Oh good morning Hazel oh hi Ral hey those sure a good-looking bath TOS good John toon they my present to Mr and Mrs Baxter on their last anniversary had a madeup Special A Now I want your honest opinion Rosie if you don’t think it’s becoming just say so well I thought maybe you folks wouldn’t be going up to the lodge this winter on account of Mr Baxter’s s hand I’m surprised he didn’t use it as an excuse you know he ain’t much for winter
Sports but you got to say this for Mr be he’s not one to deprive his wife and child you like it oh I don’t care what it cost you it’s worth it if that follow up at the lodge Johnny Manson if Johnny Manson doesn’t propose to you when he
Sees you in that outfit he never will oh Rosie Johnny’s a nice fell and he’s a lot of fun in a dog sled race but oh I ain’t interested in him romantically oh give me a grain of salt to take that with no I never even
Thought of him that way I like the brainy type oh h of course he’s a real terrific athlete and he’s a nice fellow and he’s kind of goodl looking in an outdoorsy sort of a way but G Rosie do you think maybe I am sweet on him a girl
Doesn’t buy herself an outfit like that just to keep War well I must say I was looking forward to riding in that dog sled race with Johnny but oh no take his dog sled away from him and nothing back to Residence long distance from me snowman’s Lodge oh hi Johnny you yeah
That’s me you’re blushing long time no see you know the race is wedes day and I wasn’t sure you was coming up this year oh I wouldn’t miss being in the big race for a barrel full of $10 bills me and the backers are leaving on Sunday yeah
Well we ought to be there by noon we could get in a TR Tri run before dinner yeah well that’s what I thought I better call you about hey you remember Mina Min the redheaded waitress soall oh yeah I remember her what about it well you see
I wasn’t sure you was coming up till I got your letter and I sort of half promised Min that she could ride for me and and Min lost a lot of weight this past year well I ain’t no heavyweight I never was now Johnny you know if it was
For the good of the team I’d stand aside you know that all I ask is don’t make up your mind until I get there and we both get on the scale that ain’t asking too much is it no I I I guess not Hazel okay
That’s a deal you and Min can fight it out on the scales John just a minute well see you on Sunday and give my best regard guys to the team tell them I’m bringing up some bones I’ve been saving them in the deep freeze all year bye
Johnny how do you like that she ain’t even a real red head what are you going to do these Duds must have set you back a whole week’s wages I’m going to protect my investment I better get up to that Lodge in a hurry surprise surprise candied apples
No thank you Hazel they sticking my teeth oh they for you anyway there for your dad thank you Hazel I thought these were a lot of work they are considering you’re the only person that likes them oh come on now Hazel you know you like them too oh Missy understands us girls
Have to think of a figure no they’re all for you the way I look at it is a man that does as much for his family as you do always putting their pleasure ahead of his deserves a little spoil in once in a while thank you Hazel thank you very much
Guess who I was talking to today Johnny Manson you remember him him and me won that dog race last year oh yes talking to him on our phone oh don’t worry about the bill Mr be he called me he says the snow is great up at the lodge now but
There’s no telling what it might be in a couple of days and I know how you look forward to that ski run so I got a great idea instead of leaving on Sunday why don’t we leave tomorrow night right after Mr be comes home from the office
Be fun what do you think George that way missy could get in two extra days at the ski run you know how she loves it me too boy let’s do it that what do you think George I think Hazel’s ideas now don’t say no till you think it over I think
Hazel’s ideas are very good one George you’re wonderful two more days on that ski slow you sure are a good dad there is one little hitch I can’t get away there’s some very important work I must do this weekend darling why did you let us think we could go and you didn’t mean
It you can go you can take the train up tomorrow right after school is out now you’re talking Hazel and I can go up Monday or Tuesday at the very latest Tuesday George you’re not thinking of backing out all together are you me darling if your hand is bothering you
We can put it off a couple of weeks I told you I wouldn’t mind it’s not my hand I can deal cards and that’s all I ever do up there is play peanuckle all right we’ll cancel our reservations and a as soon as your hand is well enough to
Play golf we’ll go to Florida Dorothy we go through this every year believe me I’m crazy about winter sports as long as I can watch him from the inside oh George I have been looking forward to it but and don’t you worry about me hazel
Will take very good care of me won’t you Hazel oh sure so it’s all settled you go on and I’ll try and make it by a Monday don’t worry Missy I won’t let him back out all right I’m counting on you Hazel and I don’t care care what measures you have to
Use very well George I’ll do it Yippe hi Mr be the folks get off all right yes they should almost be there by now kind of lome around here already yes it sure is I’ll have dinner whenever you want to serve it Hazel you can sit down right now good sir this place seems Mighty empty without little Harold and
Missy you’re a lucky man Mr be to have a wife and a son like them I appreciate my good fortune Hazel yes sir you got the sweetest prettiest wife in this whole town yes I have and little Harold what a kid he just worshiped you yes we’re pretty good buddies all right
Seems only yesterday he had to use a high chair no time at all it’ll be all grown up and gone to college and out of this house for good well read your paper Mr B it’s better than staring at two empty chairs you remember my friend Rosie Hamer don’t
Stand up while Miss’s away Miss hammock has kindly agreed to stay with us stay with us and Shole chapero you and me both know that a man with a young pretty wife like Missy ain’t going to be making no sheep’s eyes at me but an unmarried girl can’t afford
To take no Chances with a Reputation yes sir he close the door excuse me a minute Rosie Mr be has something confidential he wants to say to me sure thing Hazel now Hazel I know you’re disappointed about not going to the lodge as Mrs Baxter oh that’s okay it’s only till Monday ain’t it well of
Course uh but I want you to know that if the worst should happen and I shouldn’t be able to get away at all I fully intend to make it up to you how a $10 bonus well that’s very generous of you Mr Baxter but how you going to make it
Up to Missy you know she ain’t going to have a good time without you being there well I and how you going to make it up to yourself S I got an article here I want to read to you according to this article a winter vacation adds to the
Life expectancy of a man 3.8% a man your age can’t afford to throw away no 3.8% and the happiness of his wife and child and devoted servant Hazel that’ll be enough okay I’ve had my say wait a minute she’s not the one that plays a harmonica oh no sir she’s the one that
Yles R look a few BS Ho Ho Rosie you want a cup of coffee Mr be how dare you wake me up at this hour of the morning why I thought you’d want to get up early now whatever gave you that idea well maybe I’m wrong but I thought you wanted to get busy on that case you’ve
Been working on so we could get to the lodge as soon as possible Rosie would you get Mr Bee a cup of coffee sure thing Hazel I don’t want a cup of coffee I just want to know what you think you’re doing waking me up at this hour
Of the morning CLE in house black and no sugar I thought it’d be a good chance now that Missy and Har were away as long as you’re bringing it Rosie you might as well bring one for me plenty of Cream I’ll bring yours up to You je mother it isn’t even Dark Yet yeah no arguments no I want you to have a good hot bath before dinner okay are you going to give me another skiing lesson tomorrow Pat I certainly am Harold boy I sure wish my dad was here to watch me coffee Royal two please are
You expecting your husband soon well expect is a little strong he said Monday or Tuesday but George isn’t fond of Winter Resorts oh he’ll come all right I sent a postcard yesterday telling him to and I sent one to Hazel too that was thoughtful of you darling let’s hope
They get here before the cards get there now you run on upstairs okay um that’s just coffee Royal that’s right thank you pardon me is there a waitress here named Mina oh I’m Mina good I have a present for you from Hazel B Hazel they’re a specialty of
Hazel candied apples I can’t eat they just put on PW Couple of postcards from Harold special delivery listen to mine dear Hazel mother made a good friend her name is Pat she is the one who teaches you how to ski I made a snowman he looks like you come quick before he melts love Harold you
Doozy and his wife to his dad Pat is teaching me how to ski mother says if you knew how goodl looking Pat is you’d come up here quick mother and Pat make jokes all the time love Harold that sounds like the mister do you want me to start yodling now no
Thanks Rosie this calls for something drastic all I can say is Hazel if you pull this one off you ought to write a book oh I got to pull it off Miss’s dependent on me and she said she didn’t care how I did it hi How do you like the way I rearrange the furniture I don’t that’s the difference between men and women so put it back I was just trying to give Missy a little surprise put some excitement in her life well don’t say I didn’t warn you warn me what are you driving at I’m
Talking about what can happen to a marriage I’m not mentioning any names when folks don’t take their vacations together but I guess it can be helped if you got to work you got to work exactly and if Missy gets lonely and bored up there at the lodge without you she’s
Just got to make the best of it oh you got a card today from Little Harold card special delivery Dear Dad Pat is teaching me how to ski mother says if you knew how goodlook Pat is you would come up here quick mother and Pat make jokes all the time love
Herold well she doesn’t sound too lonely he must be the new ski instructor well I’m glad she’s made a new friend so quickly oh sure Missy and the ski instructor would have a lot in common you want to phone her tonight no uh she said she’d phone me about dinner
Time well I got things to do in the kitchen how you doing oh if this don’t work I’m a goner if what doesn’t work I’d be ashamed to tell you Rosie why don’t you call up the bunch and see if you can’t stir up a party you know for
When I get back in town well are you sure the mister won’t mind me tying up the phone that’s the whole idea your voice down I don’t want him to hear You says if you knew how goodlooking Pat is you’d come up here quick The line’s still busy well I’ll try again later uh Mrs Baxter you remember me Johnny Manson a captain of dog sled number three oh yes of course you’re Hazel’s friend you know Miss Bergstrom oh yes indeed Hazel uh ain’t with you this season well she’s driving having
Out with my husband oh when are they going to get here Monday I hope maybe Tuesday oh I don’t know if I can hold up till Tuesday come on now you promis to show me your fiance’s pictures okay well goodbye Mabel it was nice talking to
You sure you don’t want me to help you no why don’t you call up Hilda yeah I haven’t talked to her in a month of Sunday don’t you ought to be in there working him over no it’s like a stew you bring it to a fast boil and just let it simmer mom’s
Busy darn it hello hello Dorothy hello heel Hazel it’s for your friend she’s got it Mr be would it be too much trouble to Rosie make it snappy Mr be’s expecting a phone call from his wife thank you he it’s funny she ain’t called before this well it’s nothing to worry about she
Probably forgot you know having so much fun and all maybe I’d better call her just to make sure she got there all right oh we know she got there yes I guess we do well I think I’m going to call her anyway she’s going to be Mighty upset
When she hears the news unless you change your mind about when we can leave heel isn’t a matter of changeed my mind I don’t know when I can get away well all right then call her and give her the bad news if she gets up saach she’ll just have to get over it
Hazel do you think she might be angry with me do you suppose that’s why she hasn’t phoned oh there’s nothing to worry about your conscience is Clear I want to put in a person to person call to Mrs George Baxter snowman’s Lodge outside of Greenfield the number is clth 52638 Mr B how about a nice glass of hot milk no thank you we’ll have her page please nothing like hot milk to calm the
Nerves my nerves are fine she doesn’t will you please keep trying operator she’s not in a room or she doesn’t answer the p oh well she’s probably out on the Terrace looking at the moon with that somebody Rosie eat up some milk will you I don’t want any hot milk oh don’t let
It boil yes that’s where she is out in the Terrace there’s a full moon tonight and you can’t blame her only only what well well what even not in the Terrace you ought to be able to hear the loudspeaker pagina oh there nothing to worry about she’s probably
Just so interested in what somebody’s saying she don’t recognize her own name when she is operator I might call to clth 52638 I want to talk to Harold Baxter Rosie better make enough for all of us oh hi Dad when are you coming up boy
Are we having fun that’s nice uh is your mother around uh-uh you should have been here this afternoon I didn’t fall down for three whole minutes that’s nice uh where is she I don’t know boy pet you’re a good teacher you don’t know what do you think she is
Pupp with Pat well I’ve got to go now I’m watching a movie thanks for calling me dad this is the first long distance call of my very own I ever [Laughter] had I don’t want any this is ridiculous my wife has only been gone too nice and you’re acting as
If as if she ran off of the ski instructor what Mr be that silly just because she might be a little lonely drink your milk well how only can you get in 48 hours I knew a girl once met a man on the train on her way to witch
They got off of Kansas City oh Rosie Missy never do a thing like thaty milk I’ve never heard of such nonsense Rosie you better go out in the kitchen this is just for family operator get me clth 52638 I’ll talk to anybody Mr be there’s nothing to worry about nothing to worry
About you realize I haven’t heard from my wife in 48 hours maybe the phone was busy well she could be lost or kidnapped or lying out there in the snow under an avalanche Anything could happen this is George Baxter and I want you to find my
Wife right now just Mr bter I’ll ring her room and have her page give me that milk I’m sorry Mr Baxter well where where is she what have you done with her would you like me to try pat brom’s room Mr bter one of the clerks thought he saw them yes pack my
Bag we are pack oh he’s wonderful would you answer the phone please Dorothy hello George how did you find me up here what in blazes are you doing up there is there a party no just patting me just Paton why aren’t you taking care of Harold Harold’s perfectly all right he’s watching a
Movie George is anything the matter doesn’t sound like himself at all Dorothy are you sure there isn’t a party no no party Pat and I were just looking at some pictures George are you all right I’m fine splended I couldn’t be better and I’m happy that you’re
Enjoying yourself oh I am I’m having a perfectly glorious time I’m just dying for you and Pat to get to know each other you’ll adore her George are you there I’m here you are coming up aren’t you you want me to of course I miss you
You do you are all right aren’t you yes I I was just worried what I didn’t hear from you come as soon as you can all right darling I will she misses me hey hey well for pe’s sake what are we waiting for Then well girls I guess this is it huh who who’s going to get on the scale first I’ll go first I got nothing to worry about would you mind holding my watch yeah 145 hm and in perfect condition till next 142 take your hand off his shoulder well I was only steadying
Myself 160 lb darling so sweet of you coming up here to be with me next year we go to Florida that’s a promise hey look what’s got ain’t it a juy that’s beautiful congratulations Hazel you and Johnny ran a great race oh Florida and if we win it
Next year I get to keep it suppose I talked to the hotel manager would that H what well yes I did say that that well I I met it but I well wait just a moment Mr Butterworth wants to know if we can invite Mr Mrs Durham to be our
