[Applause] oh I love the flea market you never know what you’re going to find hopefully not flee you kids looking for anything in particular knives a really loud musical instrument would be nice hatchets maybe something of the plastic horse variety nunchucks what about you Bob well I’ll
Be looking for old cast iron pants to use as a weapon for cooking but as a weapon I guess if it came to it like if you had to fend off a Hamburglar maybe just be careful that thank you Tina okay kids here’s a couple of bucks each go
Nuts or buy some nuts other people’s used nuts hey girl Lena is it dangerous to eat a tangerine with a carrot they’re both Orange it’s fine I’ve done it many a time okay bye that was Gale did she want to know if it was okay here to combine something with something else
Yeah orange foods it’s okay right what are all these small pictures of baseball players they don’t look that athletic but they are holding bats is this guy smoking oh yeah oh look at that sweater oh look at that rug oh look at the painting Sunset is it a good painting
Bob I can’t tell me neither how do you tell if a painting is good I don’t know a steamer trunk full of old TV guys oh my God the wheie freaking Mammoth Bob it’s the wheelie freaking Mammoth I know it found us how did it find us why did
It find us we got rid of it are we cursed it’s not our fault the kids completely stopped playing with and it was way too big for our apartment way too Big it’s not like we planned on getting rid of our kids huge toy it just happened yeah the truck was just it was there and the kids were at school they didn’t play with it anymore and we thought they would just kind of forget about it we were sure
They’d forget but then they didn’t oh hey Mom Dad have you guys seen the wheelie Mammoth anywhere we want to jump off the fire escape and land on them um first of all don’t jump off the fire escape isn’t that what fire escapes are for that’s what fire escapes are for Dad
Yeah it’s safe uh no secondly uh we thought you guys didn’t really play with Willie Mammoth any anymore so um we donated it you what you got rid of the six velure uh yeah months ago and uh you’re only noticing now I might add how could you is your heart made of stone
Well we don’t is not mad at us um somewhere Willie could live a better life to a roller rank uh yeah cuz it’s got wheels the roller rank in town uh no no a different town still kind of mad here people trying not to lose my C
Why would you do that uh cuz these aren’t just uh regular kids they’re um orphans Yep they’re orphans yep sad little orphans with soot covered faces and the only joy in their lives is getting out on the rink with that Mammoth yeah and we’ve been wanting to
Tell you guys but we were waiting for uh sign thank you card from all the orphans I don’t know what’s taking them so long uh maybe they’re busy with orphan stuff scrubbing floors and stairs hiding in laundry baskets singing about tomorrow huh and you guys are for real right now
Promise absolutely well I guess wheelie is probably having a better life at that rink than it was here and doing more good it tripped me a lot like a lot if you’ll excuse me I’m going to my room to write a tribute song about wheelie I’m thinking of calling it rolling down the
River if that’s not taken or dream on if it is and now the bastard’s here I’m freaking out what do we do do do we tell the kids the truth about how we didn’t tell them the truth before are you nuts they never look at us the same way again
It’ll be all right my parents lied to me and Gail all the time uhhuh but Gail turned out to be Gail there are options besides telling the truth oh yeah besides that this Palamino is now a palomino hey guys I’m going to go show Mom and Dad my new horse and probably
Say that Palamino Palomino thing again to them yeah you definitely should you’re going to love my room it smells pretty okay most of the time you’re used to a barn so you should be fine with it okay the kids haven’t seen it so we’re fine we just need to gather them up go
Home before they oh my God they’re seen us No Cry crap a crap you are my main man H there’s more where that came from no no no she’s going to see the Willie Mammoth oh my baby look how big you getting huh but mama can still carry you look at me go
Look at me spin very impressive mom but can you put me down wasn’t that fun uh yep hey did I hear you and Dad scream a second ago oh hey I I just came over here to to see you oh maybe you heard of some yell because we were shocked at the
Price of an old CD $3 for music no thank you Dave Matthews is what we said loudly oh hey do you like this horse I got this Palamino is now a Palamino great great great hey let’s find your brother and sister yeah let’s go this way come on Tina hey kids I know
We haven’t been here long but uh what do you say we get on home huh are you serious yeah did you know all this stuff is used SC even where we came in let’s say it is but I spent neither of my $2 and I’ve only spent $150 and got the
Greatest thing in the world cuz this Palamino is uh let’s go talk about it in the car right come on let’s go let’s go Mom what’s going on you guys are acting weirder than usual we came all this way for dumb stuff and we’ barely looked at
Anything dumb yeah I got my eyes on a rusty screwdriver and some of those baseball guys but I don’t know what else is out there I’ve still got 50 cents and0 50 cents at the flea market is like $1,000 at an inside store uh oh Louise switch blades look stabby stabby yes
Please yeah go play with with the knives kids okay they’re not going along with the leaveing plan so we got to sneak over and buy the wheelie Mammoth ditch it here someplace where the kids can’t see it and then we’re in the clear seriously you got a better idea no so
I’ll keep the kids busy you go and take care of the wiie mammoth capiche got it I need to hear you say capiche why just say it fine capiche there you go hey uh that big uh stuffed animal looks sort of interesting I I guess um
Well what are you asking for it100 $100 I I mean uh 100 huhuh yeah it’s pretty special big Majestic creature wearing those roller skates imagine a time when these things used to roam the land man I’m hardly interested in it at all I’m over here looking at this uh Remains of
The Day poster I’m I’m a huge Anthony Hopkins fan or ahop has the right amount of swords in it cuz right now it’s at zero and I feel like that’s low uh maybe we should stay in the pocket knife family does it seem like Mom and Dad are
Acting weird to you ooh you think someone’s going to propose hello Lena did you know you could wear a turtleneck as pants I don’t have time for this right now Gil you just need a safety pin for the middle mom’s on the phone mom’s off the phone
Mom and Dad are whispering to each other mom’s picking people up and carrying them around some of us lucky do you think maybe Mom and Dad came to the flea market to do something weird like this is a cover like spy stuff or drug stuff
Are they drug spies oh my God Mom and Dad are drug spies that’s hot you think Mom and Dad are flea market drug spies it just makes sense mom’s the brains dad’s the buddy no it’s way too cool for them but something is up look at her on
That phone all secret like oh gaale I got to go now poop talk to me it’s so expensive Lynn she wants $100 you want me to come over there and negotiate cuz I’m a much better negotiator than you that’s not true we’re both bad well I’m
Less bad look I got to go make it happen I love you I love you too you’re worse than negotiating well that was a normal conversation hi kids so normal of you to say that hi again I’d like to formally offer you uh $10 in cash for the stuffed
Animal and I’m sorry to say this offer is time sensitive because I have to fly good at this oh I guess I can do 90 look I’m not flying to a business meeting you’re not no and I don’t have a lot of money we own a restaurant that not many
People eat at but I could give you free burgers instead if you eat burgers are they good burgers I mean I I I do try really hard tell you what how about you give me 10 bucks now and uh 30 free burgers down the road wait 30 burgers is
Way more than $90 ah yes and no you own a restaurant you understand hard cost versus soft costs I don’t actually fixed costs versus variable costs don’t recognize those words trust me this works for both of us slightly more for me but you’re getting a great
Deal if you think about it an accordion is just burping with notes sounds so good sweetie okay you keep looking around in this area and don’t go to a different area sure how it go I got it you did you made the deal please tell me
You didn’t pay $100 Bob all right enough of this let’s go listen in on that sneaky pants okay I really don’t know how much I paid for it there’s really no way to know but I’ve got it and now I’ve got to get rid of it um do the kids
Suspect anything I think we’re good as far as they know that Mammoth is still rolling on that rink up to his button orphin that Mammoth did she just say that Mammoth as in wheelie Mammoth I think she did so they didn’t donate wheelie to the orphans at the roller
Rink our parents are lying Liars how do they sleep at night fishy about that donation stuff I just couldn’t put my finger on what it was about that orphan roller rink story that didn’t add up I think Mom and Dad need to be punished within the maximum recommended sentence
Of the law sword worse we mess with Them oh I’d wear a kimono all the time there are pockets in the sleeves I can put chicken wings in here dip in here here mhm oh hey guys there you are you’re pretty sweaty oh yeah someone was um selling a treadmill so I think I’ve seen enough dumb stuff should we get
Going um I’m sure yeah yeah yeah I could go home now I suppose goodbye kimono wait for me don’t sell it to Steven Tyler except I actually don’t feel like going home just yet do you guys no I don’t feel like going home you don’t we
Don’t I just bought this little guy and I thought to myself you know who would appreciate this more than me who the orphans at that roller rink where you guys donated the wheelie Mammoth uh so I would like to go there and we can also
Say hi to our old pal wheelie that is where he is right yeah of course that’s where he is silly he’s so there good well I hope he’s not too busy helping orphans learn to skate to say hi I don’t see why not uh yeah we could do that
Uh-huh yep great I love going to places where things are it’s the best crap okay so not ideal yeah Louise clearly knows nah she only thinks she knows because she doesn’t know she knows because she doesn’t know you know right also that was a really dumb lie we made
Up now it sounded good at the time I always wanted to help orphans can’t we just tell them the truth no never what we got to do is turn this lie into a truth then it’s not a lie anymore that doesn’t sound right how about this you
Drive the kids to that roller rink in bog Harbor you know the one at Route 16 but drive very slowly the hey Mammoth and I get a ride with Gail Gail yeah she’s got a car she can take a break from eating tangerines and carrots we’ll beat you guys there get everything in
Place and and we’ll get out okay where’ you hide the thing by a tree over there oh god with a note you better hurry also this is the worst plan great plan so mom’s staying to go to the bathroom with the Porta poty because she likes it she
Loves it and we’re not waiting for her no way I mean this is her special time so we’ll swing by after we’re done at the rink and see if she’s finished this all makes sense dad just a couple more questions about oh my God I love this
Song I want to sing we should all sing let’s talk about sex baby let’s talk Gil over here G I came as fast as I could I didn’t even change look turtle pants so Dad when you donated Willie to the roller ring did they give you a receipt
You know something for your records I’d love to see it sometime or would you rather discuss the orphans and their therapeutic roller skating uh who wants ice cream yay yay Gil you got to step on it but I’ll tell you what if you get a ticket I’ll
Pay for it you will that’s fun I like going fast should I keep my eyes open yes keep your eyes open I can’t believe you let us get a second cone the line was so long but you just wanted to get right back in there and then you wanted
To taste every flavor and then you counted out your money so carefully it’s almost like you’re not in a hurry to get to the roller rink what come on oh boy what do you mean oh boy oh boy um look at those trees off to the right
They look just like the trees in that movie I mean I guess what movie am I thinking of you’re going to think of it before I do dad but keep looking that way keep looking at the trees and tell me what movie I’m a no that’s not it
What is it oh God keep looking go go go park around back HK around back okay okay manager I’m the manager is everything okay oo who’s this big furry fella listen my husband and kids are going to be here any minute and I need you to pretend like this huge wheelie Mammoth
Has been here for months because we donated it to you and it helps the orphans learn to skate and my husband and I are great parents okay sure no problem really you do that yeah I’ve been stuck in a lie with my kids before I told them if you swallow gum it stays
In your stomach for 7 years I had to get a radiologist to make a fake x-ray of a kid with a lot of gum in this stomach great so you get it okay so can you just kind of put it out there on the rink and
Tell these kids they can push it around or something and if they could shout this thing is really teaching me how to skate that would be great I don’t see why not and uh maybe rub some suit on the kids faces too far too far never
Mind never mind all thank you so much oh and I wasn’t here or her it’s going to be hard to forget this but you do it well here we are I’m sure we’ll see the wheelie Mammoth any minute now I’m uh sure we we will huh and there’s Willie
Amoth I mean uh there he is uh obviously would you look at that huh hi do you need to rent skates no uh no we uh just came to see that Willie Mammoth oh yes thank you so much for donating him really my mom and dad really did donate
Him here they should the orphans just adore him oh my God Willie really is teaching kids how to skate there I mean it’s not a big deal if you think about it sometimes parents got to tell little fibs to their little kids cuz they’re too little to hear the truth you
Know uhhuh do you think my car likes me it’s like Mom and Dad and you immortal goldfish like how they would replace your goldfish every time it died what I mean uh nothing Let’s uh talk about your car liking you I think it does my beloved goldfish lived 18 years with me
Before getting sent to the National Aquarium to be studied and to relax uh right yeah no no I know forget I said anything are you telling me mom and dad lied to me are you telling me goldilicious isn’t Immortal and doesn’t see the birthday cords I send her every
Year what no no come on I cannot believe this Gil Gil where are you going I will not let you pull a goldilicious on your kids Gil no oh come on oh oh my foot oh my butt oh you’re a hero and you’re a family of
Heroes Keep It Up well I’ll be how about that Dad I don’t know what to say we didn’t think you and Mom were telling the truth sorry no no no no no no hey ankal what are you doing here L took the wheelie Mammoth here today from the flea market
And I drove over 90 M hour with my eyes open ha I knew it well I take back that sorry is that true dad uh oh who wants ice cream me Jean I mean I’m so mad at you right now I could eat ice cream or
Ribs feels weird to say this but an Gale keep talking tell us everything okay there I want don’t listen to Gil she’s just pranking you it’s it’s a fun prank oh really Mom then why are you here are you part of the prank yeah yeah I ran
Into to get at the porta potty at the flea market and we decided to come here and prank you guys a that funny so you’re prank Frank is for Aunt Gil to show up and tell us you lied to us yeah I don’t know what to believe how dare
You you’re just like Mama and Dad you’re a liar and you’re married and you had kids L maybe we just you know what you know you you mean keep having fun with this really great prank that’s going really well I am so disappointed in you were those even movie trees Dad we will
Discuss your punishment when we get home there will be spanking on both cheeks you telling kids no fine I’m sorry it all happened so fist over several months thanks Bob seriously though I am sorry too I was happy to see a go but I guess as a dad I
Should have known it’s wrong to steal toys from children most of the time it’s not stealing if it’s at the park and you give it to your cat right uh we’ll go get the mammoth try to all fit in the apartment with it I guess hi oh you guys
