thought maybe you folks wouldn’t be going up to the lodge this wether on the account of Mr back our hand I’m surprised he didn’t use it as an excuse you know he ain’t much for win sports

But got to say this for Miss B he not want to deprive his wife and child you like it oh I don’t care what it cost you it’s worth it if that fell up at the lodge Johnny Manson if if Johnny menson doesn’t propose to you

When he sees you in that outfit he never will oh Rosie Johnny’s a nice fell and he’s a lot of fun in a dog sled race but oh I ain’t interested in him romantically oh give me a great OFA to take that with no I never even thought

Of him that way I like the brainy type oh h of course he’s a real terrific athlete and he’s a nice fell and he’s kind of good looking outdoorsy sort of a way but G Rosie do you think maybe I am sweet on him a girl

Done by herself an outfit like that just to keep warm well I must say I was looking forward to riding in that dog SL race with Johnny but oh no take his dog sled away from him and nothing back to resin long distance from me snowman’s l

Oh hi Johnny you yeah yeah that’s me you’re blushing long time no see you know the race is Wednesday and I wasn’t sure you was coming up this year oh I wouldn’t miss being in the Big R for a barrel full of $10 bills me and the backers leaving on Sunday yeah well

We ought to be there by noon we could get in a trial run before dinner you well that’s what I thought I better call you about hey you remember Min ma a redheaded waitress soall oh yeah I remember her what about it well you see

I wasn’t sure you was coming up till I got your letter and I sort of half promised Min that she could write for me and and Min lost a lot of weight this past year well I ain’t no heavy weight I never was now Johnny you know if it was for the

Good of the team I’d stand aside you know that all I ask is don’t make up your mind until I get there we both get on the scale I ain’t asking too much is it no I I guess not Hazel okay that’s a deal you and V can fight it out on the

Scales just a minute we’ll see you on Sunday and give my best regards to the team tell them I’m bringing up some bones I’ve been saving them in the deep freeze all year bye Johnny how do you like that she ain’t even a real red head so what are

You going to do these Duds must set you back a whole week’s wages I’m going to protect my investment I better get up to that LOD in a hurry surprise surprise candy apples no thank you Hazel they sticking my teeth oh they ain’t for you anyway there for

Your dad than thank you Hazel I thought these were a lot of work they are considering you’re the only person that likes them oh come on now Hazel you know you like them too oh Missy understands us girls have to think of a figure no they’re all for

You the way I look at it is the man that does as much for his family as you do always putting their pleasure ahead of his deserves a little spoiling once in a while thank you Hazel thank you very much gu who I was talking to today

Johnny Manson you remember him him and me won that dog race last year oh yes talking to him on our phone oh don’t worry about the bill Mr be he called me he says the snow is right up at the lodge now but there’s no telling what it

Might be in a couple of days and I know how you look forward to that ski run so I got a great idea instead of leaving on Sunday I don’t we leave tomorrow night right after Mr be comes home from the office that’ be fun what do you think

George that way Missy could get in two extra days at the ski run you know how she loves it me too boy let’s do it that what do you think George I think Hazel’s idea now don’t say no till you think it over I think Hazel’s ideas a very good

One George you’re wonderful two more days on that ski slope you sure a good day there is one little hitch I can’t get away there some very important work I must do this weekend darling why did you let us think we could go when you

Didn’t mean it you can go you can take the train up tomorrow right after school is out now you’re talking angel and I can go up Monday or Tuesday very lates D George you’re not thinking of backing out all together are you me darling if your hand is bothering you

We can put it off a couple of weeks I told you I wouldn’t mind it’s not my hand I can deal cars and that’s all I ever do there’s play peanuckle all right we’ll cancel our reservations and as soon as your hand is Welling to play golf we’ll go to Florida

Darth we go through this every year believe me I’m crazy about winter sports as long as I can watch them from the inside No George I have been looking forward to it but and don’t you worry about me hazel will take very good care of me won’t you

Hazel oh sure so it’s all settled you go on and I’ll try and make it by a Monday don’t worry Missy I won’t let him back out all right I’m counting on you Hazel and I don’t care what measures you have to use very well George I’ll do it [Applause] [Applause] yippe hi Mr B the folks get off all right yes they should almost be there by now Kind of Lonesome around here already yes sure is I’ll have dinner whenever you want to serve it Hazel you can sit down right now good yes sir this place seems Mighty

Empty without little Harold and Missy you’re a lucky man Mr be to have a wife and a son like them I appreciate my good fortune Hazel yes sir you got the sweetest prettiest wife in this whole town yes I have and little Harold what a kid he just worshiped you

Yes for pretty good buddies all right seemed only yesterday he had to use a high chair no time at all it’ be all grown up and gone to college and out of this house for good well read your paper Mr B it’s better than staring at the empty chairs

You remember my friend Rosie Hamer don’t stand up while Miss’s away Miss ham has kindly agreed to stay with us stay with us and chapero chapero you and me both know that a man with a young pretty wife like Missy ain’t going to be making no sheep’s eyes at me

An unmarried girl can afford to take no Chances with a Repetition yes sir he close door excuse me a minute Rosie Miss B has something confidentially wants to say me sure thing Hazel now Hazel I know you’re disappointed about not going to the the lodge is Mrs bter oh that’s okay it’s only till Monday ain’t it well of course

Uh but I want you to know that if the worst should happen and I should be able to get away at all I fully intend to make it up to you how a $10 bonus well that’s very generous of you Mr baxton but how you going to make it up to Missy

You know she ain’t going to have a good time without you in there well I and how are you going to make it up to yourself I got an Nole here I want to read to you according to this article a winter vacation adds to the life expectancy of a man

3.8% a man your age can’t afford to throw away no 3.8% the happiness of his wife and child devoted servant that’ll be enough okay I’ve had my say wait a minute she’s not the one that plays the harmonica oh no sir she’s the one that yles Rie look a few B Ho ho ho Ho Rosie you want a cup of coffee Mr Bee how dare you wake me up at this hour of the morning why I thought you’d want to get up early now whatever gave you that idea well maybe I’m wrong but I thought you wanted to get busy on that case

You’ve been working on so we could get to the lodge as soon as possible Rosie would you get Mr Bee a cup of coffee sure thing Hazel I don’t want a cup of coffee I just want to know what you think you’re doing waking me up at this

Hour of the morning cleaning house black and no sugar I thought it’d be a good chance now that Miss and Har were away as long as you’re bringing it Rosie you might as well bring one for me plenty of Cream I’ll bring yours up to You she mother it isn’t even dark yet no arguments no I want you to have a good hot bath before dinner okay are you going to give me another ski lesson tomorrow Pat I certainly am Harold boy I should wish my dad was here to watch me

Coffee Royal two are you expecting your husband soon well expect is a little strong he said Monday or Tuesday but George isn’t fond of winter zorts oh he’ll come all right I sent a postcard yesterday telling him to and I sent one to Hazel too that was thoughtful of you

Darling let’s hope they get here before the cards get there now you run on up this okay um that’s just coffee Royal that’s right thank you oh pardon me is there a waitress here named ma oh I’m Min good I have a present for you from Hazel B Hazel they’re a specialty of

Hazels Candi apples I can’t eat them they just put on PS Couple postcards from Harold special delivery listen to mine dear Hazel mother made a good friend her name is Pat she is the one who teaches you how to ski I made a snowman he looks like you come quick before he melts love Harold doozy and there the one who his dead Pat

Is teaching me how to to ski mother says if you knew how good looking Pat is you’d come up here quick mother and Pat make jokes all the time love Harold that sounds like the mister do you want me to start yoling now no thanks Rosie this holds for something

Drastic I can say if you pull this one off you ought to write a book oh I got to pull it off Miss’s depend on me and she said she didn’t care how I did it hi missing How do you look the way I rearrange the furniture I don’t that’s difference between men and women so put back I was just trying to give Missy a little surprise put some excitement in her life well don’t say I didn’t warn you warn me what are you driving at I’m

Talking about what can happen to a marriage I’m not mentioning any names when folks don’t take their vacations together but but I guess it can’t be helped if you got to work you got to work exactly and if Missy gets lonely and bored up there at the live without

You she just got to make the best of it oh you got a card today from Little Harold card special delivery Dear Dad Pat is teaching me how to ski mother says if you knew how good looking Pat is you would come up here quick mother and Pat make jokes all the

Time time love Herold well she doesn’t sound too only he must be the new ski instructor well I’m glad she’s made a new friend so quickly oh sure Missy and the ski instructor would have a lot in common you want to phone her tonight no she said she’d phone me about dinner

Time well I got things to do in the Kitchen how you doing oh if this don’t work I’m a Gana if what doesn’t work I’d be ashamed to tell you Rosie why don’t you call up a bunch and see if you can’t stir up a party you know for when I get act in town are you sure the mister

Won’t mind me tying up the phone that’s the whole idea your voice down I don’t want him to hear You say you knew how good looking Pat is you’d come up here quick The line’s still busy I’ll try again later uh Mrs bter you remember me Johny Manson a captain of dog sled number three oh yes of course you’re Hazel’s friend you know Miss Brom oh yes Hazel uh ain’t with you this season well she’s driving up with my husband oh where are

They going to get in Monday I hope maybe Tuesday oh I don’t know if I can hold it till Tuesday come on now you promise to show me your fiance’s pictures okay oh goodbye Mabel nice talking to you sure you don’t want me to help you

No why don’t you call up Hilda yeah I haven’t talked to her in a month of Sunday shouldn’t you ought to be in there working him over no it’s like a stew you bring it to a fast boil and just let it simmer M’s busy it hello hello Dorothy hello

Hazel Hazel it’s for your friend she got it Mr be will be too much trouble toie make it snappy Mr be is expecting a phone call from his wife thank you it’s funny she ain’t called before this no it’s nothing to worry about she probably forgot you know having so much fun and

All maybe I’d better call her just to make sure she got there all right oh we know she got there yes I guess we do I think I’m going to call her anyway she’s going to be Mighty upset when she hears the news unless you change your mind

About when we can leave heel isn’t a matter of changed my mind I don’t know when I can get away well all right then call her and give her the bad news if she gets upset well she’ll just have to get over it Hazel do you think she might be angry

With me do you suppose that’s why she hasn’t phoned oh there’s nothing to worry about your conscience is Clear I want to put in a person to person called Mrs George Baxter snowman’s Lodge outside of Greenfield number is clth 52638 Mr B how about a nice glass of hot milk no thank you well have her page please nothing like hot milk to calm the nerves my nerves are fine she doesn’t

Will you please keep trying operator she’s not in her room or she doesn’t answer the page oh well she’s probably out in the carrot looking at the moon with that somebody Rosie heat up some milk will you I don’t want any hot milk oh don’t let it boil yes that’s where

She is out in the Terrace there’s a full moon tonight and you can’t blame her only only what well well what even out on the Terrace you ought to be able to hear the loud speaker pag always nothing to worry about she’s probably just so interested in what somebody’s saying she

Don’t recognize her own name with J I might call to clamo 52638 I want to talk to Harold Baxter Rosie better make enough for all of us oh hi Dad when you coming up boy are we having fun that’s nice uh e your mother around uh-uh you should have been here this afternoon I been FR down for

Three whole minutes that’s nice uh where is she I don’t know boy pet you’re a good teacher you don’t know what do you think she is poty with P well I’ve got to go now I’m watching a movie thanks for calling me dad this is the first

Long called my very own I ever had I don’t want it this is ridiculous my wife has only been gone two nights you’re acting as if as if she ran off of the sea instructor what meant to be that silly just because she might be a little lonely drinking

Milk well how only can you get in 48 hours I knew a girl once met a man on the train on her way wiah they got off at Kansas City oh Ros Missy never do a like that milk I’ve never heard of such nonsense Rosie you better go out in the

Kitchen this is just for family operator me clth 52638 I’ll talk to anybody Mr B there’s nothing to worry about nothing to worry about you realize I haven’t heard from my wife in 48 hours maybe phone was busy but she could be lost and kidnapped lying out there in

The snow under an evance Anything could happen this is George beor and I want you to find my wife right now Mr I’ll ring her room and have her page that milk I’m sorry Mr Baxter well where is she what have you done with her like me

To try P brom’s room Mr backers one of the clerks thought he saw them yes pack my bag we are back oh he’s wonderful would you answer the phone please Dorothy hello George how did you find me up here wouldn’t Blazers are you doing up there is there a party no just patting

Me just Paton why aren’t you taking care of Harold Harold’s perfectly all right he’s watching a movie George is anything the matter doesn’t sound like himself at all Dorothy are you sure there isn’t a party no no party Paton I was looking some pictures George are you all

