Hello and welcome back to not sorry I’m late with Tyler Grant and guests I’m your host Tyler and today’s guest is Shrea Shrea is up there with my favorite run talk creators and when I found out that she’s neurod Divergent it made sense why I found her content so
Relatable in today’s episode we obviously talk about how to get into running and its impacts on Mental Health but also how challenge it can be to navigate a private diagnosis the grief and discomfort that comes with late diagnosis as well as trying to find your community whether online or in real life
And much much more in this episode you hear us chat about run clubs apps and a few other resources which you can find the links to in the newsletter which will be linked in the show notes or description box I’ll probably begag you again at the end of the episode in fact
I definitely will but I just wanted to issue a reminder of the fact that a rating review or a comment is a free way that you can support the podcast it helps me to know whether I should continue should we get season two underway are there any guests that you
Want to hear from that you’ve not heard from before or any topics that you’d like to be covered this whole thing is going to be for and by the community so get involved let me know shape the direction of our future or not whatever
It’s up to you but as always we’ve got a load to get through today so let’s get into it what’s been going on in life lately you got any updates that you want to share um there’s lots been going on all chaotic which is very me I don’t really
Think about things I’ll just kind of think them and do them so going on a couple Long Haul trips in December which is very out of my comfort zone um going to Vietnam and then I’m spending Christmas in Australia so I’m really excited for that like now that
Halloween’s over all of the Christmas decorations have come out I’ve got my Christmas latte that I’m going to be sing Christmas on a beach that’s amazing have you been to like that side of the world before or is this a whole new experience this is a whole new experience I’ve never went traveling
After uni obious done loads of CF breaks loads of holidays but nothing really yeah mostly Europe and in January I know people talk about the quarter life crisis but I had the kind of like if you went through covid in your mid 20s I feel like ODS are a few years delayed so
I just New Year’s happened and I said to my boyfriend we need to go traveling right now we need to quit our jobs get rid of the flat and we need to move to Australia and he he was he was kind of like okay like we can discuss it um but
This is very you come this is like come out of nowhere blah blah blah but that’s just looking back the ADHD something got in my mind I was like we need to do this right now we’re do this right now like there’s just no point um so this feels like a good compromise
Like you know we don’t need to C our jobs get rid of the flat get rid of our cat who I wasn’t thinking about we can um have a go at just doing longer trips um using annual leave and I think that Tik Tok definitely adds to that you can
Sometimes end up on like the digital Nomad side and they’re like why would you work a 9 to5 and look at me I’m working from barley today and I’m My Own Boss and blah blah blah and actually you can still travel within your annual leave allowance and it’s okay to do a 95
Would want that security so yeah know I was speaking with um another guest and we were discussing the whole idea around the amount of Freedom that comes with being self-employed or like a quotequote entrepreneur but it’s like some people actually don’t need that level of responsibility over their
Own life like it’s I can imagine like as as as Grand and amazing as like to up sticks and move sounds cuz I’m I’m when you said it I was like oh my God we went through the same crisis I’m thinking Canada or Berlin and I’m like never
Never been to either mhm but I’m just like I just feel like I meant to live there and was like do you not want to do a trip before you go and I’m like I guess I should but it’s just and now I’ve got a plan a trip and then also
Plan a move when I could just plan and move that Sound Logic that such Sound Logic my boyfriend would say why would I want to move to Australia like I haven’t ever been there and I was like so exactly like otherwise you’re going to have to pay with the flights twice just
Let’s just move there right and then I was yeah oh yeah so I was like Canada but um we’ll see if that happens but then also what else were you talking about the moving autonomy yeah the long holiday you can definitely just like stack anual leave around like bank
Holidays and stuff and it goes a lot further so that’ll be amazing how are you feeling about it all are you like excited anxious um no I haven’t actually said this to my boyfriend I had all this energy and zest for booking it I was
Like we need to book this right now the flight are going to go up let’s book The Tour and then ever since it’s been booked I’ve just kind of he’s taken over the vaccinations the insurance the all of the actual responsible ad many parts don’t care
Um and yeah I’ve kind of put it to the back of my mind I think I’ve done this a lot in life where you want something you have this goal and as soon as I get it I’m like it’s done now like it feels like you’ve already done it now that you
Flight exactly I obviously don’t really sound on great for it’s incredible that I can you know I have the freedom I have the money to to go on these holidays and I know when I get there I’ll be fine but this is a very me routine and my
Boyfriend is picked up on this as well I do this social event yeah I’ll come to this I’m so excited the evening before I’m crying because I don’t want to go and um I think it’s good that if you can recognize that pattern um I’m starting
To think maybe it’s the autism side yeah props I got it it sounds like I’m talking to myself like I have a really bad habit of booking Rave ticket and then it’ll like I’ve got two coming up this month I’m like one I do want to
Go to CU I’ve got a bit more control over it um and I’ve kind of sold it into the person I’m going with as like yeah there’ll be music but there’s also food so I just kind of want to go and get something to eat and then if if we like
The music we’ll stay um and then the other one is theone who I like it’s Warehouse project and we used to go like every year and did have a pic attack on my behalf um yeah the last time went to our house project and I 18 and I was like this I’m
Done I’m done was it at the Depot or under the archers um it was at the Depot oh okay the the big one so I I got into I had like a big period between secondary at Uni until my mid 20s where I just didn’t go out and so I had like a