Still here you want to rent skates uh sorry uh we just have to get the mammoth and bring it home oh uh that’s not going to work for me what do you mean we did the big lie and we made the LIE real and it’s great this thing’s on mascot now I
Already updated the website you did yeah check it out oh it looks good oh I like the design this is a game changer in the rink business you got to break like this once in a lifetime I mean that thing probably costs a fortune probably but
You know soft cost never mind listen our kids are really mad at us and the only way to try to make it right is to take this home what about the orphans they’re not orphans we made that up I bet at least a couple of them are this magical
Guy is staying right here please sir um don’t don’t do this so much of my life I let slip through my fingers not this time we need this Mammoth Linda keep pulling he’s got no traction he’s on Wheel offense attack please I think you need a day off for something F we can
Take this guy we can take him I’m going to bite him don’t bite me hey we’re whipping him around hey hey hey hey stop stop look we’ve had a little talk we want to leave wheelie here huh you do we want to make the LIE real we don’t like how it
Got here but it seems like the right home for him he’ll be happy here lots of space Good Vibes cool jams and he’s a sucker for a disco ball I mean who is it uh I’m not it’s a bunch of broken glass spinning around oh terrifying it could
Kill us all kids that’s so nice of you so mature yeah I’m impressed you know we thought you wouldn’t be able to handle having to give away a huge stuffed animal that didn’t fit in any room but we should have been honest with you and trusted that you could handle it we got
More Handles in a grocery bag baby so I’m going to let go of this and no one’s going to take it and no one’s going to bite me oh yeah sorry I said I was going to bite you I wasn’t going to do that I’ve never bitten anybody a li we call
Her piranha mama she bit a guy at the grocery store we’re still not allowed to go to that one well I’m not you are hey one last skate with wheelie before we go I’m not good at this at all I’m us usually So Graceful I I think this is
How I die I can only go backwards tell me if there’s anyone there tell me if there’s anyone there oh I I don’t want wheelie to remember us this way listen if you ever want to bust out of here no questions asked you call me okay and hey
Keep it wheel yeah you just slip them on you can pee right through the neck hole it’s so Conv [Applause] Lck mail recess playground slide be there I don’t know who wrote this but a please wouldn’t have killed him hey Tina this is from you you could have just told me to meet you here or we could have talked at home where we both live
No I got to no too a if we knew we were both getting one we could have walked here together caught up on the day yeah that’s a shame so who wrote These I don’t know Mom hey guys I got a note too mine says hi Louise hi Tina I’m the one
Who wrote the notes isn’t that fun a little not really so you were just waiting in the slide for how long only like 20 minutes but it has great Acoustics for singing lock and love nice what do you want Courtney we’re wasting precious recess time okay you know my
Amazing hit song Locker love no nope well I’m making a music video for it tomorrow here where wag staff my dad got permission for us to shoot it in the hallways with the lockers he promised a special thanks to the school and the credits and trust me it’s going to put
Wag staff on the map because this baby is definitely going viral but I need Jean to be in I did ask him a lot he always has a different excuse I’m uh getting my wisdom teeth put back in that day ooh um sorry that’s carrot peeling day it’s a religious thing I’m uh
Washing the dog that day that’s what I call my bottom half why not just get someone else to do it it has to be Jean also I need him to sing the last line of the song no one can harmonize with me the way he can we’re like Simon and
Garfield so you guys are going to help me get jean to say yes but Courtney why would we ever talk our sweet brother into doing something he doesn’t want to do cram Jammers oh that’s right and fudge flings and cinnamony crickets the Holy Trinity of candies we’ve got cases
Of it for the snack table at my video shoot all you have to do is agree to help out on the crew and do some backup dancing and then G want to do the video too yes we will ask Jean a thousand times yes you get jean to do my video
You spend all Saturday swimming in Sugar it’s hard to argue with someone making perfect sense oh I want all of those in my mouth great you work on Gan and I’ll catch up with you after school I can’t believe you just sold your brother out
For candy Tina he’d do the same to us true here you go Burger the day with fries time fries when you’re having fun am I right just kidding can I get you anything else no thank you okay then I’ll be right over here if anything comes up well he’s a chatty Charles who
Sh stiffen the SSH thinks he’s too good to talk to a burger lady with amazing banter I mean your banter is fine plus who is a suit and brings a briefcase to a lunch by themselves um business people what was that he thinks I’m going to steal his briefcase no one wants your
Briefcase buddy yeah no one wants your briefcase okay uh I’m going to go back to the kitchen you two should maybe stop staring at that guy we’re not being obvious so yeah I thought of a new way of laying on the couch while eating chips I was going to test that out what
Are you doing this weekend I’m going to help Courtney with her music video ah you got roped into that huh she’s going to have a snack table full of really good candy so yeah I’m not an idiot oh hey are you guys talking about Courtney’s music video yeah we’re doing
That too you are it’s going to be fun you should do it with us pass why yeah what do you hate candy it’s not just candy you’ll miss out on Jean you’ll be stuck at the restaurant while me Tina and Peter here are going to be having
The time of our lives bonding making inside jokes for example banana I’ll get it yeah no thanks I better get to class otherwise that long division is just going to get longer what the hell yeah he doesn’t care about missing out on candy or inside jokes who is he I tell
You who he’s not he’s not going to be the guy who gets between me and those cram Jammers hell no bye thanks for coming in ha Mr Personality forgot his briefcase he did he’s going to huh he’s gone the guy comes in here eats barely says two words leaves his briefcase and
Poof no way to be seen y doesn’t add up he probably forgot his briefcase because he was distracted by the two totally not creepy people who kept staring at him no that’s not it let me see the briefcase there’s a phone number on here I’ll I’ll
Give him a call his name is Billy bandana what kind of name is Billy bandana suspicious very suspicious sh it’s ringing H it’s a recording saying the number is no longer in service let me see that let’s try and open it what no I really don’t think you should do
That ah it’s locked the plot thickens look he’ll eventually realize he forgot it here and then he’ll come back to pick it up come on Bob a mysterious guy named Billy bandana comes in here and leaves a briefcase and you have no interest in what’s inside yes that is correct who
Are you Billy bandana and what are you trying to tell us oh my God okay so bad news Jean a lawyer delivered this to me to give to you what is it looks like a contract a legit one a hereby promised to be in Courtney’s music video and if
You don’t do it you have to pay $11,000 and then there’s your signature ha this is an obvious forgery I signed my name with a peace sign a yin-yang and four lightning bolts come on Jean just do the music video I told you I don’t want
Anything to do with this song why what is wrong with you we’re talking about all the best candy and we’re talking about tons of it what the video is the song stinks it’s not even good bad it sounds like a million other songs or it’s trying to I still don’t see why
This makes candy not taste good I can’t be a part of it I just can’t and if I tell her any of this it will hurt her feelings jean jean are you in a huddle room for one more sorry Courtney we just de huddled it wasn’t even that good
Trust me so does anyone have any news for me m oh Jean I’m begging you please be in my video tomorrow please okay this sidewalk is hurting my knees tomorrow oh I’m going to Wyoming this weekend apparently there’s a hole in Jackson I’m going to see if I can help Okay no Jean
No video I guess I’ll cancel the shoot I better go tell everyone and return all the candy Jean you are literally taking candy from babies these babies yeah sorry I yelled but yeah too much guil I give up Courtney I’ll be in your video you will great see you all here tomorrow
Afternoon for the shoot and at my house before that for an early lunch SL creative meeting we’re ordering in sandwiches from Grandpa n Grandpa ninis I’ll have the turkey and cheese and tell Grandpa NeNe I want extra pepper on Chey and fried Z Kitt well Janee I think it’s nice you’re
Helping you friend just be careful you don’t steal the show with that cute little tushy of yours what to get out of work nope candy yeah candy yeah no missing work going to be rough I can’t tell if Louise is serious but I’ll actually miss being at work the smells
You guys the smell of you guys what’s in you just checking we don’t normally bring stuff home that people leave in the restaurant do we no Tina we don’t but your mom is convinced that something weird is going on because the man who owns the briefcase ate food quiet L at a
Restaurant and then he left his name is Billy bandana his number’s disconnected it’s weird it is kind of fun to imagine what could be in there human hands from all of his enemies in the briefcase business world oh or a bunch of business bandanas for a working man on the go
Maybe whatever it is it’s packed so tight it doesn’t make a sound like dad’s boobs in that one Sweater hey guys come on in Rupa Julie and Peter Pescadero are already here getting their locker love on yeah we are hi jeane buddy you’re here MH why don’t we duck into my studio and record the last line of the song okay first a quick warm up let’s stretch out that voice
Open pit barbecue sauce now you do it no thanks I’m all warmed up yeah I barbecue saued all the way here now go back I’m dead Jean while you’re still Saucy okay I’ve already recorded a guide track so I’ll just play it back and you sing it exactly the way I did
Okay this might be a shocker but I can’t resist her locker locker love love the not is up here try it love love love love you know what I’ll fix all of this with computer magic okay but not too much computer magic though because then it sounds you know yeah computer magic
Is great okay let’s just do this one word at a time this you do it this this this is killing me hi teddy I had a great idea idea I got this old briefcase from the thrift store oh why I filled it with printer paper six pens a calculator a bunch of
Paper clips a granola bar and a couple of floppy discs just basic business stuff all right okay so I was thinking we lift this briefcase and Billy Bandana’s briefcase and see if they feel the same oh that’s so smart it’s not it is Bob Now where’s his briefcase and
Here you go wow they definitely feel different they do I knew it it’s not normal business stuff in the it’s something else something mysterious and maybe Supernatural definitely let me feel I mean isn’t it more likely he just has a different amount of business stuff in his briefcase because this is the
Least scientific test that anyone’s ever done in history no offense if this was a movie you’d get killed first Bob wait what yeah skeptical guy for your own good you should have trol or like Louise said a bunch of human hands oh human hands that make sense or what we’re all
Thinking plutonium right I wish I hadn’t sold my Geer counter we got to open it no we need to know if there’s plutonium in there there’s no plutonium now that you say it it really does feel like human hands but there’s no blood maybe they’re in baggies no no no oh you’re
Gone Jean good you’re all finished I think we finally landed on some outfits for the video this is mine it’s amazing it’s gorgeous and that’s yours same old thing every hot boy wears in every video great hey what if I’m like a pirate a locker pirate or a nice old nanny who’s
Trying to miss out fire you Jane you’re being silly Jane budy candy fine it’s great the costumes are great yay come on Jean I’ll walk you through the storyboard you know how to do flavor fingers right you mean the dance that everyone has done in every music video
For The Last 5 Years yes does not get old okay so in the beginning we start out with some flavor fingers and then I blow you a kiss ah maybe blow it don’t blow hole it oops sorry my retainer gathers saliva I’ll drain it before I
Blow the kiss great all right come on let’s think why would a guy named Billy bandana pick for a combination probably something really cool like 1999 M nope damn you Billy bandana you guys really if you left your briefcase in a restaurant I would expect them to put it
In a safe place and not mess with it if I locked it I locked it for a reason well what reason is that business Bob yeah what are you hiding business Bob just uh an idea I have that is going to revolutionize the industry I work in all
Carefully typed out on business paper what why are you keeping it in your briefcase keep that in a safe at the office yeah Bob that’s not responsible cuz I was going to submit it to the board at the next big meeting and I hope it’s safe at the restaurant I left it At that’s great people I totally get why everyone does this dance if it ain’t broke don’t fix it okay one more time you’re doing great Jean yeah especially if you don’t look at your face I don’t know if I can take this much longer it’s all so unoriginal just hang in there
Once we get to that shoot we’re in candy City also I think Courtney really needs this and by Courtney I mean me and by this I mean candy ah fine I guess it can’t get any worse okay I finished mixing the song wow it sounds just like every other
Song I love I hate this I hate this I hate this what’ you say Jean nothing I love it I know right I love it too okay let’s go shoot a video yeah oh look at that I guess I could go for a snack I never even thought about eating
Fudge flings and cinnamony crickets in the same bik but since they’re both here I might as well go for it so cute you look like that boy in that one thing like that other boy in that other thing these skinny jeans are too skinny those aren’t skinny jeans Jean they’re slimmy
Jimmy jeans Ah that’s a lot of makeup only in real life it’ll look normal on the screen right Daddy I promise honey I’ve done this before I mean I’ve written Jingles that were used in commercials where actors wear makeup so same thing see well I’m going to grab a
Fudge fling to keep my energy up no candy for us until we’re finished Jean the sugar is bad for our voices but we’re lips syncing it can still affect our performance okay in this first shot Courtney you look longingly at Jean and Jean you lean against the lockers looking gorgeous and unattainable and
Also like I’m cool uh like this cooler like this cooler this wao pull it back funy just kidding that’s perfect Let’s Roll hey there you are everything go okay in there yeah I mean as far as things go it was fine can I um get by you oh am I in
Your way yes you are standing in front of the door oh so I am but hey uh don’t you need to go cook or something it’s Bob’s Burgers not Bob walks through doors right Linda why don’t you want me to go out there come on get like it get
Off Teddy no this is the mine the one that I got at the thrift store I’m just fixing it up make making sure that everything’s good yep all good it says Billy bandana on it oh did I get them mix up how embarrassing come on Bob he’s
Almost got it open and why were you so fast in the bathroom you usually take so long sometimes I’m fast oh really why is this about me Teddy stop you’re going to mess it up I might have messed it up what what well you startled me when you
Barged in and I may have damaged the hinge a little bit a lot Teddy no it’s lind’s fault for being a terrible Lookout don’t blame me blame Bobby quick poops damn it Bobby quick poops oh my God that is so cool yeah it’s so music videoy a it’s like a Frankenstein of
Every other video but less interesting than Frankenstein I can’t take this anymore this is going great what do you think Dad I think this video has to sneeze because it’s going to go viral yes okay okay everyone let’s set up for the last shot Gan and I do the flavor
Fingers and harmonizes while everyone flavor fingers behind us let’s do this I am pumped yes yes yes ready for this Jean you feeling it buddy ow sor so much sugar let’s just do it fast that’s the spirit budny W I’m having trouble getting this one hinge back on Bobby well try harder