House guest for a few days when well tonight now they’re already in town but they can’t stay at the hotel why not Mr Butterworth I just spoke to Dorothy and our guest room is empty so I’ll be right down to the hotel to pick
Them up no no no trouble at all and give my best regards to Mrs Butterworth goodbye your boy sure has a nerves inviting guests without giving us notice hael I don’t like the idea either but since Mr Butterworth thought it important enough to call from San Francisco we have to give them some
Consideration well I’m still waiting to hear why they can’t stay at the hotel you did remember to make the reservation didn’t you oh yes that isn’t it Mr Butterworth didn’t go into detail but he did say they were pretty upset because of the hotel’s attitude toward their little
Rodney you mean there’s three of them them Mr and Mrs and their little boy well it seems like it if he’s as old as I am that would be great well I don’t know whether it will or not Mr Butterworth also commented that he certainly understood the hotel’s attitude toward the little
Monster come on Missy maybe we can finish the game before the guests get here whose turn is it mine and if I got a juy of a word if I can just spell Catastrophe Hazel is brought to you By quiet Rodney there there Rodney you know Momsy won’t let anybody Hur her little boy that’s little Rodney yes and these are his parents I mean the owners Mr Mrs Aon Durham my wife Dorothy my son Harold and this is Hazel how do you do how do you doing uh won’t
You sit down thank you that’s a good boy you see these not nice people aren’t going to hurt my precious baby oh you Mr Baxter lovely home you have here Mrs Baxter thank you for inviting us well you’re welcome I just hope that you and Mrs Durham and Rodney enjoy your visit
Here with us that hotel manager had no heart at all expecting my darling to stay in the basement kennels why we haven’t been separated for a single night have we dear your dog sure isn’t very friendly Mr dur oh oh well you’ll get used to him you
Want a bed Hazel I think it’ be nice if you made coffee for everyone now yes Hazel U maybe they’d like a slice of that fresh coconut cake you baked oh nothing to eat thanks we had dinner on the plane but uh coffee would certainly
Be welcome I’ll have it in a jiffy you just relax I’ll be right back give you you don’t mind please serve it in our room and bring a bowl of warm milk for Rodney we’re a bit tired after our trip so if you’ll show us to our quarters Mrs
Baxter oh oh yes of course right upstairs come on this Way Son H how would you like to help me with their luggage sure [Applause] Dad Well we uh got all their luggage Upstairs now look I couldn’t help it I had to bring them here where’s Harold he’s outside visiting Smiley oh boy it’s a good thing that dog was out of the house on Rodney got here why why Hazel if those two meet that’ll be the biggest dog fight you ever saw and if anything
Happened to little Rodney little Rodney he could take take on King Kong exactly George is the relationship between Mr Butterworth and the durhams Mrs Durham is Mrs Butterworth’s sister well then why didn’t the DMS go to their house you know the butterworths are out of town well I can understand that they left
Town as soon as they heard the durs were coming with little Rodney Hazel that had nothing to do with it I don’t think I still don’t see why we should be in convenience by Mr Butterworth’s relatives we can’t just tell him to go sleep in the Park oh Joe George besides
Mr der’s business is very profitable to our Law Firm it is it certainly is Mr durm is here to look for a site for a new Factory so inconvenient or not we can’t afford to be inhospitable to the DMS how long are we going to have to put up with
Them well four or five days maybe a week a week George we can’t keep Rodney and smiley separated for a whole week I know so I think maybe you should take Smiley to a boarding kenel the first thing in the morning oh oh no not me you’re going
To kick Smiley out and keep little Rodney it’s the only thing we can do under the circumstances oh well excuse me I got to take little Rodney his warm milk well now you can see it’s the best solution can’t you don’t explain it to me George you explain it to Harold [Applause] hey Dad is it okay with you if I let Smiley sleep on my bed tonight the way Mrs der’s letting Ronnie sleep on hers uh son uh uh sit down uh let’s have a little talk sure Dad well now first I want you to know that Mr Durham is a
Very important man oh he doesn’t act half as important as Mrs durm oh well that’s not quite what I was getting at the point is we want to make them feel welcome and I think it’ll be best for everyone if if we sent Smiley away while they’re here send him away why
Well you can see how Rodney acts he’d never get along with smiley but dad smiley lives here well son uh uh think of it this way we’ll be giving Smiley a vacation a vacation from what oh he’ll like that boarding kennel it’ll be something like going off to summer
Camp believe me son uh I uh I wouldn’t do this if I wasn’t convinced it’s best for everyone you understand that don’t you I guess so well come along get your coat we’ll take him over there now you can explain it to him on the Way I didn’t even hear George get up this morning what time did he and Mr Duram leave 7:30 and and Mr Durham says they’d be getting up this early every morning till he finds the sight to the factory oh the sooner the better that dog kept me awake most of
The night what’d he do he snores I can hear him right through the wall I don’t know how they can stand it oh that’s why Mr durm wears them things what things earplugs he was still wearing them when he came down to breakfast this morning that sounds like a good idea I think
I’ll buy some for George and me you know Missy I think we was kind of hard on Mr be last night he feels terrible about Smiley he doesn’t like Rodney being here any more than we do I know that’s what I figured so I decided I’d cooperate and make it easy on
Everybody that’s right Hazel if we meet the situation with a little less resistance we’ll make it more tolerable for ourselves good morning good morning good morning careful are you in the dining room come on in morning morning well good morning to you you too Ronnie oh well I’m sure sorry to hear
That but you’ll feel better when you see what I got for you poor baby he’s just like his daddy always grouchy until after he’s had his breakfast oh well he’ll cheer up when he sees what I got come on I wasn’t sure what he liked best so I
Got them all oh that’s too bad but I’m sure they’ll let you exchange them Rodney doesn’t eat dog food he don’t I’ve made out his menu to guide you for breakfast he has four Poached Eggs six slices of bacon crisp one piece of buttered toast cut into bite-sized
Squares for lunch a pint of cottage cheese for dinner either a sliced tendering medium rare or sirine tips no cavar no he doesn’t like caviar but occasionally he enjoys a shrimp cocktail and if of course he always has a bowl of warm milk at night so he’ll sleep
Well well Hazel and I I want you and Rodney to be comfortable while you’re here and we’re very anxious to cooperate aren’t we Hazel yeah po poach egg coming right up just orange juice and coffee for me you can bring everything right upstairs whenever it’s ready come Rodney
Dear hey wait a minute you mean everything you mean you want Rodney breakfast in the guest room we always have breakfast together in our bedroom at home Rodney will feel less upset if we continue the same routine here poor baby he’s so sensitive like Missy says we’ll we’ll cooperate Splendid and after breakfast
Dorothy I thought it would be great fun if we could go shopping at some of the better stores with Rodney no unfortunately he doesn’t like shopping he’ll be much happier here with hazel oh boy I can hardly wait isn’t that wonderful Rodney Hazel must be Sagittarius we sagittarians are more sympatico with
Rodney than any other zodiacal sign you know I’ll hurry and get ready so we can leave right after breakfast come Dear hey that’s Mr be’s favorite chair get out of There oh s it down it’s just Bonnie the mailman well now that’s more like it hi Bonnie is that you Hazel don’t worry B I’ll get him he now he now sit him down you here come on you can come down now Bonnie oh
No not till you lock that dog up oh well he ain’t ours he’s just visiting come on you Ouch come on come on like that all keep locked up in the cage Rodney did that yeah just like he was shot out of a gun done chased a grocery boy up the tree just like he did Bonnie well then what happened well the grocery boy stayed up the tree until I
Got Rodney back in the house just like Bonnie did boy things are sure ding around here since Rodney came yeah that dog is just taking over everything you know last night he wouldn’t even let Dad sit in his favorite chair I guess he’s taking that over too oh sure today the
House tomorrow the whole neighborhood we’re going to have to do something about that dog before it’s too late all right Harold if you’re ready we better go hi where are you taking him Missy over to the kennel oh come on now no matter how much he misses Smiley the
Kennel ain’t going to take how in to board oh Hazel what’s so funny I just going over to the kennels to visit Smiley Hazel after that Mom’s dropped me over at Freddy’s house I ain’t staying there all night oh well wait a minute here take this to him some candy she
Thanks that candy for Smiley not Freddy [Applause] I’m sure it’s going to be a lovely party right this way ladies and gentlemen oh Hazel how nice I thought you might like a little snack in in case they served you dinner late those are delicious I’ll have two right he drinks or appetizers appetizers silly come on and sit
Down Mr B I fixed it so you get your favorite chair tonight that’s what you Think how’ you get him to do that dogly P it gets him every time well uh Mr Durham um have you had any uh any luck in finding some property oh my yes several pieces oh that’s wonderful yes but it’s only the beginning oh now the Dickering starts and it looks
Like it’s going to be some time before any of those owners come around to my price well I uh I believe that the Maple Avenue property is not too far out of line I uh think it uh perhaps it won’t be too long before they accept your offer well
You never can tell about these things George from now on it’s going to be something like a game of poker just going to have to sit back and wait it out well I do hope it won’t take too long Ashton you know how difficult Rodney can be when he gets
Bored if you ask me he was born Bor oh I just noticed the time if we don’t leave now we’ll be late now you be a good little boy while moms’s away Asel first thing in the morning I want you to call the Exterminator and have that chair [Applause] Fumigated He zo it’s okay Bonnie it’s safe I got them all tied Up for Bonnie you can make It come you know Rodney ain’t so dumb he’s just been raised wrong well the rcks for the child you know what I mean now just a minute Hazel oh I didn’t buy no Rod to beat him with if that’s what you mean Mr no this book tells you how to train a
Dog and this special College helps you do the job but Hazel Rodney’s been spoiled all his life he’s little old to change now well the book says a dog is never too old to learn Hazel I admit there are plenty of things Rodney should be taught but you’re Don toon and I’m
Just the girl to teach him that us humans has got to be obeyed no no no Rodney I paid $4.95 for that book r no no there there dear morning good morning Hazel just um put it on the table there the sunai oh dear he did it again the poor baby
Had such a restless night he sneezed four times you know say the poor darling’s completely exhausted this morning so I think you better let him rest now Hazel and serve his breakfast later on are you kidding you mean because he sneezed four times he’s too
Weak to eat oh I do hope he isn’t going to start suffering with his allergy again I never heard of an allergic dog Rodney’s not another one of those unfortunate cases the doctors can diagnose but don’t know how to cure yes it’s a sort of combination of asthma
And hay fever that overcomes him and when it happens all we can do is head straight for main great to where after all else had failed the doctors recommended Rodney have a change of climate the only place he could get any relief was Maine no than R me darling you’re feeling
Better look Hazel it isn’t his allergy after all no it isn’t come here baby mother will serve your breakfast right away before it gets cold you want to buy what that’s right uh six of them no no you better make it a dozen and they got to be in bloom I guess I
Could find something for you in that vacant lot in back of the gas works but I got to charge you for potting them oh it’ll be worth it I’ll pick him up this Afternoon what’s she suddenly so happy about it can’t be she’s learned to like serving breakfast in bed to a dog mom she feels so sorry for a baby good morning I don’t think he’ll eat a thing the poor darling’s allergy is back he had a terrible night
Oh get packing we we have to leave for Maine just as soon as I can finish it’s the only way Rodney can get any relief well we want to get him well as fast as we can anything I can do to help Goodbye Mr I’ll send the papers to me in Maine
As soon as you close the deal and thanks for putting us up I will goodbye byebye I can hardly believe they’re gone they left in such a hurry I’m glad now Smiley can come home yeah but I feel sort of guilty about the dirty trick I pulled on Rodney what dirty trick
Look hezel that’s rag weed yeah I planted it as soon as I heard about Rodney’s allergy I hope he gets over quick don’t worry Hazel we won’t report you to the sbca as a matter of fact I’m going to recommend you for a citation from the spcp what’s the spcp well
That’s a society for the prevention of cruly to people especially mailman Harold Let’s uh pick up Smiley that’s what I’ve been waiting to hear dad oh the sunai bo you better get rid of that rag or they’ll be shipping you off to Main I’m the floor Walker Madam may I help you are you kidding where’s the sales lady buster [Applause] darling you’re absolutely gulping your food oh well Hazel and I are going to be watching the fight on television and I want to be finish her dinner in time is she going to watch on the living room set yes uhoh what do you mean uh-oh well while
You’re watching the fight there’s no problem but afterward you always disagree with her over what to watch that’s true because she likes the silliest shows but still I want her there watching the fight tonight is it a championship Bo oh no it’s just a couple
Local boys down at the Armory but one of them’s a terrific New Prospect named Killer Davis greatest Prospect in years he’s going to fight Tiger burlson Tiger burlson isn’t that the one Hazel always bets on well yes you know how loyal she is and Tiger’s a friend of her
Nephews when Hazel suggests are you you shall bet tonight she’s in for a big surprise aren’t you going to better certainly I am but instead of the $1 I’m going to suggest we make it five you’re trying to get even aren’t you there I
Think ha and I are just about even as it is I think $5 is too much Hazel probably won’t bet you she’ll do it she always bets but tonight I’m the one who can’t lose this Davis is a CCH how can you be so sure inside information you see the elevator
Operator in our office building was at the gym the other day while he was there tiger sprained his right hand now believe me a fighter without a right hand is in worse shape than a dancer with one foot oh this D so slaughtering oh I’m sorry to bother you
Just before you go in the ring Tiger but I want to know if that pus helped your hand ah I thought it would yeah cuz I used it on Mr B when he bunged up his hand oh that’s okay tiger I just wanted to check up you know
Before Mr be and me make our usual bet good [Applause] Luck how did you like the way I hey you didn’t drink your milk I don’t care for any tonight milk’s loaded with calcium and you got those I do not have brittle hands you just wearing that cast to collect autographs you better drink your milk darling I finished mine oh for Pete’s
Sake that’s the way Mr B you going to watch the fights tonight I am I was wondering if you wouldn’t like to get a little bet going you know just to make it interesting I think that might be a range Hazel I kind of favor tiger
Burlson he’s a friend of my nephews you know yes I know I favor killer Davis well now ain’t that convenient that puts us on opposite sides shall we make it I usual well I was thinking for tonight we might increase it a little okay with me
You want to make it a dollar and a half what do you say we make it $5 $5 he must have been nipping at my cooking Cherry I have not we never bet that much no confidence in your fighter oh sure I just want to take advantage of you I’m so far ahead