Right I am fine Splendid I couldn’t be better and I’m happy that you’re enjoying yourself oh I am I’m having a perfectly glorious time I’m just dying for you and Pat get to know each other you’ll adore her George are you there I’m here you are coming up aren’t

You you want me to of course I miss you you do you are all right aren’t you yes I I was just worried when I didn’t hear from you come as soon as you can all right darling I will she missed me hey hey she misses me Pete sake what are we

Waiting for Then well girls guess this is it huh who’s going to get on the scale first I’ll go first I got nothing to worry about would you mind hold my watch yeah 145 and in perfect condition till next 142 take your hand off his shoulder I was only steadying myself 160 Lb darling so sweet of you coming up here to be with me next year we go to Florida that’s a promise hey look what ain’t it a juy that’s beautiful congratulations Hazel you and Johnny ran a great race oh Florida and if we win it next year I get to Keep oh the black six on the red seven thank you Hazel and the jacket Club on the Queen of Diamonds thank you Hazel and the two on the Ace of space wouldn’t you like to just take over the game yourself oh no thanks Mr B it’s sort of like the story

Of the grasshopper in the ants our s has got work to do you grasshoppers just go ahead and enjoy Yourself H Oh I am here to tell you ha that new Gardener over to the Thompson is so good looking I can hardly stand it Rosie was telling me about him did you get to meet him with my luck and if I did it wouldn’t do any good you know how it is

With me hazel and the opposite sex they just turn tail and run oh you’re just exaggerating no it’s been like that ever since I was a little girl of course I wasn’t a little girl very very long I was Head Shoulders taller than all boys far back as

Kindergarten the only time they ever did pay me much mind was in high school they wanted me to play center on the basketball team there ain’t nothing you can do about it well I tried slumping but it’s very hard on the back oh sure well you just got to forget about it

Lori and concentrate on your personality well I don’t know never did seem to have much that oh sure you have you got a terrific personality the personalities is like gold you got to get in there and dig and dig and bring them out what do you use for a shovel

That night course over at the high school what night course it’s called you and your Dynamic personality you remember when Dela signed up for it oh yes sort of sure after 6 weeks of digging she ended up going steady with an assistant at the flower shop you

Hardly never see her now she’s not sporting day old Carnation nothing romantic like that’s going to happen to me oh sure it will seems to me that car should be starting up pretty soon why don’t you go over there and find out about it and sign up

Well I couldn’t do that Hazel why not it’s free well I just feels so funny sashing in there all by Lonesome oh well I’ll go with you the first night if it make you feel any better you know keep company would you Hazel oh sure maybe I

Could pick up a few ponies myself may I have your attention please I want to talk to you about the negative personality oh it is a poison make no mistake about that ladies and gentlemen a poison any of you are afflicted with the a poisonous personality do not despair because ladies and gentlemen

There is an antidote and that antidote is compl how do you spell c o m p l i m e n TS yes compliments admiration appreciation are they the keys to making people like you good morning Mr be morning Hazel my you look well this morning all brighted and bushy

Tail well thank you Hazel no wonder howold such a good looking boy takes after his dad three eggs six slices of bacon and S toast coming right up Dorothy this is a morning that is definitely not like any other morning no prune juice no skim milk no starvation portions for my

Waistline what’s gotten into her I don’t know George but this morning she asked me if I’d ever thought of picking up modeling hey you are Mr be hey do you know how many calories there are on a piece of Cinnamon Toast sure 125 yes but I thought what you’re going

To say Mr be but I caught you going upstairs the other night and you know those skinny bull fighters you know with the tight pants yes that’s what you kind of put him in mind of H that’s ridiculous I almost held leg oh H for your information I got on

The scales this morning and I’ve gained 2 lb oh well that’s just water content Mr be that don’t count as fat excuse me good morning back to Residence oh hi Rosie oh yeah it’s called Sheep her his bread you get it tell yeah delicious and special reason for staying home yes a

Very special reason Charles Parkin second cousin once removed oh the sponge I had a note from you yesterday he’s in town he’s coming by the office to take me to lunch and you know what that means it means he wants to take you but not to lunch that’s right well this time he’s

Out of luck that man has Mo his last dollar from me good for you darling I didn’t want to risk a face to face encounter with him you know that pitiful act always puts on I wouldn’t mind helping him but he never seems to lift finger to help himself George suppose he

Comes to the house I doubt that he has the bus fair oh Rosie before you hang up there’s been something I wanted to ask you what was that perfume you wore at the square dance it must have been expensive it wasn’t oh well then you got

A smart nose for bins I knew you cook fish for dinner that night but that perfume covered up so well I could hardly tell it was H okay Rosie see you around bye Hazel yes sir why all of a sudden are you handing out a lot of phony compliments what phony compliments well

Like for instance I have the build of a bull fighter now you know that’s silly the great ones is always motherest and you’re the greatest Mr be you always have been why years ago when Missy told me she was going to marry you you know

What I told her you told her she was making the worst mistake of her life Hazel I gave you a raise a few months ago so I know that can’t be it I want to know what you’re up to oh you must be talking about my new personality kind of

Dynamic ain’t it kind of ridiculous George oh never mind Missy he don’t know no better know no better than what than to go around spreading the poison of a negative personality hez zo oh but don’t worry there’s hope for him Mr goodart says that the antidote is compliments

And who is Mr goodart Mr goodart he teaches a class and developing the dynamic personality me and Lori went to the class last night Mr goodhart says you should never let the sunet on the day that you don’t make at least three people happier by paying them

Compliments and say I made three people happier already and we ain’t even through breakfast I have a feeling this is going to be a long Day oh I beg your pardon my fault what an interesting painting yes isn’t it it’s Italian I think it isn’t sign get it at Huffs no I found it a little out of the way Place had it fed here it’s lovely you’re very fortunate to have it

Oh it isn’t for me it’s for a client I’m a decorator Dorothy Bor I’m delighted to meet you Mrs Baxter I am Mrs Merryweather osbor I certainly admire your taste I’ll turnabout’s fair play because I’ve been admiring your hat have you really oh yes it’s terribly smart thank you so much

Frankly I wasn’t at all sure of it so I just had to take my courage in my hands or rather put it on my head nice meeting you Mrs urn Mrs bter justce SP of the moment thought have you had lunch no if you have no other plans

Can you join me at my house I’d like you to take a look at my living room I’d be delighted I was going to redo it myself but having met you I’d like some professional help over lunch perhaps I can get some of your ideas and an

Estimate of the costs naturally I think that’s a marvelous idea good I at 6857 wood long drive and I’ll see you there goodbye bye compliments Dynamite hello is this Shon the mayor well first of all I got a compliment for your secretaries they’re sure doozies that keeping the voters from getting to

You boy I must have been battling them for 15 minutes well now the compliment I got for your honor is oh I’m Hazel Burke no you don’t know me no I work for the George backers as a domestic engineer and the back is sure a pleasure

To work for what oh yeah well I just wanted to express my appreciation to your honor for the way the trash is being collected in our neighborhood oh you’re welcome your honor it sure was a mess before you hired that expert you know to figure things out all them crazy

Rules about the bottles going in with the papers with the non-combustible paper like tin foil going in with the cans and of course nobody even knew what to do with the bottle tops I used to give o to little Harold that’s the back to son yeah he used them

For oh yeah sure you’re honor yeah I’m busy too so I know just how you feel well nice talking with you and keep up the good work with the trash come on oh it sure give a nice feeling inside giving people compliments all day I’ll

Get my sweat up with you in a minute no Hazel maybe we hadn’t got to go and try and strike up an acquaintance with that new Gard not just yet why not for piz sake well I’ve only just had that one lesson in Dynamic personality and I oh

Don’t worry honey if you get stuck I’ll be there to help you Out he is just the side of him makes me go funny all over is he the best looking thing you ever saw in your whole life can’t get a very good look at him but he’s sure is all that’s what I mean that’s what I mean oh here he comes I

Guess we better no don’t you move a muscle just remember what I told you to Say hi hi there here afternoon I was just remarking to my friend Hazel here what I was remarking was that I have never seen a Thompson’s yard looking so so Dynamic yep well what I mean to say is Hazel here works for Mrs Thompson’s brother Mr Baxter and Mrs Thompson was telling him

That you are the best Gardener she has ever had yep and she’s right too because I never saw a prettier Garden even back home where I come from which is Colorado hey uh what I really wanted to say was that it’s real nice to have such a real nice

Man like you in the neighborhood y are you interested in sports just play basketball well then we’ve got a lot in common if you’d like to stop by for a cup of coffee I work for the enderson third house down in the next Block How do you think I did oh fine just fine do you think I made a dynamic impression well it’s a little hard to tell with that strong silent type you know it’ll probably take him a while to digest all them Compliments he would you please make me a pot of coffee oh sure thing Mr be it’s it’s always a pleasure to do something for a wonderful man like you he as I told you before I’m fed up to hear with phony compliments well you’re a wonderful man are you trying to say Ain

Yes I I mean no I hey yeah oh hi Dad hi son what happened to you I got in a fight who with Ernie nson what happened I was just doing what hael told me to do this morning and what was that you know what I told you about

Saying nice things to three different people well I said the not just so I could than of J Ernie even after he tried to make me mad well there’s nothing wrong with that oh what happened son well first of all he said my dick can look your dad oh what’ you say to

That I remembered what Hazel told me so I said yeah your dad’s so big and strong I bet he could even let Hazel oh you did that when we started fighting he said I insulted his dad because his dad never heit a lady well Hazel I hope this has taught

You something and then he said the next time his dad saw you he was going to punch you right in the nose oh for peace sake Harold we’re going over the lampster to put a stop to this thing before it goes any further I’ll have you

Coffee ready for you when you get back Mr be you do that and try to keep the sugar in the Sugar Bowl hold your horses I’m coming thank you that I forgot my key guess what must be something wonderful your eyes are shining like Christmas morning I have a job redecorating Mrs

Maryweather osburn’s living room oh swell Missy oh it’s better than you know Mrs Osburn entertains at least twice a week and that means that a lot of people are going to see that living room and that means a lot more jobs for the best interior decorator in town right and All

Because Of You Hazel me I don’t even know her if I hadn’t complimented Mrs alurn on her hat in the parking lot it never would have happened well no doubt about it Hazel compliments really work oh G I’m sure glad to hear you say that Missy I was beginning to

Think compliments wasn’t such a hot idea after all will you do something for me hazel oh sure anything there’s a Swatch of blue fabric in my workshop right next to the telephone will you take that to Mrs osbor while I deliver a painting where do she live at 6: 8 57 wood laon

Drve 6857 wood laon drve I’ll be back in about an hour bye Hazel Bye hello backer residence oh hi Lori oh well if you got butterflies in your stomach why don’t you just stop thinking about them oh yeah I know I I know how it feels it’s terrible did you try a cup of hot tea oh just a lot of wet butterflies

Flopping around huh oh uh sure sure Lori I’ll go with it to class again so long yeah is Mr backer home no he ain’t you a friend of his I’m his cousin Charles Parkins I come all the way out from the City just to say hello well for

Pete’s sake come on in Mr Parkins I’m Hazel pleased to meet you Hazel my this is a beautiful home oh you’re done toting so you’re Mr be’s cousin funny I never heard you before now we’re only second cousins once removed what you think Mr Bee would

Mention having a SW relative like you a PS don’t crawl often unfortunate well he’s going to be real happy to see you why don’t you come in the living room and take the load off feet thank you very much I had to take three buses

Oh Mr Bee will be back soon and then you and him can catch up on everything someone in this family has excellent taste oh sure Missy Mrs Baxter but we’re real lucky to have a good provider like Mr be oh he’s doing well is he oh you’re

Done too and he’s real generous with it well a couple of months ago he gave me a raise without my hardly even asking for it that’s interesting oh you’re a very lucky man to have a cousin like Mr Bee oh he’s a fine human being that that’s

Fascinating say you hungry oh I suppose I could use a little something to nibble on a steak sandwich perhaps or well I got to go on an ER for Missy so I won’t have time to fix nothing for you but I got to put coffee pot on for Mr B so

I’ll introduce you to the refrigerator you can rate it for yourself come on a palace that’s what you got here Mrs osbin a regular Palace well thank you Hazel you know we have a pile of old travel magazines up in our attic and this one that I was looking through the

Other day had a bunch of pictures taken at the palace of rale you know the one in France yes I know that’s what this room kind of puts me in mind of the Palace of sales you know that’s one of the nicest compliments I’ve ever had

Hazel makes you feel good don’t it inde it does you know I visited the Palace of vest versales and it’s probably one of the most elegant places in the world and you got yourself a little corner of it right here oh uh this is the swatch Mrs B asked me

To bring you oh thank you Hazel it’s been real nice talking with you miss hband but I got to get home and start dinner yes of course Hazel goodbye goodbye well so long for sales darling why don’t you go in the living room and relax because I want to