Teddy I must have stripped the screw you really shouldn’t scare people like that you know p through your belongings or the restaurant where they found all those hands Don’t Panic Bob I just got to give this little great oh no well we might as well
Take a peek since the hinge fell off it didn’t fall off Teddy PRI it up stop it l I can almost see what’s in what’s inside stop pulling it apart you’ll pop the lock off the front We’re In Too Deep what the walnuts walnuts let me see
There’s got to be something else in there nope just one more Walnut huh so it isn’t a plutonium thing or a hand killer thing just a man who really enjoys his nuts well you were right Bob nothing dark or mysterious here are you kidding this is terrifying who would
Carry a lock briefcase with nothing in it but walnuts Maybe maybe he’s a walnut salesman and these were samples you ever think of that this guy is definitely a serial killer seems a little farfetched Bob it’s just walnuts TDY quick can you fix this I think I got some screws in my
Truck I’ll go look don’t eat them and action does he know that it’s where I do my combination 16 left 19 right kiss my heart this goes against everything you believe in you’ll be in this video for and it’s really very bad for not me good
Stuff I can’t do that cut sure you were a little out of Step but it wasn’t that bad it’s finger flavor step and finger flavor step not finger step flavor step not that this this is awful what this song this video all of it what the fudge Jean um 15minute crew
Break anyone up for some cram Jammers Me Courtney honey court court so that was a little really harsh it’s just I can’t believe how bad this all is I think everything’s been amazing I feel like I could rip the lockers off the wall but I mean Jean Courtney is your friend right yeah and doing this video
Makes her happy right somehow well sometimes you do things you might not really like for people you do like because they like it and it makes them happy yeah like when Tina and I play fossil friends with you what you don’t like burying the bones after we have chicken and then pretending we’re
Finding fossils I mean it’s fine it’s a little nasty I guess I see your point about Courtney not the chicken bones we’re still doing that I can’t find Courtney anywhere let’s all split up and look for her on it you better hope we can find her and finish this Jean or
Should I say mean Jean because you’re mean I think I know where she is I got all the walnuts tape was a bad idea oh my God he’s here that’s him he’s coming in what up briefcase back in the booth oh my God it’s going to kill us calm
Down Bob act natural I’m just a guy enjoying a joke well I got to go bye what never mind I’ll stay and everything’s fine this is a restaurant hi welcome to Bobbers what can I get you I don’t know if you remember me I was in here
Yesterday and I think I may have left my briefcase huh doesn’t ring a bell there it is oh that briefcase uh hey um I tried calling the number on that was on the briefcase but it was no longer in service so you know no no reason to be
Upset with us it looks a little different does it oh well a bunch of kids were in here earlier Rowdy teens some of them were using curse words they were duct tape and everything well looks like they got your briefcase you know teens in the duct tape God oh yeah they
They they they did get a little on there yeah what was that what was what that crackling noise sounded like you stepped on a a walnut maybe um I wouldn’t know what that would sound like would you no okay then yeah wait nobody has any more questions no I’m
Good know what’s going on with the walnuts I think that’s for the best I feel like we were just in the presence of death a bob do you need a hug sweetie no okay yeah maybe I do there there everyone’s safe now I can go for one of those oh um
Okay oh Courtney Courtney no come on Courtney let me talk to you how did you know I was here you always say this is where you wish you lived so that you’d always sound amazing yes the Acoustics I think Dolly Parton records all her songs and slides that’s why she has an
Amusement park I guess it makes sense that youd don’t I’d be here because we used to be friends and all we are friends Courtney and I’m sorry for what I said it’s just your song is not quite my cup of tea I like tea that doesn’t you know taste like everyone else’s tea
But you like tea that’s like the most number one selling tea you’re talking about tea a lot are you thirsty a little but what I should have realized is you do like that kind of tea it makes you happy and I want you to be happy and
Yeah what do you say we go finish this mama jama thanks Jean is my makeup streaking no maybe you should get a little touchup on the face part this might be a shock but I can’t resist her locker I’m back so guess who I ran into to at the grocery store Terry grocery no I saw a mom from school oh wow I haven’t seen her in a while and I really like her who was it oh I don’t know a name anyway her family just got back from this big
Summer trip they did all this fun family bonding stuff zipline got braids in their hair played with a monkey wait so some families go on vacation in the summer they don’t spend it working in a hot Slap Shop together yeah why don’t we go anywhere in the summer is it because
You need to have money and that’s not exactly our thing correct but who wants to go places when you can have great childhoods here this is fun right this thing I’m doing with the salt huh maybe we can’t afford not to take a trip once
In a while and this weekend is the last weekend of Summer right but Labor Day weekend it’s going to be pretty busy around here oh come on Bob I just want to poke around online see if there’s anything for one night only and cheap maybe don’t search those exact words
Right good point I like how this movie is 80% explosions and 20% life affirming wisdom I I’ve got some exciting I just found our one night end of summer super cheap family summer trip oh wow Lakeside Cabin uh-huh can we use those canoes yes there are canoes a rope swing over the
Water go on a floating platform in the middle of the lake to lay on I like laying also lounging a grill to enjoy meals outside and the closest neighbors a half a mile away I love grilling outside and I hate people I mean being near people and there’s a fire pit we
Can sit around at night can catch up on each other’s lives laugh cry and just B the crap out of each other um is that TV logo wearing a fun red sash uh I think it means the cabin doesn’t have a TV what no that’s crazy probably means
There’s only one TV that is a line through a TV that means no TV oh well no TV is a good thing you got to pay extra for no TV in some places uh that’s a line through an electrical plug oh my God does this cabin have no power um
Well now we know why this place was so cheap mom found a medieval torture cabin okay maybe I didn’t read the description but we’re going to be together breathing the fresh air drinking the fresh water it’s B Y O DW bring your own drinking water oh my God tap water is nonpotable
Well water pable I think it’s pable people we can live without water but no TV that will kill us listen if you’d rather sit on the family could use a little trip in some special time together okay let’s do it great but can you see more excited when you say that
Oh let’s do it yay family weekend in a cabin Yay I’m not feeling so good about this well I’m feeling great about this me too plus it’s battery powered it should get to see the world okay we all know our job tomorrow good luck don’t get caught everybody kiss the TV good night
Dusty hi I’m here to pick up a key for a cabin I’m renting oh sure Mr Collins told me you’d be coming by well this is a nice little system the owner leaving the key and this quaint little gas station and fun for you right oh yeah
It’s a hoot what can I do for you Henry I need some more bug spray they’re bad by my place e sorry what bit you you’re not from around here she’s renting the Collins cabin oh well nip and nans are what bit me nipp and why nipp and nans
We got a lot of them up here they usually aren’t biting this time of year but I guess they’re doing their nipping early it was real still then Wham the wind shifted and a big swarm of those suckers just appeared as if out of nowhere so they’re like mosquitoes if
Only they’re like if mosquitoes were meaner like no it’s more like yeah that’s it she’s better at doing the sound um you know what I’ll take a can of spray just in case and those mints oh and that gum oh and that gum what’ you buy vinc and gum give me
Givee give me got some bug repelling too oh good idea yeah guess there’s some weird local bug that bites you in your windpipe did you say windpipe I don’t know something like that you want a mint yes I want a mint we want you to have one we’re almost at the
Cabin oh there’s the lake there’s the floating platform can’t wait to jump off for that get wedgie that’s summer warning risk of Gardia remains High who the hell is Gardia is she a cousin of Narnia Jia is a bacteria or a parasite I just know that it gives
You really really bad diarrhea as opposed to really good diarrhea so the lake is officially off limits no Lake on a lake trip what are we going to do all weekend here other stuff fun stuff like like looking at the lake and smelling the lake oh yeah you can smell the jaria
From here yep yep yep should we go check out the cabin now that was nonrefundable so is that it yeah that must be it maybe it’s tiny from the outside but inside it’s really big nope tiny in there too musty let’s get these windows open we’re roughing it huh it’s fun it’s fun
S to it a closet interesting hey Tina this is a good place to put the box of pillows and extra water oh um good idea you guys were so nice carrying that stuff to the car from the car and you packed it yep I just smelled a smell of
A thousand dead poopes did you hold it in for that long I told you to stop doing that that wasn’t my smell when I flushed the toilet it was like I opened a portal to a another dimension a FAL Dimension so that’s a fun new thing
Maybe we should check it out yeah do that Jean want to come into the closet with us in the hello box oh coming why isn’t it turning on you put the batteries in right Tina yep 6D batteries I haven’t seen 6ds since my last report card um Tino where did you get these
From the bag of batteries in the hall closet that’s the dead battery bag what mom keeps the Good batteries in her nightstand why do we have a bag of dead batteries cuz Mom says there’s a special way to dispose of them but she never found out what it was and if we’re being
Honest I don’t think she ever will Tina I made the decoy TV out of a shoe box Jean swapped the pillows out for the TV you were on batteries I’m sorry but it’s not my fault or battery Situation’s a mess great I guess this is a bus like
Everything else in this cabin well it seems like that is just how the bathroom is going to be okay so we have to smell everyone else’s poop who stayed here for the last oh at this point I’ll take anything where’s the on button well it looks like an emergency r you turn that
Crank to power it up I got to work for my music fine this Woods music is weird that’s static alert the rim pass will remain closed due to high wind I think emergency radios only get the weather B okay let’s get outside and start having some fun huh the forest service advises
Staying indoors oh wait hang on there’s some sort of advis infestation infestation winds will bring swarms into the Mountain Grove forest uh isn’t that where we are mountain something and is that the same bug you were talking about in the car with with the wind pipe oh
Yeah nip inevitable come on don’t let a few bugs ruin our weekend we’re bigger than them is that sound coming from the radio that’s not static up up oh they have a cbook that’s a nice touch ow I’m under attack they’re coming through the Gap under the door ah kill
Them kill them all Tina you’re going to use all the spray plus it’s repellent to spray on us not on them so we spray ourselves and roll on the bugs stop take we can seal the Gap there no more nipping neans we’re good now explore the
Cabin oh look at that look at the word ly um can I talk to you in private for a second I think maybe we should leave and go home like right now seriously sorry that was Private Oh Come come on it’s just a swarm of bugs it’ll move on it’s
What swarms do then we can go back outside uh Lynn we can’t even go in the lake because of the diarrhea water also the food in the cooler might spoil cuz it’s 100° in here it’s not 100° Bob it’s 82° what wait now it’s 83 well sweat’s
Good for you makes you shiny we’re not going to let freaky flies and Gard ruin our summer trip we could uh play a game dominoes does anyone know how to play do we just throw them at each other I’ll go first yeah that seems great uh
Nipping I think it came up through the sink Tina stop duct tape Bob grab the duct tape here come on Tina there was no bug I made it up to distract mom and dad really oh okay few listen mom’s going to make us spend the night here in the
Sweaty bug box so we got to find a way to power this baby up otherwise I don’t know if I’m going to make it we could wait for lightning it worked for Ben Franklin and Frankenstein ooh Halloween idea Ben franklinstein what are you all doing in here at the same time oh hey
Dad wait is that the part of you smuggled our TV here maybe how inside the box of pillows and extra water wait so we don’t have any pillows and extra water we have that one bottle of water and we have TV kids you shouldn’t have done that plus can you even get new
Reception we can’t power it on because someone brought six dead D batteries instead of alive ones we don’t have to talk about who wait are we not in trouble I mean your mom will be mad at you you if she finds out and then I’ll be mad at you uh also because
Technically this is wrong technically the whole trip is wrong huh I think the camping lantern takes 60 batteries forget I said that yes I like the new guy no no no no no no no we shouldn’t we really shouldn’t but if we watch TV while Mom’s asleep then it’s not like
We’re doing anything wrong right that’s interesting but still I’m with your mom on this so we probably shouldn’t sounded like a yes to me loving the new guys no no no TV oh hey ly how how is it going over there pretty good uh the sink was
Wet and the tape wouldn’t stick so I had to improvise and we can’t use the sink anymore but that’s okay ah camping lantern Works going to put it right over here conveniently located right by the closet it’s fine where it was it’s just we useful over here so should we do
Dominoes or or I think we might have cards or or play charades or or guess each other’s birthdays yeah whatever ends this day the fastest let’s do dominoes we can figure out how to play these so I buil a little house does anyone have a better house than me go
Fish need television I think I’m dying me too everyone looks like a TV to me right now what was that kids nothing should we start making dinner keep things moving here or how about we get a fire going in this Sky that’s cabiny oh God please no it might be a little warm
For a fire right right well I don’t even mind that we can’t go outside to use the grill I think this food’s better if you don’t cook it yeah and it’ll be fun to bring the steak back home I think it’ll taste great after sitting in the look
Cooler for a few days and the zucchini M so Raw it’s emotionally raw and ketchup’s still ketchup yeah right pass me some of that it’s your big day ketchup you’re an entree now I’m going to go check on the pillows all right no it’s way too soon for pillows no yeah
And then one of you guys can go in there after me and you know he check on them too no no no no no why don’t you check on the pillows later closer to or after bedtime Louise uh or not at all no it’s okay I’m just going to bring this so I
Can see if the pillows are working m- it’s fine so quick so quiet see you in half an hour ketchup tastes even better in the woods right those pillars are pretty good they’re making me laugh with the situations they got themselves into well now I should see what those pillows
Are getting up to it sounds delightful I want to see I don’t think you’ll like it that muchir taste Jane kids no more pillows right now you know what I think we’re all just tired we’re snapping at each other should we start setting up for night night what no it’s early I
Could go night night yeah that ketchup is catching up to me okay I guess it must be all the fresh air right I don’t feel great about this I’m trying not to think about it TV is definitely helping hey Mom knew who you were when she married you you’re a
Television Enthusiast I am what the surprise happy birthday that was a long hide and seek what is this oh look there’s a TV in here didn’t even notice I can’t believe I just caught you guys doing this do you think she bought that you snuck our TV into our TV free