Mid 20s crap there so much I haven’t experienced I haven’t gone to festivals haven’t gone to Roes let’s do all this fun stuff and um so I missed Under The Arches which looked like a really cool venue really small I love that whole kind of leaky bacon Vibe yeah but still
When I went to my first Warehouse project it was amazing and then Co hit so I only been to one and then I think postco events are just insane that all over capacity you’ve obviously got um younger people who missed out on going out when they were younger so you get there and
The Vibes aren’t vibing The Vibes are off yeah like so off and what’s so in so many ways but I think one of the things that I keep noticing is like you have to actually pay to have a good time I always think it’s the nights where
You’re like I can’t really be bothered or I shouldn’t go they’re the best ones and the ones where you’ve hyped yourself up you’ve got the best outfit I don’t know if you do this in my mind I’ll foresee how the night will go I’ll have conversations in my mind this is going
To happen nothing when I get that and it’s those ones where I’m like this isn’t going to the plan that I had like it’s noten this isn’t going to the script that I had in my mind right um moving on to algorithm what has been in your social feed bringing you Joy or
Making you think I am G to go deep here go for it um I think that social media at the moment feels a little bit dystopian I don’t know if it feels like this to anyone else obviously there’s a lot going on in the world and I think that
Whatever your social platform is you’re going to see what’s happening in Gaza and it as something with autism I think I now know that my empathy it goes beyond empathy I feel things to such an extent that it will kind of stay with me for ages so I think that’s definitely
Been dominating my feed but I’ve also been trying to educate myself because I’m completely foess and I think that when you see other people talking about it I think it’s okay to admit that you don’t know what’s going on and it’s okay to just educate yourself and have conversations and I
Know that people sometimes scoff at you know well what what sharing an infographic on Instagram going to do like blah blah blah what sharing something on your story going to do raises awareness it gets people talking and I think that I just don’t think you should ever
Go at people for wanting to learn something yeah 100% I think also in this time I’ve been finding because people have been sharing what they see I’ve been able to find the creators or like the journalists that share it in a way that I can digest oh yeah and I think
Like you’re saying like what’s an infographic some people need visuals some people need short sentences some people need it to be gritty Raw on the ground and visceral to it for it to compute what’s actually going on as much as like you can get the news reports and
It’s like second person accounts like when you’re seeing literally seeing what’s happening on the ground from a like a first person point of view it’s impossible to ignore or like not that obviously can’t relate but it’s now m not is making sense the right
Way to put it like it yeah I think Mak it’s now making sense what everyone’s been describing I can see it um so yeah I think that’s a really important point you’ve made there and then in terms of trying uh what’s been going on you got any new hobbies activities or like even
A way of thinking that might be new to you recently like have I got new hobbies I’ve always got new hobbies that’s H dear um I’m trying so many different fitness apps at the moment so I stopped using Nike run club which I’ve been using the month picked up runner cuz you
Can always get like a twoe free trial um like and running in BRS of sharing codes and then I tried to yoga class today but the running theme is I’ve hated all of them and I’m someone that doesn’t like change so I’ve got like the side of me
That doesn’t like change I want routine I want know what’s going to happen but then the other side of adg which is like I’m bored I want novelty I’ve done this too many times but at least I tried and like that’s advice I’d always give to someone just try different
Things try what you like um yesterday I signed up for a day pass at the gym went and did like a 50- minute strength work strength workout and now I’m convinced that what I need to do is lift heavy weights so I can get really ripped and what I’ve told myself is just
Ccel your other memberships use that for a month and then if you’re really up for it by all means sign up to the gym but don’t do it all at once because otherwise 100 P worth of Fitness memberships is going to come out of my like bank account and I’m not loving the
Other two so let’s just see how it goes because I’m definitely someone that’s like I’ll just try everything at the same time so that’s quite wise at least you’ve realized and like noticed that pattern of behavior within yourself I think one of my when I lived in London I
Was at third space and paid don’t no wait it gets worse oh I don’t you know that wasn’t a gas bu and that’s bad that’s a gas Buon like go that SP yeah but like 10 out of 10 recommend like the reason okay I had the justification was
In my head I was going to go into the office bearing in mind I hadn’t been into the office in about 3 months so I don’t know why I thought joining the gym would make me go to the office cuz I hadn’t been to the gym in about three
Years but I joined the gym on the that’s on the way to work um so I was like okay at least I can shower at the gym I’m not going to feel gross like I have a really big thing about wet tiles on floors so I can’t like some gyms just aren’t
Designed in a way that I can use and then also the whole like towel thing they’ve got towels there that actually look clean like it was just going to it just worked for me anyway yeah I didn’t go I think I went I went once before work in
About was it six six or seven months I always remember I went to like two hot yoga classes which were actually kind of good I didn’t the the whole reason I I joined was so that I could try bar and pilates because I’ve I think I’m developing like worse hypermobility than
I had before so I was like let’s get some strength somewhere um went to one Poes class and then didn’t go back cuz I found it too hard and everybody else was doing it and I felt like an idiot and then never tried bar because Pilates
Went so bad so I’m just like I will invest in my health but then I might not actually show up so yeah in terms of like trying running which I think is what we’re going to dig deeper into that in our longer chat later but what do you think
Firstly like Peach your interest in Fitness is it more around like like I need to move because I have a body or is it a more of a hobby type of thing for you um yeah I’m a really lazy girl um and I I don’t really feel any Shame about that