See her when she comes through that door I P her on several occasions but apparently wasn’t often enough to stop spewing out those phony compliments but now we hello oh yes Mrs osor did Hazel get with a Swatch how do you like it for the couch

What oh well yes Mrs osbor if that’s the way you feel that’s the way you feel oh yes of course I understand bye what’s the matter I want to see her the minute she steps in that door too boat gently down the stream oh hi

Folks I was just thinking as I came up The Path but a nice couple you were to work for always joking never getting mad at anything what’s the matter the water heater bust shut up yes sir Hazel you gave my cousin Charles quite a build up about me didn’t you oh

Yeah I did matter of fact you gave him the idea that I was practically a oneman Rockefeller Foundation oh no no no I didn’t say that what I said please spare me the details I just want you to know it cost me $100 to get rid of that Moocher

Are you finished George for the time being yes Hazel yes ma’am Mrs osbor just phoned about this watch about her Palace you were so compliment she isn’t going to do it over you mean you lost the job I mean you lost it for me oh compl sure can back fire

Huh you’re Mr back yes sir Zeke L Gardener for the Thompsons Hazel she’s right in here me yep took shine to you right off oh but you got it all wrong you was supposed to take a shine to Laura oh she’s something she’s got a terrific personality talks too much I noticed

That right off about her but she say a nice thing about you I don’t like false praise you admire the Roses oh yeah yeah they’re beautiful hope you don’t mind if I a carton and you kitchen no not at all see you this evening for Pete sake what am I going to

Do oh Hazel you’ll think of something you’re smart you’re imaginative you’re clever you’re fed up to here with phony compliments and that all you have to do I’m so nervous there’s nothing to get nervous about you just do everything I said and it’ll all come out fine

Oh hi Z my don’t you look nice just like something out of the photograph your section H I’ve come coton didn’t you have time to change oh well I don’t go in for dressing up myself anyway you’re fancy enough for the both of us come on

In well I didn’t expect to see you here sorry for pet sake do you look at how that suit sets off his shoulders did you ever see shoulders like that before in your life take it you don’t think much of them yep hey hey sit down won’t you

Zeke she staying yeah you don’t mind I don’t mind too much if she don’t mind staying would you like to say Lori yep nice girl if you’ll excuse me I think I’ll go watch a little Television Yep [Applause] yep back R underwear socks slippers oh get me a pair of your PJs there honey well can I handle can I take my roller skates no sport they’re just ain’t room that’s a boy well then can I take Smiley I don’t have to carry him oh no

You can take Smiley honey don’t you remember they don’t allow dogs in that apartment house your grandma stays in Hazel yeah how old will I have to be before I can do just what I want to do well I don’t know sport nobody’s lived that Long [Applause] [Applause] La there must be some way I can get to him do they realize I’m the senior member of this Law Firm we’ll send his secretary a present maybe she’ll at least let him know that I’ve been trying to reach him all week all right don’t say good morning because there’s nothing good about

It no progress yet with uh Mrs sley H progress he won’t even return my phone calls I’m beginning to feel like an ambulance Chaser Mr Butterworth how would you feel if I told you he’s coming to my house next Saturday night for dinner Addison sley the same man with

Mrs sley well I can’t believe it I’ve been pulling every string in town trying to George how did you manage it well I guess I live right I happened to be in Rockford’s Bookshop late yesterday afternoon when Mr suley came in and we got to talking about rare first editions

And uh skip the details George just tell me about sley how did you get him to accept a dinner invitation well I invited him you see he also collects rare books and he’s coming to see my modest collection incredible George do you realize what it would mean if Butterworth hatch Nolan

Baxter were appointed his legal counsel well so far they’re just coming to dinner the sley are so Ultra Ultra they’re practically antisocial oh he seems like a regular guy to me Regular Guy have you read the profile on him in the Sunday supplement 2 weeks ago no I’m

Afraid I haven’t he has a reputation for being the most eccentric demanding stubborn so and so that ever came down the pike apparently his wife’s just like him here it is listen to this Addison Sudley operates his industrial Empire in a high-handed manner with regard for

Nobody’s wishes but his own and those of his wife Lydia well that statement could apply to the news dealer in the lobby stubbornly willful he treats his Executives like office boys and has pink slip top management men for reason so capricious it’s a wonder he is able to hire men to

Replace them h no I didn’t get that sort of impression from him that dinner a week from tomorrow can be our big chance it could be a Triumph or a catastrophe well no one’s ever complained about Hazel’s cooking it’s not her cooking I’m concerned about the sley are sticklers

For the social amenities George no with them it’s the infinitesimal things that count do I have to spell it out for you George spell what out you’ll have to get rid of Hazel what just for that one night I grant she’s a fine cook but you can’t

Look me in the eye and guarantee that Hazel won’t do or say something to offend the sley before the evening’s over can you well that’s not the point it’s exactly the point give Hazel a vacation a trip but get her out of your house next Saturday well even if I could think of

Of of some way of getting rid of Hazel uh how would I explain this to Dorothy make her understand it’s a matter of loyalty to the firm George I don’t like throwing my weight around but I’m going to have to insist on This well Hazel hi Mr be I thought you was upstairs getting ready for the country club dance oh I still have a few minutes is any coffee you left oh no I just washed the pot but I could make you some no no no don’t bother Hazel uh how

Do you feel I feel fine why well you’ve seemed tired these last few days and well I was just thinking uh how would you like to have a week off oh I ain’t a bit tired besides I couldn’t afford a week off oh I’d be willing to pay if

You’ll go I I mean uh it’s a week’s vacation worth pay how does that sound oh well if you put it like that maybe I ought to think about it think about it well yeah you don’t make an offer like that very often you must have some

Reason what would I have to do to get it oh you wouldn’t have to do anything as a matter of fact I have the check all made out oh well that’s very generous of you Mr be when would I start you could leave tomorrow oh no I couldn’t do that well

Why not well I got to make plans you know I got to decide where I want to go and what clothes I want to take and like that it just wouldn’t be any f fun just rushing off without making any plans well how long will that take I mean if

You started planning right now you think you could be going by next Saturday oh no no I don’t think I could do it by then I don’t even know where I want to go does Missy know about this well no not yet but uh of course I was just remembering she’s depending on

Me for that bridge club lunch in on Friday I tell you what I’ll take the check now and then I’ll take my vacation later when I’ve made all my plans G Hazel what a smiley do while I’m away he’ll get lome oh don’t you worry none about Smiley boy with everybody

Gone who’ be here to keep me company now you get your coat on while I get something okay Hazel Harold I want I want you to give this piece of prun pie to your grandmother we had it at dinner and it’s our favorite wow Harold all set have you got all the

Things you want to take along no but I’ve got everything Hazel wants me to take along oh oh my you too look elegant oh thank you Hazel Mr be I think you better take your Coke too you know it’s liable to get chili coming home Hazel oh

Come on now and be sure you don’t sprain your back in the boson NOA contest like you did last time all right hazel good night come on har good night good night good night Hazel night well Smiley here we are like they say in the movies just the tour of Us the suley’s also have considerable influence in Washington friends in very high places yes George told me Charles tells me that George is the only one who’s ever been able to talk to Mr sley well actually uh like I always say there’s a really tough job to be done

George is a man to do it and if you handle that dinner just right we can become the most prominent law firm in the state now what have you decided to do about hazel oh darling that’s our favorite tune to recognize it will you excuse us shall we Dance remember this tomb no I never heard it before George what did he mean uh what do you mean uh what did he mean Mr Butterworth what did he mean what are we supposed to do about hazel oh well I think he’s concerned about what Hazel

Plans to serve for dinner uh the subes are exacting Gourmet you know he had nothing but talk about it all evening long you’d think we never gave a dinner party before well honey we haven’t for anyone this important well I don’t see anything to get so excited about you told me that

The main reason Mr sley was coming was to look at your books well that’s the way it started out but suddenly it’s the last of the night there are two outs a score is tied the World Series is at stake and I’m the pinch hitter now if I

Don’t belt a home run and win that game I’m shipped back to the bush leagues George that’s ridiculous well if you want any more go get your dish I bet you this guy don’t pick up that split he’s cutting it too thin you see left the 10 Pin well all right put it Down there you Are Chapman please deliver this to Mr Hudson at the airport his flight is number seven departing at 95 don’t just leave it there for him deliver it in person understand yes sir Mr Sudley you’re then free until 11:30 pick us up here at that time yes sir did

You still don’t see why you couldn’t have arranged to see his book collection without accepting a dinner invitation I’m really looking forward to seeing that Frank Edition such hospitable people they don’t even turn on a light so their guests can find their way of all the stupid places to put aside

Lovely okay okay keep your shirt on oh boy too much hook you’re going I knew it blew a simple old spare that guy just can’t stand Pressure oh don’t worry he’s real friendly his name is smiley is is this the George bter residence it sure is can I do something for you well uh we’re Miss Mr Mrs hudley oh I’m Hazel Burke I’m real pleased to meet you are you new in the neighborhood

Yes I mean no I mean we’re expected for dinner here tonight oh well come on in and Mr Mrs B I I mean Mr Mrs baxer ain’t even home really Addison he invited us for dinner and then forgot all about it well come Lydia the car is on the way to the

Airport remember oh are you sure he invited you for dinner tonight when I met him 2 days ago he said come for dinner next Saturday well this is this Saturday maybe he meant next Saturday I’ve told you once I’ve told you a thousand times may I please use your

Telephone to call a taxi I’ll make the social engagements all the stupid things letting the shaur go before you even know whether we’re we’ll discuss it later Lydia where is the telephone oh it’s right over here you better let me look it up for you how could you make such a ridiculous

Mistake I still say the mistake was backers not mine and if he can’t be more specific about so simple a thing as a dinner engagement ain’t no use of getting mad at each other you know just because somebody made a mistake it’s liable to happen to anybody hey ya Mr sley it’s ringing

Thank you hello uh would you please send a cab right away to 123 Marshall Road yes as soon as possible thank you well we’ll have to wait here until the taxi arrives a brilliant conclusion oh how did you tell your pants I tripped over that stupid sign outside oh I told

Mr B he set that sign too close to the walk an altogether Charming evening honestly Addison when you think of retaining an attorney just because he happens to share your interest in rare books uh would you folks like a drink why thank you I could certainly

Use one I’ll have a cup of Hemlock well I don’t know much about them fancy drinks but everything’s right in there on the tray so why don’t you just help yourselves and I’ll be back in a Minute oh Smiley someone sure pulled a beute Mitch hey yeah you know that call you got for a cab from here well just cancel it yeah thanks now I better call be let him know what’s going on Here you mean to tell me she refused a week’s vacation with pay not exactly well what exactly she accepted it all right uh she took the money now and plans to take the week off later oh for the lover maybe no I’ve got it hire a

Butler a butler here we are you folks must be starving no no no we’ll have dinner in town oh yeah where where you going to get a decent meal at this hour yes sisen where well uh now you see it’s all settled you’re going to have dinner here just

Like you planned no no we couldn’t oh sure you can we had beef stew for dinner and we got plenty left I got it warming on the stove right now oh really Addison what is that cab going to get here oh that’s liable to take a long time

Saturday night’s their big night you know and they don’t like to come away out here and miss all them extra tips from the short runs in town so just relax and enjoy yourself well you better have one before they get cold oh you go take that I’ll take this

One well I’m going to go out and see to a stew now say these are delicious try one I’d rather die first if you insist on eating those at least consider your Ulcer now there’s something they should teach in that dog training school you and Fifi [Applause] Attend [Applause] I have a heart Lydia give him one oh well what’s the matter what happened he swallowed my earring oh was it about the size of that one yes it it dropped into the dish and he ate it that’s all right that ain’t very big that won’t hurt Him now give me your pants Mr suley I beg your pardon oh I brought you this robe to put on while I’m mending that rip in your pants let’s see oh that ain’t too bad let just pulled apart at the seams I’ll have that done in no time

Oh that’s a gorgeous pair shoes you got on Miss sley but I can see by your face they’re killing you why don’t you kick them off and be comfortable that’s my motto I’ll be back in a minute for the pant I think I’ll faint a Dorothy how would you like to

Hire a butler next Saturday night a butler what for it would make a splendid impression on the suls and and I think that Hazel should have a little help on an occasion like this after all the butler could make the drink serve the dinner and uh Hazel could stay in the

Kitchen that is with the assistance of a butler Hazel could concentrate entirely upon preparing the dinner excuse me telephone call for you Mr Bon oh thank you hello oh hello hazel what’s the matter who what so don’t worry Mr be and don’t take no chances coming home