Family bonding weekend we’re supposed to be talking and sharing and having fun cabin experiences that bring us closer together as a family I mean watching TV together is sort of family bonding we were all feeling really close to each other other in there and not just
Because we were all smooshed in a small closet and you Bob come on I’m sorry I tried to stop them but then I guess I missed TV to this place you’re right it has been a disaster the Gardia the nipp and nans no power no water the portal to
Hell that opens every time someone flushes the toilet yeah I saw those things I just wanted a chance for us to get away which we never do and just enjoy each other well it’s kind of hard when we’re all sitting around on sweaty butt cracks yeah fine you win I give up
Watch TV if you want we’ll leave first thing in the morning yeah okay Lyn we don’t have to no s we’ll leave I’m just going to get some sleep G these pillars are filled with mulch or something where are the pillars we brought oh right sorry Sorry please morning Linda stupid so are we still going to pack up and leave this really fun place yeah yeah I just want to do one outdoor thing first you said we could go I want to take a canoe out to the floating platform the
One in the lake mhm yep where all the jaria is and the bugs I’ll be in a canoe I’ll be fine and I’m spraying down okay my left arm will be fine sorry I uh went a little wild spraying that stuff now I see how it works for next
Time all right I’m going and if you don’t want to C down I love you mother but hell no whatever you can stay here and pack ly sh F sh who who easy girl easy canoe H see this is wonderful closed for vacation back tomorrow Bob and Linda didn’t tell me
They were taking a trip wow okay so we’re not telling each other things anymore fine we’ll see how you like it when I don’t tell you about the cloud I saw that looked like my truck I thought we were friends he hey hey know what else I don’t want the key to your
Apartment anymore yeah I don’t want the key to your apartment since we’re not close enough for you to tell me that you’re going on a vacation Teddy we know how you don’t like when we leave so we texted you but we didn’t hear back text I didn’t get a
Oh look at that we took a last minute trip but we made you a burger and we put it in the fridge in our apart use the key we gave you that one time that you never gave back to let yourself in oh my God the key no the key no no
Hello Hi how are you long weekend huh okay there’s a little bit of water coming in here little Gia too sure it’s fine I’m almost there bugs are clearing up guess the wind is blowing them off the stinky Blake hi hello platform I made it this is nice FL in here this is
All I wanted for us I told you dumb family so tired did not get allow of sleep maybe I’ll just close my eyes for a second how does it look out there a lot of nens just got to wait for an opening and I’ll run these bags to the car okay I’m
Going no no not an opening so maybe a little will we wait for Mom uh yeah I I I guess but pretend I’m still a good parent we always pretend that wonder how mom is hope she’s enjoying the platform by herself and I hope the platform is
Enjoying her it’s lucky to have her guys let’s all just watch TV and not think about how we’ve let Mom down and how we’re a huge disappointment as a family she just wanted to do something special together and we barely even tried you know what I’m going to go out there
Through a swarm of angry fighting bugs and join her on the jaria platform because I guess that’s what I should do and I I you know I want to do sort of oh right it’s empty I’m coming too pass the can what the hell I’m in and I’m going
To say the whole thing was my idea how about this heat why what who who’s that me the nipp and nean I’m right over here I’m waving oh oh yeah you’re not looking at me here look I’m doing the MC Hammer dance do You See Me
Now oh yeah yeah yeah yeah so what’s going on you going to bite me H I’m good I’ll probably let my kids do it oh you have kids yep that’s nice sometimes well don’t take this the wrong way but your family kind of ruined my family’s little
Trip um we live here so oh right it’s just my family never gets to go away on trips we just stay in our apartment and work in the restaurant all day the other mom was talking about how how great her trip was and how close her family is oh
Are you guys not close no no we’re close we’re super close listen can I tell you something sure bug mom just because your family ecosystem isn’t like some other family’s ecosystem doesn’t mean it’s not healthy huh yeah maybe you’re right also you need to wake up now I do you do the
Wind changed and we’re hungry and your skin is our food so oh but we’re friends now m you better wake up oh god oh oh get it off ow oh I got to get back oh oh no oh it sunk I’ll just pull this no no no no oh boy looks like I’m
Swimming back to shore okay I’ve gotten diarrhea doing Dum stuff than this G water here I come one two job oh you came we sorry we didn’t come with you no I’m sorry I dragged us out here in the first place where’s your canoe it’s
Saying of course it did and I had a dream and a bug told me not to listen to what’s her name at the grocery store and we’re doing great and our ecosystem’s doing great sorry Mom uh love the dream but can we go now please yep yep yep
Okay let’s get out of this hell hole go go go go is the car packed car’s packed keys keys keys hurry before they figure out how to cut our brakes bye-bye bu oh no we forgot to sign the guest book is it rude to not sign the guest
Book oh well uh we’ll leave a comment on the website like a middle finger emoji no something like smells like a poop tornado the entire lake is a health hazard but the group I was with made it all worthwhile uh I think we forgot the TV we’re going back yep we’re coming for
You sweet Baby Got to read got to read got to read got to read got to read got to read got to read got to read wow I feel the exact opposite way why are you saying that book report I wrote the due date on my arm so I would remember then every day
Since then I’ve taken a shower like an idiot when’s it due tomorrow what page are you on the cover Call of the Wild is it about an insane telemarketer or Jean in the bathroom I don’t know yet hey kids oh Bob this package came for you earlier
When you were putting out that grease fire see that’s why I hate school we miss all the grease fires I wasn’t expecting anything oh oh yeah I remember ordering this what the hell is that I bought a remote control version of the helicopter from the movie True Lies
Complete with a clutching our old Schwarzenegger and dangling Jam Lee Curtis h Huh H what a be were you drunk shopping no I I call it nighttime shopping with wine I bid on an auction and uh yeah helicopter mhm F you bastard F hold on Jam Lee I
Got you I’ll save you from Tia Carrera I think I forgot the scene hey when does Mama get a I think I’m really good at this this could be like my new thing dad you don’t want to be like too cool Hello boots hanging like you do
Every day give jeez Lynn all right let me just bring it in for a landing you can’t pull off that look buddy it’s not you gentle gentle and and kiss the ground oh what the hell how did that happen I landed it perfectly well that a good run of one
That thing is a piece of crap I’m getting my money back t t well maybe it’s okay see oh no it’s dead squir squir squirrel thanks Dad I hate getting hit on the head by boots you’re welcome Tina should we throw them back up I kind of
Feel bad they’ve been there for so long look out Tina I just froze and following a skillful Landing it broke into a million pieces please issue me a full refund of $45 plus shipping and send that thing was 45 bucks plus shipping which was also 45 bucks the hell ah what’s wrong
With me I just watched everything happen the squirrel the boots and I did nothing hey what’s all be I’m not heroic like Arnold Schwarzenegger in True Lies I’m not even Tom Arnold in True Lies or even in Roseanne come on Jean don’t worry about it that was just part of being a
Dad you’ll have those instincts someday but what if I never get those instincts maybe I’ll just grow up to be a very handsome coward dad you save Tina you’re a heroic Man of Action I can learn from you Jan I I think you’re blowing this out of proportion though I did react
With a certain amount of Grace Under Pressure what the hell sorry I don’t give refunds for crash Landings hella floter all right new plan his number’s on the website I’m calling this guy he’s doing it he’s man of actioning which I call actioning hello is this Sheldon
Felds this is Bob that’s it Dad give it to him no not Bob the crash Lander it kissed the ground Sheldon kissed it maybe I should have just bought it from the hobby hole a real store hobby hole well how about I just come on down and
Demand my money back yeah your address is right on the package so see you soon Sheldon oh and also your handwriting is not very good nice one dad Bob don’t you think maybe you should just let this go you know how you get you start saying it’s the princi princip of it the
Princip there it is wait how did you know I was going to say that I’ve never said that right yeah right it’s the principle of the thing sir it’s the principle principal oh well it is things are pretty loud so I’m just going to put
My fingers in my ears wa that’s waxy am I shouting I’m going over there I’m going too no you’re not Jean it’s a school night this is my school now Mom the School of Hard dads so just call me a little hard Dad yeah but no not that
But yes he should come if Jean wants to learn to be a man of action this is taking action okay bye come on Jean let’s go get our refund refund road trip I forgot my keys yeah he did deal with it deal with it
Yeah look at us just a boy and his dad driving to get a refund oh I got chills just saying it Well jean it’s wait wait wait wait don’t talk yet I want to sample what you say and play it over and over until I’ve got heroic instincts
Coming out of every orifice of my body okay uh it’s not about being a hero Gene it’s about doing what’s right Papa do preach and it is our duty to mankind really to fight for justice some people say you have to learn to let things go
Well you know what happens when you let things go what what happens you drop the thing you’re holding Jean and the thing I’m holding in this situation is this bag of crap nice listen to this it’s about doing what’s right wow I sound important powerful maybe take out the
Fart noise no it kind of makes you go like huh Mom Mom look what I do it’s me when I’m growing up eating tacos with my monkey Sheila great honey yeah how’s the reading coming Tina oh good really really really good good okay fine it’s going terrible I’m a slow reader and
Then I get to a comment I’m like oh I guess they want me to pause but for how long how do I know when to stop pausing I’m never going to finish this book and I’m going to have to stand up there with the whole class staring at me and my
Armpits are going to sweat and my boobies are going to sweat and all the sweats going to me in the middle and everyone’s going to know I didn’t read that book Thank you Tina Tina honey listen I’m going to let you in on a little secret okay I didn’t read any of
The books I did reports on in school what oh yeah I’ve never read the book Louise what you never read the book well I mean you should read the book it’s it’s better to read the book we never read the book how can you do a book
Report if you haven’t read the book you just got to give him a little show pz so they don’t even notice that you didn’t you know what pizaz that’s up my alley I once did a presentation on Catcher in the Rye with only a catch’s mask and a
Loaf of rye bread now that one I failed cuz I didn’t back cover it back cover it oh my God Mom let me slap her again no it’s okay don’t slap her again Tina’s learning see Tina you can’t judge a book by its cover but you can judge it by its
Back cover mhm uh-huh wait I don’t get it all right let me see let me see here dog named Buck stolen from his home forced to live as a sled dog in the cold unforgiving Klondike region oh my gosh I’m getting so many ideas already musical numbers choreography musical
Numbers Louise you go watch your face we got a shout it to S felds this is it let’s give him hell hello Sheldon it’s Bob go away okay bye no Jean come back right right little hard Dad we’re not leaving Sheldon not until we get our money back for this
Defective helicopter so do the right thing and give us a refund well put yep you don’t get it do you Bob Sheldon felds doesn’t give refunds to Hell flops who crash on their first flight stop calling me a hopter we don’t care how fun it is to say you see I only sell
Those novelty toys to make ‘s meat my real passion is customizing serious RC Choppers well what is that this is my quad I’ve made a few modifications for poking purposes it’s dumb poke hey tickle tickle tap tap stop stop that miss me hey there’s something on your shirt get
Your nose quit it so shall I continue to master flee poke you or do you want to run along home the ladder good day sir no we’re not going anywhere okay then shoot yourself Bob wet wiie how is that wet oh she looks great you look great
Hun maybe the best she’s ever looked give us a twirl see that tail real construction paper stunning thank you wag it a little honey will you wag it wag it shake it shake it that a girl all right so let the Call of the Wild book
Report rehearsal be G on girl okay ring ring who’s this call calling on the phone it’s the wild is anybody home great lyrics mom I know but you got to Belt it honey let your voice do the reading that your eyes didn’t do that makes total sense uh-huh so can you do
It with vibr like this W wild wild no that’s not okay you know what try grabbing the skin on your throat and moving it around while you sing like this like this uh no let me try let me try gentle gentle sorry sorry sorry uh maybe I should just transfer to St
Matthews what you think those nuns won’t make you do book reports people never stop making you read books Tina it’s a sick world you got to learn how to phazz it trust me after tonight you won’t ever have to read a book again I love you mom
So Jean I know it seems like we’re hiding from Sheldon’s helicopter in a dumpster very much so but we’re actually just regrouping and now I will calmly check outside oh thank God’s gone I mean regroup over uh we can get out now we don’t have to get out on my account I’m
In my Element no we are going to show Sheldon that we’re still here and we’ll never give up whoa who what’s that fish in the sky this was in Revelations K camon was right you’re done hiding Bob we’re not hiding Sheldon we were regrouping swim your gently floating
Fish don’t scare me Sheldon they’re actually kind of pretty it’s a lot like snorkeling which I’ve never done but I imagine I would love it ow ow dad you’re shooting at me a that one hit me in the nipple that’s his good nipple my good nipple is bleeding are we done here Bob
You lose I win also I have a couple frozen pizzas in the oven so I’m ready to wrap this up no we’re not done we’re not no two can play the game of having a helicopter that shoots stuff Jean two can play WoW you sound really tough even
Though you’re holding your nipples This Is War Sheldon welcome to the Hobby hole I’m Terry how can I help you hi uh weird question did do you by any chance have any RC helicopters capable of actual Warfare oh we don’t have anything like that sir follow
Me welcome to the world of RC helicopter Warfare wa I was hoping that would get a wo we have to be pretty discreet about our Warfare showroom as you can imagine but Neo huh Sky assassin that sounds brutal war is brutal of course we advise you absolutely do not aim these at
People and yes you hate them oh now I need to know what kind of element we’re dealing with here well it’s this guy who sold me a helicopter online Sheldon felds away from Sheldon felds wait you know him he used to work here he was fired why let’s just say Sheldon ate a
Lot of food out of the fridge in the break room that didn’t belong to him and was clearly labeled and when me and the rest of the hobby hole guys decided to gently approach him about it he attacked us with helicopters you see this one of Sheldon’s BB’s got lodged in there and
Now I no longer feel comfortable wearing shorts no oh trust me you don’t want to go up against Sheldon well I am going up against Sheldon he’s at a whole other level but I’ve got rightness on my side oh you’ve got rightness on your side okay then you’re good really you think
So no but I just realized why am I trying to stop you I make commission on these so let’s get you all set up Behold The vanquisher W yeah she’s expensive how expensive $300 that’s not much but with that Missile Range she’s worth it $300 of money it’s not about the money
