Have you ever stolen anything no not Really pens I have so many pens but just Pens what’s the worst thing you’ve ever Done that’s private are you religious no my family is but we’re not Close this appeals to me because I know it’s not the best thing in the world being alone not that you are alone but you are doing this alone are you writing that down I I didn’t mean like you are are alone I meant like um I don’t think being alone
Is a bad thing I meant if family is important to someone they should be able to make one plus the money not in a bad way um and you know putting a little good karma in the bank never hurt anyone don’t write down the word Karma I’m sorry I used it I regret
It it says here that you have a child how old are they seven eight eight I guess you don’t know how old your own child is he was adopted like right after I had him and it was a close adoption uh I was in high school
H yeah I’m sorry I just I thought all the applicants had to either be raising children or have raised them I think technically the requirement is that you had to have had a kid which I have right right I won’t be offended if that is a deal breaker for you but I
Do know what it’s like to carry a baby and then give one up and this wouldn’t be mine this time like this wouldn’t even be my baby so if anything it would be easier I uh I have some questions for you if that’s okay I actually wrote them
Down what’s the worst thing you’ve ever done hey oh is anyone clothed everyone’s clothed sorry I’m unclothed uh come on in okay hey hi sorry wow it took me so long I ran the whole way here okay hi Matt uh everything’s going very well her HCG level is strong normal
Doubling pesterin right on schedule so all in all it’s all very good news on paper this is a very viable pregnancy they times a charm well we can’t be sure yet so we’ll just uh do our best and wait sure but I mean so far so good so far so good
Congratulations that’s uh that’s the first congratulations I’ve gotten so thank you thank you for that yay okay well call me if you need anything Anna and um I’ll see you both in a few weeks thank you bye you did it yeah we did it it’s great job in there are you coming
Yes yeah yeah um are you how like how are you feeling um I feel regular normal okay good that’s good normal is good that’s that’s what you want uh how are how are you feeling also good and normal and uh amazed that’s good yeah I I mean this is
Happening so far yeah yeah but um by way I got you this um thank you um is is this for the baby yeah then maybe you should keep it right yes of course yeah can we just maybe get dinner like a just a little celebration yeah okay thank you um cool
I have to run right now I’m going to be late so I’ll call you okay perfect yeah bye Bye well this is great this is greatb there you go so so yeah crazy nervous but also insanely excited do it again just feels like the right time um if you’re happy we’re happy let’s how about a toast huh um to uh to life yes to Life Family baby you guys
Are about to have a baby cousin baby baby yeah baby baby uh it’s not your baby um it’s my baby um what did Mom and Dad say uh mom dad have some very exciting news where did you get that did you find it I’m pregnant I mean the surate is pregant
Did you drive with an open container in your car you’re not supposed to do that I believe he’s trying to tell us that he’s going to be a father well that’s not a very fatherly thing to do driving with an open container it’s tough to
Raise a kid it takes two people to make a baby because it takes two people to ra I kind think we’re past the point of debate on this you know let’s let’s try and embrace the future thank you it’s actually happening that’s great my boy it is great
Mom what’s the deal on this surrogate I forget is she single so you design apps correct yeah is that fun sorry just I am a little nervous about being a dad no uh yes that but I’ve thought a lot more about being a dad than I’ve thought about um making
Conversation with the person carrying my baby right well I’m nervous too so wait you’re not going to change your mind are you oh no I meant I’m nervous about um making conversation yeah good okay good cuz I don’t think you can change your mind at this point in anyway
Legally I mean not not that the laws rule your body it’s your body you can do whatever you want but you don’t even need me to say that I don’t you don’t need my permission to do it’s women’s rights all of it I am Pro everything
Unless you’re pro life and and and Pro choic offends you in which case does pro-choice offend you why would pro-choice offend well cuz you you had a baby so young and then you gave it up so you obviously didn’t want to have a child but you still actually followed through with
With you know having I don’t think giving up a baby for adoption makes some wom for Life neither do I so to Anna so far so good H and to Matt and uh wait say is it again donor 45883 to Matt sperm and donor 4588 I’m giving the toast okay to my SPM
To the donor’s egg and and to Anna’s uterus cheers cheers hi have you decided uh yeah um could I get the pre- range chicken pesto thing and would you like fried potato or Salad uh Potato a salad m and potatoes please and for you carbonara well I’m a lot less nervous uh after the you know what I’m sorry I just was worried when you ordered the potatoes because what you eat it eats they eat you ordered pasta or bacon yeah but I’m