Of him now it’s pathetic oh no you’re not is it the better isn’t it sure it’s a b any guests dropping in tonight no not tonight why don’t you come in and watch it on our side oh well I can’t even see the Fighter’s faces on that little 10 inch of
Mine ladies and gentlemen for our feature bout this evening we present to upand cominging Young Fighters for your enjoyment in the white trunks killer Davis a good boy a sucker for a right cross who’s going to hit him the referee no the referee be too busy
Lifting your man up off the canvas but why don’t you move over I know you like to sit in the middle oh thanks Missy and in the black trunks tiger Fon That’s My Boy last five rounds beautiful dream W to me the boys are in their Court is waiting for the bell and
Here’s Sam Mas to give you the blowby blow description Sam the boys made in the center of the Ring Davis flicks out his left tiger blocks the punch with Davis throws around house right a left a right back tiger against the Rope Tiger goes into his shell but those blows seem
To be getting through to him well Hazel I’ll say this much for a tiger he makes a good punching bag thanks Mr B I’ll say this much for Davis he’d be a pretty frightening opponent in a game of pity Pat that is if he played a hard left by Davis
Another B back that’s right Mr B you got to think of the household Bill those left are jaring a hard right to the ri I don’t know what’s the matter with tiger tonight from what we’ve seen so far those boys shouldn’t be in the same ring oh this Tiger’s hopelessly outclass you
Know I think I like chocolate ice cream of all Davis seems to be in complete Command tiger hasn’t even tiger flicks out his left Davis counters with a tiger throws the right cross and Davis is down the referee is coming get up you bum more ice cream Missy seven get up 8
9 10 and it’s all over for killer Davis a good boy that fight was fixed it sure fixed your way if you ain’t got the five I’ll put it on your tag Mr I have the five oh thanks would you mind turn your head okay now what do we
Watch don’t you have some dishes to wash I got them all rinse and stacked I’m going to do them before I go to bed oh I see TV courtrooms on tonight shall we watch that no hael I don’t like that show oh you must have caught it on a bad
Night it’s usually terrific last week they had this sweet little old lady with a bead bag who was a we are not watching TV courtroom being a lawyer he’d be fascinated say in 15 minutes Kane Mutiny is on I already seen it so have I Hazel but I believe it’s worth watching again
Yes that’s a wonderful picture I’ve seen it for times four sure it’s a great picture but when you see it that many times there’s not much you can get out of it you know what I mean Mr be yes Hazel gets to the point where the engine ain’t no surprise
Anymore get my point Mr to be yes Hazel oh that cast is so great I could see that no I don’t think you got my point what I mean is can we watch something else Hazel Mrs baon and I are going to watch K Mutiny now if you want to watch
Something else you have a set in your own room oh sure well I guess I’ll watch TV courtroom I’d like to watch the roller skating races but on that little set of mine I can’t see any of the infighting find my left shoe you got it Mr B oh for a piz here
Oh I sure hope my picture don’t start flopping over that where the picture gets slandy get both of those at once and it can ruin a show he good night hazel good night Hazel well this is our television set darling of course we don’t have to watch Kan
Muty no we don’t but yes we do as a matter of principle Hazel can’t expect to barge in her and tell us what shows to watch she didn’t barge in here George you invited her in to watch the fight with you oh Dorothy I’m not talking
About just tonight well our set has a perfect picture and hers has flop over and wait a minute you’re right I’m going to eliminate that excuse for watching our set right now what you going to do George I’m going to tell her to bring in a repair man in the morning there’s no
Reason in the world why her set shouldn’t be in perfect condition maybe we should buy her a new one Dorothy you can’t throw out television sets like use cleaning tissues she had that one a long time it’s plenty good enough we’ll just get it fixed and that is [Applause]
All come on in I’m decent as I would like to did you decide not to watch K mutiny no we’re going to watch it but tomorrow I want you to call a television repair man and have him put your set in perfect working order oh no Mr B that
Ain’t necessary I was just reading this ad in my applied mechanics learn television repair in your spare time Mr WMC of Seattle Washington earned $500 the first month just thinking of writing in for the course eel don’t be ridiculous uh let me see what kind of a picture you get
Here after you turn on the knob you have to hit up in the corner there hit it yeah to loosen it [Applause] [Laughter] up this is awful you should catch it on a bad night how long has it been like this a month or two maybe well why haven’t you
Said something well I didn’t want to bother you you got enough on your your mind Hazel I want you always to come to me when you have problems and as for this set well it just isn’t worth repairing tomorrow I’ll buy you a new one you can’t afford it Mr be of course
I can’t afford it but your insurance is due this month I know when a man takes out insurance late in life the way you did you know that eats up quite a chunk hael believe me I can handle it did you pay your doctor’s bills certainly well
Then you got the mortgage due and Harold’s college fund and your good blue suits getting awful tacky you need a new suit and Missy wants that sofa oh no Mr B I don’t think we can afford it this month hael I know whether I can afford
It or not I can and I’m going to buy you one and that’s final darling King Mutiny is just coming on did you tell her to send for the repair man I did not I put my foot down we’re buying her a new set Well no Rosie I haven’t decided what model said I want but we’re going to buy it this morning I’m wearing my new green gabardine so Mr be will be proud to be seen with me well I don’t know well don’t you think my mink is a little stylish for daytime excuse oh
What Missy George is almost ready oh all right uh I got to go now Rosie be sure and use those nose drops you’ll feel better in the morning well you’re all gussied up too you going with us oh I wish I could but I have to meet a client at the Lamp Shop
Oh Rosie says she thinks I ought to wear my cloth coat with a mint collar don’t you think that sort to show off at daytime oh I think that would be perfect makes me feel just like a movie star you look lovely in it that’s what they keep telling me down
At the bowling alley well here it is I keep it loaded with Mo BS I don’t want no mo using it as an or dir you think they’ll notice the smell well they might yes oh well it’s a good clean smell I’ll put some of my cologne
On it that ought to hide it tell Mr be I won’t be a jiffy all right I don’t want to overdo this stuff’s expensive George oh is she ready yeah she’ll be right out do you know what I heard her saying to Rosie on the phone
She said she was wearing her new green dress so you’d be proud to be seen with her really oh that Hazel’s all right you know on the way downtown I think I’ll take her to shoemakers and get some of that good coffee she’ll love that Dar oh and one other thing George
She’s wearing her coat with a new mink collar and it just reeks of moth balls so pretend you don’t notice well I’m a little sad my don’t you look nice you smell it yes my best cologne imported from Japan the land of romance it’s very nice isn’t it George
Yes very nice cologne it’s what makes all them oriental women so inscrutable Angel I think we better get going okay see you later Missy Are you opening the windows Mr B I didn’t know you were such a fresh air F fresh air is healthful Hazel a person’s life can depend On only the finest of materials have gone into the set and the record player is stero of course it’s called oriental night oh Lov what do you and your wife think of it she’s not my wife we ain’t even engaged no used to letting these silly
Rumors get around I work for m is domestic engineer this looks awful expensive it’s just been reduced to8 $895 what are you out of your mind just because he’s got a pleasant face don’t mean he’s stupid you just want something practical for my room right Mr B right
We’d like to see something in a table model television set with remote control without remote 21 in screen 17 in all right if it’s electric right this way folks now is there any particular finish you would like on the campus yeah Mahogany it’s so classy the rest of my
Stuff is all junk you heard of the elephant’s graveyard well my room was where all the old Maple Furniture goes to die please now this is a very fine set mahogany $1 18950 oh that’s a dog I think this one here will do very nicely that is unless you might have something
That’s cheap yes I am sorry sir this is our least expensive set well all right I’d like to see a picture oh oh no that ain’t necessary Mr B Hazel I’m paying for the set I want to see the picture would you mind turning the set on no
Just forget it Mr B are you going to pay cash yes if the picture is all right and and $1 18950 is what you’re willing to pay huh yes well now we got that set now uh we’d like to see some color sets color sets are you out of your mind I’m not
Going to buy you a color set I’m not asking you to but you’re not going to back down on the 18950 are you no Hazel if the picture is fine then I will run well I’ll pay the rest and with your $1 18950 and the money I got here I can
Take care of the down payment and the rest I can pay on time right I’m sure it can be arranged Madam right this way please maybe if you get a color set too he’d give us a real bgin I am not interested in a color set no I guess you
Don’t need one if you want to see it you can always hang around my room right hi Mr Baxter am I the first no Rosie they’re a good half a dozen ahead of you well I would have come to the back door but Hazel said that I know she painted
The back porch this afternoon boy I’ve never seen color TV before well excuse me another first nighter yeah that’s another one seems to me the least Hazel could do was answer the door I told her we get a darling it’s her first night with her new television set don’t tell
Me that’s all she talked about while she served dinner did you know it’s the color set Dad yes Harold yes and Dorothy I don’t ever want to hear of her climbing up on that roof again what will the neighbors think she was putting up the antenna she should have gotten a
Serviceman to do it oh George is trying to save money I don’t care I would have paid for it oh no not again I answer it do you know that one man asked me if this was a Hazel Burke residence hi hi Harold what’s that oh just about
Your cookies I know Haz will be serving coffee Hey brother can you finish that puzzle alone I think so why I’m going in ha’s room and help her watch her new TV everybody seems to be helping Hazel to watch a new TV set oh she called a
Few of her friends a few when she was on the phone for an hour I know because I tried to use it I want to confirm our Bridge dat with Bob and Margaret Waters oh this ceases to be funny I’ll get it darling think this was the opening night of my fair
Lady am I in time time oh excuse me he’s invited me over to watch the Perry Como show oh that is on denied sure he will never miss it she’s president of the local fan club you know I know well you’ll just make it right in there and through the
Kitchen darling did you know that the pericom show will be on in a few minutes good he’s terrific I’ll warm up the set well I was thinking why don’t we go out to Hazel’s room and watch it in color we’ve always watched on this set what’s wrong with this set well it
Doesn’t show the color of the costumes of the sets or even Perry’s eyes who cares what color his eyes are just joking darling well you can go out and watch it I’ll stay here all right George I’ll be back right afterward who cares what color his eyes are a stop to
This now look here margar bu I tried to call you earlier about the bridge game but our phone was tied up come in come in how are you George F how’s the hand oh come along great where’s darthy well she’s in Hazel’s room but I’ll call her
And we can get started right away well we didn’t come over to play bridge Hazel ask us over to see a new TV set yes I called her about a recipe per Como on you mind if we go right out we don’t miss anything I suppose you don’t no no
No no you go right ahead oh well aren’t you coming it’s a color set I know it’s a color set no I I have some work to do we’ll see you later George bye bye Bye evening Mr the backst hazel good evening uh she asked you over called me at work come in thank you I’ll show you the way you know frankly I don’t see what’s so marvelous about this color television you were excited at the store oh I wasn’t so excited well you
Pull up a chair and sit down in front of the set I just pretended to enjoy it to please Hazel but when Hazel wanted to leave you wouldn’t go well it was right in the middle of the program besides it happens to be one of my favorite shows a cooking program for
PE you know you ought to run for district attorney right through that doorway thank youon as we hi Mr th come on in hi Hazel I brought you some posies right one of my favorite songs be very far dream alone excuse me I just want to put these in Water oh hello Mr be oh I was just getting a drink of water oh you want to drink milk I don’t want milk why didn’t you come in and join us no thank you Hazel Frank gall’s just coming on you know where you hear his voice and Perry
Looks up at the ceiling I am not okay Asel what color are Perico’s eyes thank you very much Madam the set will be delivered tomorrow morning Mr Thon oh good morning Mr bter don’t tell me Hazel’s having trouble with her set she’s only had it one month no it’s working fine
Unfortunately unfortunately yes I hardly see my family anymore they’re in Hazel’s room watching it almost every night tell me Mr thoron uh how soon can I get delivery on a color television set well then should we watch the special oh that’s fine with me can I turn it on in
A moment son you see the best part of having this color set is that has brought you and Mommy back into the living room believe me I was lonesome watching television alone for George why didn’t you come in Hazel’s room and watch because I didn’t want to’s going
To be on in a couple of minutes yes Hazel we know we intend to watch it you want to come in my room and watch it Missy oh I think I’ll stay here Hazel oh sure you got your own color TV now what about you Harold no thanks I want to
Stay here well okay Hazel yes Mr B now you can turn on the set son okay come here why don’t you sit down and join us you mean it of course oh thanks I like to sit in the middle [Applause] Hey lady lady who me yeah you you know what n o spells no it spells no that’s what I said p a r k i n g no parking oh well I was going to pick up my boss and there was no place over in the parking
Lady that’s sign don’t say no Park except I’m going to pick up my boss it just says no Park say ain’t I met you someplace before maybe it was at the policeman’s benefit circus I go to all them policeman’s fairs and I know some very influential people in the police force sent Gallaher
And all right I’m moving the car I’m moving it what about them taxi cabs out there what about them well they’re in the no parking Zone too wa they got to unload passengers yeah well I got to load some and and and if you’re going to give me a
Ticket well then they deserve one too okay uh but let’s uh start with you first huh oh no no never mind never Mind it’s been nice meeting you Mr well it’s been a great pleasure meeting you sir yes sir I have I’d like you to have this copy of my autobiography tell us how I made my fortune well thank you sir I’ll certainly study this as a married man I
Could use a little of your Golden Touch I think you’ll like it thank you bye Mr Katie bye you sir Mr B oh hello hazel I’m sorry I was late but I was hunting for a place to park oh that’s all right I thought maybe he
Hadn’t received my telegram oh no we got you wi I was to meet you at the airport and then go with you to the office oh where’s the car about three blocks beyond your office what thanks to the efficiency of the local police force hael did you see who I was just talking
To there no who William Samson Katie the millionaire the multi-millionaire affectionately known to the Bureau of internal revenue as midus oh where is he I want to get a look at him no Haz he’s gone he just shook my hand and left oh let’s see your