Now I love lying down I love being horizontal I love rotting in bed which I know is so far removed from what we see on social media and what’s kind of um applauded and what’s kind of like you know the ideal um I probably love sitting down and line
Down so much because of the ADHD and I’m now learning don’t sit down because you won’t do it but it’s just me kind of like self-regulating I just can kind of be um I never I was never into sports or Fitness growing up I was never athletic
At school I was a tiny well I was a bit chubby I was a bit overweight and I would try and get out of PE at any at any opportunity um i’ say had period cramps which would sometimes true I would say that I’d H this I’d heard that
And the teachers were very non nonsense they they weren’t going to buy it they were like well you know what helps period cramps um getting your movement yeah movement um so I’ve never really grown up loving it and I have done it throughout my teens and my 20s always
For weight loss always to Moose something always to make myself a small as possible and I did it I did it overdid it sometimes never loved it and I think that this year in January when I had that crisis about oh my God I should be
Traveling the world my mind was just so busy I couldn’t quieten the side of me that was like my life isn’t where it should be couldn’t quieten the undiagnosed neurodiversity and i’ I had a gym membership a few years a few months before and like you
That wasn’t going to motivate me to go I’m not motivated by money in that sense and i’ go to the gym and I would I just didn’t know what to do didn’t know what to do with the weights and I was trying to do that treadmill thing the the
13 yeah I know the one you mean yeah where you just all over Tik Tok where you would go and walk on a tread War like a different incline and I was just I was bored doing it I couldn’t do it at the full speed anyway
And then I just thought you know what cancel everything and I was like let me do something that’s free because if I don’t do it I’m not getting that negative selft talk where I feel bad and it’s free so I think it was the end of January last year again very quickly I
Just said to my boyfriend I’ve downloaded CCH 12K I’m going on a run and he was like oh okay and I I had like one one gym outfit because my body had changed so much from the last time when I used to work out and I just shuffled
Around the streets um where I live so that’s don’t know if I answer to your question but that’s that’s how I can’t remember what my question question was don’t worry it’s all right but I think that’s quite a honest um account of your journey in the sense
That like it’s so relatable like we’ve all kind of been through those phases and changed attitude towards fitness and exercise and it’s also I think what we’re fed and like through school it’s a chore then after that it’s like you need to find your driver and if it’s not
Something that you find enjoyable naturally then yeah the public shame and pressure of this idealized body is what it’s it’s enough of a driving force um but then I think it’s like nice to hear that you have completely changed your attitudes towards it and it’s more of a
Personal thing of like let’s try something new and let’s get moving um so we will talk more about in a minute but just to finish off life lately how that’s not the question what has been what has been keeping you entertained recently so outside of
Social media oh okay I was going to say Tik Tok and my screen time is really bad I think a celebrity Memoir oh yeah I I’m a nosy can I swear you of course you can swear I’m a nosy B like I I read spare by Harry I don’t
Know what his last name is what is his last name Prince Harry when it came out um because I just want to know what their life’s like I I grew up one in like what do like what do the roal family eat for breakfast they eat cereal
Like do they do normal things and obviously in the past week very sadly Matthew Perry um passed away and I found out when I was at my friend’s house and she was like oh I’m just letting B so I’m reading that at the moment and then
Earlier this week I did buy Britney’s um autobiography so that’s what’s keeping me entertained right now but entertained in like a like a raving type of way way I think I’m someone who always looks at other people’s lives and think that it’s perfect they’ve got it together and I
Think when you read a celebrity account or someone who’s in the public eye is very easy to think that they they have struggles but they’re not really struggles because they’ve just got money they’ve got NY massive beautiful house they can you know go on a private jet
But especially these two um obviously we know that Britney has had her struggles so much in the public eye but with Matthew Perry I grew up watching friends or a millennial grw up watching friends love that humor I never in a million years in a million years could have
Guessed that he had a drug addiction that he was an alcoholic but to the extent where he was taking sort of 50 pills a day and it just goes to show we just have no idea what someone else is going through like it’s yeah yeah um I was going to say something about
I’m just not sharp today and this is irritating me do not worry oh right let’s let’s move on to learning and growing so anything around personal growth education development or any learnings about neurodiversity you’ve made recently that you’d like to share I am very very early in my learning about neod diversity so
Everything I’m learning is mostly through creators is through an affinity group at my workplace um I’m so so grateful that I had that in place because after I got diagnosed the first thing I did I when I logged into Gmail I just neurod diversity and there was like an email
That went around um during a an awareness week which had oh my gosh which had like a slide deck which had autism demystified ADHD demystified and that was really it gave me a solid ground to start on when I felt super shaky um there’s something that the yoga
Teacher said today which I think links well to your podcast is um you know next time when you’re running late to see your friend instead of saying sorry I’m late say thank you for waiting the next time the CH isn’t cooperating and you’re late for a meeting say um you know
Thanks for thanks for letting me join late and I just yeah I think that’s a good mindset to have and I think I’m someone who is always apologizing for themselves so yes St in a meeting I just just like right now I couldn’t get my thoughts out