Gina it’s about the principal yeah it’s about the principal Terry please teach me how to fly it huh it’s actually pretty uh intuitive yep I probably don’t need to be holding you like this no it helped you know before I let you go good luck out there
Buddy thanks okay well thanks for coming in there you go Mama’s old tap shoes how do they feel a little loose but um why am I wearing these because nothing’s more distracting than tap dancing and a tap and a tap and a tap tap tap and a
Tap and we’re tapping and we’re spinning and we’re spinning and we’re tapping shimmy tap shimmy tap wait hold on scoy tap Scooby wiggle tap a jiggle tap and a sh da sh da scooo and no one’s even looking at you what you didn’t do and a
Scaba doba scaba scab day and the book reports so B and you got yourself in a ah maybe B minus probably in my experience you know hey how’s it tabing great she’s like a jazzy Jackhammer watch out FL oh yeah so I borrowed Teddy’s wheelbarrow and I made it look
Like a dog sled and the only thing is he said he wants to be in your book report so I told him I’d pull some strings get him a small part and anyway he’s going to meet you at school tomorrow you can work it out then okay cool is that cool
Very cool you could tap with a wheelbarrow tied around you right hun uh got to get up higher somehow so I can see onto a stupid balcony oh I’ll just climb up on that roof uh sure that seems like a good idea of of something dangerous to do Jean you stay down there
Yep no problem H you’re back yeah I’m back and I’m armed with righteousness and this the vanquisher I see yeah go inside Sheldon to get your checkbook like her I call her the vanquisher I got it from the hobby hole and then I added the extra that’s hard to say no it’s not
You just slow down on the second ER vanquisher look the point is it vanquishes vanquishers well not if I Vanquish it first are you suggesting an air battle perfect Air Battle I’m going to make your precious helicopter look like the piece of crap True Lies one you
Sold me but first can I shoot you with a missile in your nipple I was really excited about it let me think no air battle all right fine on three one not to interrupt but is this the best way to solve this just asking yes Two I’m taking you down Sheldon you’re going to regret the day you oh my God you just hit me me those quick time for the death blow not the death blow H what Terry me and the hobby hole boys thought you could use a little help
We did inventory and then we came right over join the battle brothers my favorite things were eating lunch and wearing shorts Sheldon and you took it all away now it’s time to pay the price I didn’t eat your delicious roast beef and cheddar sandwich Terry but your Chopper’s going to eat This RC net attack this one’s for Jam Lee who who oh oh my no dad you’re on a Ledge yeah but we won the air battle yeah how Sheldon’s expression Jin is he sad is he crying no he’s eating something and he’s got a new helicopter and it’s pointing at H
You and there’s a dart in your butt father everything’s fine Jean I’ve got everything under control ow gotcha are you sure yep oh my butt who uh Bob should we get you a ladder or something no Terry take down Sheldon hobby hole boys give him everything you
Got what wait Dad what about the ladder that seems like a pretty good idea I mean you’re on a Ledge and you’ve got a butt want dirts yes but I also have a butt full of principles so yeah you guys defeat Sheldon and I’ll just work on my upper
Body strength do some pull-ups and I’ll be out of here in no time I can’t do even one you’re incredible Bob time for the sky sassin luckily I have my sky sassin assin I’ll go get it well I’ll wait for you what is wrong with you
Jav up here in the clondike it can get pretty cold yeah the dogs are look and fierce so it’s time to get B oh well better answer that phone cuz it’s the call of the world woo yes that moved me so yeah you just do that and no one will even know
You didn’t read it or I could just do it yeah no no you should do it you should do it it’s your thing you do it right right I can’t I can’t do it no no no you’ll be fine yeah just remember all the steps got memorize all the lyrics
And don’t mess it up boom okay I’m I’m I’m going to go to bed everything’s going to be fine okay good night yeah get your beauty sleep oh your wheelbarrow hun you might want to ah she’s fine she’s got this we did good today Mom we did good we did yeah hey
You want me to teach you how to get out of a speeding ticket yes Sky sassin destroy them Terry and I didn’t catch all of your names but you guys destroy them too oh that’s Vance and that’s will hey hey hey Dad remember this some people say you have to learn to let
Things go I I know you don’t agree with them but I’m starting to think maybe some people are right listen here it is high pitched like a little girl some people say you have to learn to let things go here it is super super deep
Like a monster I have to learn to let things go here it is with a bead under it you have to learn to let things go no matter how I play it back keyboard dad sounds a lot smarter than hanging from the building dad I like the one with the
Beat turn to be a heroic Man of Action but look at you you’re all nuts is anything worth all of this I mean Terry I’m sorry you can’t wear shorts I would be devastated myself but still also just go to a doctor maybe sometimes the more
Heroic thing is to just let it the freak go now who’s going to be the bigger man here and just let it go I I don’t need a refund refund no I said it first I said it first I’m the bigger man no I am Sheldon I’m sorry we
Ganged up on you about the food thing I’m sorry I ganged up on all your food well I forgive you thank you can I have my job back no you you can it’s not up to me remember Roger he’s in charge of it now can you believe it can someone
Just get a lad already you know Jean in your own way you kind of ended up saving the day today oh thank God you finally said it the whole car Riot I was like do I say it no you should be the one to say it
I’m not going to say it well I’m saying it so thanks huh today started with me wanting to learn from you but then you learn from me does that make me your dad now no do you want to switch for a while I could take Mondays let’s keep it like
This for now well you’re still my hero dad you’re mine too Jean now how about we go inside and Ice my butt I wonder how many other dads are saying that to their sons right now I bet a lot and that’s why it truly was like a tow of
Two Cities but I feel like maybe next time folks like a yogurt chop where cool teens work I want to work there thank you okay Joselyn Tina you’re up hi hi everyone good job JN thank you ring ring ring what did she just say it’s the Call of the Wild I can’t
Take it I can’t take it wow Tina that was uh did you all see that that was um I’m sorry amazing you just embodied all the themes of the book The iism bucks returned to his Savage nature the sweating great job she’s really good that was really good well I
Definitely read the book so thank you huh she changed some things but uh she still nailed it she totally nailed it so say it po no say it you win best parent of the week yes yes me I thought I won best parent of the week wait how did
Your kids get out of class hey don’t worry about it did I miss it Peter did I miss it Ah H looks like Jimmy Pesto’s big Super Bowl weekend is starting early no no no higher every year it starts earlier and earlier like ant season under Jean’s bed I’m having my own Super Bowl blowout this year I’m in all of my BMS until halftime when I will make a super bowel
Jane Can’t Hold You poops in all right you got to set them free well they go down the Sue and they find their families they’re happy I’m their family I raised them hey you know what we should do our own Super Bowl promotion you know for people who want the option
To have good food great idea dad we can have people over and order a bunch of Thai what no Tina I’m talking about our food oh right that’ll work too H what’s that jerk up to what do you want Jimmy hey saw your little sign what are you going to do
Listen to the game on the radio and then go out and tell everybody what happened come on what are you talking about you don’t have a TV see how we do it’s right there right there where I don’t where oh yeah little fella yeah and it has good
Horizontal holes sh how old is that thing the players are all going to have English accents out of here Jimmy yeah it’s no wonder every year my place is packed for the game while you serve two customers he’s talking about us look alive Mort oh yeah well well we have our
Own Super Bowl idea Jimmy yeah is it my super bowel bigger impossible our idea is going to get us more business on Sunday than you yeah that’s right yeah you go dad our place will be packed and yours will be empty like tr’s Soul wa I’m sorry yeah it’s cute that you think
That Bob almost as cute as your little cooking booties they happen to be clogs Jimmy yeah we go back to Holland you windmill he’s not a Wind Mill you’ll see Jimmy my idea is going to destroy you Monday morning you’re going to be like what the hell happened and I’m going to
Be like Bob’s idea happened so what do you got Bob I got nothing ahuh nuts no dad we’ve got nothing thanks Tina here’s something it’s a grocery list hry back and I’ll make zucchini and weenie paninis you love them yay yay what am I going to do to bring in
More business can’t let pesto win again I have an idea what is it zucchini you could kill Jimmy pesto yeah I could kill him yeah kill him today with me shove me down his throat that’s a great idea no one is a perfect murder let’s open that truck
Or what nothing forget it just go back local Super Bowl commercial is only $3,000 we can afford it barely I don’t know Bob we’d have to empty almost all our savings what if it doesn’t work it will work when everyone in the by County area sees our commercial they’ll come to
Our restaurant I didn’t know our County was by good for us I’m telling you Lynn we’ll make that money back and then some this is just about you wanting to one up Jimmy pesto no Lynn the fact that our commercial will play on all of Jimmy Pesto’s stupid 18 televisions during the
Game has nothing to do with it this is about growing our family business we’ll get so big we’ll run Mort off his land and take his goats we’ll get so rich we’ll never be happy again $3,000 is a lot of money Bobby but a Super Bowl commercial is a game changer Lynn and
It’ll be fun no we’ll put the whole family in it no I don’t think so you could sing a song Let’s Do It the belchers are making a commercial a family commercial finally people have a reason to watch the Super Bowl this is an impressive savings account here and then here’s yours see
The difference yes good planning careful saving no apparent plan small random deposits yes I I uh I get it something nothing okay you’ve made your point good I mean I shouldn’t even be showing you this other account but I couldn’t think of another way to try to help you well
Actually it’s kind of hurtful oh oh yes I’m I’m basically emptying our account but be back in here in no time depositing twice as much oh that’ll be fun I’ll have our vault enlarged okay uh financing is in place now we just need a $3,000 idea for the
Family commercial so uh let’s do it what do we got Bobby I know a guy who used to be in the NFL I bet you could get him really that could be great I don’t know celebrity endorsement sounds a little hoyy toyy yeah that might be a little
Slick for us it’s something pesto would do we’ll keep it simple just the food and the family how about a slogan uh where’s the burger between Bob’s buns hm um well not that how about this Bob’s Burgers like a beef in the night no you
Can be the joint beefs of staff I don’t think so um how about uh I beef you beef we’ll all beef the that Bob’s Burgers not great Teddy something like that oh oh come meet our family and let us meet you get it meet hey Louise that’s pretty
Good I’m the smart one that’s good yeah that could work Lynn you you could sing that well yeah I yeah yeah yes now I hear it jeane give me something bouncy mom go 2 three come meet our family let us meet you Bobsburgers that’s great I mean not that exactly but something like that I mean we’ll work on love that yeah and then we just add some dialogue and show the burgers that this is going to work not to be a Missy pissy but how are we going to make the
Commercial in Just 4 days well there is one guy we could call I love it that’ll be $1,500 worth it this is Randy I still can’t believe you want to work with Randy how many times are you going to let him hurt you we don’t know
Anyone else who can do this stuff and he’s cheap I wrote it I should be the one directing it not some idiot Louise all the best movies were written directed by one girl the man did glue a wig on a cow and that worked out all
Right here he is get it out out now ry’s a pain in the butt he has bad breath he be sitting down facing the toilet he smells like a hamster cage he’s average height Tina that’s not really an insult okay here he is hey buddy hello belchers you’re stupid what nothing hey
Uh what did you think about the script what did I think about the script oh quick question did a kid write it actually yes this kid me and just to explain who’s in charge this is a point and shoot operation I point and you shoot well we will see about that no I’m
The puppet master and you’re the guy who gets the Puppet Master a glass of water uh puppets can’t get water for people that’s not true there’s a lot of movies where pupp get water for people I am a filmmaker name one movie where puppets get water for people pretty woman I will
Have to rent that and see Randy look at this it’s not awful and Linda and Tina unroll the banner with glamour while we sing lovely and where’s the banner there oh there wow that’s great you spelled meat with little hamburgers so you know it’s meat they look like
Little butts Tina yeah it works on every level and action only I say action and I just said it so action come me a family and let our family meet you hey meet me cut cut cut cut cut everybody stop saying cut I will say cut my fault
Butter figur is over here everyone was wrong cut there’s one for your blooper real right show that at the rap party at Bob’s Burgers we use only the freshest ingredients M cut Tina what was that a sexy hair flip why was it too sexy oh
Just why are you doing that it’s for my wow factor so Jimmy junr sees the commercial and goes wow stick to the script Tina you can weird it up in the mirror whenever you want okay doll and action burgerzilla Bobs Burgers has a biggest flavor in all the land by by
Jean what and Cinda so come come byy Bob’s Burgers today after the game and cu the banner tell us football s you and cut that’s a wrap I’m you’re the best family ever you you oh my God oh my God you love it oh my God we’re screwed oh my God we
Screwed do you love it no oh my God we’re screwed we’re screwed oh my God are screwed are screwed do you love it no oh my God we’re screwed we’re screwed we’re really really really screwed hey Bob what do you think why did I think this was a good idea why
Did I throw all our money away on this despite the brilliant camera work I think the problem is the script written by a 9-year-old whoa whoa whoo learn to direct you hack I am learning Bobby it’s not that bad it is that bad Lynn the banner broke Tina did that weird thing
With her hair Teddy can’t catch a burger I just couldn’t get my head around my character all right so what do we do Mr super troll we already bought the air time we got to air something here’s what you need to do fire Randy I don’t think
That’s the yes sir I’ll direct it like I should have in the first place and it’ll freaking Sparkle maybe I could try spitting my hair the other way like this H Teddy what’s the name of that NFL guy you know no Sandy fry want me to call
Him no do you think he’d work for less than $500 well he really wants to break into acting he’d probably do it just for the experience great what we can tell people to come to Bob’s Burgers after the game and meet a real NFL player they’ll be running out of peston to come
Here a football player in a Super Bowl hi commercialist Sandy fry not replace l just re-shoot a little add some stuff I thought a celebrity endorsement was too slick for us let’s just take the family out of the family commercial then we’ll take the burgers out then the restaurant
Out it’ll be great it’s still a family commercial Louise we’re just adding a new member to the family who has name recognition and is more appealing mom you’re letting this happen well you know I let a lot of stuff happen I don’t like jeans haircut what I want to feather it
Come here I want my name off this project and my last name off my name now it’s just Lou Louise Sandy can can fry here we go highlight reel why do they call him can can oh yeah I remember every time he sacked a quarterback he’d celebrate by