Hand I thought maybe it have turned to cold no not yet but I think I better keep it the safe deposit box tonight and what’s this his autobiography A Billion to one when we got on the plane in New York everyone was crowding around him asking questions but all he would say
Was if you want to know anything about me just buy my book oh I got to read that oh you wouldn’t talk to anyone on the plan except me and we became very friendly for your charm huh well it wasn’t actually my charm that started him talking it was rather a an
Embarrassing accident oh what happened well Hazel I’d rather not discuss it so come on let’s go oh no Mr B tell me what happened I said I’d rather not discuss it the thought of it but still turns my stomach upside down all the way to the office he kept
Saying I don’t want to discuss it I don’t want to discuss it so I just badged him until he discussed it well what happened well you see he was sitting on the plane next to this Mr Katie and Mr Katie was just sitting there you know he wasn’t saying anything
Just grouchy and grumpy until uh lunch came along you know and Mr be start to eat his ice cream what flavor ice cream do they serve you on a plane well I don’t know SP Carl don’t interrupt well anyway Mr be picked up this little paper
Cup and poured it over the ice cream you know he thought it was strawberry syrup and it was ketchup ketchup on ice cream that’s what Mr Katie said do you eat ketchup on ice cream oh for heaven’s sakes well you got to admit it ain’t the tastiest way to start a conversation but
Mr be was too proud you know to admit that he made a mistake steak so he said yes and ate it oh it sounds just like George so after he ate it and and kept it down Mr Katie said I admire you you’re a man like me you’re an
Individualist well I can think of a better word so then they was buddies and he gave him a free copy of his autobiography oh it’s got a little ketchup on it I better get that Off hello yes uh several women in the lobby to see you sir usual kind yes sir dead bastard I’m sorry Mr Katie cannot be disturbed at the moment I cursed the day I ever wrote that autobiography was the most stupid thing I’ve ever done yes sir well don’t be so
Quick to agree with me AR well actually it wasn’t your fault sir it was the Publisher’s idea yes trying to make me seem more human warm and appealing he called it yeah just a harmless little lie to give me a better Public Image believe me I didn’t build my fortune
Being warm and appealing well perhaps that particular passage could be deleted from succeeding additions no the damage is done and I can just see about 10 million bomy brain romantic women reading that Li their jaws hanging open their eyes popping out Jeers creepers what’s the matter Hazel I got to call Rosie why well just read that for yourself oh no I think I’ll run over there I can’t wait for anything as slow as Electricity Hazel did you get me out of the bathtub to ask me that well I just want you to tell it just the way you always told it well if you think I’m going to stand here and get pneumonia you got well I I can’t tell you what I
Know cuz I got to prove something so you just tell it the way you always told it well I was driving along and I saw this man standing on the highway what year was that Hazel if you’re trying to find out how old I am again you can just
Forget it I’m 30 through go on go on keep talking well I gave him a lift to the bus station and when he got out he said lovely lady or was it beautiful lady well never mind just just keep talking well he said lovely lady henceforth whatever I get in
Life I shall owe to you I was standing on the highway not knowing which course to pursue so I let fate decide would somebody give me a LIF to the east or to the west and you know who that was no who William Samson Katie oh don’t be
Silly it was a bomb no it says so in his autobiography he owes all his success to a mystery woman who gave him a lift to the bus station on what highway the highway of life no mine was Route 22 that’s the one he mentioned I tell you
It was you and all these years he’s been searching all over the world so he could repay you so now you just get dressed and get into your prettiest dress I don’t know how I could have been so stupid is to let you talk me in the coming down to Mr Katie’s Hotel oh wait till he sees you he’ll probably fall flat on his face and kiss your feet I’m Mr Katie’s secretary come in please but
I haven’t told you who my friend is yet she’s the mystery lady in Mr Katie’s book come in please how do you know she’s a mystery lady who isn’t everybody is the woman in brown over there bought him a dinner when he was hungry the lady in
Gray gave him a suit of old clothes and the lady in red gave him some secondhand advice come in please I really should ask you to take a number as you come in like a butcher shop Mr Baxter yes Mr Logan’s here to see you Henry Logan chairman of the art museum
Board yes sir well please ask him to come in Mr Baxter how do you do sir we met about 6 months ago at one of your sister’s parties remember oh of course I remember a mutual friend called me to say he saw you on the plane this morning
With Mr Katie who seems to be a very good friend of yours well actually no not really we just exchanged a few words please won’t you sit down which is more than I’ve been able to do he has a singular reluctance to talk well you can hardly blame him most people are after
Him for personal gain and so am I or rather as chairman of the art museum board I’m trying to help our city oh in what way according to Katie’s book he has several houses around the country he has one in New England he hasn’t been in
For 20 years yes I know in that home he has pain meetings by Raphael tishan Tinto and a couple by Rembrandt at least so I’ve been told they might as well be an outer space as far as the Public’s concerned now if we could get him to
Donate them to our art museum we dedicate a special room to Mr Katie of course well it sounds like a wonderful idea but I uh I don’t see where I fit in there’s a vacancy on our board and you being such a good friend of Mr Katie here Hour quiet ladies quiet quiet quiet please now now now if we can just clear this area and would you mind backing up please that’s fine just back up now and please be quiet because Mr Katie has a few words to say to you I canly W can you quiet quiet a
Mr Katie quiet please please ever since I wrote my autobiography I’ve been through this in just about every town in the United States to avoid a ride in the hotel lobby I wait until everyone’s here and then I read the statement Qui ladies it’s funny thing to say is it I never
Seen any one of you before my life don’t try and talk to me because I’m not interested in anything you have to say don’t write me letters because I’ll only put them in the waist basket don’t telephone me because I won’t answer it not one of you will get one penny out of
Me I have nothing further to say until I read this to the next shift goodbye didn’t you hear what I said yes I heard what you said and it wasn’t until you said it that I had anything to say when you kindly get out of my bedroom well I’ll admit that some of
Them women is phonies just like you said in after your D but some of them is like my friend Rosie that thinks they did you a favor and I’m not so sure they didn’t out slapping at them like that ain’t very gentlemanly like lodging into my
Bedroom isn’t very llik out well you got to admit that that woman in your book had had a had a had a pretty good claim on you and if she got a lawyer she just might make it sick money huh yes and I have a friend it just so happens a very
Good friend who’s a high power attorney and a big real lawyer and he’s like there’s one in my bedroom she’s a troublemaker a real Troublemaker well I’ll get her out well that won’t be the end of her I know a troublemaker when I see one what’s the name of that lawyer I
Met on the plane uh Mr Logan you simply don’t understand I hardly know the man now I can’t just pick up the phone and snap my finger like that and say Katie I’d like to drop by your hotel to discuss a little matter excuse me Mr Baxter but Mr
Katie’s on the phone he’d like you to stop stop by his hotel to discuss Something well Mr Katie there’s absolutely nothing to worry about worried I’m not worried I just don’t want some crack but starting in lawsuit like I said there never has been such a woman nobody in my life has ever helped me I wouldn’t accept it if they tried
There’s no legal case no lawyer would be fool enough to try it even for publicity that’s that’s what I figured but I wanted to hear a lawyer say it Troublemaker that’s all she is Troublemaker shall I order your dinner sir yeah the usual ham sandwich and potato salad yes
Sir you mean that’s all you eat for dinner I hate Hotel food but I can’t go out to a restaurant because of all those dead blasted women well now I happen to have one of the finest Crooks in the country perhaps you’d care to join me at my home for
Dinner no if I get have my stomach anything beside ham sandwich and potato salad it would think I was trying to poison it you know it’s uh quite possible that Mr Logan chairman of the art museum will be dropping by you might spend a pleasant evening discussing
Art I understand that you’re an art collector no I used to be started collecting paintings but I hadn’t the time for it all my stuff is locked up in a house I have in New England running up tax bills by the million H well as I say this of ours can turn
Out some remarkable things can’t you make fried mush you mean you like fried mush like you like ketchup on ice cream boy I sure through a scare into him you didn’t mention George’s name oh no I just made up some hard boy a lawyer that didn’t like to see women pushed
Around boy when I got through with him his knees was shaking and His Hands was trembling and his lips was W and he threw out of his sweet oh I was going anyway come in Mr Katie for some reason I don’t seem to get enough fried mush
But when you told me how well your cook takes care of your house guest Let Me Take You suitcase as I was saying about those paintings Mr Katie you know I never even tasted fried mus until about 10 years ago down in Texas oh is that
Right well come on I’ll show you the guest room [Applause] I guess I better be going home oh what your hurry I thought you said your folks was eating out tonight yes Rosie why don’t you have dinner here with us you won’t be in the way Mr Baxter and I just
Planned a quiet evening at home yeah hang around I want you to see Mr be face when I tell him what I said to Mr Katie oh boy he’ll get a bang out of it you know he’s got a terrific sense of humorel you know how to fry mush hi I
Didn’t know you were home you back look some things are happening awfully faster around here so let’s skip all the hi Mr bees and Howry Mr backer and get straightened out in the mush no no no wait a minute first things first hey so will you take some clean towels up to
The guest room George you didn’t bring a house guest home without warning us no I didn’t well that is yes I brought him home but I didn’t invite him he sort of invited himself well maybe I did invite him but I couldn’t help it it just naturally grew out of the mush that’s
Why he’s such a terrific lawyer boy can he confuse a jury Hazel will you take the towels up to the guest room oh yes sir it just so happens we got the flat work back from the laundry today well hurry up Hazel Mr Logan will be here any minute who’s Mr Logan well
He’s chairman of the art museum you met him at one of dedis parties why does he have to stay in our guest room George doesn’t he have a home of his own Dorothy I invited Mr Logan here to discuss some paintings and if he gets them I’ll probably end up on the board
Of directors of the Museum oh darling that’s wonderful but why does he have to stay in our guest room not Mr Logan Mr Logan isn’t here yet it’s Mr Katie who was in the guest room William Samson Katie oh you call me today because some crackpot woman was causing him a lot of
Trouble what’s the matter my lips are too dry to talk I think I need glass of water me too me too that’ll be Mr Logan now Hazel Mr Katie would like fried M for dinner I’ve told him you’re the greatest cook in the world so please don’t fail me those
Paintings will be a great benefit to our city come on darling what are you going to do Hazel I don’t know but if my bed wasn’t so low I’d crawl under it come in Mr Logan thank you nice to see you again Mr back yes isn’t it Mr
Katie here yes he’s upstairs he’ll be down a few minutes shall we go to the living room thank you Rosie couldn’t you take these up to Mr Katie oh no Mr Katie saw me today as well as you yeah but I made a deeper impression on it oh come on you you take
Them up to him oh no not me I like you Hazel but I’m no fool about you I certainly have to congratulate you I can’t think of anyone else who could have brought Mr Katie around so quickly [Applause] Well honest Mr Katie this ain’t no trick of Mr Baxter out well listen why don’t you take one of these towels and put some cold water on your face it ain’t good to be purple in the face for so long out would it make you feel any better if I
Was to offer my sincere apologies out the only reason I said what I said to you at the hotel was because you were so Frosty to them women you know and and if they thought that they was the mystery woman in your book that blasted book I lied and I’ve been paying for
That lie ever since no woman ever help me and no man either I don’t owe one Nichols worth of gratitude to anybody oh now you can’t say that I said it didn’t I I’m a Loner see I’m proud of it oh there’s no such thing as a loner in this
World I don’t think we should sponge on one another but someone can’t do without another human being I can certainly do without you out There you see like I was saying you need somebody to help you open the door you put that thing back in oh sure I will but I just want to point out that you’re getting help from somebody I’m not asking for help if I’m telling you what
To do and I’ll pay you for it oh no I wouldn’t take money for helping you out I just want you to admit that that another human being is helping you like the poet says no man is an island unto himself and the human race has lots of
Peninsulas but no Islands I’m not going to stand here listening to poetry Through the Keyhole he’s a little eccentric sounds like he’s doing the twist well maybe that’s how he works up an appetite for fried mush as he’s quite an Individualist okay Mr Katie you win you can pay me for opening the door that way you won’t have to feel grateful you and pay me a dime but I won’t keep it I’ll give it to charity a dad bless it now see what you made me do where are I keys
Well here here maybe I can give your hand get me some scissors well I maybe I could help you prior get me some scissors well there ought to be some here somewhere but you see like I said you do need help like I said no man is
An island unto himself and and and and you can’t even cut off your own necktie unless another human being hand you the scissors you should have had plenty of time to freshen up by now Mr Katie wait Mr Katie Mr Katie wait no don’t go
Mr Mr Katie any old day you’ll get my paintings for your Museum any old day Mr be there’s something that you want to know you know that alleged crack plot that woman that came to the hotel it it wasn’t You your decision to leave tonight instead of tomorrow after no man is an island un to himself I beg your pardon every get your tie coat in the suitcase and have to cut it off no sir not since I’ve been wearing both ties never get caught in a room without a door knob
Well no sir I I always make sure there is a doorknob ever have a woman Inside portrait to you through a keyhole no sir i’ led a very uneventful life well we better hurry sir we only have a few minutes to catch the plane good night missy good night hazel
Good night Mr be good night back to Residence oh it’s you yes it’s me no I don’t want to talk to Mr Baxter you can give him this message you can tell him he can have those dead blasted paintings he can I’ve been trying to find a sucker like Baxter for years for
20 years I’ve been paying insurance and taxes on those dead blasted paintings now he and this dead blasted City can pay all those dead blasted bills wait a minute I want to get him to the phone he hello Mr B Mr B where’s Mr B he’s in the guest room oh
What’s he doing in there trying to get out well somebody please find the other half of this door knob Mr B I got good news for you you’re going get watching hael yeah out Of Mr B you’ll never guess what I did this afternoon if you guess for a million years oh what’ you do I painted The Back Fence with a vacuum cleaner vacuum cleaner yeah oh it’s terrific it’s got a spray attachment I’m going to paint the house next the house that’s