The only one eating it but I only matter for like the next like 9 months or so and you matter for the next 18 plus years you’re like 40 something so yeah if I were you I would not be eating pasta with bacon that’s a really good point
Actually so why didn’t you make a weird sound when I ordered it because I am not annoying and I’m pro-choice I see here that the placenta has formed and that’s great how do you feel about that it’s exciting um we’re almost in the clear and you know to
Start telling people and I’m dying to tell people I’ve already told a couple of people but like I want to tell everybody and what about you Anna I’m not going to tell anybody I meant how are you feeling oh uh good I’m tired not zombie tired yet but I feel healthy
Good I’m sorry you’re not going to tell anyone no uh well I I probably should should tell my boss at some point and that’s important because you’ll have to arrange for maternity leave really but I’m not maternal maternity leave isn’t just for the baby it’s also for the woman oh okay
So you’re not going to tell anyone no why not CU it’s temporary and private well you’re going to start showing it’ll be obvious that you’re pregnant right I know I’m not I didn’t say I was trying to hide it I just don’t have anyone that
I really need to share the news with not your parents or no does that bother you Matt I guess I just thought that U she would tell more people and how do you feel knowing that she’s not I don’t know um I mean it’s her choice obviously and I’m very pro-
Choices so is she for the record right I’m I I just am I supposed to act like I’m like not here when you guys talk about me like that or I’ve just never done this before it’s whatever you’re comfortable with I’m sorry am I supposed to wait until she decides what she’s comfortable
With before I keep talking about her that’s up to you okay well uh um do you want to bite no thank you okay I went to couple’s therapy once before with my ex right no just regular reg X afterwards we’d come outside and hold hands and eat candy that sounds nice it
Was nice and then we go home and continue not sleeping Together I I don’t want to be a b but that’s your third croissant today and and I’m not being judgmental but they’re really bad for you so you’re judging no I’ve just said I’m not judging that doesn’t mean anything I’m dating two people named Sam how could I
Be judgmental I’m hungry and I want to eat salty bread okay but did you read that thing about how Costco puts chemicals in those things that study carbonate they put that in yoga mats in fake leather it’s really bad for you but it’s in yoga mats and fake leather are these from
Costco I mean I don’t know but Nestle owns Maybelline and that’s not even a food like Nestle is like everywhere I feel like we should just pack up and go home what hi hey what are you doing here well I was in the neighborhood and so I
Brought you some tea That’s nice we have a ton of tea here it’s a coffee shop you don’t have this this is a special pregnancy tea can you not use have bir around here I’m sorry yes of course I just saw on the vog that it’s been kind of a tough week thank
You and I also brought you these clogs yeah I mean if you’re going to be on your feet all day and you’re you’re going to want better art support I’m I’m barely so uh I don’t think I need special shoes you know nurses wear these right I know did you know that artists
Wear these like a lot of collage artists ceramists they’re cool like people think these are cool now I think this is so sweet I’m just just going to stick to my normal shoes fair enough I’ll just hold on to him until you need them which I
Won’t so many blogs say that you will so I’ll hold on to them it’s all good ew who’s clogs no one’s they’re no one’s clogs I’m mad um aopo of nothing uh you sure I can’t return clogs here okay well do you have a receipt no we can’t process the
Return on a pair of shoes I feel I mean if you have a receipt I feel like it’s fair it’s like Starbucks you go there with a receipt and they and they’ll they’ll return anything from anywhere thank you stranger for helping me in this coffee shop um by
Bye a girl in my biochim wears clogs and I’ve never seen her smile ever in my Life Hey sorry hi uh what what are you I thought that we were uh meeting at the doctor we are uh I just thought I would bring you these here in case you didn’t take them at work because you didn’t want to reveal that you’re pregnant and
Then I didn’t want to bring him to the doctor because then you’d have to carry him around all day so but I I really don’t want them hey sorry that your bathroom door sticks I know uh Hey man hey man I’m Matt Rice so did you guys just do it or Matt
Oh who is this guy you can’t do that it says who are you like her uncle or something no I’m not her uncle I’m the father oh my God you’re her father no I’m not her dad we work together well whatever good luck with that yeah let me
Know let me know about there’s it no what’s on Thursday what are you doing what what are you doing nothing I didn’t know you had a boyfriend I feel like that should have come up in the interview I don’t have a boyfriend well then who’s that you just hooked up with that