Doing the can can that was his thing it was a simpler time I also brought in some props to make the new final shot look more football some pom poms for Linda ra pom poms for the mom moms for Jean I brought this mouth guard which I
Need back by tonight I grind my teeth a and a referee shirt for Louise no way I’m not being the referee took the shirt off my teddy bear and you’re the only one who it’ll fit tough break Randy sorry about your naked bear Louise a word
Please listen to me I know we’ve had our differences but I need this admit you’re a hack and I’ll do it I am not a hack then I’m not a ref fine I’m a hack but I’m learning and soon I will he said he’s a hack just so you know good girl
Louise cooperation did someone here order an NFL legend because next door they did not and they yelled at me to leave hi I’m Sandy thanks for giving me an opportunity to act in your commercial I’ve been working on my accents which would you prefer good day mate or that’s
A spicy I um I can you do a Russian accent can I hey I’m a Russian it’s a so-cold it’s a no I cannot I’m sorry I think just your regular voice will be great Sandy I’m playing myself yes you got it Bob I’m here to carry out your
Vision even if you don’t want me to do an accent now that’s a great attitude great attitude terrible concept for a commercial hack director let’s do this yeah let’s do this just being sarcastic Sandy and I was ignoring it little tiny person why do you eat at Bob’s Burgers
Sandy because your Burgers go great with fry Sandy can can fry right on see it’s already working people love Sandy except that guy ruined the shot because your Burgers go great with fry okay that’s a WP wow great day everyone great day hey all this acting makes me hungry let’s
Celebrate with some Sesame cheddar blasts um we don’t have a thing mozzarella volcano um we just have Burgers and Fries so see you Sunday okay great Sandy thank you you are amazing you are amazing Sandy I want to marry you so I can be Bob can can I wouldn’t
Take his name I’m thinking uh what if we maybe zoom in a little more like that a little more that little more something like this more this little more this perfect enjoy it while it lasts pesto soon they’ll all be coming here Bob’s Burgers Bob speaking oh hello dear yes
I’d like to make a reservation oh uh actually that’s a good idea we’re going to be slammed uh what time would you like to come in um you’re an idiot the clock it’s just Jimmy P here hilarious Jimmy looks like whatever dumb idea you had to outdo me really paying off not my
Idea will pay off Jimmy oh really you have no idea what’s coming your way here’s what’s coming your way hey hang that up for me would you stupid pesto how much longer till half time my contractions are 9 minutes apart just go to the bathroom Jean you made it all the
Way to Sunday it’s still heroic you just don’t understand the pageantry of the super bowel oh my God it’s almost kickoff our commercial is going to air any minute oh God I’m so excited I can’t wait to see it Bobby hey where are be recognized for something other than
Wearing my shirt backwards at school that one time at Bob’s Burgers we only use the freshest ingredients and we grind our meat right here M that’s a 10 yard penalty for Unnecessary deliciousness hey your NFL great Sandy can can fry and you’re Bob come see me
Here after the Super Bowl he’ll give you the best burger you’ve ever had and I’ll give you a high five tell me Sandy why do you like Bob’s Burgers so much because Bob’s Burgers goes great with Cy pop work is conveniently located on Ocean Avenue open Monday through Friday
Also Saturday and Sunday can can wow that turned out great but the family was barely in it you didn’t even show my hair flip and where was the Giant Burger boy who peas mustard the star of the commercial you cut out all of the singing all of it I told you Dad threw
Us under the bus hey I understand you’re all disappointed but Randy and I thought this was the best way to go and Sandy is so great and likable is this what you wanted dad all you had to do was ask yeah Dad happy now no I mean yes about
Our commercial but no no get used to it Dad this is all we can’t can’t do from Mil on yeah oh yeah well this is how long are we going to can can cuz this is hurting it doesn’t end you do it till you die yeah ow ow hey look sand is
Still on TV what so Sandy fry why will you be at Jimmy pesto signing autographs during and after the Super Bowl you know instead of at some stupid greasy Burger Shack because Jimmy Pesto’s Pizza goes great with fry all right what the hell that doesn’t even make sense Pizza doesn’t go well with
Fry I don’t believe it pesto stole our commercial we’re SU he beat us again who’s us the family you turned your back on yeah now you know how we feel Bob the betrayer is betrayed karma’s a and then you die I’m so upset I don’t even have to go to the bathroom anymore
Either that or maybe I’m going right now oh I really do still have to go quite a bit what are you doing I’m going to go settle up with pesto I can’t get this apron off stop you’re like a mental patient in a straight jacket Tina untie the back
Karma’s a oh my God forget it I’ll wear it over there H great commercial Bob I’m being sarcastic it was terrible you you’ve never support me Randy I always watch the game here Bob front butt yeah you make a Better Door than a window and you fat classic you stole my commercial
Jimmy you stole him oh hey Bob Pizza no I don’t want pizza I’m angry at you oh because of the commercial yes Sandy how could you before you reject my olive branch which is pizza with olives let me explain after I finished shooting your commercial I came here to get some
Imaginative appetizers and some pizza two things you don’t serve and I may have told Jimmy pesto that I’m an actor now and I had just shot a commercial with you to air during the Super Bowl which in hindsight is probably how Jimmy got the idea to do one himself with the
Same tagline but I hired you first if I hurt your feelings or broke a contract with you that was an honest mistake live and learn yeah Bob live and learn and lose again all right that’s it unplugg unplug no not my stay calm everyone I’ll
Back on in a second hey that’s that guy from that commercial oh good you saw my commercial you copy pesto what no I did it first pesto copied me crybaby copy cat cry baby no the commercial with Sandy was my idea and Jimmy pesto stole it
God throwing food at me he was and move on well can’t leave him there come on let’s go get him fine wait let’s let him get hit by one more meatball there it is okay let’s go I’d go with you but I don’t want to give up my seat it’s a
Good spot no stop it no this guy am I right anyway would you like to see an outtake from our family commercial uh sure did I W you I guess yes ow come on 36% oh my God none of this ever should have happened I I made a great
Commercial with my family it was funny and cute well it wasn’t that funny but it was good well it wasn’t that good but but it was us and I scrapped it to make a commercial I thought would get more customers I never should have done that
Hey 59% folks thank you Sandy oh no I was just responding to the 59% 62 don’t you don’t no no don’t clap for that listen listen to me I I made a terrible commercial but my food’s good you should try it someday they’re back on they’re
Back on the TVs are on everybody the game all right now you get out of here go stand on your own counter it’s already dirty yeah Bobby let’s go Linda kids we heard every word Bob that was beautiful took you a while to get there but you finally realized I was right as
Always that was just so moving speaking of moving I think my thought you were leaving we’re going to J just had to use your stupid bathroom it’s for customer only can I get a pesto colada Lyn what I’m sorry I couldn’t hold you until halftime if I did I can only imagine
You’d be an even more Super bowel we’ll try it again next year goodbye handsome you look like a fighter I hope you go down I kept flushing I kept flushing oh my God you kept flushing what what happened what what happened he’s a fighter he’s a fighter we have to move
Jean super bow oh you kept pushing the toilet oh my God go save yourselves just remember me tell them what happened today My Heart Will Go On oh hey there’s my commercial for Trans noodles cuz trans noodles go great with fries I was in a lot of commercials today oh my God
They’re all living pesos they’ll have to come to us we’ll be packed well three people H three people Jimmy yeah our food is great our staff’s full of surprises so come on down to Bob’s some burgers and some Fries going to my temp job on Christmas Eve extra money’s nice when you’re a little bit po yeah I still can’t believe the post office lets Randalls like Mom come in and sort the mail why not have you seen her sort Underpants the woman’s a prodigy it’s the busiest time of the
Year for the post office they need so much help they almost don’t care where it comes from clearly what are you doing with a totally normal looking sadol I’m going to hide him in the post office and whoever finds him wins a candy cane right um why cuz it’s Christmas Eve Bob
Everyone wants a little Christmas cheer from lindon’s Big sack maybe don’t say big sack big sack big sack now that I have your attention super friendly reminder that tonight is the first annual kid only belshire kid gift exchange a so generous not really price limit is one allowance that’s low your
Allowances almost nothing yep yep definitely a challenge a I can’t wait anyway bye uh when will you be home remember your parents and sister are coming over later yeah all three of them hey they like the hurtful comments one brings lots of fleem and one is gaale hi
You need to be here when they show up please don’t worry Bob I’m coming home right after work Hees you think I don’t know what happens when my parents and Gail get together and I’m not there to keep the peace it’ll be the ottoman situation all over again the ottoman
Situation don’t mention it Bob just don’t even bring it up and also you’ll be here right to to not bring it up we’ll be here Dad that’s nice but you guys just give them a hug and then you run away uh-uh we sneak away to be fair
I’m a lot less is more with me sort s sort sort sorted sort sort sort sort scratch my butt that feels good so much meal if you ask me though this is the best place to be on Christmas Eve except at home and if you accidentally got locked in the mall I
Bet that would be really fun shopping spree just think this little present in every one of these boxes we get to play Santa we spread cheer all over the world people are sending stuff getting stuff bases Al lightting up old ones young ones famous ones Andy McDow probably and
It’s all because of us well me temporarily you’re lucky you get to do it full time huh uh you say something oh oh well I’ll just tell you again just think there’s little presence in every one of these boxes oh my go what is this
Hideous thing D and now you get to keep the candy cane everyone loves a candy cane right but it’s chocolate flavored it’s kind of gross I didn’t read the Box ah seasonal hires Lord help me Mike there he is Mike you’re the one who vouched for Linda during the hiring
Process correct uh yeah a thanks Mike what a nice guy right oh he’s backing away without saying anything okay bye Mike hey T what you up to Louise did you um see inside the tote I totes did not did you see what was inside the tote no
Jeez Tina easy girl sorry it’s the first annual kid only belter kid gift exchange we’re all feeling the pressure right I saw the gift exchange gifts Tina got for us that bad huh no good remember at the grocery store there was a vending machine with bobu figures and I wanted
The slug of condo but it was too far from the vending hole not really but that’s vending holes for you Tina remembered she must have been plugging quarters into that thing all afternoon what did you get me I’m not sure sure it was like a little tub of sprinkles were
They pink actually yeah she got me pinkles my favorite frozen yogurt topping and only available wholesale G Tina this is bad this is very bad wait why cuz my gift for her isn’t half as good as her gift for me your gift for Tina was yours wait we’ll say it at the
Same time 1 2 3 B seriously now baret looks like we didn’t try at all I mean I still had to go into her drawer and get one and this one’s going to the plan and this one’s going to the plan and this one’s going to the plan Linda do you
Have to say that for every package sorry sorry Donna all right people as of this minute the post office is closed the sooner we’re gone the sooner we’re not here H please it’s Christmas what so we’re closed yeah but it’s a present for my nephew he’s he’s seven a it’s little
Nephew this needs to get to him on Christmas Day special delivery you you do that right we do that if you get it in in before 5 minutes ago listen maybe you have a nephew who you love very much I have kids kids that’s not the same
Thing but you get it kind of this is important I’m late for a flight or right I take it myself all right all right right I’ll take it just hurry up thank you I just spied on a Christmas miracle like one of those goats looking at
Little baby Jesus a eating a tin can looking at Jesus trucks here load them up oh right right right how many times do I have to say it people stack your empties your mom doesn’t work here except for Ernie because I’m his mom come Mom where did I heard Santa these
Jeez the gift for the little nephew come on Linda I’m locking up Donna look this never made it onto the truck oh really crap well whoever sent it can file a claim but there’s a present in here for a little boy how do you know that the
Guy said he came in just as we were closing but people in that situation have been known to lie it could be anything in there it could be human poop what people send poop in the mail oh yeah why oh different reasons mostly bad Oh Linda if that package isn’t at the
Plant by now there’s nothing we can do put it aside we’ll get to it on the 26th now let’s go but nephew Christmas Linda come on I got to do something oh Santa’s in there keep your mouth shut Santa I’m doing this for You I took a package don’t know what I’m gonna do I’m gonna take it to the plant I don’t have time to take it to the plant I got to get back to the house but how else is it going to get to the nephew I need a candy cane ah
Chocolate Grandma and Grandpa haven’t been here in a while big night huh dad I bet they’re going to say I grew mhm yep yep oh God Linda get home where where’s your brother and sister probably wrapping gifts for the gift exchange if I know them everything has to be just so
G not even Tina’s Journal can help us find a gift for Tina mom’s home or that straight cat that knows how to open doors is back no Santa’s looking at us right now going t t t t Tina don’t chop so fast we’ll finish cooking too soon
And I won’t have an excuse to stay in the kitchen when your grandparents and Gail are here copy that chop slower chop oh thank God you’re home how long until they get here again like a half hour why hm half hour I think I can make
It Go ho ho ho for it I need to pop out just for a second it’s a work thing what don’t I have to pop out me Linda you’re the buffer between me and your parents and you help keep the peace between them and Gail Bob and you know all the lies
That gaale tells them to make it sound like she’s having a better life than she’s having I can’t keep track remember when she told them she was doing some eyebrow modeling abroad Bob calm down I’ll be back before you know it just drink Fine hurry please J and I are
Going to go with Mom what we are right we are no kids I got got to be quick but we’ve already spent so much of Christmas Eve without our mommy we don’t want to miss another solitary second a she call me Mommy all right fine we’re going now
Let’s go I could go for some Christmas Eve mommy time hello Tito you stay here cool cool cool what’s in that Mama Jama it’s a very special gift for someone’s very special nephew who’s we’re dropping it off at the Sorting plant this is a mission to spread Christmas cheer it’s
Fun right Christmas is fun yeah take that Charlie Brown you Mo question on the way back can we stop somewhere cheap uh and well stocked with you know just like Tina friendly items is this about your gift exchange and half ass it huh G I thought we all had an agreement to
Half asset well everything’s closed but we’ll see what we can do and we got to get back before grandma says anything like the horrible things she normally says oh no oh no maybe it’s mom and she’s just being really formal so you guys are here early yeah we were going
To stop at my house first first my big rich person house your house that I bought for being a world famous internet doctor right right but workmen were there I’m having some bathrooms removed because you have so many bathrooms don’t worry Bob I’ll keep the one you always stink