I couldn’t I was forgetting my sentence halfway through and I couldn’t articulate myself well and afterwards my colleague was like don’t say sorry you you can’t help it like my God why am I saying sorry why am I always apologizing for things that aren’t that deep so yeah that’s definitely a learning
That I’m going to try and Implement it’s just I think it’s just natural for us to always be on the like not defense but like apologetic for not being perfect then it’s like who’s setting these expectations because it’s rare that I have the expectation of someone else to
Be perfect like so what your sentence is a bit slow I get things happen you’re a little bit late like I think also like tying it to the podcast it’s like yeah don’t be sorry you’re late diagnosed like it is what it is but you’re here now like and having the holding and
Having the space for people to learn more about themselves and what it means for them to exist in a world that’s kind of like built for our brains and like building the community to all figure it out together hopefully um so I’m going to dominate the conversation for the
Next like what 20 40 minutes and I just wanted to know if you have anything that you wanted to ask me whether it’s anything on the list or any random cues of course I do I’m super nosy so go for it I mean how how did those podcasts come about
And how you know what are the type of guests and conversations that you want want your podcast to be about so podcast came podcast came about uh it’s been on my brain for like three years it’s all about creating the space to be and learn
About NE diversity in a way that’s a bit more relaxed a lot less um high pressure or like um as in I know like Tik Tok isn’t intent it can be funny but I think the way that you delivered the information is very like ah ah ah so
Like you know like everyone every like every next video it’s like fact fact fact it’s like fuck off like let me breathe but then you keep scrolling so um yeah so it’s just a bit more of a chilled Pace way to go about it and also
I found that there is a lack of resources and spaces for like people of color women of col out just like anyone other than why autistics to just chat and be so that’s something that’s kind of of really important for me with this podcast and hoping to grow it into
Being just like a known spot that isn’t also I mean is is for no diverent people but it’s not always NE diversity first like sometimes we’ll just chat about life like NE diversity shows up throughout that in so many different ways and Sh obviously shapes the perspective and lends we see the world
Through but like it’s not everyday talk about the fact that like supermarkets are too loud like we don’t always have to fix it on like the negatives or those things like we can just have spaces to chat it and this is one of them uh types of guests so it’s interesting before you
Mentioned like bed rotting and um like no because I’ve literally just wrapped an interview a couple of days ago with a I called her a rotting expert she’s called raven and she makes lists to help people get out of bed um but they’re so helpful and like sat digested edited it
And realize they’re so helpful because they break down all of the executive function challenges that we have and I found it super interesting how we made it through that whole podcast that whole conversation without using this like key terminology that if you are newly diagnosed you don’t know about and
You’ll never going to find those tips be if they’re labeled under that so I’m kind of like happy that we could have that whole conversation without using such complex language and even having the first episode that went out is about um being black and your Divergent and obviously that’s all centered around
Intersectionality but if again you’re not deep in the work you’re not going to know that word so it’s like making it real life before getting to like the advanced stage so yeah for either newly late diagnosed or late diagnosed or newly discovered and like not deep in
The trenches of any hashtag just trying to get through life and looking for help to do it that’s what we’re here for yeah yeah I think that kind of relate to what we were saying earlier about you know infographics on social media I think with so many different topics
We’ve reached a point where we’re almost scared to say the wrong thing we don’t know and it’s almost like oh my God I should know but I don’t I don’t want to ask because I don’t want to accidentally offend someone and I think that where we
Can open up these spaces and just have honest conversations where it comes from someone wanting to learn I think we can all get to a better place and I think I’ve definitely noticed when I’ve told people about this sometimes you can see it in their face they just don’t know
What to say and it it it isn’t malicious they genuinely don’t know um and I think it’s because it’s you know neurodiversity is one of those topic that we’re still not that great on it’s come a long way but um someone said to me that it is where mental health was a
Few years ago yeah 100% can still be able to be subjected I yeah I agree with that completely I also think it’s as much as it we try and say like it’s not a trend it’s my life like right now it’s not a bad thing that it is a trend and what I
Mean by that is a fact that think about where we were with like the black experience a couple of years ago where we were with like gay rights where we’ve been with motherhood like all of these things have Their is the word like trending moment they like time when they get attention yes they should always be thought about but the fact that the like the term is trending not the experience so like and that’s overall if we can like drown out the negative press that happens here and
There will be positive in moving the movement forward at an accelerated rate yep so I have brought you on the podcast today because I think it’s better late than never to discuss running and movement and just how we can integrate that into our lives and maybe the impact
Is also had on you um so you briefly alluded to the fact that you kind of got into running prior to having your diagnosis so I’m just wondering how you became to realize that you were audhd so yeah it definitely all ties into that post Christmas New Year’s mini
Breakdown that I had and I know that I can kind of say it in a jokey way but it really was I really was not in a good place and I think that partly stemmed from the fact that six months previously in the summer I had tried
To approach this topic of trying to get a diagnosis and it I didn’t get anywhere and I felt super it’s not too difficult process I didn’t know who I should be speaking to I didn’t know the route I didn’t know the difference between a psychiatrist a psychologist a clinical psychologist and