Guy so are there multiple prices are you mad about the clogs I’m not mad about the clogs I just I’m mad because there was a random penis really close to my unborn baby you do know that the baby is not like in my vagina yeah the baby comes out of the
Vagina stop saying vagina I wasn’t able to have sex at all surrounding implantation and soon I’m going to be visibly pregnant and that will hinder my opportunity to do that so you cannot tell me not to have sex for a year okay the mared surrogates they have sex with their husbands
Right sorry about that now we’re ready mhm scoot down please Scoot a little more and if you could scoot some more please scoot down just a bit scoot perfect oh what is what’s H what’s that this is an internal ultrasound I am I’ll um I’m just going to turn
Around ready you’re going to feel a little pressure okay press on your right ovy for me by the way uh I’m pretty sure people actually have sex to induce lab other side yeah I think they do that at the very end of the pregnancy not 2 months
In well what what do you think by the way I’m just a technician I’m not allowed to say anything about anything off the Record off the record it is more than fine to have sex when you’re pregnant okay but I mean she’s just a technician what does she know I
Know everything I’m just not allowed to say it see a lot of dads go through this they start to see their wives as precious and sacred and fragile as soon as they get pregnant but they are the same woman you can have sex oh not not
With him by the way wants to have sex which is very understandable but like my baby is in there absorbing ejaculate I use protection yeah but there’s thrusting grunting there’s God knows what else with God knows who else I date and I would like to do that while I can before
My vagina is in full recovery you guys want to hear the heartbeat or should we wait for this dispute to settle there’s a heartbeat it’s it’s alive it’s alive so you heard the heartbeat that’s a really exciting moment especially for firsttime parent very exciting I mean I
Just I want to hear that sound all the time I mean is there an app for that there should be an app for that and Anna what about what about you how was that experience for you it was great it was it was fun um it’s nice to see Matt so
Happy well you are happy too yeah totally that’s why he said said it was nice to see you so happy thank you and have there been any conflicts that have come up aside from the clogs oh here’s something furthermore the surrogate agrees not to engage in strenuous or high-risk activity
Including but not limited to skydiving contact Sports s horseback riding skiing scuba diving weightlifting rollerblading roller skating skateboarding surfing bungee jumping bike riding or riding in vehicles weighing under 3,000 lb including but not limited to motorcycles Vespas SL scooters dune buggies jet skis Segways Jeeps or smart cars
See well first of all all of that is is including but not limited to and second of all it could be considered a contact sport right right and Bryce rides a scooter I mean he’s not plowing me on the scooter that’s actually what I hang on
Hang on I’m going to cut you off because it says right here I’m not supposed to ask you what you’re doing with the money you didn’t ask me about the money oh yeah you’re right yeah you were just volunteering the information yeah go on I graduated late because I
Was um and I missed College I got an associates degree online so there’s this accelerated degree program in Vermont where if I get accepted I would go to school for 3 and 1/2 years no breaks I can finish my bachelor and uh get my masters that’s incredible what are you going to study
Hospitality I just want to double check make sure this is like all cool you just look yeah just swipe and check out all the pictures they’re your friends no strangers what’s this do that is your favorite button so if you hit that then the person goes onto your favorite list
And you can look at him anytime you want otherwise you just see the person once ever how do you know if you’re in someone else’s favorites you don’t this is the saddest app I’ve ever seen aren’t you a millennial you’re supposed to know all about this stuff
People use this yeah enough to pay for the the baby weird this is it the nursery to be it’s cute right it’s going to be great it’s got good light yeah there’s a lot of swatches up there it’s very hard to pick a color for a nursery because there’s a lot writing
On it for example take orange orange is usually good for joy and creativity but a dark orange can trigger deceit or distrust uh yellow usually associated with happiness and intellect but it can also symbolize sickness or Decay green makes us think growth renewal safety nature well guess what it’s also greed money
Avarice where where are you getting all of this this opening the shades the deeper meaning behind colors and the subconscious hold they have on a developing mind that’s kind of intense mhm well it was in the baby Section this one’s kind of looking a little like PE soup to me now mhm yeah and this one looks a little bright for sleeping even with the lights on yeah wow I got really Late yeah this one’s kind of like what a waiting room will be pain in mhm y That’s like an old IBM PC Sh Dusty blue green impractical and Idealist first time yeah yeah so what are you 3 4 months now exactly 6 and A2 congratulations congratulations thank you my couple is out of town they’re in Iowa they’re great and we talk all the time and you know we Skype a lot I’m good at reminding myself and my son that this