Because they can’t go until I let Mr suly have his pants back George George what is it speak up man George speak up George what is it speak up Man would you like wine with you Denny you can have it if you want it but Mr Bee usually likes a bottle of beer with my beef stew beer that’s one beer and what about you Mr sley I’ll have beer well come on in I’m dishing it

Up total disaster Hazel alone with the sley George are you sure you made the date for next Saturday well that’s what I meant you must have misunderstood well let’s get there in a hurry I know a Shortcut Addison now I know what this reminds me of it’s like that marvelous beef borgan yon that we had in that little cafe outside sh in France remember it’s better why can’t all rep prepare food like this for us Addison we simply must hire this woman away from the backers

Eccentric and talkative as she is why she’s simply Superior in the kitchen it would take a while but in time I’m sure I could improve her manners third anyone I still got a little left oh no I couldn’t I’ll have a smidge in more well on second thought maybe you

Better not you won’t have room for my prune pie oh none for me thank you oh you’ll change your mind she is the most exasperating woman I have but Addison we’ve got to have her well I don’t know this is my specialty oh this is the best prun pie I’ve tasted

Since I was 14 years oldia I thought you’d like it as one of my grandma’s recipes well I’ll go finish sewing your pants Addison you’re right we’ve got to have her we don’t care what the backers pay you we’ll give you $100 a month more and

I’ll even pay the taxes on the full amount boy you must be having trouble with your maid oh the upstairs made the downstairs made the chef the Butler and even the chaffeur isn’t as reliable as he ought to be all you’d have to do is just cook that’s all with every Thursday

And Sunday off and we travel a great deal you know we take you along do you like to travel oh sure but living out of a suitcase can get pretty tiresome oh you wouldn’t have to do that you’d have change Vis at our masonet in New York

Our house in Palm Springs our apartment in Paris and our Villa in Rome so you see you wouldn’t be living out of a suitcase your changes would be right there wow we’ll pay all expenses provide medical and dental care and uniforms and I’ll even Supply a car well there’s just

One thing name it whatever your terms are we’ll meet them well you admitted you got a lot of people working for you but the baxes have only got me and if I left who’d take care of them he it’s very commendable of you to think of them

But in this world you have to look after yourself where can you do the best for Hazel Burke with the backers with us that’s the basic consideration you know I feel kind of sorry for you two why well maybe you don’t know you’re making a mistake maybe

You never even thought of it but if you only consider yourselves you know you’re missing a lot of Happiness I’ll forgive you for trying to pull a fast one like this but you really ought to feel a little ashamed of yourselves do something George Hazel Hazel let’s come over you talking to Mr

And Mrs suley this morning all right Mr Baxter let her finish I I guess I was finished Mr sley I should think so uh uh we was just talking about ethics loyalty and consideration I don’t know who got the date mixed up Mr Baxter but I’m delighted that it happened you are Mr

Baxter would you do us a very great favor why of course Mrs suley discharger Fire H at once what you see George since Hazel quite obviously is too polite to tell you I will we tried to hire away from you and it still goes Hazel if you ever decide to make a

Change the offer still holds as in Love and War everything’s fair when you need a superior cook well I can’t blame you for trying to get her away Mrs suley it only goes to prove you know a good thing when you see it oh Chapman we’ll be with you in a

Moment Mr Baxter um I came here to see your book collection but oh yes of course would you like to see it now well I was thinking um regardless of who made the mistake about the date you did expect us for dinner next Saturday didn’t you oh that’s right next Saturday

We’ve been counting on it we’ve been discussing it all evening and the invitation still holds oh yes yes and we would like to include the Butterworth too if they can make it delighted fine I’ll see your book ction then wonderful wonderful is there anything special you folks would like

For dinner oh anything you decide to cook will be divine everything Hazel does his Divine well you good night good night night night Miss oh miss suley you forgot your [Laughter] shoes I’m sorry well for heaven’s sakes how long she going to be gone oh well I guess only

For a day or so I hope so Mr be’s going to be furious do you mean Mrs baxer left town without even telling him oh she had to if she didn’t hurry she would have missed the plane she she just called the office and talk to his secretary well

Hazel you better watch him you know what they say when the cat’s away the mice will play Oh Mr Bee ain’t that kind of a man that’s what you think Hazel Mr Baxter’s just like all the rest of them he’s got an eye for a pretty ankle what

Do you mean well one day in the supermarket I caught him looking at me oh Rosie you got such a vivid imagination imagination huh he spoke to me yeah what did he say he asked me if I needed a ride home oh Rosie well it

Wasn’t so much what he said as the way he said said it he was just trying to be nice to you boy I hate to think of what he’s going to do when he finds out Missy ain’t here he’s going to be so mad mad

Why should he be mad Miss Baxter had no choice he’s going to be mad because he’s going to miss her that’s why he’s going to feel deserted a brilliant man like Mr be can’t get along by himself he needs somebody to take care of him then why do

You think he’s so smart well Einstein was the same way he never could find his socks and he’d forget to get his haircut now you take Bonnie he’s what I call a lowbudget IQ Bonnie just delivers the mail all day long and when he has a little free time

He soaks his feet you don’t have to worry about a man like Bonnie but a man like Mr be boy he’d starve to death if Missy and me didn’t take care of him oh I’d like to see his face when you tell him oh no you wouldn’t Rosie oh he’s

Frightening when he’s mad he turns all colors and the veins stand out in his for Mr Baxter I can’t believe it oh it’s ter arine boy he looks just like a purple Charles boy hi hi hello Harold when’s dinner well dinner’s going to be in about an hour spy where’s mother she ain’t

Here she won’t be here tonight what do you mean well you see she had to go to your aunt barbar’s for a day or so she won’t be here at all well no because you see your Aunt Barbara mother never goes away well uh this is kind of an

Emergency sport you know your aunt barbar’s got them four little kids and a new baby to take care of and then she went and sprained her ankle and somebody had to help out oh ain’t it pitiful poor kid stunned Hazel yes b as long as mother

Isn’t here can I stay up later tonight no you can’t stay up later and go and get ready for dinner okay Hazel doesn’t look very stunned me oh he recovers fast that’s all but I send him away so he wouldn’t be here when Mr be explodes you know it ain’t right for a

Boy to see things like that as a matter of fact that’s why I’m making the pie I don’t get it well you’ve heard the old saying apple pie so a Savage Beast you mean music maybe with other people but with Mr B it’s Pie dead wait a wait a second you know what I told you about your mother if your dad ain’t heard about it yet you better let me tell him okay hi Dad hello son how are you well I’ve been playing hockey on Rose skates good for

You how was your day very good while you were playing hockey I was playing hookie from the office I played around the golf this afternoon did you win what’s your second question did you break a 100 you have a third question did you bring me a tea no that I didn’t here you

Are Ted brought me a tea Hazel he’s been playing golf but don’t ask him how he did oh it’s well well now you you run up to your rooms B uh what’s this well I want to have a little talk with you Mr be in in private oh well all right son

Will you run upstairs yeah well suppose we go in the living room Mr be so you you can sit down hey what’d he do do oh he didn’t do nothing Harold’s the best boy in the world and you know what’s so terrific about him he never loses his temper well that’s true

Harold’s a very even tempered boy well he don’t get it from your side of the family Mr be he gets it right from Missy and and maybe his Aunt Barbara Hazel will you please tell me what this is all about oh sure um uh um sit down Mr

Be you ain’t uh you ain’t been in touch with your office this afternoon huh no have they been trying to get in touch with with me no but Missy and me have well uh uh I wanted to tell you I I baked you an apple pie and I got you

Some cheese to go with it Hazel now I assume you have something more important to tell me than that so will you please get on with it yes sir take a deep breath Mr be no I will not take a deep breath now tell me now you see you’re

Losing your temper yes I’m losing my temper yeah I I I knew you would I told Rosie but I didn’t think it would it would come this soon Hazel Burke if you don’t tell me what’s happening okay okay uh Aunt Barbara you know with them four little kids she went and sprained her

Ankle oh that’s too bad yeah that’s what Missy thought you know Missy she just got a heart of pure gold so you know what she did she volunteered to to to to go and help out for a few days well that’s fine I don’t think I’m getting through

To you Mr be she went well that’s fine Hazel and if Barbara needs help well I mean she ain’t going to be here tonight what’s tonight Thursday bye Gully I’m going to try to get me up a poker [Applause] Game Jerry George Baxter how are you good look Dorothy’s out of town and I’m thinking of getting up a little game of Penny anti interested I thought I could count on you no we don’t want h in the game well I know she’s good but Jerry you didn’t

Lose so much as you have to get even well how about 15 minutes later no sport 10 minutes no Harold this is for our poker game tonight are you playing don’t I always boy I got such terrific card sense I just been cleaning up lately Harry George back

I was just talking to Jerry and we decided to get up a little poker game interested that’s my boy oh come over about 8 h no no we don’t want Hazel in the game Harry you tried to get even last time besides I’d just rather she wouldn’t play 5 minutes later no sport

I’m sorry you got to go to bed at your usual time 1 minute now you’re just trying to be funny well will you tell me a story after I go to bed oh I can’t to nice board on account of the poker game Spence George Baxter was there something wrong well

Spence you sound terrible well things couldn’t be worse George I’ve had another fight with Doc you would fall in love with a professional woman what happened this time Doc and I were having dinner in a nice little place you know soft lights music champagne I was

Holding her hand under the table I was just about to pop the question when she said Spence do you know why you breathe through your mouth like that well I knew why because I’m crazy about her but like a fool I said why and do you know what

She said to me George can you imagine what she said she said you breathe through your mouth because you have a deviated septum well it ruined the whole evening why don’t you forget your troubles and come over and play a little poker tonight oh well I don’t think I

Can do that no I want to stay here by the phone in case she might call me well look uh doc plays poker too doesn’t she well why don’t I give her a call and invite her over to play maybe you can patch up your little tiff hey would you

Do that George would you oh George I can’t thank you enough oh about 8:00 fine Spence see you then what no no Hazel won’t be playing well because I don’t want her to Spence I shouldn’t have let this get started in the first place this man she hasn’t won that much from you

Fine I’ll see you then oh by the way what’s Doc’s number all right call her right away and her plane should have arrived a couple of hours ago so after dinner we’ll give her a call it sure seems funny doesn’t it calling Mother long distance yes it does son I was thinking

About her before dinner and do you know what I did I picked up my room well good for you now you tell her that on the phone okay everything all right just fine Hazel just fine oh I would have said it was kind of Lonesome around here

Myself well we’re going to call her after dinner and we’ll find out how long she’ll be gone oh wonderful she’ll be glad to hear all the news he so she’s only been gone a couple of hours there isn’t any news oh well she’d like to hear about our poker game tonight Hazel

Uh you aren’t playing poker with us tonight I ain’t no we already have five playing oh well I thought maybe the fellas had like a chance to get Ean Hazel you haven’t won that much oh how do you think I paid for my badmon racket you know they don’t give them

Away uh don’t worry about it oh oh who’s coming over tonight well Jerry Dunbar Harry Williams to Jack Spencer and Doc Gordon doc Gordon oh I don’t think we’ve ever met no I don’t believe you have well be careful Mr be you know you got this tendency to draw

To an inside straight Hazel now I’m perfectly capable of playing my own poker hands uh may I please have some more coffee yes sir coming right up Hazel Rosie what are you doing over here at dinner time why is this G over between courses I’ll bet Mr Baxter is going out

Tonight isn’t he of course not well his he may need any mysterious phone calls oh Rosie for Pete’s sake he’s just going to have some fellas over to play poker no women are you out of your mind well all I know is when the cat’s away the

Mice will play oh you ain’t only between courses you’re a far off bases you can get there ain’t going to be no women just a regular fellas and some doctor I ain’t met yet so do you mind if I serve Mr be’s coffee [Applause] Now H well you pulled the surprise didn’t you well I’m sorry darling but I knew that you’d understand oh of course I understand how’s Barbara oh boy that’s rough how long will she be off her feet well at least two days George maybe even three are you

Getting along all right darling oh we’re getting along just fine both Harold and Hazel are standing here dying to talk to you tonight I’m going to play a little poker I’ll get it Mr B don’t let her hang up till I get a a chance to talk to

Her Jerry Dunbar Harry Williams Jack Spencer doc Gordon yeah she’s had another argument with Spence but I’m trying to get them together again hello hello this is the Baxter residence isn’t it yeah is uh Mr Baxter in oh yeah who will I say is calling tell him Dr Gordon’s here oh oh doc

Gordon oh yeah is your husband parking the car oh I’m not married I’m doc Gordon you ain’t the doc Gordon that’s playing cards here tonight yes I am oh for Pete’s sake yeah come on in uh Mr be’s on the phone he’s talking long distance to his

Wife they’ve been happily married for 11 years yes I know it’s almost a miracle these days isn’t it oh oh no not when two people care as much for each other as they do well if you’ll just go in the living room and sit down Mr be will be