It’s not built to be really digestible to Everyday People and so I left it and then I think i’ felt like I haven’t been diagnosed I’m I’m not where I should be in life and and yeah I just wasn’t in a in a very good place and so my first I can’t
Remember if I started couched 5K and then I had my first therapy session or if it was the other way around but since I wasn’t getting anywh with the diagnosis and I was in such a sort of terrible place I’m very fortunate I cap AER through my work I had access to CBT
And I I didn’t get saying what type of therapy I had I just told them how I was feeling and they’re like CBT which I now know that’s like the first report of but if someone um yeah if someone’s feeling that way and those therapy sessions some you know
When you I don’t know if you’ve done therapy sometimes I’m like it hasn’t worked I feel terrible and I’m in such a panic where’s all that therapy I did but it it has inter inter openen in so many places in my life and I think the fact
That I did therapy or CBT and running they kind of married in the most healthy way possible because I went into those sessions with a lot of the toxic rules and the toxic mindset that I had from growing up in the 2000s growing up when all of your favorite Disney
Channel actresses would drop a ton of weight um and it really changed my mindset and so I I owe a lot to those sessions um I’ve completely forgot the question how you came to realize you’re already HD so we’re just going for the journey so yeah once I’d had those
Sessions and with running I kind of pulled myself out of the slump because I think definitely when you’re in that hole you can only do so much and I couldn’t do the basics and so running was getting me outside the therapy was getting me talking and it reached a point where I
Thought no I need to do this and I don’t know how I’m going to do it but I need to do this because it’s Weighing on me and also I’m paying for boofer so if there’s ever a time to try and do it it’s now because you just never know
What you know you might lose your job you might leave you just don’t know what’s going to happen but it wasn’t an easy process um so just for context with uh you know Boer or the other types of Private health insurance um you go there you have a GP
Appointment you tell them what going on and I went in and I said oh I don’t know I might have OCD I’m kind of having these symptoms and I couldn’t even say I think it’s ADHD because I was so scared of being laughed out of the room except
It was phone call because all of the information of all of the ADHD information came from Tik Tok MH I can hand on my heart say if it wasn’t for Tik Tok I would not have been diagnosed with ADHD and autism they were not in my sphere don’t know anyone
That’s neurod Divergent you grew up thinking that it’s kind of a hyperactive boy at school that was my experience and yeah I didn’t know how to try and translate I’ve seen this on social media it really resonates with me I think I might have it
Um so yeah that was my first Port of Call and started the process again I I just didn’t really understand the process didn’t understand the language didn’t understand um who I should to be getting diagnosed by and with the route I went through I had the autonomy to choose who
I went to for the first consultation um just I didn’t know who to choose I didn’t understand that with a psychiatrist if you go with them you’ll be able to get medication with a psychologist it’s a slightly different thing and I had some negative experiences with a psychiatrist because
Not with them directly I never got that far but they’re kind of part of companies I’d say and you speak to the company first and then you know they’re kind of arranging everything on behalf of the psychiatrist so I kind of had some negative experiences but I just
Kind of had this grit where I don’t already kind of left it six months and I I needed to do it for myself and there was one day I was really upset at work and I contacted 10 different psychologist psychiatrists all of them and just sent this kind of template
Email um and they all had insane weight times and I remember thinking how can this isn’t how it’s meant to go you know I I have access to private healthcare I know the wait times along in the NHS but I thought this was been going to take a
Month or two and I’d had my diagnosis and I’d skipped down the road and I had the Laton post planned in my head and yeah the the person that did have an opening was a clinical psychologist and I’m so grateful that it went that way because she just understood me very well
When we had the phone call she was like look I’m not just going to give you a diagnosis for the save of it because what’s that going to be to you I’m going to tell you exactly what type of ADHD you have because they’re are different
Types and I didn’t know that and she was like if you want to do this you’re going to have to come to me have to travel to me and we’re going to do a full day of testing and it was really thorough and in that really thorough um day of
Testing their autism got picked up wow so yeah that one that one was a surprise I always kind of joke I got a buy one get one free deal but um yeah it was it was a big one to try and sort of digest I can imagine was it wasn’t even
On your radar or all you like 100% if it’s going to be anything with what I know it will be ADHD yeah but the funny thing is I think I think this resonates with a lot of people that have been diagnosed with ADHD and maybe other forms of neurodiversity I was going
Through the process and I was like I don’t know if I have this maybe I don’t maybe I’m wasting have time maybe I’ve wasted everyone’s Time by doing this um and I could never figure out do I want to be diagnosed or do I not I I couldn’t
Figure out what felt worse because getting diagnosed meant that I had gone 29 years where it hadn’t been picked up and the Very idea that I struggled at school struggled at University struggled in so many areas of my life and it had just gone under the radar that felt too difficult to handle
So um yeah even even a day I remember it was a Friday evening where I got my results I was like maybe I don’t have it and I came out of the call in a flood of tears and my boyfriend was like how did
It go and I was like I don’t know I tried to make a joke yeah I was like guess what and he was like what I was like I have I have ADHD and autism I just tried to laugh at off because that’s what I’ve done my entire life
I I just always tried to be the funny friend it’s like a coping mechanism so yeah obviously didn’t work this time we didn’t work this it’s that whole thing of like humor to process trauma it like you got to get through it it’s like don’t laugh or cry
Um how does it sit with you now it sits comfortably and it sit comfortably because I’ve had since June to process it and accept it and when I had a follow-up call with the clinical psychologist she said you you’re grieving and it’s okay to grieve grief