Baby is not a part of our family and you know my husband needs no reminding he’s great very supportive I love him I just haven’t been able to talk with anyone about it so I’m kind of bottled up I guess I’m jealous we can’t stop talking
About it I long for small talk all right we’re ready to begin if you want to Circle up I’ll catch you later Man Sor my guy is local he’s single so it’s just us um sometimes I really want my space like when he’s monitoring my diet or the person I’m sleeping with but then I also had a really okay time picking the color for the nursery with him that was cool
Cuz it was it was nice to picture where this is all Going what you were saying about like uh no two days have to be the same right every day is new yeah I mean both the things that I mentioned happened in the same day but yeah that was group fine was weird uh what about you I Umum I was the only one there alone I was the only one there uh without family at home what are you up to this show is so dumb this is a Timeless classic television show it is the Godfather of television shows and I mean that as in the movie Godfather what
The what the movie Godfather is to movies this is the television shows so Ross went to college with Chandler and and just happened to move across all from Monica no Ross and Monica are siblings come on Anna you know this do do you still uh talk to any of your college
Friends yeah yeah for sure um at this point they’re all either settled down or desperately clinging to the corpse of their youth and you are right in the middle yeah what about you College friends oh I I didn’t go oh right uh are you still in touch with high school friends no
No um why are you alone um sorry what like why are you doing this alone well I would like to have a family and this is a not not the answer that you gave in the interview okay um because I am alone that’s why yeah I just you know I feel I’m I’m
In this chapter of my life that feels like it should be over but it’s not it’s just on a loop when I hang out with my settled friends I feel sad for what I want and don’t have and when I hang out with my single friends I feel sad for
What I have and don’t want and I’m just I I just need to move forward and it just so happens that I’m doing it by myself was there ever anyone that you thought you’d be doing this with yeah there was actually for 8 years um but it didn’t work
Out you know sometimes it doesn’t work out people think I’m giving something up to do this but I don’t feel that way at all I just feel like I’m pursuing this thing that I care about it’s weird to be perceived as hopeless in this moment when I’m actually incredibly hopeful why are you
Alone I’m 26 but you’re with your family um well they never looked at me the same way after I got pregnant and I got tired of seeing myself the way they saw me or see me they were really mad when I got pregnant and they were really mad when I gave it
Up for adoption uh it really seemed like the only way they were going to be happy as if I was wildly unhappy um so yeah do you miss him um yeah but I missed them before uh we stopped talking I missed the family ah Hadad when I was
10 uh not talking has actually made it like much easier sometimes things just don’t work out I think I’ve heard that somewhere it’s likeo thank you so much for doing this with me so are you going to have the baby shower um no why not it just seems kind of
Weird because you’re a guy I don’t know because you’re single well you’re not making it sound less weird I think you should have one really would you come yeah it can’t miss its own baby shower can we not keep calling it it yeah sorry um they can’t miss its own baby shower
Yeah maybe we can come up with like a gender neutral name for the interim what’s a gender neutral name like pad or tag well Pat’s lame and tag is male I don’t think I should know the name I mean just temporary till we find out the
Sex and then I can give it a real name I don’t think I should know the sex either really yeah like Switzerland I guess the less I know the better that’s what they said in group they’re saying the opposite in my group great well so let’s
Just come up with something for the time being how about peanut I think that’s too human what about radio radio yeah it’s like personable but Anonymous SK is a little male to me for some reason soda female what about Leaf I think that’s actually a name yeah lamp
Lamp yeah I don’t I don’t know what lamp is okay lamp lamp I’m not going to whisper I don’t mean actually whisper I just mean like talk very softly Matt well I mean your voice is going to be the the voice that lamp identifies with the most cuz lamp
Hears you all the time and so I’m just trying to figure out a way to like also make my voice a strong presence so I think if you are soft it’s a little softer okay well then why don’t you just yell all the time that would come across angry
Or Anna Caper hey Carly Carly oh my God hi I haven’t seen you in forever hi yeah what are you doing here my cousin’s out here I’m visiting for a baby shower yeah so you live here now I do yeah how’s um law school so crazy it’s just the first