With you in a minute thank you that is if he ever gets through talking on the phone the way he cares about Missy they could talk for hours and do you know what I found under my bed the socks I lost two weeks ago you see Harold it does pay to pick

Up your room once in a while Harold now you mind Hazel while I’m gone understand oh sure doesn’t everybody she just came back do you want to talk to her okay good night mother wants to talk to you thanks boy one of your fellas just come oh who Hazel with a fellow I

Ain’t met yet you know doc Gordon oh Hazel is’s not a fellow that’s a woman yeah so I noticed honey looks like the poker party starting I love you too goodbye uh just a minute Missy how why don’t you go help your dad entertain his guest how will I entertain well recite

For him you know the poem I tort you under the spreading chest nut Tre oh sure and Harold yeah why don’t you sit on his on his knee while you recite okay hi Missy oh everything’s fine yeah terrific well uh there’s nothing for you to worry about not a

Thing could you could you come home tomorrow Harold you’re ruining the crease in my trousers besides I want to talk to Dr Gordon don’t you want to hear me recite anything uh not right now son maybe a little later now will you please run along okay uh Doc before Spence gets here I’d

Like to talk to you do you know that man’s crazy about you yes I know George and I guess I’m crazy about him oh well then could you make it the next day Hazel are you worried about something what well then why are you so insistent that I come back right away oh

Oh no reason everything is fine you know me I’ll keep my eye on things yeah all right bye boy will I keep my eye on things hey why aren’t you in there reciting because dad sent me out of the room oh boy well you go on up to bed sport I got

A feeling I’m going to have a private consultation with the doctor doc please listen to me any man can make a mistake and regret it later I suppose so George you have to forget and start over again you have to give a man another chance oh George Dear George

I know you’re right I’ll do it Mr B uh excuse me for intruding on your private conversation or is the doctor taking your pulse no she’s not taking my pulse oh you taking hers heel what is it well I’d like a little private conversation with you out in the

Hall uh is it important just about as important as they come excuse me well Mr be I want to talk to you man to man oh excuse me George boy how are you hello Harry come here hi J could be better George hi Hazel sorry you’re not joining the game

Tonight oh which game was you referring to Mr Williams why poker aren’t we playing poker tonight y oh of course we are doc Gordon’s join us hey wow hi doc oh isn’t she a doll why can’t I get just a little bit sick relax tiger she’s

Taken now Hazel what is it Mr B listen you know Missy is just like a daughter to me and I’ve always looked on you as as kind of like a kid brother I’m real fond of you Mr be well thank you Hazel I’m fond of you too well that’s why I’ve

Always been willing to forgive your fors you know like overeating and not hanging up your clothes Hazel will you please get to the point you’re done too shoot hi Spence come here George hazel good evening Mr spener Spence roku’s in the living room isn’t she beautiful Hazel I’ll have to talk to you

A little later wait a minute Mr be Hazel my guests have arrived now will you please bring in the crackers and cheese cheese ain’t all I’m bringing in boy Cupid ain’t flying tonight if I can help It Hazel oh hi Rosie did you read the writing on the wall he’s in there now with a gorgeous female doctor I knew it I knew it when the cats away the Bice will play yeah and the Rats is having a swell time too but I’m going to fix them

What are you going to do well I’m going to make a special dish of cheese bread just for Mr be What are you putting in it goic all right who didn’t Addy come on someone’s late Spence huh oh D I’m [Laughter] sorry all right Jacks Are Better gentlemen and lady oh thank you sir all open for one I want everybody to stay in I’ll stay and me not past the Iron Duke

I’m in I made this especially for you Mr be thank you Hazel cards oh three please George ain’t you going to try it a little later Hazel Spence oh four oh there’s a gamble for you Harry uh three George three good ones just spread this cracker for you fine I’ve been saving

These three little ones for you I’ll take one George and uh one for the dealer just pop this in your mouth Hazel that’s loaded with garlic oh well that’s the way you like it ain’t it oh boy we may have to evacuate the building well I hope it don’t bother

Nobody not me George we’re soulmates I love garlic Hazel would you fix me a cracker please oh well I I just fixed this for Mr be Hazel would you mind fixing her a cracker anything my guests want they get yes sir how come you fellas didn’t want me

In the game tonight oh we did Hazel we we just wanted a chance to get even oh oh here you are Dr Gordon thank you Hazel you’re in kind of a funny position Mr be saying you want your guest to get anything they like and then not asking

Me to be in the game all right Hazel All Right Now bring up a chair okay I’ll sit right here between you and Dr Gordon does garlic on the doctor’s breath bother you well that all depends on how close I can get to the doctor oh I think

You should be close it’s important in a doctor patient relationship don’t you think yes I do but what about the garlic that could pose a problem oh I think I know what to prescribe what say ah ah now bite come on Doc you opened Harry don’t disturb me when I’m

Operating and I do mean on you well here we go would you mind moving over a little oh not at all a little more please yes Mr B you better mind your peas and cues what are you talking about flirty Gertie over there can’t seem to make up

Her mind but what about my deviated septum I adore your deviated septum needs constant medical attention day and night year after year Well if you refer me to another doctor I’ll turn you over my knee not a chance you’ll never get rid of me we’re going to get

Married just as soon as the law allows yes sir my friends it’s been a nice poker game and I am the big winner there we have haven’t even finished one hand Doc and I are getting married hey what’s going on here well Hazel oh Mr be that

GOC Hazel Spence and Doc had a little fight and I invited doc to join our game and hopes they could patch it up are you kidding no I’m not kidding oh that crazy Rosie she was so sure that you had some hanky panky going on can you imagine I

Never believed it for a minute come on let’s play some poker I’m saving up for ice skate Oh am my fault boy that shoe was a SWR dinner Hazel oh thanks boy yes Hazel delicious Mr be I sure got to give you credit you’re one man whose eyes ain’t bigger than his stomach boy you sure can put it away all right all right as you

Sure you don’t want another piece of cake maybe with a big scoop of ice cream on it Asel will you please stop pasing pasting what does that mean pasting p a s Qi n a d i n g it means to criticize a ridicule with satire gee Mr

B you sure had a swell education thanks Asel pass Graden boy you got to be pretty smart to use a word like that thanks but don’t overdo it I bet if you was at a carnival they’d probably hand you a Cy doll and I ain’t pasin aen all

Right Hazel that’s enough you know what a Cy doll is well of course l what a Cy doll is oh sure you probably heard of them all your life that’s right sure a man with your education how do you spell Cy Cy yes sir Cy all right all right

Hazel I’m thinking see you no no no no son Q you oh Mr B well just a minute Hazel Cy doll Cy doll doll do Hazel don’t you have the dinner dishes to do oh yes sir well I’ll be right back she means to find out if you can spell it huh Dad

Yes heel smart isn’t she Dad how can I tell she’s driving me out of my mind wasn’t it nice we had a good day for boy this is the best we had so far and GE drop oh Miss Thompson what are you doing here well George is bringing

Some men home for dinner and with Dorothy out of town he asked me to help out oh apparently he couldn’t reach you at all I was out coaching the team yeah we W 72 to 12 sure I made Seven touchdowns himself well good for you

Harold I’m proud of you so am I well don’t go getting no swell head you was helped by some excellent blocking you know I’ve been stressing the fundamentals with the kids yeah and she worked out some swell plays too we use the tea formation so they’re pretty

Tricky if I do say so myself why don’t you go clean up sport you got half of the vacant lot on your face okay he’s going to be an athlete just like his dad well that’ll please George I’m sure he’s grateful to you for the time youve spent with all the children

Oh I wish it was twice as many I’d like to put in the platoon system boy you know football is my favorite sport next to bowling here I am gabing we’re letting you do all the work yes that had occurred to me too oh say uh who who’s

Coming for dinner tonight uh Frank uh somebody or other he’s from New York he wants George to help him with a business deal another one of those dull conversations at dinner boy I sure like Snappy conversation when I’m serving I’ll go change and and I’ll help you as soon as to get cleaned

Up in witness whereof the parties here to you have caused uh these presents to be signed uh the day and year uh first above written uh Mr now will you please uh type that up yes sir it certainly has been a pleasure meeting you Mr gford and and I want to

Wish you all the luck in the world with your bowling alley well thank you Miss Sterling but the deal hasn’t been closed yet oh but I’m sure it will you know I’m I’m one of your biggest fans well it’s just like I used to tell my ex-boyfriend I’m not going with anyone

Right now I used to say I think Frank gford is the best football player in the whole world well thank you I mean when you made that touchdown last Sunday I just went ape I actually kissed the TV set well I got lipstick all over the picture tube Miss Sterling uh that will

Be all yes sir I mean it must be awful for you being away from New York and and your friends so well if you need anyone to to show you around I’d be glad to help out out well thank you uh but I don’t think that would go over very well

With my wife you’re married yes I am Miss Sterling I happen to be the referee and you made a very forward pass which went out of bounds so would you mind going in and typing that yes sir tell me Frank does that happen quite often oh every now and then George uh

You see some girls seem to think professional football players live a pretty Glamorous Life Excuse me yes George this is Harry if you’re not busy I’d like to go that Boyer contract with you well it’ll have to be in the morning Harry I have Frank gford here with me

Frank gford yes oh the New York Giants that’s right holy smoke Harry’s one of my law Partners he’s a football fanatic it is Frank gford well of course it is Frank Harry Williams Harry Frank gford how do you do this is a pleasure Mr gford a great pleasure I’ve followed

Your career ever since you started with the Giants back in 52 believe me this is a great pleasure thank you Mr Williams uh Harry that’s his hand not a pump handle oh excuse me you got a scratch Pad George right here I wonder if I could have your autograph Mr gford it’s

Uh for my my little boy of course Mr Williams Harry you have a little girl thanks a lot blabber mouth here you are Mr Williams thank you very much to give I do appreciate it I say if you’re alone in town maybe you’d like to come out to the house for dinner

Tonight well thank you but I’m having dinner with the backers oh George with Dorothy out of town Harry my sister’s helping out oh well say maybe Myrtle and I could drop over for a little while Harry this isn’t going to be a social evening Frank happens to be in town

Because he’s investigating the possibility of investing in a bowling alley we’re going to look at it tonight oh well it’s been a great pleasure Mr gford lots of luck on Sunday thank you Mr Williams believe me I’ll be watching that game on television wish I could be

There in person and Harry the pale’s running over yeah oh well it’s a nice meeting you Mr Gord thank you really been a great pleasure and lots of luck on Sunday thank you see you later Harry boy let’s get out of this mat house and go home well you’ll probably

Run into exactly the same thing hi Hazel oh hi Leo why are you reading Meers so late it’s almost 6:00 well I saved your house to last uh I was wondering if you wanted to go to a movie with me tonight oh that’s nice of you to

Ask me but I can I’m giving an exhibition to trick shot bowling at Bru’s bowling center tonight for the service boys again oh no no no the Women’s Club I gave one a month or so ago and for some crazy reason they seem to think I was an inspiring

Example you mind if I drop around watch oh no of course not lots of fellas are going to be there then maybe we can go somewhere afterwards and have a pizza oh for Pete’s sake I told those fellas not to honk for me if Mr B was here he’d be Furious oh boy it was Mr be himself I better get these biscuits in the oven oh I better be leaving oh no stick around I want to show you some bowling shots come on in Frank let me take your hat thank you George say you have a lovely place oh if

My wife heard you say that you’d win her heart forever she’s a part-time interior decorator hi George oh uh Dedra want you meet Frank gford Frank this is my sister Dedra THS how do you do Mrs Thompson how do you do Mr gford Frank has just been admiring Dorothy’s interior decorating

Job oh well she’ll hear about it George reports all compliments so Dorothy won’t get the urge to redecorate not true at all well hardly at all when’s dinner 10 to 15 minutes why don’t you go in and sit down I’ll have Hazel bring some more dur good idea

Where to meet Hazel she’s quite a character and then when I raise it up to eye level Hazel may we have the ords please oh yes Miss Thompson comeing right up guess I better get out of here oh yeah I got to get busy Mr bees brought

Some man home for dinner probably some fat Tycoon who needs or DS like he needs a hole in the head well what business are you in Mr gford Dedra this is Frank gford oh are the New York Giants oh oh I I’ve seen your name in the sports Pages hell I should think

So your team just moved to San Francisco didn’t it that was the baseball team Mr Thompson Dedra Mr gford is a football player uh I’m afraid I don’t know very much about sports that’s perfectly all right most women don’t even we are what for Peete sake you’re Frank Gord ain’t

You yes I am oh boy ain’t this a Barry’s hold this William Mr be I’m hazelberg how do you do Miss bur oh well say ain’t he the best looking thing you ever saw I want to thank you for sending me that autograph picture my picture yeah I