Ridiculous no it ain’t Mr B it’s kind of weather beaten in places Hazel a pickup fence is one thing and a two-story house is quite another you are not going to paint the house but I could no Hazel I don’t want to hear another word about it well I better go get my
Hammer Hammer what do you want with a hammer I got to take down my Scaffolding The R back your resid oh hi Charlie no nope I told you a thousand times I won’t go to the movies with you as long as you’re wearing that bag of garlic around your neck oh go on that’s just Superstition it don’t keep off coals it just keeps off friends charie I ain’t
Got time to argue with you Kevin’s arriving any minute now oh he’s Mr be’s nephew he’s going to be staying with us for a while okay Charlie sure call later bye poor fella gets lonely want anybody talk to him just over the the phone it’s that way every year by the time it’s
Spring he’s glassy eyed and muttering to himself it’s pathetic is he here well I heard a car but I guess it was next door I fixed up the guest room I wanted to put some fresh flowers in there but there ain’t nothing left in the garden
Well I’m sure a boy just out of the army can survive without flowers in his room his wife might like him well uh son uh Helen won’t be with him she won’t why not well you see sport Kevin and Helen ain’t exactly married no more Hazel yes they are still married
Well she wrote him asking for a divorce any wife that do that when her husband is overseas ain’t worth oh the little snip I’d like to turn her over my knee Hazel that’s enough what’s going on well we were just telling Harold about Kevin and Helen she’s going to divorce them
Yes I know somebody should give that that girl a good spanking right all right you two now we don’t know how or why she came to such a decision and it’s unfair to judge her without knowing the facts any girl that tries to divorce her husband when he’s overseas ain’t working
All right Hazel let’s stop talking about it two cents where’s that new box of candy I want to put it out for Kevin oh I’ll get it for you Missy I hit it in one of the top shelves in the kitchen I didn’t want you know who eating it all up oh Harold
Wouldn’t eat all that candy oh I didn’t mean Harold Mr be one of these days that woman is going too far Harold I want to warn you about Kevin don’t mention Helen to him at all we don’t want to make him feel badly yes I agree none of us should say anything
If he wants to talk about it let him bring it up oh there he is where’s his rifle son they have to turn them in that’s a Gip oh is he here he just drove up up front do I look all right oh you look fine hi Kevin welcome home Kevin welcome Kevin
Kevin so good to see oh it’s good to be back welcome Kevin thanks George hi Kevin did you bring a bayette I’m afraid not Harold hey you’ve grown I know it these are new pants hi Kevin hello hazel how’s my favorite letter right oh terrific give me a big hug that’s better
Boy you’re handsome than ever that little SN must be out of her mind Hazel now that you’re back in the old neighborhood you’re going to have the time of your life right Mr be right Hazel you’re going to meet some nice girl and you’ll just forget that little snip ever
Existed should we go on the house we have a lot of catching up to do oh no here I’ll get it can you bring a hang grenade oh hell anything you for your father and mother Kevin no just as they’ll be getting back from Florida next week I
Sure appreciate your putting me up until then oh don’t be silly you’re welcome to stay here as long as sure you couldn’t be more welcome if you was a blood relative Hazel he is a blood relative well I mean to mine I bet you just D to
Call all your old friends well uh not right away I’ll see well let’s go inside sure come on in well Kevin then your friends will probably be calling you I bet you wrote them all you was coming home no uh nobody except you and my
Parents and uh and you well then how do you expect to get back in circulation well I’m really not sure I want to get back in circulation if you don’t mind i’ I’d like to go upstairs and unpack same room same room uh I’ll be done a little While well he’s certainly changed yeah the Sparkles all gone out of him he’s been hurt and he’s withdrawn from people I guess well we’ll get him back in the swim Hazel please don’t interfere oh Mr B you know I got this terrific understanding of psychology Hazel Kevin
Will resent any effort on your part oh excuse me Mr B back the residence oh hi Charlie no I don’t think Mur go out with you either well you got to face it Charlie that bag of garlic around your neck is a social handicap of course you can just call
Anytime and if I ain’t here just talk to Mr be or anybody that is the phone sure Charlie Bye Kevin yes is everything all right you’ve been up here nearly an hour everything’s fine would you like me to help you unpack no thank you Aunt dthy oh well um you’ll come down when you’re ready all right yes well I suppose so yes well if you didn’t wear that bag of
Garlic maybe you that Superstition well maybe your grandmother was wrong look would you like to talk to Hazel she’s right in the kitchen and I could well yes Charlie I can understand you’re wanting to talk to a man once in a while but Charlie my wife has something very
Important she wants me to do yes right away all right goodbye Charlie Gods what has that woman gotten me into forget about that George I’m worried about Kevin his door is closed and when I spoke to him he would hardly answer me really well maybe the kid’s very
Depressed I’ll go up it’s like Charlie said on the phone sometimes a man wants a man to talk to well I don’t think that’s the answer George I think please will you let me handle it could George yes how you doing old buddy fine uh how would you like to sit
Down and have a little bull station not right now well I’ll tell you what uh why don’t you come down when you’re ready all Right that’s probably the best cake I ever baked and when it cools I’m going to frost it we’re going to have tonight for dinner with vanilla ice cream how’d you do George I didn’t get any farther than you did what’s the matter oh it’s Kevin he’s still up in his room are you
Kidding is he sick I don’t think so he just seems to want to stay up there oh I better go check on him oh now Hazel we’ both been up there if he won’t talk to us he certainly won’t talk to you oh but there’s a difference Mr be you see I got
This terrific understanding of psychology oh brother I honestly don’t think it’ll do any good well it won’t do any harm will it no well then I’m going to give it a try that woman is incredible did you ever see such ego oh it’s not ego George she’s concerned about Kevin Dorothy it’s
Ego now she knows that I didn’t get any place with so she wants to go up there and show me up well I’ll have the last laugh because she’ll be down those stairs in exactly 2 seconds Kevin are you decent [Applause] yes H grab me a little sa time huh
Yeah yeah something like that reminds me of the summer you stayed here when you was a kid oh boy the time I had getting you up in the morning yeah yeah I remember you remember how I did it uhhuh oh Hazel now come on now I’m a grown man you wouldn’t no you
Wouldn’t you’re done to well come on now level with me what are you doing sitting up here in your room oh just thinking oh down in the dumps yeah yeah I guess so you shouldn’t be now you’re back in your hometown well big deal oh I see her
Well Kevin you got to start thinking about your future you know you got to start making plans what would you like to do go back to school no no I want to get a job oh what do you want to do I don’t care as long as I make money well
You might as well do something you enjoy most jobs pay a living wage I don’t want to make a living wage I want to make big money and lots of it after all what else is there in this life oh for Pete’s sake there’s lots of things there’s love what
Like my wife’s oh no not like her a little sniff no but does your family and your friends h my friends oh why do you say that all them wonderful kids that Hazel you know when I first went overseas my wonderful friends wrote me regularly 6 months
Later they wrote me sometimes and a year later my wonderful friends stopped writing oh for pet sake why well let’s just put it in its kindest light and say that they were all struck down by a plague of writers cramp oh no Hazel you know while I was
Overseas the only letters that I could really count on were from my parents my relatives and you your letters were wonderful they were the only ones that really let me know what was going on in the old neighborhood oh well I was glad to do it but your friends are hazel I
Don’t want to talk about my friends I don’t want any part of Them but it just doesn’t make sense no it sure don’t kids that have been friends all through their lives don’t turn on a pal when he’s overseas that’s crazy but if they stop right I’m sure it was just a matter of getting caught up in their own lives finding jobs uh
Getting married having babies and things like that oh sure cuz there’s terrific bunch of kids say I got an idea why don’t we get them all together we can have a surprise party on Friday night for Kevin say that’s a great idea it certainly is when Kevin sees how they
Really feel about him he’ll be a changed person there’s just one problem though who were his friends oh for Pete’s sake Missy and me no more we can pH him tonight Bill k k first of all he was Kevin’s closest friend sure and herb talet and Al Scott oh and Jim Parker and
Auggie my it was a wonderful dinner Hazel oh thanks Missy is Kevin still in the dining room no he’s in the living room he’s playing running with Harold and George oh terrific we can make the phone call then I got the list right here who likes ponies the most her but
Hello her this is Hazel Burke over at the boxon well I’m terrific and have I got some good news Kevin Burke’s back in town ain’t that exciting well you well you you could show a little more enthusiasm listen we’re giving them a surprise party Friday night and we want you to be
There well you could go to oh well if you change your mind on we oh okay her bye can’t come that’s what he says but I should think someone could go to the movies any old time well maybe it’s the last day of the Run yeah
Yeah I guess that was it well let’s call Jim Barker oh Jim Barker went to Camp with Kevin hello Jim Hazel barke over with the boxes oh I’m terrific h how are you oh SW say have I got good news guess who’s back in town Kevin
Buret well that ain’t a very nice thing to say goodbye to you what was that all about as soon as I mentioned Kevin’s name he said tell him to go jump in the lake and then he said first tell him to put rocks in his pocket For Heaven’s Sake something
Funny’s going on here Missy first herb is as cold as the sard’s elbow and then Jim says to tell Kevin to jump in the lake now let’s not jump to conclusions Hazel uh call Bill Kincade now he was Kevin’s closest friend I know he’ll want to come no it’s funny
Hello hello Bill Hazel Burke over at the boxes oh I’m terrific how are you well I’m glad to hear it say Friday night would you be free to go to a party oh terrific uh now brace yourself the back are giv a surprise party for Kevin
Burket yeah he’s out of the army and back in town what do you mean well you you just said you was free but why wouldn’t you want to see your oldest friend well he used to be your friend bill I got to straighten this out
Is it okay if I come over and see you okay yeah I’ll be there in about 15 minutes bye what’s going on Missy I think I smell a rat and the rat’s that little sniff that’s trying to divorce Kevin she’s poisoned everybody’s mind against him oh [Applause]
Thanks well I guess you figing on here about Kevin yes did you know his wife is going to divorce him yes we knew we still see her every once in a while well you know you’ve helped us out when we’ve had her over to parties does she ever a
Talk about him oh yes many times well for Pete sake do you just sit there and let that little snip run your friend down she isn’t a little snip Hazel she’s a very fine person Kevin is no longer a friend of mine not after the way he’s behaved why what do you
Mean his letters from overseas oh at first they were all right he was the same old Kevin and then well he started asking about Helen well what other it she’s his wife ain’t she he wanted to know about the other men she was seeing Oh no of course he wasn’t seeing anyone
And I wrote him and I tried to reassure him didn’t do any good he wanted me to spy on her oh for Pete’s sake I can’t believe it well it wasn’t just bill that got the letters all of Kevin’s friends did and they were getting worse and
Worse finally we just stopped riding him it wasn’t any use we couldn’t reason with him and that that’s when he really started on Helen see I I I just can’t believe it Hazel one day I stopped by Helen’s just after she’d received one she was almost hysterical and told me to
Read it it accused her of having a big fling at a dinner party bill and I gave well you remember the one you helped me with the beef stroken off oh Helen was just sick Hazel you see she loved him very much but he wouldn’t believe it no matter how many times she
Told him so her letters he wouldn’t believe it finally she just couldn’t take it anymore well maybe I’ve been unfair I I just took Kevin’s part because well you know he’s he’s one of the family I know and Helen’s from out of town and I never really got to know
Her I know course we had her over to the house once in a while and I used to see her around town oh Jee I feel kind of sick inside well I hate to say but that’s that’s Jin again oh look at him he’s winning every hand well here what always
Says lucking cards unlucky them all h s son oh that’s all right he didn’t mean it hi Hazel Kevin I’d like to have a little talk with you yes Hazel not here in the den oh not now Hazel we’re playing cards right now Asel I said no
And I said yes I don’t care if you fire me now Mar what in the world well at least answer the phone back the resident oh yeah just a minute for you Mr be who is it Charlie well um hazel you look very serious well I feel very serious you know the baxes and me were planning a surprise party
For you but the surprise was on us none of your friends had come well that doesn’t surprise me well I suppose not but I wanted to know the reason so tonight I went over to Bill and Gloria Kates well well they told me they told me why they stopped writing you overseas
You ought to be ashamed of yourself why should I be ashamed for writing them crazy letters to Helen where did you get them silly ideas about her where did I get them how can you ask me that I got them from your letters what every letter you wrote you kept telling me about
Seeing Helen at some party or at the beach or or someplace you always made such a big point about how much fun she was having I was just trying to cheer you up cheer me up when a man is overseas he doesn’t want to hear that
His wife and some fell he’s never heard of just won a dance contest oh well that was a private party I was there helping out and she was dancing the Charleston with Betty Dawn’s father father yeah sure oh wait a second what about the you said you saw her at the bowling center
And she was entered in the mixed doubles well she did with some fellow by the name of Henry sharp and that they won and she kissed him sure she kissed him on the cheek you know Henry I do not Shop’s brother he’s only 12 oh no well what about the picnic at
The beach in the Moonlight swim that was a church picnic there was over a hundred people there I told you that in the letter I don’t remember that it seems you only read what you want to read you you mean I’ve been wrong about everything she’s never done anything out
Of line as far as I know oh Hazel oh this is awful I me you see I I loved her so much and while I was I was so lonely and my imagination would get to working and well I just couldn’t help it I
Guess I guess I loved her too much oh no that ain’t it you just didn’t love her enough if you loved her you would have trusted her well don’t just sit there go get Mr Bee’s car you got a lot of making up to Do and I’ll make it up to you Helen I don’t know I can’t forget those letters you’ll forget I’ll make you forget I’m the one who’ll never forget them orever stop being ashamed of them I love you do you love me I used to I don’t know even a little Kevin
Things can’t be the way they were not all at once I just don’t oh here you are I thought I heard the car drive up Missy Mr B Kevin’s here with Helen oh gee it’s terrific seeing you again Helen come on in uh I just wanted you to see that I at
Least made a start I’m glad we all are I got your bag all packed oh well Hazel you see we haven’t I don’t think we’re ready to one of your shirts has a button off I was going to sew it on but I figured you know how to sew on buttons don’t you