Year but still we’re like real adults not just like college adults you know what I mean yeah just sneaks up on you really fast so you live here and you moved with your boyfriend right right a is it congratulations in order or not really he lives in Seattle now I meant
Like you know babbe no no no no no no oh no so what are you doing in maternity where I’m working working working here yeah this great hi excuse me uh sorry to interrupt you work here uh what’s the difference between these two items the material and the color
H yeah also um somebody dropped some clothes on the floor might want to look into it yeah okay I should go I should go it was great to see you yeah alie’s going to freak out when I tell her I ran into you it’s the smallest world ever
Cool do you know where the the bath buddies are bath buddies yeah um over there you’re going to want to check over there okay yeah yeah hey hey I I I don’t want you to lift this stuff up I can lift something I was already carrying who was that it’s my sister’s
Friend friend you have a sister yes I have a brother see whisperings not so bad right hey I didn’t know you had a sister yeah Ally she’s going to know I’m not with Jason anymore who’s Jason the guy I moved here to be with what happened to him it it doesn’t
Matter it it was a long time ago do you think that she could tell that I was lying about being pregnant no no no we did a good job covering it hey what’s happening I just I hate the idea of Ally finding out that I’m pregnant again and my mom
Dad well look they’re they’re probably not going to find out right but even if they do what’s the worst case scenario I don’t know like it would confirm what they think about me already that that they’re right that the only thing I’m good at is getting pregnant okay you have also helped to
Create two families by giving the hardest possible gifts first your actual kid and now your actual self they’re not Silver Linings they’re Standalone good things that’s really nice thank you you’re welcome let’s get some house plants supposed to help filter out harmful airborn household toxins
What so you like just looking yeah cuz I feel like in Tinder everyone wants to like send you a dickpic or they want you to sit in their face or even worse like buy them dinner here I can just like look can’t you just swipe no on Tinder
Isn’t that like the same thing no it wouldn’t be because you probably end up hurting someone’s feelings or if you’re like me you end up getting drunk and sitting on their face anyway I can’t believe that the father of your baby made loner it’s not my baby
I can’t believe the straight single guy who you see all the time/ exclusively who father the child inside of you made loner is my second favorite app what’s your first favorite app an app that tracks your periods why do you have an app that tracks your periods not my
Periods your periods what oh my God here there you go you’re welcome hey hello you about ready to go yeah let me run this till back really quickly by the way I I brought you some pregnancy tea and for the record this stuff is awesome I’m like totally hooked on it
And as far as I know I’m not pregnant um Matt have you met Jules yet I don’t think we’ve been officially introduced but we’ve exchanged a lot of cold stairs so I’ll be right Back don’t name your kid Jesse I’m sorry what do not name your kid Jesse why not cuz I know a Jesse who doesn’t even know what tumble dry low is tumble dry low hey you ready yeah um okay uh I’m going to head out can you please just
Like clean up the uh syrup pumps yeah okay thank you so much I really appreciate it bye see you see you have a great day thanks see you tun bye did you guys want to find out the sex today yeah I thought we agreed to what that I shouldn’t know
Well CU my baby Anna I just want to feel as involved as possible you are involved you won’t feel any less of a connection with lamp just because you didn’t find out sex ahead of time I promise meanwhile I’m over here having a really hard time setting boundaries
Because I share a body with the thing that I’m supposed to say separate from move into my house what just until the pregnancy’s over I just want to know everything that’s I want to know when you’re up in the middle of the night I want to feel all the kicks speaking of
Boundaries well I could give you guys a minute no it’s okay you can you can tell them just let me okay are you ready yeah don’t yeah don’t say it are you sure yes yeah because I will blurt it out I’ll definitely blurt it out or
I’ll be so nervous that I’ll blurt it out that I’ll blurt it out better I don’t know well pleasure as always doctor will be in shortly I can’t tell if she is really rude or amazing I don’t think she meant it when she said it was a pleasure as
Always yeah I think she’s amazing hi Anna it’s your mother Ally said a friend of her saw you in California you’re still working retail I hear and uh Jason left you or um maybe you left him and if there’s anything else you’d like to tell me I promise I won’t be
Surprised your father says hello I can stay over occasionally yeah but evil doctor is the archetype not evil Mister here my question where does a monster even get a doctorate lots of monsters have doctorates it’s wait what were we talking about um Jason your ex right yeah Jason was a real Dr jaal