For the person that you thought you were grief for you know the the childhood or the teenagers where things just got missed by so many different people and even with that information it took me a long long time to be able to say that I have
Autism remember I had to tell my line manager at work and I couldn’t get the words out they were like stuck in my throat and it’s because we see autism betray in TV shows and films as often a nonverbal child we we see those extremes we don’t
See the high functioning women that have it where it’s not really obvious and so it it felt kind of yeah I was I felt blindsided by it but I remember when she first um told me you know deep in come wrong about this I was like no because
The few times where I’ve seen an infographic um I’ve I’ve always thought oh my gosh that kind of sounds like me but I can’t even begin to let that sit in my brain I’m just going to ignore it I’m just GNA Mar it somewhere um but if anything now autism feel feels
Like feels like a protective layer that you know all of these things that I’ve experienced in my life the things that come across is bad habits or rudess or being blunt or this that or the other actually this is me and you don’t like it so
Off no I think like the phrasing that’s really nice is like the diagnosis being a protective blanket because you’re right like there are so many years you go through time thinking like who am I like why am I so different like everyone and I think for me it was the case of
Everyone has these challenges and I get their Universal challenges but they’re the things I find easy where I’m struggling and is things I should have smashed when I was six like I can’t hold a conversation eye contact like makes me feel this really uncomfortable like there’s a reason I’m
Like this it’s all good so I think we kind of touched on like what got you into running but I’d love to hear you talk more about why or like what the impacts been on like your mental health and general lifestyle again you mentioned it a little bit like it set
The foundation to get out of depressive episodes but anything else you’d like to share with us yeah I think um I always see Tik toks and it’s like running has changed my life and running has done this to me and running has that and I understand what it is it’s a hook
You know I I’ve now learned a lot about social media and like you know what gets people in and what reals people in but I just always want to say to people you changed your life you did that because you decided to put on your trainers and
Go out for a run and um I definitely felt that way when I first got diagnosed I was like oh God thank God this happened when I had running because I didn’t have running I don’t know what I don’t know what I’d be able to do and
The first thing I did the next day I think I went and did like a 12K run on my own and I it felt like an out of body experience I was just like running kind of running my heart out running the anger out running the sadness out
And I think that the main thing that it’s given me is just a reason to go outside and I never thought I’d say this because you know during Co during the lockdowns we could go go outside once a day and not very far and it it was such
A valued part of my day I would go out every single day but since then sometimes I won’t need my flat for days especially since I can work from home full-time and even if it’s two or three times a week running gets me outside and I know that you can
Obviously do it in the gym do it on a treadmill and I tried to do that yesterday I was meant to do 8K and I was on a treadmill after 30 seconds and it was it was a fancy treadmill with a screen I could have Netflix I’m fing Bor
There is something about going for a run and feeling the wind on your face feeling the breeze it’s a bit uphill it’s a bit downhill seeing I love people watching and I’m I’m constantly doing it on my mind I’m not zoned in I’m looking at your dog I’m looking at oh my God
What train is you wearing or especially in Southwest London there’s a sort of Riverside route that I run and on a Saturday all of the clean girl sort of gym gires are out and they’re wearing really nice up Leisure and I just just love taking it all in so I think
Especially with the neurodiversity side it kind of does both I’m physically doing something but then also giving me that excitement but it’s also a time where I feel very quiet which is rare so but I’m I really encourage people to try running go for it but if you
Don’t like it don’t pause it I like running it’s my thing every time I’ve Aral we oh can’t think of anything worse it’s so boring and that’s what a lot of people feel and I think that if you can have a go at it great don’t like it that’s absolutely fine try
Something else your the thing that you love or yeah your thing it could be I don’t know side dring it could be walking it could be tennis there are so many other forms of sport out there so if you go out and do it and it’s not
Your bag it’s not because you’re rubbish it’s not because of excise it you could just love something else yeah I think the whole part of when you are trying something new and it doesn’t work out like I was saying with Poes earlier like I felt rubbish after something that I
Had hoped was going to make me feel amazing but it’s like like you’re saying that just wasn’t my thing same again with running outside I so I’ve started running in the gym like literally this week and I’m I’m I’m an indor girl I I love I literally had Housewives up
On my phone I was running through the reunion and I think it was the whole thing of like I don’t have to think about where I’m going I don’t have to like everything that you love I think I hate but then that’s again like we’re both doing the
Same sport but finding the way that works for us so I think what yeah it’s really encouraging and yeah I support you in like employing people to just try different things and just keep cycling through well cycling through all the different until you find the one it’s
Like and it also might even be the place you’re doing it like maybe maybe a home workout is for you maybe you actually do need the gym maybe jumping in the garden or outside like figuring out what it is or maybe it’s like something less traditional maybe it’s roller skating
Like there are so many ways to incorporate movement into your life that it doesn’t have to be the way that you see it all over social which is a cute little segue into run talk um I want to know about your perspective on it because it
Is one of the things that almost made me stop running cuz I am a quote unquote slow I get shin splints I’ve got hip problems like trying to get me over uh seven what was it what’s my time like a 7:30 well it was I I nearly had a six I