Wrote your card asking for it you know back in 1950 6 right after you won the gym thop trophy well to be honest with you miss Burke those pictures are sent out by our publicity office oh oh well did you get my letters letters oh sure I’ve been writing him a couple of

Letters a year ever since Hazel he gets thousands of fan letters every season oh I didn’t write him a fan letter I sent him some terrific plays I worked out oh brother you know I’m a coach on a football team myself and we ain’t lost a game in 3 years I’m impressed Frank

Actually it’s a CH ‘s team my son plays on it we won a game today 72 to 12 and Harold Harold made Seven touchdowns himself did he really that’s my boy actually they do play a pretty good brand of football well that is for children what does that score 72 to 12

Remind you of Mr be remind me of I don’t know what you’re talking about I got a terrific memory for statistics well there was a championship game once that turned out 73 to nothing you remember what the games was uh the Chicago Bears and the Washington Redskins I have a

Pretty good memory myself what’s the year oh George don’t get her started no no no D let her answer 1940 December 8th 1940 what was the stadium Griffith Stadium who coached the Bears George how who coached the Redskins H George Marshall I’ll put a stop to this all

Right you to what was the attendance oh come on now oh for Pete’s sake who’d remember that that little old halfback me 36034 oh boy that’s terrific are we going to have Snappy conversation at the dinner table now Hazel just a minute George I warned you not to get started

All right Dedra it was my mistake now Hazel this is to be a business evening and I don’t want you butting in on our conversations I just wanted to talk over some of the plays I’d worked out Hazel professional football is ly different from amateur football played on a vacant

Lot now you should no more consider giving Mr gford football plays than you would advise a doctor how to remove your appendix now you wouldn’t do that would you well would you I’m thinking well I read a terrific Book on a on Anatomy once so I don’t know why I

Couldn’t no brother Asel let me put it this way Mr gford is here on a business trip and he doesn’t have time to waste talking football with you well I thought he have a few minutes after dinner after dinner we’re going to look at a bowling alley bowling alley that’s right Mr

Gford May invest in one oh boy that’s terrific Bruce’s bow sender no the East Side bowling Dome oh no you don’t want to go there nobody goes there Hazel that’s ridiculous well I mean none of my crowd do when I give an exhibition where is it hell Bruce’s Bowling Center well

The East Side bowling Dome don’t even compare Hazel I seen the financial statement of the East Side bowling Dome it’s making money and I happen to think it’s a good investment the bowling center does twice the business I think you’re making a big mistake excuse me I think I smell something burning it’s

Me oh boy I got biscuits in the Oven where do I tell the kids at school I met you they won’t even believe it do you think they would if I gave you an autograph oh sure then that’s what I’ll do oh boy say thank you Harold thank you Mr gford I could probably get a dime for

It Harold but I wouldn’t sell it well I should hope not at least hold out for 15 cents no Mr gfet you take Brewster’s bowling sand ha Hazel will you please drop the subject yes sir well what I really came in to find out was whether anybody wanted seconds you Mr gford I’ll

Have a little more of everything Hazel oh boy it sure is a pleasure to feed a man that don’t pick at his food Hazel I’ll have a little more uhuh no Mr B I don’t think you better Hazel you just said it was a pleasure to feed a man

That didn’t pick out his food yeah I said pick but with you it’s pick and shovel oh that woman can be the most irritating woman in the world she tries to run everybody and she thinks she’s an expert on everything she seems to know a lot about bowling and bowling alleys I

Have to admit she does know bowling she is an expert oh now just a minute she’s a good bowler but she’s not a business woman you see Mr be a terrific businessman but he ain’t had no experience in the field of bowling um um would you be interested in

Having Frank gford invest in your place Mr Brewster well I can’t guarantee nothing but maybe I can get him at least to drop by and look it over and it shouldn’t take us more than an hour to look over the East Side bowling Dome and we’ll be

Back here by 9:00 here you are Mr gford oh thank you Hazel it’s a delicious dinner oh you like good food huh indeed I do you see the team travels a lot and I miss home cooking oh sure and when you’re in a town this size it ain’t easy

To find too many good restaurants well that’s for sure Hazel sure if you’re at someplace you know and you want a midnight snack there’s really only one place to go right Mr be well there aren’t many anyway oh this place is terrific and it’s always crowded the

Place I was referring to is brw’s Bolan and Hazel now I ask you please to drop the subject oh yes sir yes sir Mr be you’re the boss why don’t you slip this in your pocket I’ll bet you a dine that’s more propaganda about bruers you owe somebody

A dime George it’s a diagram of a football play A variation of the Statue of Liberty oh brother I stop her on one subject and she comes up with another I don’t mind George but it’s nothing the Giants can use it’s not the T formation well I’m going to clamp down on her

Hazel will you please come in here did you call me Mr B yes Hazel I did call you I thought I told you not to bother Mr Gord with your football plays oh no you said just not to talk to him about it oh Hazel you’re evading the

Issue and you know it not only that your play can’t possibly be used by the Giants because it is a T formation oh for Pete’s sake ain’t that dumb of me he I sure made a fool of myself didn’t I well Hazel you’re way over your head when it comes to professional football

But Dad I guess it’s like that old expression every cobbler should stick to his last that’s right Hazel so will you forgive me Mr gfin Mr B is right I shouldn’t have bothered you with the football place oh please forget it Hazel oh no no I learned my lesson you know if

Somebody has something to say Mr be will listen till the cows come home he’s very fair that way well thank you Hazel and another thing if anybody’s a recognized Authority on something Mr be will go to him and look him up that’s his philosophy right Mr B yes Hazel I like

To think so ain’t he terrific well Mr be I’m a recognized Authority on bowling alley so what would you like to know about Brewsters not one thing but Mr B as will you please go back to the kitchen you mean before I get a chance to apologize

No I think an apologies in order would you excuse me Mr gford I was only interested in you making a good investment well that’s all right Hazel you’re mad at me ain’t you of course not oh yes you are I can tell I was going to

Ask you to go someplace but now I don’t dare of course you can oh honest certainly oh well I’m giv a trick shot bowling exhibition tonight at brost’s Bowling oh boy Hazel you’re in great form tonight oh thanks Leo I appreciate it you seen anything in Mr be or Mr gford yet no I haven’t I can’t understand that that other place is a Wast of time look at how we got them packed in here yeah there’s hardly an

Empty seat in the stands Hazel well they came for a show I guess they better give it to them another strike Hazel ladies and gentlemen I have just bow three strikes with my right arm and three strikes with my left arm and I’m now going to bowl the next strike with my foot

[Applause] [Applause] [Applause] Hazel it’s going to be a gutter ball oh no I put a curve on It oh she’s quite a gal she’s uh what’s the word she uses oh yeah real doozy look she sees us and now folks I’m going to interrupt the procedure long enough to introduce two celebrities from the New York Giants football team Mr Frank [Applause] GI and next that prominent attorney Mr George [Applause] Baxter and now folks I’m going to take a break great to give you a chance to enjoy that terrific food that’s one of the main reasons you’re here tonight oh brother more of propaganda may I have your autograph Mr gford me

Too Mr G of course hi Mr be how is the East Side bowling Dome nly deserted no Hazel most of the lanes were very busy may I have your autograph Hazel oh sure excuse me Mr be may I have your autograph Hazel oh cure uh Mr Baxter yes can I have your

Autograph mine yes aren’t you the prominent local attorney yes yes yes I am well I’d be very happy to give you my autograph there you are oh thank you sir thank you thank you very much oh you’re welcome and no more no more autographs we got business to do excuse me will you

Pleas oh Mr B Mr brw is waiting for us in his office just remember now I insist upon seeing his books I know I told him you two celebrities may be surprised to learn that you’re not the only ones giving out autographs a gentleman just

Asked me for mine well how do you look that come on this Way well I’m sorry Mr Brewster but I couldn’t possibly recommend that Mr gford invest here oh you’re losing money every month what that’s right Hazel that’s why I need the additional Capital Mr gford even a few thousand I’m sorry Mr Boer but I must go by Mr Baxter’s

Advice but how could he be losing money the place is mobbed every night well the restaurant alone is losing nearly 2 a month oh now that is not exactly a loss Mr Baxter I just haven’t collected it yet you see I’ve been letting people sign their tabs Mr Brewster it’s a loss

Unless you collect it now you’ve got to get after those people I guess you’re right by God that that is just what I’m going to do what about the bone under of it don’t he make money there sometimes Hazel at least he probably does when you’re not giving one of your

Exhibitions what well you probably cost him several hundred just tonight me how well you see there’s no admission charge and when you’re doing your trick shot bowling people stand around and watch all the other lanes are empty oh gee Mr Brewster I feel terrible about that

That’s all right is oh no it ain’t I’m not going to have you sitting around in a puddle of red ink we’re going to get you in the black and I’m going to do it right now ladies and gentlemen and uh friends of Mr Brewster I got an announcement to

Make you know it’s all very flattering having you hang around and watch me show off but I’m going to call off this exhibition oh no no for Pete’s sake listen you know this ain’t a spectator sport you could all be just as terrific a bowler as I am if you just get out

There and practice so why don’t you get off your Verandas and get out there and I’ll stop by and I’ll give you point us come on now break it up oh wait a minute and listen if any of you run up tabs at the restaurant I wish You’ go and and pay

Up she’s quite a gal yeah she’s wonderful and exasperating but as you say quite a gal well let’s go home that is if no one else wants my autograph uh just just a minute please H yes Mr Brer well I’ve started tightening things up in the restaurant already well

Good for you and I knew you didn’t want to leave without paying You tab tab what tab I don’t have a tab well this one $6.80 it’s got you a signature right across back of It oh Brother stand closer to the wall oh George don’t be silly I’m telling you he’s back in town he he tried to reach me at the office that’s why I came home early well I think that’s a terrible way to treat your cousin he is not my cousin well he’s

Your second cousin once removed that’s not removed far enough oh really George every time I think I’ve got him removed he’s back borrowing more money keep your shirt on I’m coming heel huh don’t answer the door why not it’s cousin Fred no it ain’t it ain’t I mean it isn’t are you sure

Sure I’m sure it’s the paper boy come to pick up his money hi Franklin hi Hazel I come to collect from the morning paper the price is gone up again yeah what ain’t thank heaven it’s only the paper boy well I knew it wasn’t your cousin Fred I let

Him in the back way 10 minutes ago I fixed him a steak sandwich in the kitchen he oh would you pay the paper for Mr B I told him to yell if he needed more pickley [Applause] St Hazel is brought to you By now I’m telling you I will not see him I refuse to budge from this room until cousin Fred leaves the house George you can’t refuse to talk to him who can’t the last time I was here I told him I’d never loan him another dime well I’ll admit some of his schemes

Don’t work out but I I admire a man that dreams big George oh George you hear that that’s his prologue Georgie Porgy I have an idea that’ll make us both millionaires Hazel I want you to go downstairs and tell him that I can’t see him tell him I’m well tell him I’m in

The shower me tell a lie Hazel this is no time for your George Washington heroics just tell him I’m in the shower but that’s a lie you ain’t in the shower all right if it leaves your conscience I’ll Stand in the shower well he’s standing in the shower

All right Mr B if that’s the way you want it I’ll tell him you’re standing in the shower with all your clothes on never mind never mind hello Fred hi Georgie Porgy Fred if you call me Georgie Porgy one more time George I have an idea that’s going to

Make us both millionaires meanwhile you’d like to borrow a $100 huh well that’s why you’re here isn’t it you want to borrow $100 well no actually I need two or300 it’ll only be a loan of course I’ll pay it back you see when when you

See huh when will you pay it back well you see when you ever paid anything back George you seem kind to cross if you had a bad day at the office maybe I’d better come back tomorrow no no no no wait a minute wait a minute Fred you know what this is

Newspaper what section is this want ads what part of the want ads job opportunities look very carefully one two three pages of job opportunities isn’t it wonderful how this country’s booming that’s why I feel this is a right time to make a fortune this idea mine was it’ll be these companies are

Offering jobs to men who aren’t too lazy to do an honest day’s work yes there’s a Manpower shortage around here right now that’ll be a problem for us but we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it Brad the only bridge I want you to cross

Is from here to outside the house you did have a bad day at the office I have a bad day every time you come to town now here take this with you I hate to do this to you Fred but I’m going to let you have it right between the eyes I not

Loaning you any more money under understand if you were trying to hold down a decent job I’d do anything in the world to help you I’ll always help any man who’s trying to help himself I’m trying to help myself I am yes but to my money I just forget about it because the

Bank is closed oh Fred you know you could be a real credit to the human race if you wanted to be after all you’re a Bor you have some of my blood in your veins the only thing that worries me is that I have some of yours in me