And Mr Hyde not some un like my dad my dad was more of a Dr honeydew who is that who is Dr honeydew are you kidding me from the Muppets big yellow head constantly torturing his lab assistant Beaker okay which frankly is not unlike me well I guess that would make me Beaker
Whatever h no no no stay put what’s with the all these lady books uh those are parenting books for single parents but everything I could find fine for single dads was for guys who are divorced or widowers it just didn’t really apply what about a father NOS oh
Yeah that one um I thought that was a parenting book and I couldn’t quite make out the thumbnail online so I bought it and not even close okay you’re sleeping in my room and where are you I’m going to sleep in uh lamp’s room I don’t want to kick you out of it
Your bed it’s okay I don’t want to mess with your lamp boundaries by making you sleep in the nursery okay yeah it’s all good come On hey hey are you okay yeah yeah yeah uh lamps Moov hi you to might I interest you in this Norwegian design it’s made from sustainably crafted loose site it’s durable it’s waterproof it offers an open view to the environment oh it’s $6,000 whoa clearly this converts into a toddler bed and a Mercedes no but this crib converts from
A toddler bed to a day bed and offers three different infant mattress positions ooh it’s uh 450 it’s made from particle board as a warning does that mean particle board is bad for the baby somehow no not at all okay great great I really like this great here is the item
Number present this at the register I think you two are going to be really happy with this ew no we’re not together she’s my surrogate wait why is the idea of me being a single mom and the idea of him being a single dad a yeah oh um I
Just sorry I think we’ll buy this on the internet oh we don’t work off commission no you Don’t this is sure a lot of uh invitations concerning the fact that I I’ve never seen you talk to anybody else or talk about having other friends you’re one to talk what’s going on what are you talking about you’re being really quiet no I’m not listen how quiet you’re being right
Now at the store when the lady thought we were together you said ew no I didn’t say ew as in you’re gross I said you as in it would be gross if we were a couple why why would that be gross because you’re like 20 years older
Than me why is that horrible so you would be okay with dating someone who was [ __ ] in their diaper when you were getting your firsthand job or someone who couldn’t count when you were in college or someone whose parents are probably like in the grade above you one
Grade above you I think you’re being prescriptive I think you’ve watched too many Woody Allen movies well they’re romantic Annie Hall Annie Hall right that’s movie about a parade of Aging neurotics quenching their fear of death by grabbing on the women at the start of their lives and then like feeding off
Them e then he made Manhattan which is a movie about dating a teenage girl that starred a real teenage girl who he then literally tried to date afterward in real life ew see it just sometimes people just connect it’s not about being attracted to one another do you know a lot of
45-year-old men who have 26-year-old female friends like how many friends in their 20s do you have I don’t know one Ow [ __ ] can can you tell me what a period is what you want to pull out the inner tube until it stops uh and and then you uh and then you remember uh it just um well if if you’re starting out it helps to put your leg up on something
Like a bathtub or a stool um because just so that everything opens up bit easier uh and this is is so mortifying it’s going to be much more Awkward for lamps so just get through it quickly yeah of course so then um it gets inserted so you uh um that’s when
You insert you push it in okay and insert it where seriously yeah vagina you know don’t whisper it kids will pick up on that that it’s like shameful just say vagina right in the vagina great put it in the vagina perfect and and you push until you feel
Resistance and so then you stop and you push in the little Plunge and the tampon goes in and it’s in and then you pull out the applicator and toss it in the trash Oh my God you expected me to remember that for like 12 years how embarrassing was that for you I’m pretty
Embarrassed then you’ll remember it forever H you I feel at least I didn’t get the bun in the oven yes they love it it’s um you’re getting two birds with one stone that name’s just on your body forever right that’s what I got it so I could remember something that I wish
Would have lasted forever are you worried that your next partner is going to be bothered by that why would I base my decisions now about some future hypothetical [ __ ] why are they an [ __ ] because they mind my tattoos the Sams don’t mind Seline and Seline never
Minded Nick your your bodies a greaty I mean love and laws love and laws if we’re not carrying the people we love with us then what are we even doing moving on okay well whatever what about you and that guy we’re not a couple okay I know you’re not
[ __ ] but like that doesn’t mean that you don’t have a thing we’re we’re friends it’s something and and it’s finite finite how in that this period will end at some point you will give birth to a child and then what happens you don’t need to be like a thing in the