Up God you okay Grandpa need something to drink wow it’s cold in here did they turn off your heat again nope it’s just winter maybe you’d be more comfortable in the living room by the tree where’s Linda she’ll be here any minute now I hope oh that’s supposed to beathe the
Tree hello can somebody another Christmas Eve screaming through a fence oh it’s your father hi sweetie how are things Linda where are you your family’s here already yeah I’m almost sort of done I’ll be back soon how soon is soon Linda soon Bob where are they what are
They doing oh right now they’re in the living room Tina’s telling them the the story of how she almost took piano lessons oh that’s a good story but Bob you got to be in there too what they need supervision they need a buffer I can’t buff I’m cooking then bring him in
There with you I’m sorry H I love you very much no you don’t I do and I’m going to be home soon and it’ll be the best Christmas ever I promise Mom look oh oh a truck’s coming Bob I got to go willing to wait oh and if they bring up
The ottoman thing change the subject what’s the ottoman thing again I got to go bye no it’s like the North Pole I think I smell reindeer no that’s Jean thank you so we just drop the package and go no we got to make sure it goes out tonight we got
To talk to the person in charge you mean the plant manager we got to get this package on the truck or it’ll ruin some nephews Christmas and’ll probably cry and none of the angels will get their wings come on Mom try to sell it uh how
Do I put this nicely who the hell are you sorry uh Linda bcha postal clerk just for the holidays my my boss is Donna something uh-huh and these are your kids just for Christmas delivery yeah so it’s priority Express that truck left 5 minutes ago that was a truck mhm
Also you’re a sorting clerk sort of and you removed that package from your PO without authorization I could call you Superior oh God don’t tell Donna it would ruin a great relationship but it’s Christmas Eve drop the package in the bin outside my office we’ll forget this
Happened so it’ll get there tomorrow God no December 26th if you’re lucky but that’s when they celebrate Christmas somewhere right Australia Russia I don’t know all right thanks uh-huh Bin’s outside my office wasn’t that the bin or is my bendar way off this isn’t that far away
And on Christmas Eve we’d get there in no time we’d even have time to stop at the store real quick yeah sure sure what about Dad he seems what’s a less sad way of saying scared of Grandma he’ll be fine he makes a big deal I to see him
And my parents but he loves them deep down real deep so far deep puts his butt to sleep yeah good so it’s a quick little long drive to another town pop out yes all right we got to do this quick not that they’ll come looking for us the
Guy at the plan had enough going on he w’t notice one little bitty missing package right oh seriously hello Donna is Fred over at the Disco and made off for the priority Express parcel oh let me guess Linda beler I’ll take care of it hello it’s Donna hey Donna what’s up Linda beler
Went rogue she took a priority Express package and is delivering it herself dear Lord not priority Express uh-huh you vouched for her I need you to handle it with care did that sound cool uh sure Christmas is the worst hallelujah hallelujah hallelujah hallelu Bob I think I threw away my
Medication will you root through the garbage for me uh yeah you know I don’t have to get my own Christmas tree my lover gets it for me darkk darkk money Rich right Bob you met him uh oh right remember you guys are wrestled he said you flirted with him mhm yep yep
Everyone good for drinks uh Grandpa more milk yes please oh my God a this is fun bob especially compared to last year all that business with the ottoman uh wait what uh hey uh maybe we should again with the ottoman oh no okay uh um de the halls with balls of holly
Take It Tina uh uhoh hello Linda it’s Mike oh hi hi Mike uh how’s your chestnuts they’re roasting do you still have that priority Express package I uh hey look it’s okay we have Male carrier male sort of confidentiality okay I’ve got it I’m I’m
Dropping it off for a little boy in bog Harbor on Mur Hill Drive Linda there’s no such thing as Male carrier male sort of confidentiality damn ass reroute and bring the package to me and then you’ll deliver it no I’ll bring it to the plant
That’s the law I I can’t do that Mike look I was like you once I loved being a mailman on Christmas I felt like a large Elf or a small Santa I took the mail personally but now I just take the mail a Mike why you got to follow Protocol no
Matter what the package is or who it’s for or what they tell you is inside you talking about poop I’m talking about poop the guy who dropped this off wasn’t like that he was nice well well kind of weird a little sweaty but nice nice sweaty and weird if my penis could talk
Listen Mike I’m I’m sorry but I got to pretend my cell phone’s not working now Linda don’t do it I’m losing you mic do not do this Linda sorry honey even on Christmas Eve I can’t fail the mail did that sound badass or uh kind of pantry
Yay Tina that was great singing what else can we sing No More singing I want to talk about the otoman incident oh crap ottoman ottoman ottoman Let It Go already or uh Let It Snow one more time people Bob you be the judge listen to my side of the story
Then my parents’ side and then tell me I’m right H we’re right me judge uh I just realized I have to go to the bathroom so much for so long bye-bye uh anyone think I’ve grown at all no good eye good ey I can’t believe even the Big Chain stores were closed
For the holidays since when did they have a soul oh it’s hopeless mom just give me the package whatever’s in it I’ll give it to Tina now Louise now oh we’re here we’re here okay here goes Christmas Linda beler huh Mike yeah you’re here how’ you
Make it so fast don’t mess with the mail carrier we know all the surface streets hand over the package Linda ah but quick put a step on me and tell him I’m the package I want to do this for you Linda give the package to me just
Let me deliver it let me spread this Christmas cheer damn it you’re not a mail carrier but we try to love her the law sounded cool when you said that finally I I I got to do this even if there is no little boy in there uh mom
And even if there’s nothing in this package but a whole bunch of human poop mom look there is a little boy he’s real and he’s spectacular what is this are you guys carers or something we’re not we’re kids much like you my boy we’re we’re from the post office really is
That package for me I’m not a mail carrier but you are come on Mike deliver the pack package I don’t know take it Mike no damn coldhearted a I’m so sorry sweetie signature required a Mike you’re doing it like s what’s happening special delivery I need someone to sign are you
Undercover mail people we sure are ma’am have a candy cane oh a brown one chocolate it’s chocolate it’s not great okay um thank you Merry Christmas H hey what’s the what’s the gift s in there got any extras any extra extra gifts you know you got so many you’re like G I got
Doubles of this I don’t have doubles now kids come on let’s go I we open them tomorrow so I don’t really know oh yeah you want to just give me one if it’s great I’ll send it back if not maybe I did you a favor theise now to go to the
Bathroom but really you’re just sort of avoiding things no I’m uh really going I would know if you were we all would know oh they need you in there Dad Mom helps them to not talk about things maybe maybe you could go the other way you may
Help them work it out o sounds hard but yeah all right if I come out you’re not just going to run in here and lock the door are you no promise yes you promise sorry sorry got to stay strong okay tell me about the Ottoman finally it was Last Christmas I was in
Florida visiting them in their condo Derk money Rich was at our other house in Tuscany they were so happy to see me because I’m their favorite and I had a really fun idea for that night when our cousin Donnie was coming over I was going to hide in the flip up utan dad
Uses his story slippers and when Johnny came over I was going to jump out and surprise him so I got in but I dozed off in there new meds when I tried to jump out I was trapped under Dy stupid heavy gifts that weren’t even for me then they
Left to go to a movie without me I was in that utan for hours trapped with those smell slippers it was hell we didn’t know where you went we didn’t think you were serious about the adaman of course I was serious it was an incredible idea also hearing huh ow
We’re talking about the adamen I keep my slippers in there I know their scent will haunt me I still wake up screaming slippers okay okay everyone calm down I I I think we can settle This it’s unbelievable they’re all living what did you do I I just told him that it’s more important to be together on Christmas than it is to win some dumb argument and that worked kind of not really but then I went into the bedroom and called Gail pretending to be from
The bank I told her to put her on speaker phone I said she had too much money and it was overflowing and was a fire hazard and your parents seem to believe it that put everyone in a good mood a good for Gil yep wow it’s uh origami swan made from a priority
Express packing slip yeah we learned origami and don’t even ask Mike the mailman if he’s really good at it cuz what does that have to do with anything but that’s not all Gina and I got you something else you ready yep here it is sorry TI we wanted to get you
Something better oh guys this is the best gift you could give me unless you’re setting me up for my real gift we’re not uh-huh okay Tina you’re patting me down seriously there’s no other GI shh I know now her hands in my pocket oh there’s a Bret in here A another DNA math test and if I don’t get at least a be on the next one I’ve got to go to remedial math H remedial math huh on your first day in there steal the biggest kid’s pencil yeah and then sharpen it and give it back what do
I tell my grandchildren they used to be bad at math oh Grandma I’m not going to remedial math because I’m going to get a tutor who will teach me what my teacher could not I don’t know why we’re getting yelled at you know what’s this weekend
Bobby Valentine’s Day oh crap I I mean I I don’t mean crap Lynn I I know you love Valentine’s Day I just feel like I never get it quite right no you do not no you’re horrible at it well I mean a couple times I got you something nice
Remember I got that oil change for the car right yeah that was for you that was nice yeah this year you don’t have to worry cuz I got it all figured out Tada wow what is it it’s a Valentine’s Advent calendar this year we’re doing Valentine’s days Valentine’s days say
Goodbye to the pressure of being super romantic on one day and say hello to being somewhat romantic for a bunch of days leading up to the big V yeah behind each little door is a romantic activity that I’ve already thought of oh you plan stuff that’s right huh all right that
Sounds better right open up day one Bobby come on let me let me let me let me open it no Teddy let me just open go okay uh sexy cooking sexy cooking I knew it yeah I don’t exactly know what that means but if it means I’m not going to
Screw up Valentine’s Day then I am in I love it we’re in Rosa Rosa Rosa Daryl huh what I need your help could you tutor me at math not taking on new clients all my post tutoring pre video game free time is going to robotics I’m building a
Companion robot for my grandpa he gives him pills and plays Jazz but if I don’t get help I’ve got to go to remedial math ooh that’s tough good luck wait what about Tutor me on Saturday I’m not going to the Valentine’s Day dance so maybe and you assume because I’m a nerd I’m
Not going either what oh I’m sorry I assumed you weren’t going for a totally different reason yeah I’m not going that’s it double nerd huh come with me we got to talk in private I’ll tutor you if you’ll be my day to the Valentine’s dance oh Daryl I’m flattered but I’m
Semi involved with someone Jimmy junr he’s semi not involved with me right now but we’re working through it no I don’t really want to go to the dance with you I want to go with Rosa Batista then why don’t you ask Rosa I can’t She’s Out of
My League I’m in seventh grade she’s in eighth I think she still sees me as a little boy that peed down the slide in second grade oh that was you I heard it was off a swing some of it may have gotten on the swing but listen do you
Remember who won Cupid’s couple at last year’s seventh eighth grade Valentine’s dance um Michael Carlos and Tracy Schwarz right and after they broke up seventh grade Michael carish started dating eighth grade Jena whoever wins Cupid’s couple can date anyone they want when they break up if we fake date we
Could win and then if we fake break up I could date Rosa and you could date Jimmy Junior H but why would students vote you and me to be Cupid’s couple because of the double nerd angle I’m not a nerd you kind of are not we’ll be too adorable to
Lose a negative times a negative is a positive that can’t be right we’ll cover that in tutoring so do we have a deal uh feels kind of wrong to mess with love Jimmy junor we’d have to be careful I’ve seen enough romantic comedies to know you’re probably going to fall for me I
Won’t fall for you okay it’s just that you’re probably going to fall for me don’t I won’t good fight that feeling I won’t need to okay fake boyfriend let’s fake do this your hand is sweaty like a forehead I know it’s an issue oh my God are you two
A couple now you do the math no um yeah we are well nibble my Dibble how long y’all been going out since today but earlier I never really thought about either of you that much but you guys make a cute couple yeah it’s like neither of you are
Cute but together you’re cute we’re both humans who wear glasses W volume darl yeah man we’re right here you all right buddy darl sweetie will you come with me for a sec and check my hair for lice no okay we’ll be right back I’m losing so
Much water out of my Palms I’ll be dead by morning pull together Daryl maybe I was wrong about this I don’t know how to be a boyfriend you haven’t dated anyone and I’ve only dated two and a half boys but I’ve thought about boys in
Relationships a lot like a lot I mean a lot okay so how about this you’ll be my math tutor and I’ll be your boyfriend tutor okay like if you don’t know what to say just give me a tiny side hug um oh God okay um not like that decent hug
But do it silently next time good news neither of us have Li so hello again everyone a you guys are so cute together thanks Rosa you’re welcome bye bye by bye oh bye are Daryl and Tina holding hands Tina hasn’t ped after Daryl for one second and that girl can
Pine hey Lynn can you take this to table four what the hell was that sexy cooking oh okay right she got you whipped cream sexy right very teddy uh now’s not really the best time Lyn Comey that’s the lunch rush come on come on also can
You take that burger to table four I could or you can try and find the strawberry I’ve hidden somewhere on my body what are you talking about find the strawberry strawberry Trail no I don’t know not right now wait is that it right there in your apron pocket mhm so it’s
In there yeah you come and get it well it’s all dirty now cuz it’s in your apron with a dirty dish rag so dirty hurry up it’s getting all mushy well I don’t really want to now it has a dish rag on it sure you do I really don’t I don’t want
Open up open up fine I’ll take a nipple ly you’re gagging Tina hey back from tutoring I see have a seat my sister sure so Dar old boyfriend you girlfriend mhm really really okay you broke me Daryl and I are pretending we’re dating so we can win
Cupid’s couple at the dance and then we can go out with whoever we want and I stay in normal math I knew math was responsible please don’t tell if anyone knows we’re faking then we won’t win right bribe please okay well the winners of hit’s couple get a $50 frozen yogurt
Gift card I guess you guys can have that if we win sh you had me it gets a $50 frozen yogurt gift card now a boyfriend should always give his girlfriend compliments like you could tell me I did a great job of opening my locker on the first try I
Should compliment you on that especially that my locker has a mine of its own which I respect but also sometimes I just need to get my books uh okay hey great job opening your locker on the first try Tina oh thanks wo that is some
Sweet talk I know right it’s so cute how their glasses reflect off each other yeah like two mirors that go on forever infinite stuff trips me out oh no there’s a spider on your back ew get it off get it off no it’s not real it’s my
Hand it’s a cute game we play it’s our thing but I hate spiders could it be a beetle sure oh no there’s a beetle on your back a boogs are like the new Hogs Cupid sure hit that couple right in the rump huh it’s the Romance of the century and