Helen oh yes but I terrific why don’t you two drop around for dinner sometime next week Hazel Hazel too much as happened we can’t just take up where we left off well it’s like Mr be’s always saying to me hazel you got this terrific understanding of psychology so what do
You think a young couple ought to do if they break up so I says it all depends if they’re in love or not if they ain’t it’s all off but if they really love each other deep down in their hearts then they just forgive and try again
That’s what I said to Mr B what do you think let’s go Home thank you all thank thank you all very much thank you goodbye everybody bye good bye that wonderful you really think it’ll work out oh it’ll work out if they work at it remember George we had to yeah back to the residence oh yeah a just a sec it’s for you Mr
Be see I’m so happy I’m all puddled up hello oh hello Charlie no I’m afraid not oh yes I know it’s an outdoor sport but I don’t play tennis anymore well I’m sorry you’re lonely Charlie but oh that’s a Superstition really Charlie well I’ll be darn
Oh well I’ll be talking to you real soon goodbye well now that’s a curious thing what is Mr be well what Charlie just told me he hasn’t had a cold in 25 years Hazel going to bed yet I think so can I get you something darling mm I’ll get you something little surprise
Chocolate why all the secrecy I just don’t want Hazel to know about it that’s why George it’s not like you to be selfish she can have what’s left over when I get through I don’t mind sharing but I just don’t want to be rationed
When I eat candy I want to eat as much candy as I want to eat caramel is my favorite I just don’t want somebody telling me how many pieces of candy I can have I was kind of hungry and I wondered if you folks would care to join me in a
Little midnight snack uh no thanks Hazel oh you could have a cup of tea Mr Bee that wouldn’t be fattening we don’t need a thing Hazel oh well I just thought I’d ask night missy good night Hazel night Mr be sweet dreams thank you Hazel and the same to
You yeah and be sure and give your teeth a good brushing Mr be when you finish that Candy [Applause] [Applause] H okay now there it all depends on whether that’s a nine or a four it’s a four yeah that’s what it is a four I guess I better ride it over H mhm Mr B would you give me some advice on one of my investments why certainly
Hazel what’s your problem well I’ve been investing in some stock in the Davidson vacuum cleaner Corporation good company blue chip that’s the kind of vacuum cleaner and we have huh Hazel yes the best your dad only buys the best always pays in the long run that’s how come I
Started investing in that company I figured if Mr B thinks well enough of this product to buy it then it’s a good company for me to invest in so I’ve been buying one share of their stock every year for 11 years is our vacuum cleaner really that old oh sure they’ll be
Collecting that Year’s model is an antique soon all right Hazel you wanted to talk to me about your stock oh oh yeah well uh I got this letter from a Mr Gerald starky he’s the general manager of of the company and he wants to know
If I’d send in my proxy so they could have it before the annual meeting do you think I ought to Mr be well Hazel I own a few shares but I really don’t feel I know enough about the management of the company to advise you properly I can ask
Around uh come to think of it uh Mr Griffin owns a large block of that stock well this Mr stocky must be a real live wire because he said us stockholders can expect an extra dividend next year due to the potential sales of their new
Model and and look at this ad Mr be oh Rosie says it’s a doozy it it waxes floors and dust and brush your clothes and cleans drapes right on the window it’s the same model that use in Office Buildings Mr be well our old cleaner won’t clean the drapes oh sure it don’t
Cuz it’s got too much suction this new model has got four different kinds of suction and Rosie says it’s light as a feather it’s made of plastic you know the thing they make these nose cones out of oh boy a nose cone and it doesn’t
Need no oiling hold it hold it son we’re not going into orbit and we can at least afford three drops of oil a year oh besides I’m a reasonable man of course you are darling why is it we always have to go through this kind of rigoll before
You get to the point Hazel oh gee if we need a new vacuum cleaner why don’t you just come out and tell me so all right we need a new vacuum cleaner a Davidson all right we’ll get one how much do they cost well counting the allowance that Mr Zimmerman’s going to
Give me for the old model $137.50 $137.50 well that’s ridiculous better go back to the rigoll Hazel why I’ve seen vacuum cleaners advertise for oneir that price not a Davidson oh a Davidson can’t be that much better well I wouldn’t use nothing else it wouldn’t be loyal to my
Company well then you can just get along with the old one I’m not about to pay $1 $37 for a new vacuum cleaner and that’s that boy and the doozy Dary I’m leaving oh Mr B come and see the new vacuum cleaner you bought me and when you
Finish you just pull a plug out of the wall give a tug on the cord there you are isn’t that marvelous Joy you can’t beat a Davidson well I’ll be getting back to the store and if anything goes wrong you just give me a ring Nothing Better go wrong with it
$137 come on Smiley come on boy now sit sit Smiley sit Smiley that’s a good dog can we try it now Hazel before you wait until you see this Dad all right okay you put the plugins for Smiley will you get to this attachment takes the loose hairs off the
Dog before they get on the furniture down Smiley even takes the fleas off the dog that’s up down Smiley sit Smiley it isn’t going to hurt it’ll feel good here we go he smile of course you got to catch the dog first just look at my clothes oh let me
Get them hairs off with a vacuum Mr B ha when you watchel you shut that thing off you know it takes a little while to to get the hang of it stand still Mr be you’re as bad as smiley he so listen there there now look at that ain’t that something oh this
Machine’s a doozy how’s that a tent brush at the dime store was done as well goodbye darling you have a nice day now yes I will oo listen to that just Purge like a kitten maybe the plug pulled out of the wall let let me see here it says push on
Button yeah and then press lever a I did that and then uh select section buttons wonderful I did all that that’s all it needed just a little nudge no Well now what do we do well all we got to do is to just call Mr Zimmerman and hope he gets it fixed before Mr B gets home Is it a loose connection oh that’s hardly likely Hazel I’m sorry I couldn’t get here any earlier Mrs Baxter is it going to take very long I hate Mr be to come in and discover that something was wrong with his brand new Davidson well it seems all right to me now let’s try
It well it it’s working again what did you do to it I’m not a thing you must have kicked the off lever by mistake no I didn’t it was working along fine and then all of a sudden it went and then it just went off you’re sure it ain’t a loose connection no
We’re sorry to have bothered you Mr Zimmerman oh it’s quite all right I don’t think you’ll have any more trouble with it but if you do you just give me a ring I still think it’s a loose connection ladies there’s something wrong with that Machine is it going to very long Mr Zimmerman there he is oh boy I’m in for it now darling how nice to have you home early oh is there something the matter with our $137.50 Davidson vacuum cleaner oh no Mr be there ain’t nothing to worry about it
Ain’t going to cost nothing right Mr Zoom ah did you find the trouble uhhuh just what I thought a loose connection well as long as it’s guaranteed oh well that that’s the beauty of a Davidson Mr be if anything goes wrong they just fix it without no
Argument well it should work fine now well thank you for coming so promptly Mr Zimmerman oh not at all the Davidson company likes to keep its customers happy goodbye by know he’s a lot with this oh thanks Mr be see it’s real nice
Of you not to rub it in what do you mean rub it in well I mean me hounding you to get a Davidson and then going wrong the very first thing well as long as they back up their guarantee Yoo Mr s come Back stay Smiley d boy Hazel come quick bring the vacuum Hazel get that dog out of here h just look at the mud on this carpet I didn’t mean to that’s okay boy I’ll have it cleaned up in a minute I’ll help you come on boy the wheels came Off this is Hazel Burke at the Boxter residence is Mr Zimmerman There there now that ought to do it well we’re certainly grateful to you for coming so promptly Mr Zimmerman oh that’s my job the Davidson company likes to keep its customers happy well goodbye again bye [Applause] Byebye Missy [Applause] Missy Missy is this the general manager’s office well my name is Hazel Burke and I’d like to talk to him what about about a no good vacuum cleaner that’s what about well I already talked to your complaint department what do you mean Mr stalky can’t help
Me oh he’s holding sales meeting huh well what about tomorrow he’s holding them then too well I should think he’d be just as interested in making his machines work as he is in selling them oh boy well do this for me will you miss save me a seat that your stockholders
Meeting yeah I’m a stockholder the name is Hazel Burke Mr Griffin has to fly to the coast for a few days and he wants me to vote his Davidson stock for him oh do you have to go to the stockholders meeting yes there’s some kind of a shake up
Being planned a few of the board members want to put Gerald starky the new general manager in as president but old man Davidson is not going to retire unless he’s forced into it I want to find out what both sides have to say George why don’t you tell Hazel and
Maybe she’ll let you vote her proes to no no I don’t even want to mention the fact I’m going to the meeting no matter how I voted Hazel would think I should have done the opposite but suppose she does the wrong thing believe me her 11 shares won’t make any difference in the
Outcome bye Hazel I’ll see you tonight bye Mr B have a nice day I’ll walk you to the car darling glad to see it’s working all right again oh sure everything’s fine since the last time and to you too thank you very much George Baxter 200 shares and my proxy for Mr Harvey
Griffin 2,000 shares thank you Mr bter thank you very much how do you do I’m Gerald starky the general manager how do you do oh and this is Mr Merryweather who’s running for the Board of Governors how do you sir have you been through the Factory Mr
Baxter we like our family to know everything about our product well uh perhaps after the meeting good I’ll show you around myself thank you hello Anthony hello Mrs M please uh go right inside thank you dear thank you very much Mrs Mt how nice it is to see you
And you look Charming as always oh Charlie please you don’t have to butter me up I’m going to vote for you anyway baby maybe she will and maybe she won’t but don’t worry about it Jerry it’s in the bag it’s never in the bag till the votes in thank You your name please Berke Miss Hazel Berke and how many shares are you voting 11 thank you Mr B oh thank you uh how do you do I I’m Gerald starky and this is Mr Merryweather who’s running for election to the board of directors how do you do we’re awfully
Glad you could come yes uh wouldn’t you like to uh leave the vacuum cleaner outside and have somebody walk off with it oh no thanks oh there’s Mr be YooHoo Mr be hi Mr B imagine seeing you here I didn’t know you was going to be at this
Meeting why didn’t you tell me you were coming we could have driven down together would you mind moving over one please thanks a million and you better move over two Mr be so I can get this thing out of the aisle so it won’t trip people up Hazel there we
Are why in the world would you bring this here oh well Mr be it got busted again and I thought I’d I’d bring it here so maybe somebody at the factory could fix it so it would stay fixed may I oh oh sure Hazel I I’ll get that would you move
Please thank you oh you’re welcome I’m sure certainly is a lot of reading matter would you explain this to me Mr be certainly Hazel oh I’m so glad we ran into each other ain’t you glad Mr be Gentlemen please come to order and what I’m sure most of you are
Interested in in hire dividends thank you Mr Davidson would you like to say a few words ladies and gentlemen the founder of our company and since its Inception our president Mr Ralph Davidson he looks kind of sad don’t he nobody likes to step down thank you very much ladies and gentlemen there isn’t
Much I can say to you you know what this company means to me we’ve always tried to manufacture the best product possible to make the name Davidson synonymous with quality I hope that no matter what decisions are reached here today that that policy will continue two members of
Our board are up for reelection Mr Summers and Mr ail I intend to vote for them and I hope that you will too thank you [Applause] well you all have copies of our financial report and our plans for the coming year if there are no questions we
Will proceed directly to the voting Mr chairman Hazel I got a question oh certainly will you state your name please Burke Miss Hazel Burke and what I want to know is what are we voting for well I thought that was quite simple Miss Burke Mr Summers and Mr ail are
Running for re-election to the board opposing them are Mr Mayweather and Mr drum oh yeah I know all that Mr Baxter explain that to me this is Mr baon Take a Bow Mr baon please sit down he’s kind of bful what is your question well uh the
Way Mr Baxter explained it to me is that if the members of the board uh uh Mr Summers and and Mr ail get reelected then U Mr Davidson will go on as President right I am am sure that each member of the board will vote according
To his decision as to the best interests of the future of the company oh I haven’t any doubt about that but Hazel will you please sit down but just this will only take a second but but if the other two here uh Mr Merryweather and Mr drum get uh elected well then they’ll
Retire Mr Davidson and and put Mr stocky in this President right Mr chairman may we get to the business at hand here here unless your question relates directly to the voting I’m afraid I’ll have to rule you out of order Miss Burke it sure does relate what we’re really voting for is
Who’s going to be president right well uh yes you might put it that way just what is your question I want to know who’s responsible for this lemon of the vacuum cleaner you just wait will this meeting come to order order Miss Berke will you kindly take
Your seat let her talk I ain’t saying they’re all like ours but I know my friend Rosie’s got one that works perfect but I can’t be the only one that got a lemon I know I’d never get another Davidson cleaner and what’s more I’m thinking of selling my stock before the
Word gets around Mr chairman may I please have the floor Mr stocky naturally there are a few defective cleaners that get by our inspection well now this is to be expected especially because of a new model but all any customer has to do is to call the store where he bought his
Machine and a specially trained repair man will be glad to come to and how much does that cost our stockholders I can’t tell you how many times the repair man been to our house and it still don’t work look at this comes right off of
Your hand it see to me it’d be cheaper in the first place to make him right come on this machine is a disgrace to the name of Davidson Mr chairman ladies and gentlemen may we please have ORD let’s get on with the Vault here here Mr
Chairman yes Mrs mut may we please hear what Mr Davidson has to say thank you Mrs mut and I second the motion and I thank you also Mr chairman Mr Davidson as president of the company I take entire responsibility for any errors in management that have been made
And I give full credit to our young general manager Gerald starky for convincing us that it was time the Davidson company came out with a new model however if I continue as president I promise all of you that although I shall continue to rely on Mr starky’s
Talents in sales and advertising I shall resume full control of manufacturing I intend to put the emphasis of the company back where it belongs the making of satisfied customers henceforth our primary concern will be a quality product thoroughly inspected and fully guaranteed thank you now that answers my
Question no hard feelings but I’m voting for Mr April and Mr Summers because I think the Davidson company should be run by a Davidson thank you congratulations congratulations Mr congratulations Mr David Mr backa thank you and me too thank you thank you very very much Miss B and to think I told
Dorothy your 11 vots wouldn’t make any difference another piece Missy no Hazel I couldn’t possibly one for me I’ll see if Harold wants another piece it ain’t as if I’d begrudge it to you Mr be okay I didn’t want another piece anyway what’s the matter with it