Way that you define in order to break up just because you’re not like together together doesn’t mean that you haven’t created a bond you have created a connection between the two of you that will end also I’m really worried that you’re probably making a little straight white guy in
There I am that’s the whole plan I’m going to I I just gave him a podcast yeah it’s about Reaganomics oh my God speaking of we’re not open I don’t know when we open leave leave we’re not open oh my God I’m going to call the police you okay seems like you’re I
Seem off hormones probably what would we do without hormones to sum everything up we probably invent hormones to sum everything up with that’s that sounds like my mom and stepdad I just want to say thank you in advance for doing this with me and I also apologize for everyone that I know
There you arey hi your stairs are very slippery you’re going to want to get some grippy tape you know what grippy tape is it’s like sandpaper yeah okay Carson are you do you know what kind of tape I’m talking about mat you see it in Office Buildings
Uh come on in this is Anna she’s too young for you yeah we know nobody’s dating anybody uh this is my mom Adele this is Carson Hello nice to meet you may I Mom you can talk directly to Anna you don’t have to belly oh my God my
Third grandchild is in there and look how big she is already I mean you were a big baby like father like son right po daughter with the belly that big let’s hope it’s a boy where should I put these cookies oh she doesn’t know we brought cookies
Great why are there so many plants in here you have my Chapstick always with the Chapstick I decided I’m going to go with OA Oprah Opa it’s German we’re not German I just like the sound of it somebody’s probably German a lot of people are German but you yourself are
Not a descendant of any of them I’m going to go with Mimi Mimi mhm can you do names when you’re related through marriage Del I’m related tomato tomato what’s Carson going to be called Carson Carson you know it’s a funny thing that was going to be my number one choice if
Opa was already taken the humor Gene is very strong with these two Maddie and Marty so what are you going to be called um that that lady see if you’re not related you don’t do names organ donors do not get nicknames is that what this is like like donating an
Organ I don’t know I’ve never donated an orgon before you must be Dylan’s wife no I’m the surrogate congrats is that appropriate hey Shell Shell come meet the surrogate the surrogate oh wow look at you oh you’re so big already that’s what I’ve heard a that baby’s going to be healthy yeah healthy
Baby heavy baby have some more I’m s Don’t all right let’s see here a a come On I love it I love it this thing is huge here we go is it a weapon of something oh yes the bouncer yeah thank you Thank oh my God all right what’s next Who’s Next who’s this we got these two bag bags that’s Aity I am like craving pizza right now I think I’m having a sympathy craving you always want pizza that’s true the question is do you want pizza and if you do should I order it now or later I should probably go actually what we were going to watch
Season 9 of friends I think I’m just going to watch it at home um did I do something no I just have to be up super early tomorrow and I’ve been here all day thank you for that by the way thank you for thanking me yes so that right there
What you got sad please don’t see what I’m sad please what’s going on I think I think that we should have better boundaries was it the party was the party I’m sorry no yes but no it’s it’s everything it’s like we spend way too much time together I basically only hang
Out with you I don’t hang out with anybody else what’s the point what’s the point of what what is the point of a hanging out what we’ve spent so much time together and yet you still see me as like this like naive that’s true you’re like you’re always trying to like do
Things for me like I’m some case like I did stuff on my own I know that do you seriously think I’m that shitty of a friend I are we friends aren’t we I I don’t know I I think that if we are in order for this to work we shouldn’t be
I will see you on Wednesday okay he I’ll I’ll see you Wednesday With your baby wrap tied on in either the folded or the gathered meod locate the shoulder piece that is closest to your body open the seams to locate the pocket Place baby gently on the shoulder oppos the fabc panel that is closest to your Body W Send the doctor right in okay thanks what’s going on what’s with you two this is how we are now hey could you uh up could you update the food log again sure great that’d be great cuz since we’re not eating it meals together so much um
It would just be great to have a sense of yeah of course hi I’m shayene welcome to koala house Birth Center for Learning and feeling um I love the miracle of birth even more than that I love empowering couples within the process so it is truly my pleasure to be on this
Journey with you and I’d like to start class with a cleansing breath I am Matt and this is my baby and your partner uh no she’s not my partner we’re feminists um this is Anna uh she’s my surrogate wonderful and is there a third partner no wonderful I’m just letting go of the