Nearly no not a six I had a 6:30 and then I had to change my run route and then I got scared so yeah we had like it was a I can hold it for 3K I think but anyway run is Jon aside um the whole clean girl of it all the runner
Girl of it all the scrunchies the squish like all of that how do you feel about I know this is why I love your content this is why I really wanted to chat today because like it’s refreshing it’s not um it’s it’s also nice to see something
Like yeah like I just popped to the cathon and get my shit like I’m not a Lula lemon girly like my bank is not set up like that so yeah what’s your experience been with social media and running and then we’ll get into like social side of running as
Well I think that the senent before your question about this captured it very well that’s exactly how I feel by it um there’s a very distinct kind of I don’t want to say group but Persona of um of what a runner looks like in London and I think this also ties into the
Neurodiversity because I had this feeling growing up through school that I was different I could never put my finger on it but I was different I was never never in with the cool kids and what I learned in therapy everything goes back to Childhood first of all
Everything goes back to Childhood and I think the reason I haven’t gone to I’ve been to one run Club I think the reason that I haven’t gone back or tried different ones is I really recognized that we yeah I don’t think I’d Vibe with them I think first of all big social
Things scare me anyway but I think um I don’t know how I could relate and that’s how I make all of my friendships kind of relating to people the reason I started running is because I wanted to go to a run Club because I wanted to make
Friends then I started to I couldn’t I couldn’t run as fast as they run like I didn’t believe them when it came to this whole Sexy Pace bullshit and then it was like I’m seeing the groups and seeing the people I’m like I am so okay like I am not going to
That like it’s just a it’s a swarm of white runners in Nike Alpha flies I’m like I can’t I’m I’m not set up like that like I’m not bu like that and it’s also like why am I going to take myself from like it just it did actually look
Like school yeah and that whole cool girl click kind of thing I’m like no thank you so and then yeah when you jumping on to run talk and I think what doesn’t help is the algorithmic nature of things like the two extremes kind of surface so on one side you’ve got the
Aesthetic Speedy can turn taking a shit into the best Vlog you’ve ever heard kind of girls and then you’ve got putting it like they they give you nothing a Pinterest quote couldn’t give you but it’s like I’m hooked I’m in yeah um and then on the other side you have the and
I think analyzing them is kind of fun as well the slow runners who have made slow running their personality but in the point where it’s like almost competing against the other Runners to validate their running and it’s like what I just want to go outside and
Even and meet people yeah and it’s like there’s no space for the genuine average hobby Runner yeah yeah I think that running has blown up on social media in the past I don’t know six months eight months whatever and that’s amazing and I love that all the
Like so many different people are trying it the things that I don’t love and the things that I always try and highlight and the content that I put out who my content in the Tik toks I put out in these Sil little videos is that like
What you said you can go out with an old pair of trainers and I did couch 5K which is 12 weeks without buying anything and I realize that that’s like a super sort of cheap way to do it but I have gotten this trap before where I’ve
Gone to the night shop bought loads of outfits okay well we’ve bought that so you need to exercise and then when you don’t do it you feel bad and it’s like negative cycle stuff start and I think that now that running is super popular especially in the last few weeks I’m
Seeing these insane running wishlist two 300 pound running sunglasses Nike Alpha FES I’m glad you mentioned the scrunchie because 40 pound scrunchies don’t get me wrong they’re super cute they’re lovely they’re beautiful you’re going to look so cute and cool in this whole outfit none of it is necessary
And you know I haven’t seen it once or twice I think I’ve seen the same wish list 10 to 15 times and you do you it’s your wish list and if you have the money if you work hard enough to buy that stuff like get it that’s amazing but most of us don’t
And yeah I think it all feeds into the wrong clubs that I see and I just don’t see people that look like me I don’t see people that represent me in terms of their sort of neurodiversity side and I’m not saying they don’t exist but they are predominantly white and I
Think I think one of the reasons that I feel so comfortable in this conversation beond the ne diversity thing is speaking to another woman in color um and I really started think to myself over the past week why is all of the neurodiversity content on Tik Tok the ADHD why is it
Always white people why is the majority of the running content I’ve seen like a handful of Asian girls most white people yeah and sorry yeah that was it really it it’s just something that I’ve starts to become aware of um maybe because you know when you’re looking for me outside
In it’s a bit like I don’t know but I don’t think it is that and I hope that Brands I hope that all these you know what are they called like athle Brands when they’re reaching out to work with creators and they’re trying to get their brand exposure that they start to
Approach it a bit differently and try and diversify because how long can that go and I know that when they show their sort of um outfits their idea of diversity is having a plus-size go and it’s like tick diversity done but I just don’t think it’s good enough
I don’t even think in running specifically they’re not doing much for body diversity um I think what I’d also like to chat about is your tips for beginner Runners so we kind of like briefly alluded to some earlier on but if there’s anything more specific you want to delve into um
Whether it’s like AB you recommend or like ways to get going get off the couch get into the streets or the gym okay okay this this ties in well to what we just spoke about first of all by all means consume that content all running content let it inspire you
Get tips from it all of that but please just be aware for your in sanity that it is content and even the most relatable content has been curated and um I think especially with like day in the lives or blogs they used to feel like you’re going around with someone it’s been set