George hello Dorothy hello Fred thanks Hazel for the sandwiches oh don’t mention it goodbye all Fred here uh I’ll give you some bye George now why did I have to be so dog onone mean about it George now don’t why did I have to make that snide remark about having some of his blood in me you hurt yourself Mo you heard him didn’t you well anyway I straighten him out once and for all and I’m Glad he right he’s absolutely right right hi cousin Fred well hello there cousin Harold I didn’t know you were in town are you going to stay with us a couple months again no I think I’ll stay in a hotel this time I wish you’d stay

With us again and so do hazel we like to hear your stories thanks Harold but I don’t think your dad’s so keen on him you know your dad’s done Mighty well for himself he lives in a fine neighborhood everybody’s so rich and prosperous dad says we’re not rich he says he’s always

One Jump Ahead of the p house it’s a rich neighborhood compared to a lot of other people the men’s wives have Furs and diamonds and maids and even the maids look prosperous they’re not as prosperous as Hazel oh Hazel owns government bonds well good for hazel she

Kisses him every night and puts him in her Foot Locker that sounds like hazel well I’m a backer too I have backer blood in my veins I may be a little late getting started on Prosperity but it won’t be long until I have everything your dad Has mhm I saw your employment add in the paper about an hour ago it looked better than the other so I hurried right over well our firm is in the process of a multi-million dollar expansion and we’re desperately in need of men whatever you have to offer I’m your man well for one

Thing we need a Servo engineer capable of analyzing and evaluating feedback control requirements a man with a working knowledge of operational calculus an analog computer simulation anything else you have to offer I’m your man well we also need a dynamicist I I beg your pardon a dynamicist the one who

Can apply the principles of kinetics and kinematics to expected mechanical vibration in proposed design oh are you interested well no I don’t want to take a job away from a younger man who may have a family no engineering experience eh no sir I I’m sorry to have taken up your

Time now wait a minute Mr backer Frederick Baxter I know a George Baxter are you by any chance related to him he’s an attorney he’s a cousin but I’m not using him as a reference any job I get I want to get on my own

Merit I like that I really do sit down Mr bter somewhere in this company we have a place for You Pie isn’t too good no it isn’t there’s something wrong I don’t know what it is I don’t know Hazel somehow or other the pie doesn’t tastes as good as usual oh there ain’t nothing wrong with that peach pie it’s your conscience the mean things you said to your cousin that’s

What’s wrong with the pie I didn’t say anything mean to him and it doesn’t taste good to me either there you see well I’d like to see someone else with cousin Fred praying on a mine make a better peach pie now let’s stop all this what’s

Done is done well I can’t help worrying about him wandering the streets friendless and fullon with no place to sleep he said he’s going to stay in a hotel with what he told me he was busted the poor man’s probably starving to death starving to death he ate three

Steak sandwiches yeah but he probably digested them by now he’s got awful Fast Metabolism you’re not not kidding he could eat his way through a supermarket in 10 minutes flat George sorry well I know one thing I ain’t going to be able to sleep tonight worrying about him wandering the streets

Homeless and rejected I won’t be able to close my Eyes [Applause] I can’t sleep even close my Eyes Boy that ain’t like me to go to bed and leave the back door unlocked My pocket book I never leave my pocket book on the floor my money my money’s gone my bonds my bonds bur Mr Big Mr B Mr B Mr B Mr B They cleaned out his Wallet how George what’s the matter what is it I don’t know it’s Hazel she’s cracked up cracked up well I woke up to find her rans sacking the dresser and then she just ran out of here with my Wallet bergas bergas Harold was all right oh I forgot to check Missy’s FR coat in the closet oh the FL CO’s gone the silver W it’s true George my coat’s gone oh darling now don’t cry it’s covered by insurance I only wore it twice oh the silver West sayfe but they

Got some of your CL Mr be and your gold cuffing Hazel May I have my wallet oh yeah I I forgot I had it they not only took all your money they took all your credit cards oh brother that’s going to mean a mess of trouble notifying all

Those companies but at least most of the things were covered by Insurance are my bonds covered you mean they took your bonds Hazel didn’t I tell you to let me put them in my safe deposit box oh no no don’t touch anything no no not until the

Police get here and how am I going to call the police if I can’t pick up the phone but there may be fingerprints don’t touch a thing oh nonsense Hazel why don’t you look around the house to see if anything else is message hi what’s the matter George what is

It a note a note who from evidently the burglar George if you call the police you will be sorry George he called you George if you call the police you will be sorry this is just to pay you back for what you did to me you know what I mean is it

Signed don’t be silly of course it isn’t signed well who’s it from well how do I know who it’s from what did you do to somebody I didn’t do anything to anybody well he must know you he called you George this is just some burglar’s trick to start a person’s conscience working

And to give himself time to get away but how did he know your name was George what do you mean how he has all my credit cards hasn’t he George you don’t suppose certainly not well don’t snap at me don’t even think of such a thing how

Do you know what I’m thinking because I was thinking the same thing what are you thinking well I’m not thinking anymore it’s Unthinkable but after all cousin Fred is a backer and a backer is incapable of a thing like that I know I know and this isn’t even cousin Fred’s

Handwriting we could convince the police of that in a second how well compare this with the letters he wrote asking for money George he’s never written you asking for money no you’re right he always wired collect well we’ll compare this with the IUS you didn’t save his IUS George you thought they were

Worthless oh well believe me darling cousin Fred didn’t do this he is absolutely innocent will you stop acting as if you’re trying to convince yourself oh thing like this could develop into a very unpleasant Scandal I think it’s better if we don’t call the police darling how are you going to collect the

Insurance if you don’t report the theft no we won’t call the police until I can locate cousin Fred to find out where he was last night oh those burglar sh eyes amateurs look what they missed my Eiffel Tower oh Hallelujah and you don’t have to call the police I called them from the

Kitchen the lieutenant himself is coming over Mr Baxter you and your wife were alone in the house no our son was in his room but they didn’t go in there would you mind if I talk with your son he may have heard something certainly darling would you tell Harold to come downstairs of

Course dear you and your wife and your son were the only ones in the house well no uh Hazel our housekeeper was in hero well I’d like her to come in here too Lieutenant I think you’d make faster progress if she doesn’t I’ve been in the force for 23

Years I think I know what I’m doing well Lieutenant I’ve known Hazel for 12 years and I don’t think you do know what you’re doing however I will call her Hazel would you please come in here oh I’m here already I thought maybe the office would like some coffee and Sweet

Roll oh thank you that’s very considerate of you oh not really I just wanted to know what was going on ain’t this something boy that burglar going through my Foot Locker looking for buns and me asleep in the bed not even knowing he was there at first I was

Scared to death of the idea but now I’m just wondering whether he was handsome uh Mr Baxter about this note the burglar left note I didn’t know he wrote me note you didn’t tell me Mr be Hazel please do you mind if I have a look at

It I’m beginning to see what you mean I knew you would this is just to pay you back for what you did to me oh that don’t mean nothing the burglar just wrote that so he’d have a chance to get away that’s what I figure Mr be hadn’t

Got an enemy in the world he’s the best loved man in town hezel why don’t you go back in the kitchen and polish my halo oh I don’t mean to embarrass you Mr be by saying how perfect you are you got your fault like yesterday when you threw your cousin out of the

House oh you didn’t mention that to me well I asked you if you’d quarrel with anyone lately well oh if you’re suspicious of his cousin Fred you can just forget it because cousin Fred is a backer and they don’t come any honest than that suppose you tell me about that

Quarrel the mother said you wanted to talk to me it was a professional burglar that did it who else would think to look in my foot locker for bonds nobody even knew I had them I knew they were there oh we ain’t thinking of putting the finger on you sport did you mention

Those bonds to anyone else no sir I never told anybody good son uh except cousin Fred who cousin Fred when yesterday afternoon why he was talking about what a rich neighborhood this was and how the women had Furs and diamonds so I told him how hezel was richer than all the other

Women oh come on sport you ain’t had your breakfast no no no no just a moment I want to hear this what else did he say only he was a little late getting started on Prosperity but it wouldn’t be long before we got everything dad Had I understand your position Mr Baxter I wonder if you really do man in your position a relative suspected of burglary but you realize we have to pick him up for questioning yes I know it’s your job H I’m sorry oh that’s all right SP

When I said that I I didn’t know I’d be getting cousin Fred into trouble no and I guess your cousin Fred didn’t know he’d be getting into trouble when he said it either but I didn’t lie I told the truth I know you did I wouldn’t do anything to hurt him I

Love him me too Hazel H do you think he did it Harold how can you say such a thing of course he didn’t I’m absolutely certain I’m positive I think do you have a picture of your cousin no we don’t he’s never stood still long enough to take one any place

Where we might find his fingerprints oh yes on the ice Box I’m trying to convince myself he’s innocent but good morning hazel good morning cousin Harold how do I look new suit new tie new hat new cufflinks cough Lings oh silver no your dad never had any like them I opened a charge account on the strength of my new job job yes

Job doesn’t sound like me does it but when I left here yesterday I knew cousin George was right Hazel I’ve wasted a lot of years chasing rainbows but now I found a job I really like where’s cousin George I I want to tell him the good

News no oh he’ll be Mighty proud of me oh yes I’m sure it’ll be but why don’t you have something to eat first look I got these terrific sweet rolls thanks come on sit down put some butter on them oh thanks back to Residence huh

When hold on a minute will you be right back well off hand I don’t know of any identifying Marks Mr B Mr B Hazel please don’t interrupt they got him who cousin Fred no no the man that took us stuff he was trying to use one of your credit

Cards when they caught him and and the police is on the phone I better take that call use the phone in the hall please he had all our stuff in his car I’ll see that it’s return Mr Baxter oh what a relief to know it wasn’t Fred he’s in the kitchen cousin

Fred yeah and guess what he’s got a job Fred got a job yeah he says you’ll be real proud of him now well I’m not so proud of myself after all the things I suspected him of doing oh No George I was the one that put those Dreadful thoughts in your mind

No darling that’s what I’m so ashamed of even before I saw the burglar’s note I thought of Fred instead of trying to find the best of him I’ve always thought of the worst well I ain’t exactly patting myself on the back for being a loyal friend he was always very sweet to

Me and I I turned Donnie without a second’s hesitation what disgusts me is that I wasn’t even thinking of him I was thinking of myself pure Pride self-interest I didn’t want anything like that associated with my good name it’s going to be real difficult to get that off my conscience well maybe we

Can try how well I mean like doing something real nice for him wait a minute that’s it we’ll do something real nice maybe we’ll take him out to dinner or something oh don’t you worry Mr be I’ll think of something well George whatever we do we must never never let

Fred know that we suspected him Fred I can’t tell you how happy I am that you had this job I just came by to tell you about it and pick up my suitcase I’ll have to find myself a room somewhere and room you got a room our

Guest room and you’re welcome to stay just as long as you like ain’t you Mr be yes yes of course of course and Mr B wants to take you to the country club to lunch today don’t you Mr B oh yes I I’ve been looking forward to

It and if you want to play golf he’ll arrange for a guest card and you can use his clubs oh and Mr be is going to drive you to work and home till you get a car ain’t you Mr be I don’t know how to thank you cousin George come on come on

Up to your room Oh Brother Where does she get that stuff giving you my golf club speed driving him to and from work Mr be now that we’re doing something nice for him we’re all going to feel better ain’t we [Applause] here she is Dad you said to pick you up at the office at 5:00 and it’s 5:00 right on the nose I got the car parked right here we’ll be with you in a minute Hazel we have to get a prescription bu to the drugstore oh Missy will you look what

They’re calling the new flaw Fashions they call that Jerry red it’s really red all right oh i’ never wear that well some women look very stunning in bright red especially the Glamorous type well yeah I suppose if a woman was real glamorous she could wear it well of

Course bright red enhances a glamorous personality Missy while you’re in the drugstore I think I’ll go in and see if they got any anything in my Side Where right Linda hello hello Phil you you startled me I I was just passing by here and well you’re the last person in the world I expected to see oh really well I don’t know why you know I work in this building for Mr bter I have a wonderful idea now as long

As we chance to meet again uh why don’t we have dinner together huh we can laugh over Old Times well I don’t find old times that funny oh well then maybe we could find out what’s new with both of us and we thank you very much but I’m not free

Tonight I’m uh going to a party with one of Mr Baxter’s law Partners Harry null Harry null he’s old enough to be your father he’s a very charming and sophisticated man he’s a cradle robber oh har oh there she is Linda oh just a second Harry well it’s been so nice seeing you

Again Phil goodbye well Linda we’re going to see at the party this evening aren’t we oh I would miss it for anything in the world of course she’ll be there she’s my favorite dancing partner my alltime favorite and that covers a lot of time and a lot of favorites and we’ll see you