Oh Mr Davidson what are you doing here may I come in oh jeez you surprised me so I forgot my man is sure come right in Oh Mr Davidson let me take your hat Dorothy this is Mr Davidson president of the Davidson vacuum cleaner company well
How do you do Mr Davidson won’t you come in and sit down I just stopped by to to deliver this oh did you see what I see it’s got my name on it it’s guaranteed to last a lifetime oh boy oh you get a new one free of charge Mr Davis it’s simply
Beautiful terrific oh it’s a dooy let’s let’s see how it works all right wait till Rosie sees this boy ain’t the motor quiet though you’d hardly know it was Heel where are you Hazel Hazel this is my son Harold Mr Davidson oh how you Harold fine Hazel my electric train stopped working just like it did the last time it did oh Harold’s elected train is always blowing the peuse this wall plug and the woman in the den is on the same
Circuit no wonder the vacuum cleaner work no listen to that it’s just Turing like a kitten imagine me with my own personalized vacuum Cleaner how much are they going to cost well Sorina I make you work shoe the best of cowhide $75 $75 you don’t want them okay no charge for consultation no wait a minute I didn’t say I didn’t want them but that’s a lot of money boy for that much money I
Could get two pairs of Beed dancing shoes down the street yina are you a Dancer by profession oh no no oh I’m a maid on gante That’s Italian I learned that in night school good all right Sorina I make you some work shoes for you huh well maybe work shoes would be
More practical senorina I guarantee you that after 3 days that you wear these shoes here you say why I don’t go there before because I never had the money before that’s why but my nephew that I I sent through law school just paid me back $1,350 H what’s that
Ah this is pler of Paris senorina oh well like I was saying you could have knocked me over with a feather cuz I didn’t keep track of what I sent him but looy bless his heart heina there don’t wiggle please oh boy I feel like one of them movie stars in
Front of that theater in Hollywood Hazel is brought to you [Applause] by Hold Us hurry up B Bye Mom Dad bye H bye honey will you call my office and tell Miss Scott I’ll be late all right I want to drop by the Muller’s bake shop and get their signatures on that option oh haven’t they signed yet well Mrs M’s
Agreed but her husband thinks they ought to hang out of that building for another 10 years and it would be worth a whole lot more of course you know he’s right oh hezel that reminds me um what have you done with the money your nephew sent
You well I bought a few things I needed and then I put the rest in the SS account like you told me to good soon as I have a little more time I want to talk to you about investing for your old age okay Mr B darling as long as you’re
Going by the bakery anyway would you pick up a loaf of that dark R you like so much no he don’t need to do that Mr be I’m going right past there to go to senior Antonio’s you see my new handmade shoes I ordered wait a minute you mean
You ordered shoes from senior Antonio how much oh golly Mr be my arches was killing me hone she won’t have that money a week George it is her money Hazel if you don’t hang on to at least $1,000 of that money to invest I’ll I’ll bu
Me I’ll just deduct $50 a month from your paycheck and invest it for you and if you don’t like it quit Thank you Sarah call again can I help you miss Burke oh i’ like a cream puff and coffee here and I want a half a dozen crescent rolls in a freezer bag to take out oh and a seven L Tor and one of those loaves of dark rye that Mr backx
Is so crazy about no no dark R for Mr bexter why what’s the matter with it nothing for Mr bexter will I sell from this shop here is eat you are my friend eat whatever you like but take out no more Mr bter he should starve to death I
Wouldn’t sell him a crust of bread for 10 millions of dollars be back now don’t worry she didn’t mean it what mean what my hna my wife 47 years out of the door Oh you mean Mrs Mel’s left you I don’t believe it the lawyer you work for that
Low life for weeks ideas he puts into her head to retire to California he says I have a good business why should I sell my place and retire I’m a young man well I don’t think Mr beon mean to start any quarrel don’t you mention his name come
Back Mr mullet don’t worry who is wor what is she going to you doing in California p a movie star huh something’s burning oh Mr Molly you’re chees Let Them Burn Let the whole building burn Up who is going to rub her back in California Jack Lemon Now Mr mly you got to pull yourself together I’m together but you got to decide what you’re going to do she don’t call my bluff mama wants to retire to California letter I sent her money in Beverly Hill CH can live in a pen house but Mr Muller now who’ll take care of
The books how get along she doesn’t need me I don’t need her but you said yourself now you had no head for figures don’t you worry when she finds out I don’t need her she’ll come back by cansas City already she will be sorry but what in the meantime I hire someone
House she SM you about to make some extra money H oh well I’d be glad to help you but my friend but did I tell you don’t worry my friend Hazel will do Mama’s job until she comes back but don’t forget Mr Muller I got a full-time job with don’t mention his name
Well what I meant was I could only give you a couple of hours a week plenty so what did she do I can’t get along without Mama I’m the baker whatever salary you want it’s all right with me oh I don’t want any salary did you hear
That my friend she does not want any P I tell you what I make you a partner a partner I sell you a quarter interest in my place for $8,000 right today I turned down your boss’s offer for $36 ,000 is that fair oh it’s more than fair but I
Don’t have that kind of money how much you have well I got $1,000 okay $1,000 cash and the rest you pay out of the profits huh you want to shake on it oh yeah we just a minute first I want to make sure that you’re absolutely positively certain that you
Won’t change your mind about selling do I look like a man who changes his mind no I stay right here in this bake shop if Mama never come back but Shake on it shake it’s a deal only I just don’t know how I’m going to explain it to you know Who hello Mr Eagan thanks for calling back I got something to tell you what’s the matter I’m afraid I have rather disappointed news though Mr Mueller won’t sell and that’s that Hazel how could you I’ve talked to him and his wife several times yes well we tried I’ve already started getting
Options on that other location we talked about shouldn’t take more than 3 or 4 days Oh by all means you let me know your flight number and I’ll pick you up at the airport that’s right I’ll meet you well the sooner you tell him the better Miss oh I’m telling thank you Mr
Egan Goodbye Mr B I’m glad you and Mr Ean ain’t too disappointed about Mr mull turning you down well Hazel you learn to take things as they come um speaking about Mr Mueller I’d rather not speak about Mr Mueller Hazel do you know that man practically insulted me oh but Mr B
Mr M don’t mean everything he says what do you think there’s a chance of his changing his mind well Hazel oh what did you hear it’s very important to tell me I mean if there’s half a chance of putting that deal over I won’t go ahead with this
Other proposition oh no I didn’t mean that Mr be no no I’m absolutely positively certain he won’t sell oh otherwise I wouldn’t have bought a quarter interest in his Bakery who wouldn’t have what George she only had to pay a th down and he’s going to let her make up the rest
Out of the profits but Suppose there aren’t any profits you know any business is a risk she should have put her money in annuities where she’d make money oh it’ll be all right darling I’m sure it will Mr Mueller is a is a wonderful Baker well now how is she going to do
Her work here and helping a bakery oh but Mr B you know I wouldn’t let the bakery interfere with my job I never do a thing like that have you signed a contract well I shook hands and and I wouldn’t want to go back on a handshake well hey there’s nothing more
I can do and say I wish you luck and I hope you make a barrel of money oh well that’s very sweet of you Mr Bee but if anything goes wrong don’t bring your troubles to me oh what could possibly go [Applause] Wrong [Applause] Mola you not your shoes are ready I’ll come back for Them Mr Muller why are we closed what happened where’s Sally Lou I found to come in this morning my bread doesn’t rise my Pike rust you couldn’t cut it with an a have fever maybe no it’s some chills huh no it feels normal to me normal she calls me y I think I
Better call the doctor ah he came in last night what does he know nerve medicine he gives me I haven’t got a nerve in the body you know what I think I think you ought to call Mrs Mueller and ask her to come back never Over My Dead Body I call
Her well then you want to give me your number and I’ll call her she’d come back in a Flash if she knew how you need it how lot does she care if I’m dead or alive 3 days already and not even a postal card who needs her you
Do huh and me too I got my good money invested in this Bakery and and we ain’t got nothing to sell and you not able to bake I’m better already a good friend to tell my troubles to you that’s all I needed 47 years I had someone to talk to
But I was working and now out of the door well uh I tell you what I suppose I I was to come in for a little while every night and and keep your company while you’re baking would you do that Hazel promise 2:00 shop well if you
Promise to take your medicine I don’t need it but if for your sake If It Makes You Happy I’ll do it I’m a reasonable man all right I’ll be here tonight till the CL oh Asel you’re a good friend we show Mama who needs her yeah Tomorrow we’ll open up as [Applause] Usual oh yeah my new shoes sit down Sorina sit down fore Spee Look like a gloves are they fit like gloves they look baseball gloves Huh how they feel huh oh they feel great they really do come on you walk now walk well I sure can’t wear these for dress up but it doesn’t look as if I’m going to have much time for dancing things always work out for the best I always say well now let’s See George Hello darling what’s the matter sh nothing nothing but Hazel got her new shoes today and George if you laugh I’ll never speak to you again I me well laugh why should I laugh promise me Okay Mr B hello hazel uh any phone calls notice anything my new shoes oh yes you look very um comfortable what’s the matter Mr be you lost your sense of Humor A letter again from my daughter but not the PS even from Mama what would he have cost her to put the PS on the bottom not even a stamp oh but she’s bluffy she’ll come back Mr Muller them pies ain’t got no Crust oh good morning hazel good morning thanks for getting my paper for me you’re up kind of early this morning aren’t you oh yes kind of well as long as you are how about a cup of coffee I could use some myself and if it isn’t too much trouble I could eat a
Couple of scrambled eggs oh no no trouble oh it’s a glorious part of the day isn’t it Hazel you know I think I’m going to start getting up early every [Applause] morning 4 days already and not even a postal card retire she says let’s enjoy what we have she says
We are not as young as we used to be she says who me I won’t be home till late tonight Hazel so better plan dinner for 7:30 okay let’s have um stuff pork chops okay um and it’s just possible George may bring Mr Egan home with him in case they close that deal this afternoon Hazel I’m worried about you are you on that diet again no
Do I look skinny well it’s all right to cut down Hazel but you shouldn’t even try to lose more than 2 lbs a week you eat some breakfast and take a nap this afternoon I was planning on That Oh it can’t be no already can’t have slept that Long back your residence oh hi Mr be no she just left oh it must be a bad connection I can hear you all right oh what yeah meet Mr aan at the airport yeah okay what time 3:00 all right Mr B I will yeah okay Bye This station will go off the air for 4 minutes during the testing of our alert [Applause] System Heel on home I’m going over to to the park with the Guys Hazel Hazel it’s me Mr Muller take your Medicine [Applause] [Applause] 5:30 oh Mr be will kill Me oh Hazel where’s Mr Eden hi uh wasn’t he on the plane Hazel why didn’t you call and tell me something happened do you realize I kept seven people waiting for him to show up oh Hazel I’m very angry with you you know how hard I’ve worked on this
Deal why after disappointing these people some of them may change their mind about selling why don’t you answer me where is Mr rean what happened oh uh I I’ll get it oh uh here this must be for you somebody shoved it under the back door
Oh boy it’s going to take a miracle to get me out of this one oh Mr Egan I thought somebody was going to meet me well I uh I uh I waited and waited and waited at that airport for 3/4 of an hour I uh I I finally took
A cab and when I got to the meeting You’ all left I now let me tell you Baxter if you’ve let this deal fall through on us I’m getting myself another boy hi Miss Egan hello I’m sorry I got everything sned up not meeting you at the airport
But it’s lucky I didn’t right Mr B lucky sure you wouldn’t want to sign with them other people when you got the Mulla bake shop here’s that power of attorney you’ve been waiting for Mr be why this is wonderful news George I’m sorry if I seem to trifle upset you better look it
Over see it’s okay you ever convince Mueller that he ought to sell well when Mr Mueller decided his wife wasn’t going to change her mind he finally realized that he had to change his so he packed up and went off to California right Mr B yes I I guess that’s about what
Happened well anyway here’s the power of attorney permitting me to transfer the property over to you at the terms we agreed upon yeah I’m probably signed by both Partners you see Den’s going to be a little late Mr Egan why don’t you and Mr be go into the living room and I’ll
Whip you up some of them little cheese puffs you like hazel are those Contour shoes that you’re wearing yeah they ain’t much on looks but boy are they comfortable so I heard I’d like to try a pair well I’ll take you down to Senor Antonio’s tomorrow he’s a real artist oh that’s
Very kind of you Haz oh no trouble I was going there anyway I’m going to order me a pair and white kid to go with my summer uniforms I’d sure appreciate it oh well they’re pretty expensive but they’re worth every penny of it I feel I
Can afford them now since I made that terrific investment last week 100% on my Money oh boy he really had us in stitches oh yeah and then he told the one about the little man from The Flying Saucer who walked up to the fire Hy stop me if you heard this yeah I heard it at the supermarket told me and said what’s
A pretty girl like you doing in a place like this yeah that’s a doozy all right I’m telling you that Charlie’s really a card oh yeah then he told the one about the drunk who walked into the laat that’s notop me if you heard this yeah I heard
It Hazel told me and said you call these TV sets they’ve all got flop over yeah that’s a good one oh yeah then the one about the magazine salesman who rang the lady’s doorbell that’s not me if You’ heard this I heard it and when she opened the door
Mr be yes as how do we stop You [Applause] hi Hazel need anything this morning oh hi Bob yes love a whole wheek bread Mr B likes it toast it for breakfast what are you reading oh I ain’t reading this is a dictionary I’m picking out my word for the day what do you mean well every day I pick out a
Word I don’t know use the word 10 times and it’s yours you know yeah so I’ve heard yeah I’ve been doing it for years that’s how I got this terrific vocabulary well I know you always believed in self-improvement oh sure like for instance yesterday my worried
For the day was spirituality I must have used it five or six times during the conversation at breakfast like I said when Mr B come in I said good morning Mr be ain’t this a gorgeous day to bring out your spirituality what did he say well he just kind of mothered and he
Started reading his paper Mr B ain’t is most outstanding at breakfast but Harold oh he loved it oh he’s a doozy I tell you thator ready for Hazel All right I’ll bring the fruit juice right in Bob why don’t you sit down and rest your hands in face have a cup of coffee
Orange juice is coming up yes and the inevitable word for the day a gorgeous day like this bring up my spirituality all right son going to Sunday school brings out my spirituality too all right son you see she’s got Herald doing it well there’s nothing wrong with that it