Third partner idea hi I’m Ivy um this is Jackie and this is really B wanted us in a way that more so than ever before I feel like we are one yeah about to be three three I love you I love you you’re pushing pushing pushing pushing pushing and
You’re getting through it and you’re getting through it and you’re surviving and then you’re going to push and then you got your baby just breathe breathe into your partner support good breathe and I definitely recommend late clamp in and you can still do skin to skin they’ll just flop them right on you
While you wait the 4 to 7 minutes for the pulsing to conclude okay the umbilical cord doesn’t have a lot of reach don’t pull it baby will be here not here here I just want to say I think what you are doing is so brave thank you thank you okay move to the
Hips move to the hips yes what about our situation yeah I obviously won’t be doing skin to skin but Papa can all the Papas can you just want to wear a shirt that can easily open up and then they’ll just PP up a little stool sit right
There and he’ll do the skin to skin breathe breathe anyway good luck thank thank you you too so just to be clear he would be on a stool between my legs for 4 to 7 minutes while the baby still Tethered to my my insides yes is that a Problem standing position two now let’s practice the words of encouragement that we talked about this is really important you really uh you doing doing okay you’re doing really good you’re doing good you’re the best you’re the best A Hi um uh something is happening there’s no signs of a rupture or Vasa Privia placenta is in good shape baby’s heartbeat is strong movement is normal all signs point to pre- labor she’s only 34 weeks pre-labor doesn’t always mean labor is close you’re only 25% of faced but the baby is
Sitting very low recommend staying off your feet I never pictured this being friends or I all the reading and pamphlets and stuff about separating from the baby like there’s there’s nothing about like losing the dad hey we’re not going to lose each other you’re going to have lamp and I’m going to be in Vermont and what I I got into
School you got into school yeah get out of here you kidding me oh my God I’m so proud of you not in a dad way just no congratulations why are you crying I don’t know CU because I love you you love me how like in a in an
Adorable way like not a gross yeah like a boring way like don’t ruin it don’t I love you too by the way way no that’s obvious I know I know Look it Rolls Why are you you gry this is harder than I thought it would be has it been purple this whole time do you guys have to she’s so [ __ ] dumb the bottom strand cross it over into the middle then take some hair from the same side this looks good so you must be getting
Pretty excited yeah uh very nervous very excited I don’t know what I’m inant for there’s no way to know until you’re you’re you’re doing it I guess so yeah excited nervous but good nervous um my mucus plug dropped and I had my bloody show our bloody show sorry our bloody
Show I think you can say yours uh no I think it’s our bloody show is it yeah you know what since you’re pushing me on it it’s your bloody show it’s his bloody show what’s my bloody show is that gross to is that gross to tell you I’m here to to hear whatever
Whatever it is that you want to tell me anything else that you’d like to discuss we finished friends yeah we did we watched all of Friends do you want to um hold hands and eat candy and continue not sleeping together I thought you’d never asked Matt Matt yeah I was it I had a contraction it’s early right it’s early are we early uh I not like scary early I think it’s like a week okay time it we have to time it that’s time uh why I going to get my phone could you give me some water first
Yes water water Okay why didn’t you do that earlier I don’t [Applause] Know you’re supposed to be encouraging me yeah I I you’re doing great you’re doing so good you’re just God I don’t believe anything you’re saying right Now how how far apart are they now that’s uh 8 minutes still yeah here we go nice and cold just like you like it there you go whoa whoo oh my God wao are you okay I yeah oh wow I I have to go I got to go
Get change my shirt what I I got to have a button down for skin on skin okay this is this is it can you get can you get me a pair of pants yes okay too fast you’re going too fast okay it’s happening okay today oh my God what is today today
Today’s lamp’s birthday what is It good you want to sit down now no keep moving keep moving all [Applause] right you’re doing Great do you want some um I get some ice cream down the hall or I don’t I think I can have ice cream yeah okay there you Go okay if you want the epidural it’s now or never yes I want keep it up push good good Bear Down push push okay push push Anna push push push push push Anna don’t stop now Anna you can rest in a minute push Anna push push you can do this
Push push push push push Anna good good we’re crowning okay we’re going to push again in another 30 seconds we oh my God I can see I can see Lamb’s head lamp has hair you’re so amazing really happy for you okay Anna here we go take a deep breath push
Push good good that’s right push there you go we got it Hey Li hey there oh my God welcome Welcome to the world you’re so beautiful oh my
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