Up someone’s either stuck their phone somewhere or done a tri or done multiple takes and just take it all with a pinch of salt um just kind of protect yourself and then I feel like what you said about slow running everyone’s like do you hate running do you want to go
From the sofa to running 5K have you already taken growing up it’s not because you’re a bad Runner it’s because you didn’t run slow enough and I am like I haven’t said anything yet I’ve never done a post about it I completely disagree I have always been a slow
Runner like I have never been out there running 4 minute kilometers that’s just not me I’ve always been slow I think that you need a plan um and I think it’s great advice to just be I’ll just go out there and like run a little bit and have fun but for me
I needed a plan and I needed a structure and the best bit is there are loads that are free they’re of Absol free running experts have all they’ve worked out for you so you know exactly how much you need to run how much you can walk and
You can build up over weeks or months to being a couch potato to being a runner and I think don’t even beep the pace the slow pace the sexy Pace just find a plan that works for you find a trainer that you like because they’re all so different
The apps are different the P different um Runner has been pushed a lot and so I think that’s probably another reason that I was a bit disappointed by it from an accessibility point of view how can I say this primtive it needs work it needs work take for
Example if you you know you’re it’s meant to be a coach you’re doing a guided run I’m trying to trying to do an interval run I’ve got the voice The Voice coach which is like AI on the highest setting possible I can’t hear over the music I’m listening to the
Runner playlist that should be able to lower the volume and especially for people that suffer with auditory processing that’s that could definitely fit ADHD definitely for autism I definitely do I have no idea what they’re saying so then I’m looking at my phone constantly oh my God I was meant
To run then I I’ve missed it I’m completely off the plan and you were charging me 15 pound a month and the other day I this is this is getting nitpicky it’s just so busy and I think that obviously I assume it’s only a few years old they’ve done
Really well get someone from you experience in get a developer in just work on that because maybe for the average person it’s fine but for me it gets me overwhelmed and when I’m having to stop my run a minute in because all these pop-ups have came up it’s selected treadmill and
Outdoors I can get very like this very quickly so I then have to be like so I just weart the Run we start the run that I didn’t find it very user friendly and it those little moments where I’m like huh yeah the accessibility is sorry thought about what did you start off
Your journey using so I used the NHS Cas 5K app I hate it 10 12 out of 10 I have used that so many times throughout my life um I never completed it before I’d get to a certain point where i’ get hard I’d be like I’m not doing this anymore
Um but you can choose your coach it’s very just clear and easy to lay out and what I like about it is that when you when you can see or run for the day you can see exactly how much you have to run or walk and I think that was really
Reassuring for me overcoming that barrier kind of like okay it’s only this much um and now I moved on to Nike Brun Club again it’s free that took me a little time a little bit of time to get used to again because I hate change and
You couldn’t see how much you had to run for the whole thing but um globally the Nike Global head coach I think everyone around the world loves coach benett I don’t know if you’ve heard about him and he is just I saw a comment on one of my Tik
Toks saying that they would invite him to their wedding I would invite him toight he’s just like a warm hug that warm is the best word a warm hug a reassuring hug um like I owe my life to him and then he’ll comment when your think being like no needed all the hard
Work it wasn’t me but genuinely I think you know exercise and PE lessons and the bleep test all of it is someone shouting at you it’s punishing it’s no wonder we don’t enjoy exercise and no wonder we don’t find joy in roof when you have someone kind of being your
Cheerleader and pushing you on and all of that it just really can change your mindset what is your go-to song when you’re like in a bit of a slump you’re like I just need to get through this like next little part of the Run what
Gets you going I’m so glad you asked me I think ktie Perry Part of Me I have no idea what that song is we going to sing a little bit of it or no I can’t genuinely because I remember when I was a te I was like 17 18 and when I was
Running I was running for weight loss but that song and I’d listen to it on my iPod because back then you didn’t have apps have smartphones you would run with an iPod Nano that song I’m like never try and talk about my age on Tik Tok because I’m like
Trying to like pass being denz but I’m so not like you fully I thought you I thought we were the same age I’m 26 I thought we were the same age thank you thank you yeah I’m I’m in hiding um but it’s a song that just gets me pumped or Mulan
Let’s get down to business that’s song that one I know that one is fire I read it yeah you need to get a song that like gets you going that definitely does thank you for everything that youve shared today and being so open and honest about your well journey in both
Running and life um I’m hoping that the audience got something from it I definitely did no thank you I feel like um this was a a great chat and I’m super grateful that you asked me to be on I truly have no idea what I’ve said for like the last
Hour and 10 15 minutes we also feel honored whenever a guest gives up the time to join us and share on the podcast all of their socials will be linked in the description box as well as in the show notes if you’re listening on Apple or Spotify the episode was incredible
And I don’t need you to tell me how great it was I do need you to tell the person who has joined us late and is wondering if it’s worth listening to I like comment rate or review of the episode sharing what you’ve learned or
What you want to see more of will be super super helpful because season 1 has been free for you but a lot of work for me and before I start work on season 2 I guess I’m kind of looking for an oncore like do you want more are there any
Guests or perspectives you’ve not heard from before here’s your chance to shape the future of not sorry I’m late you can also support this show by signing up to the newsletter the vibe is media and culture the vibe is pop culture the vibe is just like this podcast live from a
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