Improves his vocabulary you just don’t understand she aims those words at me George how can she aim a word she usually picks some obscure word and then tries it out on me to see if I know what it is you watch the minute she comes through that
Door morning boy good morning Hazel you sleep well last night she’s fine did you oh like a top how about you miss oh fine morning Mr be morning Hazel you sleep perfectly thank you the fruit juice all right just fine them oranges was practically globos I said globos what does it mean
Hazel globos g l o b o s e adjective meaning round did you know that yes I knew it Hazel I’ll have scramble eggs and toast thank you oh fine we got fresh whole wheat bread good now you take an egg that ain’t globos I know it’s ooid what ooid
O v o i d adjective meaning egg shaped well for P say uh I got some hot cereal for SP you’re usual Missy please you told her one she didn’t know didn’t you Dad yes and that was my first mistake of the day why because now she
Look up another word and try to top me oh George oh void ohid ooid here it is ooid adjective meaning egg shape boy I got to hand it to him that’s a terrific word when would you use it well when you’re describing things as said shaped like what like Mr
Be figure if I don’t watch his diet why don’t you just say egg shaped because short words is neater than long ones I got to concentrate I want to find a word that’ll knock Mr B right out of his chair what the point of that well two reasons first it’s educational you know
I ain’t had any real education so I got to pick it up whenever I can and second well Mr be enjoys it you know he’s got this terrific competitive Instinct he’s always got to top me and then I got to top him you know it’s the kind of a game
We play oh he gets a big kick out of it and I want to nip it right in the MD so no matter what word she comes up with don’t you ask her what it means then how will I ever know I’ll tell you after she leaves the room George isn’t that being
A little ridiculous not at all I don’t want to get into a contest with her you know how competitive she is she never stops darling you’re pretty competitive yourself if you wouldn’t I’m a competitor where sports are concerned sure we played football with me today
Well son I can’t today you heard me tell Hazel Mr Griffin will be here oh I wish he wouldn’t bother you on weekends it doesn’t seem fair other lawyers don’t have other lawyers don’t represent Mr Griffin he’s decided to set up a foundation for a house no son an organization for the
Financing of worthy projects He intends putting a million dollars in it oh I’m impressed Griffin is quite a man in business he’s tough and he’s tough any place I’m almost afraid to speak to him if he’ll snap my head off you’re not alone he has quite a temper when he
Calls a board meeting vice president quaking their boots but he’s honest and he’s fair and he’s doing something constructive with his money for that I admire him what’s the purpose of the foundation I don’t know the details yet but it has something to do with education the foundation will need an administrator
And I’m am hoping Mr Griffin will pick me oh darling you work too hard now oh yes but this is something different you know my interest in education it’ll be a labor of love but no money uh maybe a little money certainly a lot of prestige well if that’s what you want darling
Then I want it too herey you are Missy just the way you like it thank you Hazel your eggs will be up in a minute Mr be thank you see your Void hen fruit you might call it yes oh Missy you know that old brownfeld
Hat of mine you know the one with the veil I was thinking maybe I Jazz it up a bit by putting a panach on the side I said panes I thought maybe I’d Jazz it up a bit but Hazel I think a Panache would
Look very nice on it I’ll go see if your eggs are ready what’s it the pach Dad I’ll be right back son where is he going in the conference I think with a Mr Webster boy he’s smart all right you could have knocked me over with a
Feather when he knew what pan meant even little Harold knew oh I got to do a lot of studying just to keep up with this family well good luck Hazel I have to finish my out thanks for the coffee okay Bob a plume or a bunch of feathers oh
Now way did you hear the one I pull on her this will stop her right in her track now I know I haven’t heard it and if I haven’t she certain it’s your eggs Mr be thank you Hazel oh Hazel yes sir I was just wondering if you were bothered by the
Ulation last night no ulation yes son perhaps Hazel would be kind enough to Define for us ululation yes Hazel ululation u l u l a t i o n noun meaning how on a dog or a wolf no as a matter of fact I didn’t hear a thing neither did I
I notice you raided the refrigerator before you went to bed last night maybe you just dreamed of a howl and door you had a little cardialgia what is cardi do Dad I’ll be right back son you means hotb bur you know Dorothy she can be a very irritating woman at [Applause] Times oh hi Mr Griffin come on in good morning Hazel my don’t you look nice that a new suit yes as a matter of fact it is you like it oh it’s terrific and being double breasted and makes you look 20 lbs lighter oh well thank you Hazel
Cuz it ain’t exactly as if you took off a pound just kind of camouflaged it you’ve been putting on any weight lately certainly not I’ll bet you have I’ll bet that’s why you switched to double breasted suits it is not double breasted suits are coming back in style all right
You just come up on the bathroom scale I’ll do nothing of the kind it’s for your own good Mr Griffin good morning Mr Griffin I thought that might be you at the door back come on into the den and we’ll go to work Mr Griffin don’t you
Think you ought to go up and weigh yourself I am not going to weigh myself Hazel For Heaven’s Sake it’ll just take a minute the last time I weighed me weighed 200 Hazel yes sir Mr Griffin and I have something very important to discuss and we don’t have time to argue
With you what’s so important he don’t have time to weigh himself a foundation oh for peace sake a great a lengthy answer not that kind of a foundation a charitable institution well why didn’t you say so come on to the den Mr Griffin all right will you please get us some coffee yes
Sir can’t hide it from the back he’s putting on at least 10B oh uh please sit down here Mr Griffin oh thank you I have to apologize for hazel she tries to run everything and everybody oh don’t apologize back Hazel’s all right she drives me crazy sometimes oh she reminds me of my mother oh Hazel’s a fine person it’s just that
You bet she’s a fine person she cares about people she worried about my weight you didn’t say anything well frankly Mr Griffin I didn’t notice Hazel noticed I gained about 10bs and she noticed immediately weight is Hazel’s specialty that’s the way it was with Mom when I
Was a kid mom used to worry about my weight all the time you were overweight as a child back sir overweight is no problem of the poor oh you were poor we were poor sometimes poor till our ribs showed my father became an invalid when
I was four years old I’ve worked since I was nine I didn’t even finish grade school you didn’t that surprises you well yes yes it does that a man without a grade school education could end up the head of a huge corporation it’s amazing you should be very proud Mr
Griffin well thank you backer call me Harvey all right Harvey of course I’ve worked hard and I’ve done a great deal of reading you’re a self-made man of the old tradition Harvey call me Harve George all right Harve that’s why I want to set up this Foundation I want to make
It a little easier for qualified youngsters you coffee it ain’t instant I just made it with Solarity Solarity c l e r i t y noun rapidity of motion good for you you don’t happen to have any of those brownies today Hazel yeah but they’re just Chuck full of calories Hazel will
You bring some brownies he must have put on 10 and 20 lounds no I haven’t Hazel I don’t think he should have any Hazel if he says he hasn’t gained any weight he hasn’t now will you please bring the brownies yes sir I’m sorry har but that woman stop
Criticizing her backer she’s concerned with my health all right now where was I oh uh I want to make it a little easier for qualified young people to get an education though those who otherwise would have to drop out of school well that’s a wonderful objective Now
Understand me these are not to be Scholarships in the ordinary sense of the word in selecting a student need must be the deciding factor some students can’t accept scholarships because they have to work to support sick or elderly relatives so my plan would in effect subsidize entire
Families har I’m honored to have a part in setting it up your involvement may be bigger than that the fund will need an administrator it would take several days of your time each month and the pay is only 2500 a year you interested interested why I jump at the chance well
Let’s get to work on the details here’s the scales come on hop on hael I will not no way no brownies do you realize who I am I sure do and I also know you have this tendency toward chubbiness she’s exactly like my mother come on hop
On well according to this you took off a pound there you see now bring me some brownies well I’ll think about it you want to weigh yourself Mr be I do not oh you’d rather just leave your weight nous huh yes nubis n u b i l o u s adjective meaning
Vague or obscure right harf stop calling me hav now let’s get to work all right Mr Griffin I just pulled a fast one on her she didn’t see my real weight I was leaning on your desk The way I figured that’s all the students you can support without dipping into the original endowment then we’ll dip into it and I’ll put in more Capital later well all right Mr Griffin it’s your money yes here’s your brownie well this isn’t a whole brownie
That isn’t even a half a brownie he was leaning on your desk you want me to take it back no where’s mine you don’t get any what do you mean I don’t get any any man that won’t even weigh himself Hazel I want a brownie oh Mr B you’re just being
Obdurate obdurate oh be d u r a t e adjective stubborn right right I’m no fool bter well of course not Mr Griffin hello yeah yes oh just a minute it’s for you thank you while you’re talking I’m going out and see about those brownies okay hello oh uh hello osbor did that shipment get off okay good oh we’re getting along all right I suppose you know bter a college man as
Soon as he found out I hadn’t finished grade school he started defining words to me if he does it one more time I’m getting a new lawyer yeah and I think I’ve really impressed him because he offered me the job oh darling that’s wonderful and
Where you hear the rest it pays $2500 a year George oh we can get new carpeting for The Upstairs Hall oh we can get a lot of extra things for that $2,500 and we can get new patio furniture and if I play my cards right I may get a new pair of socks
George boy this going to knock him for a loop what one two five syllables boy I just hope I can work it into the conversation Hazel I want to talk to you no yeah Mr B listen you take someone that don’t go to church Hazel will you listen to me yes sir now
Is there some doubt in your mind as to who’s boss around here no sir good now when I say I want wait a minute who do you think is boss you are good now when I say I want brownies I want brownies and I don’t want an argument do you
Understand yes sir and when a guest want a brownie I don’t want you cutting them in half understand yes sir and I don’t want you ever again to bring those bathroom scales downstairs no sir or try to send the guest upstairs to weigh himself no sir all right now I want you
To put a half a dozen brownies on the plate and bring them into the den is that CLA must to be them brownies is just loaded with calories Hazel that is an order I’ll bring them in fine now I don’t mean to to be severe with you Hazel but I don’t think there
Can be the slightest doubt of the probity of my position probity Proby p r o b i t y for Pete’s sake what does that mean I don’t mind him tossing me a fast one but at least he could wait around till I get a chance to toss one
Back and I told her to bring them right in how many six good good now how long do you think it will take to get this thing rolling and some youngsters actually going to school oh the paperwork should takes several weeks and then we weeks well certainly you’re
Not asking for a lease to be drawn you’re asking for a complete new organization containing all the Mechanics for selecting the students not only must your endowment be protected to see that the maximum benefits reach them but I must satisfy all governmental requirements there’s your brownies oh
Wonderful H oh wonderful yeah well a double breasted suit can hide just so much I wonder when they’re going to invent a triple breasted all right Hazel that’s enough you get the message Mr B I get the message speaking about people that don’t go to church wait a minute who said
Anything about people who don’t go to church I did in that case would you call them neopians nidian and u l l i f i d i a n noun a person of no faith or religion I ought to you right on the nose Harve what’s the matter and stop calling me
Harve you snob and you’re no longer my attorney in this case or anything else the P what’s the matter with him that’s what I want to find out Mr Griffin what is it I may have only a grade school education but my vocabulary is as good as yours well I’m sure it is
Then what’s the idea of trying to humiliate Me by defining words Mr Griffin I wasn’t trying to humiliate you you see Hazel and I have don’t try to weasel out of it you you boob boob boob boob n it means I know what it means George I just thought of something
Else we can buy we can’t buy anything not even the carpeting you don’t get the $2,500 no he just fired me as his attorney oh no you mean all on account of I come in and said them couple of words that’s EX exactly what I mean oh
For Pete’s sness to be one you go after him I will not I won’t crawl for any man oh this makes me feel terrible you want a Brownie hi son hi Dad how’d the football go well I scored 12 touchdowns well your side must have won we sure did the captain of the other team got mad and hit me over the head with her doll well you need a referee I’ll say
The dog busted and I got sawdust in my eyes well son I find I finished my business with Mr Griffin after all so I’ll come out and referee for you swell when’s lunch I’m starved George Hazel isn’t out there she left this note note
Listen it says I’ll be back in a gif I’m going over to Mr Griffins about Mr be’s job I wish Hazel would mind her own business I told her I wouldn’t crawl what’s Griffin going to think when a woman comes begging him to take me back
Boy you make me so mad I can’t even think straight a nice man like Mr be so rude like that you got terrible manners when I think of all the meals you’ve had at our house and then turning on them like that and now if you can’t treat Mr
Bee like an ordinary man he ain’t ordinary like you or me he’s smart now wait a minute well he is ain’t he otherwise why would you have him as your lawyer well yes but you didn’t even go through grade school I’m the head of a corporation yes well if you’d studied at
Night you could have got your diploma but you just didn’t have enough ambition and he went all the way through college I’ll have you know I’m proud of what I’ve accomplished without an education well you got a right to be proud but you’re kind of a snob about it going around insulting
People well maybe I was a little rude tell back he can have his job back nope I ain’t going to do it why what do you mean well because what he went through this morning ain’t worth the aggravation working for you no life is too short for
A thing like that besides you’ll have more time to spend with his family oh that carpeting isn’t so bad I’ll have it cleaned we can paint the patio furniture come on come on Mr Griffin go on hello B go on I came to apologize backer go
On if if you’ll be my attorney again I promise uh never to bother you on weekends except in emergencies go on and I I’d like you to be the administrator of the foundation at 2500 a year that’s real nice Javi ain’t that nice Mr be very nice indeed I’m
Delighted thank you sure take a big man to do a thing like that yes it did but I knew Mr Griffin Harvey I knew Harvey was a big man a long time ago that’s why I’ll be proud to be the administrator of the foundation he’s setting up and
George will be in charge of everything oh yes of course he’ll be under the supervision of a board of directors oh naturally yes and the first meeting is a week from Thursday well I better get lunch started everybody must be starving wait a minute what does she know about
The first meeting oh I named her to the board she reminds me of my Mother
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