At the party come on L I’ll drive you home see you bye Here Comes Haz good there now aren’t you ashamed of yourself complaining about being kept waiting well she’s not here yet is she she’s only 50 ft away knowing Hazel that’s as good as 50 mil if and when she

Gets here I’ll stop complaining oh Phil I almost ran over you hello how are you she’s met somebody what did I tell you oh are you waiting for Linda no no what are you two getting married you know I got I got a new recipe for wedding cake that I’m just

Busting to try out it’s full of nuts oh no reflection against the state of matter no I’m I’m afraid a wedding ceremony is pretty far off how far oh well Hazel that’s that’s a long story I got time well who is she talking to anyway I don’t know I think I saw him

Drive your secretary to the house once or twice maybe he’s her brother or something George please uh Hazel really I’d rather not go into it right now and please don’t mention anything to the backers about this oh they don’t even know you and Linda are in love Mr Bee seems to be

Having a little trouble with his horn I guess I better run on oh say tomorrow is Saturday why don’t you come around in the morning I’ll give you some coffee and cake coming Mr be and then you can tell me all about it oh okay I I I would

Like to tell somebody didn’t get it off my chest fine I’ll see you in the morning oh for peace sake it’s is that all is wrong between you and Linda oh she won’t have anything to do with me it’s been over a month since she threw

That dictionary at me well have you ever tried taking her tenderly in your arms and giving her a great big wonderful kiss oh yes that’s when she tried to throw the typewriter at me you see that redhe head she saw sitting on my lap was her roommate well were you Romancing

That redhead while Linda was working nights for Mr be no no now Hazel you know that I’m not bragging about my charms but that redhead made a play for me well did you tell Linda that yes yes I did and that’s when she threw the flower vase at me I’ll be right

Back coming on the double Oh Linda oh boy what a break come on in good morning Hazel Mr Baxter phoned me at home he apologized for asking me to work on Saturday but he needed these contracts in the office oh he’s right in the den I’ll get him Mr B

Oh I’m sorry I I thought you was in morning Linda good morning Mr B excuse me thank you for bringing these over I’ll if you wanted you to take these contracts back to the office as soon as I look them over why don’t you have um

Hazel make you a cup of coffee she’s here who Linda she just brought something uh-oh a flower vase a dictionary or a typewriter no no she just brought some contracts for Mr be I tell you what why don’t you take a walk around the block and I’ll get this all

Straightened out in no time I’m very good at this sort of thing I bet I get her all softened up she’ll throw her arms around you well I don’t know how you’ll do it well she’s thrown everything else at you she hasn’t got anything else but her op left to

Throw Mr Baxter said to have some coffee while I’m waiting oh well I’m just heating her up is Mrs Baxter home no she’s downtown Linda I want to talk to you about something you feel all right oh yes that is I think so why you look kind

Of peculiar I feel kind of peculiar what do you mean kind of numb numb I’m engaged huh I’m going to be married who too Mr Baxter’s law partner Harry null [Applause] last night we were at this party there were about 35 people there and everyone kept raving about what perfect dance

Partners we were what perfect Bridge Partners what perfect everything Partners we were and then someone said why don’t you do get Married Then everybody took it up and began saying why don’t you two get married then they began to chant why don’t you get married why don’t you get married why don’t you get married that’s the kind of party I’ve been looking for all my Life good morning Harry I saw your car from the window good good morning well come on in you look shaken some legal problem yes that might be a very good way of putting it well come on in if there’s anything I can do to help uh

Let’s go into the den I’m kind of busy on some contracts I’ll get it Hazel hello oh hello dear it’s Dorothy do I know where Harry all is well certainly I do why do you want to know then Linda is there too yeah she’s in the kitchen having coffee with

Hazel but but how did you know if she was here they’re both there at our house well don’t say anything about us no don’t sh I’ll tell you later darling [Applause] bye George what what’s the the best way to avoid a breach of Promise suit best way to avoid a breach of Promise suit is not to make promises what’s the second best way what are you talking about Harry we’re Corporation lawyers you haven’t accepted

A breach of Promise case have you no I I haven’t accepted one I’m trying to avoid one good we certainly don’t want to get mixed up in any messy stuff like that now do we well we certainly don’t want to I just possibly might get one dumped in my lap

Well sometimes we get stuck that way sometimes we have to help a client with personal problems but off hand I can think of only one or two of our clients dumb enough to get mixed up in anything like that Mr Griffin no no not Mr Griffin well you see George this poor

Fell’s always thought of himself as a sort of charming Playboy he’d like to stay that way I knew it old Mr Barker well what has the numb skull done written the girl some letters no no letters that’s one thing the numb skull missed he just just asked

A girl to marry him well uh was there a witness to the nitwitz proposal I said uh was there a witness I’m counting 35 35 well it’s an uneven number because it was in a party one fell didn’t have a date I wish it had been

Me no 35 Witnesses why he had a bigger audience than some television shows well we have no legal case the man’s as good as married George there must be some way out Harry I can tell you with 35 Witnesses Barker is signed sealed and delivered to that ball and chain wasn’t Mr

Barker well it had to be Barker or Griffin who else do we know that’s that stupid you [Laughter] Harry that’s terrific that’s Sensational At Last At long glass some little red writing hood has bitten the wolf who’s the girl Linda Linda Linda not my secretary Harry you can’t do this to me

Linda’s the best secretary I’ve ever had she used to be the best secretary you ever had I don’t want my wife to work Hazel will you please answer the Door is she softened up oh uh uh why don’t you take another walk around the block I tell you what why don’t you walk around that block there it’s bigger I’ll bet I’m right how much do you want to bet oh it had absolutely nothing to do with Phil how much do you want to bet you got mad at Phil and you wanted to hurt him so you accepted Mr n’s proposal but I wasn’t even thinking of Phil it it

Was the excitement everyone urging us to get married and and I just got carried away with it and said yes and now I don’t know how to get out of it oh well all you got to do is to just tell them you changed your mind and if there was a

Law against women changing their minds we’d all be in jail it’s not that I don’t like him I I do I’m really quite fond of him but you don’t love him no and you don’t want to marry him no well then all you got to do is just tell him

You’ve been considering the pros and cons and the cons won just tell him that you’re very honored that he offered himself and in his name but that you’ve decided to be an old maid an old maid but who said anything about being an old maid well you don’t

Want to marry Phil and you don’t want to marry Mr null that’s the way you’re heading but if we was to consider all of Phil’s good points maybe we could make out a case for him no I’ve I’ve already said yes to Mr Nolan and and he’s

Deliriously in love with me I I just couldn’t hurt him frankly George I expected a more constructive attitude from you really yes I expected you to figure some way to get me out of this Jam Harry that’s what I like about you the friendly ungrudging way you share your hot potatoes with me

George you know I don’t want to get married at least not until I’m a little older I want to have some fun out of life while I’m still young I don’t want you to get married either I don’t want to give up the best secretary I’ve ever had George you don’t understand the

Urgency of this we told everybody we were going to be married today this morning Linda’s sitting at home right right now waiting for me to call her and take her to the license bureau she isn’t sitting at home she’s in the kitchen with hazel she she’s here yes come on we’ll

Have a little talk with her she she’s here Harry will you stop dragging your feet I’m not dragging my feet I just happen to have weak knees I’ll sit down and massage them you go talk to her all right you sit here and I’ll bring her here must you Eric

I’m going to help you wiggle out of this for my own sake it’s simply a matter of giving her reasons why she shouldn’t marry you and off hand I can think of 10 Million but Hazel how can I tell him I don’t love him oh uh Linda would you mind coming into the den for a moment oh certainly Mr Baxter if you’re through with the contracts I’ll take them back to the office for you well as a matter of fact I haven’t looked at the

Contracts yet but Harry n and I would like to have a little talk with you Harry is here yes we’d like to have just a little chat Harry is here Here I can’t do it Hazel I can’t face him make up some excuse to tell Mr Bter Linda Di lady Harry dear I I was just hurrying home to call you I was just uh hurrying home to get the call I mean I I would have called you earlier but I thought you might be sleeping late oh well I I didn’t sleep late in fact I didn’t sleep at

All neither did I and in all this confusion we won’t be able to get to the license bureau it’s Saturday closes at noon they do oh what a shame it’s an awful piece of bad luck yes yes yes yes when Mr n proposed last night he

Swept her off her feet and she said yes but believe me she didn’t mean it when Mr null proposed believe me he didn’t mean it either and now she ain’t got the nerve to tell him neither has Mr n well believe me I got the nerve I’ll fix it

Hazel now you stay out of this this calls for diplomacy untact I’ll handle it but Phil is the one she really loves only she won’t admit it I got to get them two together Hazel don’t start playing Cupid we have enough Cupid around here as it is I’m up to here in

Cupid well sometimes it takes a third person to help and sometimes three is a crowd now please stay out of This we uh we met out in the yard uh Linda Harry please come into the living room please please come and sit down there’s uh something I have to say to both of you sit down now then impetuosity is a wonderful thing most of the times sometimes it sets

Spirit of inspiration that sends us soaring to the skies but on the other hand sometimes impetuosity the failure to weigh all the elements involved can plunge us into an action we later regret I’ll say Mr be’s always saying I’m going off half C Hazel maybe you would like to

Say this okay you see what Hazel please isn’t there something you could do in the kitchen strained spinach or something spinach we ain’t having spinach you don’t like spinach every time I go to cook spinach you complain never mind now as I was saying Linda har Darlings congratulations

Congratulations I’ve never been so happy for two people in my life you deserve each other darling hey come on in they’re here come on hurry up they’re here hurry up where are you going on your honeymoon what this house needs is a trapo right where Missy’s standing har we we haven’t decided yet

Darling there there they are we to start a fire in the waste basket Harry congratulations congratulations we missed you at the license bureau he didn’t show up we thought you’d alop you couldn’t do that to us no sir we’re not going to let you two alope well you see we didn’t we

Harry yes that’s what happened well we were delayed and and then it was too late to go to the license bureau and yes and then now it’s closed absolutely closed not to you Harry not to you oh I enough Harry may I present Mrs Lan she is a cousin of my

Secretary how do you do Mr null how do you do and she’s a clerk of the license bureau I brought along a form and better still her husband’s ad Justice to the peace they kind of hand and gloves he can be here in half an hour and Hazel can fix a beautiful wedding

[Applause] luncheon well let’s be Optimus Mr B maybe they’ll be very happy together I just talked to my husband on the phone he’s got another couple waiting for a fast ceremony but just as soon as he gets through with them he’ll come right over you’re in har you want me to be the

Best man don’t you huh oh yeah where’s the ring ring well the best man has to give you the ring to put on her finger don’t you have the ring well no boy that’s love when you even forget the ring don’t worry old boy the best man is

Running the show Now call with that’s what I’m going to do he’s the best jeweler in town friend of mine and there a good friend of mine he’ll give you a good priz thanks so much hey y’ Mr B thanks Hazel if you need any more ice cubes we get plenty

More in the freezer so feel selfish keeping all this to myself Mr null needs a lot more than I do oh Mr null don’t need no ice bag if his she’ got any colder I’d have to start the furnace hello wi this is Stan yeah where have you been I’ve been doing

An Irish jig waiting for you come on in the kitchen a friend of mine is getting married and wants a wedding Ring would you bring a selection over to George back house right away don’t argue just write but but I don’t think that I should I’m not asking you to think I’m just asking you to write what I take you go on De Lind I love you and I’m asking your

Forgiveness in a moment of weakness when I took that girl in my arms no wait oh I didn’t take anybody in my arms now that redhead grabbed me that’s what you told Linda wasn’t it yes and she didn’t believe you did she oh like talking to a

Brick wall well the only thing to do when you hit a brick wall is to turn around and go in the opposite direction take the blame ask her forgiveness people like forgiving other people it gives them sort of a holier than thou feeling right oh so happy decorate the house and after we

Well got at least four bedrooms for him and be children and all that sort of thing seem to think it was a good idea well we discussed everything and after Mr Logan gets here oh Phil oh I forgive you but how could you do such a thing oh no no honey

That that redheaded roommate of yours is I’m not talking about her I’m talking about me how could you let me get myself into such a mess huh how could you let me get frightened out of my wits like this still how could you do such a

Thing well uh he’s sorry he let you do it and he’s he’s begging you to forgive him yes yes I’m I’m sorry and I’m pleading with you to forgive me oh Phil I’m sorry Mr n but our ice bag is in use oh oh hello Harry this is Phil he

Asked me to marry him he has a prior claim he has congratulations well considering you got a blank marriage license and a justice of piece on the way it seems a shame to waste them uh who giveth this woman in marriage I do if there be any among you who know of a

Reason why these two should not be joined together let him speak now or henceforth keep his Peace

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