It has nothing to do with Yogurt I’m having a really good time with you tonight think everyone heard you you got to yell over the music oh right I’m having a really good time with you tonight oh man look at Chloe and Zach’s slow dance they are so slow wow they’re barely moving how do we compete
With that we cannot let them win Cupid’s couple hold on I got a good idea hey who’s having a great Valentine’s Day well I’m having a greater time because I’m here with the number one girlfriend in the world T Bel hi a I want someone to stretch out my name like that H Jeline DJ slow jamy girl I wish you were in all my classes and when we kiss we hit our glasses now let’s slow dance like More thank you good night a wow Daryl where did that come from girlfriend like surprises you taught me that hey you know I might push us over the top right now A Kiss great idea let’s make this look Real wow who knew Daryl was total boyfriend material I know I didn’t know but now I know you know we’re going to win this thing we should probably kiss one more time just in case someone was tying their shoes and missed it right good thinking so are you ready to see what we
Got for actual Valentine’s Day I don’t know if I am ready it’s it’s been a rough week yeah we’ve had some misfires and an actual fire yeah yeah ooh bubble bath well it’s hard to mess up a bubble bath and Jean and Louis are asleep so that sounds
Good oh Bobby oh hello there get in here you it’s nice and bubbly yeah there’s a lot of bubbles yeah I use the whole bottle use the whole bottle you’re supposed to use like a teaspoon it’s like toxic no all right fine fine it’s fine it’s just a lot of bubbles come on
It’s fun it’s like a paste in here yeah right there’s like no water let’s just go with it yeah but it stings just ignore it yeah it’s when it gets in your eyes it stings ignore it come on look at me I just got to get out for a second no
I got to wash my face off Jee I thought you were asleep I thought I was too but then my bladder was like get up what’s going on in here oh God no Louise you got to get out I’m peeing but after I’m going to make a sandwich and join mom
And dad in the tub oh what kind of sandwich no Lynn no well now I got to pee use the second toilet mom dad can you get out for a second second do you pee in here yeah you’re kidding me well no I’m in it well I that’s I’m asking
You to please get out for just a minute couple three and couple four all right looks like the winner of Cupid’s couple is Daryl and Tina don’t fly away because you get a $50 gift card to Bro Mama we did it I know girls are smiling at me the the’s working let’s
Kiss one more time to steal the deal we already won where’s Rosa I can’t see Rosa one more time for all time sfe all right well I okay one more I guess wait that let’s redo that one so now what you and Daryl break up and then Jimmy Junior comes running and
Rosa and my M course according to Daryl’s Theory which is probably right since he’s the smartest boy I’ve ever dated fake dated right right fake dated so the breakup is it going to be classy or nasty definitely nasty want to know how many holes will be barred three none wow that is so
Few you ready to do this maybe we should practice more what if we break up tomorrow or next month no we got this showtime for you my sweets a gardinia my favorite flower Ah that’s it I can’t take it anymore what do you mean you’re just too kind and generous it’s making
Me sick oh yeah well you’re too damn interesting and it’s driving me nuts what’s going on here keeping SCU let’s having a quirrel and a half yeah your charisma is overwhelming me why can’t you be uncharming for one damn second I can’t change how incredible I am just
Like you can’t change how phenomenal you are then maybe we shouldn’t date each other anymore you mean break up effective immediately and date other people at this and or other schools it’s our only choice I wish I knew how to tame you you wild stallion have a great life you too Soulful Wonder
Lady hey Rosa sorry you had to see that man that was rough are you okay Tero I’ll be all right thanks for asking you’re welcome that was so intense I thought they were going to last forever and ever but instead they just imploded right before our eyes so Tina is single
Again why do you want to know I I I don’t care Jimmy Tina so sound look at Ros and Daryl that happened fast the kid a genius yeah they’re really hitting it up those two good for them hey sh hello Jimmy Junior a bunch of us are going bowling tonight
And since you and Daryl aren’t a couple anymore I was wondering if you want to come bowling did someone say nachos um I was kind of talking to Tina this is just for older kids Tina is insisting that we go with her and that she pay for us
Because we know so much about bowling some might say too much wait I don’t get it how could you know too much about we know too much about Bing not something else uh I’m going to take off oh we’ll see you tonight yeah we know too much
About the Cupid cble thing oh okay yeah you can come look what’s back no no no yes yes yes since the kids are out and the bubble bath was a little too bubbly for some we’re going to finish strong with strip teas oh yeah woo yeah that
Could be fun I’d like that I’d like that too see you strut your stuff wait me yeah Magic Mike me baby Glenn you you don’t want that oh but I do really okay then I’ll do it yeah do it but if I’m going to do this I’m going to really do
It Lynn I’m going to go all in Bobby if Bob beler strips he’s going to strip serious like what like how like crazy like you’ve never seen like you want you won’t even want it after 20 seconds of my strip you’re going to you’ll want to
Leave I’m going to go shave my chest and pick out some music let’s do it oh maybe brush your teeth too oh right maybe floss yes okay on your marks get set go yeah Lane five don’t do that what don’t ball H feels like there’s a strike
In here huh those cheeks aren’t leaving me weak like they usually do hell yeah Bo come [Laughter] on on that’s too come on Rosa don’t move there’s a huge Beetle on your back no no I love it when you do that that’s that’s my favorite joke that we do
That’s it oh I can’t take it anymore are you okay cha yeah your face does not look exactly normal for a human no I’m not okay yeah cuz seriously your expression is like none of this is okay okay I’m tired of lying you need to know
The truth Tina what are you doing oh boy everyone Daryl and I only pretended to be a couple so he could trick Rosa into dating him and he would tutor me in math but we didn’t get around to much of that we lied to you and you all fell for it
That’s weird I’m out of here Daryl is this true uh kind of well then I kind of never want to see you again Rosa come back Tina what the hell are you doing um I I guess I guess you guess what I guess I fell for you what but we were
Pretending well I wasn’t what a tangled ass web we weave you fell for me how why because you did nice things and said nice things and we had our special side hug thing you told me to do those things well can’t you just be that guy no that guy
Doesn’t even exist but you fell for the Tina I was when you were together no I didn’t let’s assume you didn’t work backwards from there no Tina we don’t even like the same stuff sure we do do you like math and video games and comic books and going to the Science Museum
You know who likes all those things who Rosa Rosa likes all that stuff oh God you and Rosa should be together yes we should I broke up a perfectly good relationship yes you did I need to get you two back together yes you do oh boy
I hope I’m as good at getting you guys back together as I wasn’t breaking you up go go go go go you taking forever in there you better not be using all my baby oil okay I’m coming out I started to shave but I stopped so don’t look at
My back okay should I hit play not yet oh God oh my God that’s really TI okay now now go party time well well well did someone just give me a second you right wait let me just come right back okay all right go just stop the music for a
Second I’ll be right back all right put it on I’m ready I’m ready here we go and play hey there lady did someone order to take out or should I say take off oh yeah how do you like that oh you like it yeah let’s just getting started let’s
Get it down and dirty take it off baby C woo how’s this working for you cuz this is my one move give it to M let’s orbit the earth let’s orbit the earth I like it it’s I’m getting dizzy yeah yeah no this is what I practiced oh yeah let’s go the
Other way going counterclockwise you’re terrible did you hear something no no keep going I think it’s in the song keep going put the clothes on big boy oh my God the curtain’s open oh God nobody wants to see that hey I do sorry I was doing a strip teas for my wife for
Valentine’s Day all right Valentine’s Day was days ago give it up all right fine I’m closing the curtains oh no damn it crap they’re not closing I’m sorry Bobby this Valentine’s Day thing was a bad idea we just stink at it stink no no
Lynn you know what I said I was going to do it so I’m going to do it all right I’m going to do it yeah take a seat Lynn I’m going back on the table do it the the ohy spin me right round it’s all coming off
Baby Rosa Rosa there you are it’s okay you didn’t say anything back when I called your name all those times look Daryl lied about liking me but he didn’t lie about liking you you got to give him another chance why should I because Daryl and I were a great fake couple but
You and Daryl could be a great real couple and why would we be a great real couple cuz you’re looking at me and you’re still blasting lizard guys like crazy they’re not lizards they’re snakes now technically they’re actually Dem from the black Castle I came here to get
Away from you an arcade might not be the best place to get away from Daryl Rosa will you press two players with Daryl for one game and see how it goes no no way he tricked me into liking him no I realized now the only people that got
Tricked were me and Daryl you and Daryl I tricked myself into falling for a version of Daryl that I created then Daryl tricked himself into being confident enough to talk to you leave me alone all right forget it Tina Ros is back to being out of my league damn it
There are no leagues League balling will now begin on Lanes 9 through 12 okay except bowling leagues but there shouldn’t be people leaks but there are Tina that’s just how it is you’re the one who thought you out of Rosa’s League not Rosa why because you peed on the
Slide in second grade you’re the only one still holding on to that no I totally remember okay so you J and I remember too the point is darl if you liked Rosa then you should have just gone and talked to her even if she remembered the pee thing could you just
Um stop bringing that up right the P thing yes Rosa I’m sorry I should have just told you I liked to yes you should have so will you guys press two player already are you crazy black Castle LEL black castle level oh we said the same
Thing at the same time you know there’s a hidden power up on that level nuh-uh really want me to show you yes a they’re like Mario and Luigi they’re so in love dang it T’s inspired me Jocelyn what did you scoot out of the way I want to ask
Out that shoe rental woman she’s like 35 Zeke and she’s wearing a wedding ring so no leagues I’m the only one holding me back because I think I’m too bowlegged but I’m not just the right amount so let me waddle over here and just ask her out right now hey baby well mission
Accomplished absolutely except that Jimmy junr ran out on you and you’re probably going to fail that math test no I may have failed Jimmy junr but I’m not going to fail the math test I’m going to ace it or at least get a B in which case I’ll base It a nuts I daed it remedial at love remedial at math Jimmy junr I didn’t know you were bad at math yeah real bad you want to be bad a math together yeah okay sure Yes All right my Bob’s going off to college I’m not going off to college Lyn you don’t have the grades I’m I’m just going to the college to fill in for Pepe cooking at the fraternity house for a week a you’re going to have so much fun
Yeah I don’t really see what’s fun about being ordered around by a bunch of Frat Boys I can explain it that’s okay Tina all I know is we need the cash so I’m doing it well you’re going to miss me hosting one of Gretchen’s lady Goods
Parties what are lady Goods I don’t know makeup tampons and pony Saddles rest organizers okay well guess I better go feed Chad and trip and Chip and Skip and all the other Rich Kids you say that like we’re not rich wait Dad are we not
Rich hi I’m the cook I’m filling in for Pepe uh looks like you guys got tpd yeah the Alpha House likes to prank us jokes on them though free toilet paper for us oh yeah tough to roll it back up though I’m the beta president they call me PUD
Oh okay PUD I’m Bob that’s Hefty Jeff he’s the fraternity historian oh uh that’s a thing ask me anything about the history at his fret uh okay when was it founded crap ask me something else I’m turd put her there hey turd so turd PUD
Um Hefty Jeff this is a nice place you got here thank you I mean the sofa is upside down but that’s for hiding and forts yeah okay so I’m guessing this isn’t the top fraternity on campus oh no our motto is if you rushed us you’d be
Pledged by now hey work on me we Haze with hugs some good Huggers in this group girls never come here how we doing ladies let’s give it up for Linda for hosting tonight’s lady Goods party stop it now that everyone’s hammered let’s look at the product line
Do you think it’s appropriate to have the children here why wouldn’t it be appropriate our money is as great as yours TS our first lady good is called theah the vibe which we all know is French for fun I don’t know what the that thing is
But the look on mom’s face is hilarious I’ll buy it okay kids come on go to your room now yeah go to your room guys you too Missy what come on out man up Stu going okay I want a magic vibrating Club just like any other boy yeah all
Right Bob this burger is superb what’ you put in there spices uh a few you deserve a beer follow me to the fellowship room Fellowship room Fellowship room so Fellowship basically means drinking and drinking games like beer beer Goose what’s the slow hand kuner corner o slow hand yeah seriously
Someone’s got to tell him he graduated a million years ago and now Hefty jef turd slow hand is a very generous beta Alum he buys his stuff like that karaoke machine and what’s that beta that’s beta yeah I got that beta was the house of Guana from’ 67 to 86
Only a true brother may drink from him you drink from him I ate Indian food out of him once you’re not supposed to we’re out upstairs oh hey Bob did you drive here uh yeah why maybe it’s time to go to the library tonight we’re supposed to
Wait Bob can drive and we’re the perfect level of drunk to go to the library yeah could you give us a ride to campus I can’t drive at night cuz I don’t have a car okay moving on this one is called Here Comes The Sun It’s solar powered so
You leave it on your porch all day any takers no okay ler ler I’m dying here this crowd is all married boring people who suck you got help me why no I can’t F you’ll be fine Linda swears by this thing don’t you Linda you know because
Of your problems with your husband yeah uh Bob’s got a condition that makes him a sex bad my husband’s got that it’s called being married for 20 years being married for 20 years she just being married I’ll take the one with a hand crank for camping Okay who wants more
Wine so where is the library yeah it’s just up ahead m M I’m really nervous the library must be different than how I’m imagining it stop here okay this isn’t the library at all hey would you mind waiting here and keep the engine running what are they doing with that fish and
That air conditioner oh they’re putting the fish in the air conditioner that’s a good prank kind of no it’s not yeah yeah we did it I feel oh no oh no oh no oh no everybody oh God oh God oh God oh God oh God evening sir evening uh officer I’m uh
Teaching a class on um creative driving creative driving yeah it’s a special U elective elective pass fail it’s pass fail but that’s unnecessary information you’re an Adjunct professor I got it all right have a good class Professor really go go go go Bob you’re a hero you made
The prank you’re a sick old man is that a good thing yes gentlemen I think Bob deserves a beer uh you just gave me one so I’m good I didn’t finish Bob deserves a beer out of beta wow really are you sure I mean that’s disgusting
But uh which end do I drink from D choice I guess I I’ll do mouth you don’t know what you’re missing from the butt bom all right I’ll do butt oh my God I just drank from a lizard’s butt reload no no no I’m good guys I’m good well maybe one more and
Every time I scratch my nails down someone else’s back I hope you feel it do you feel it woo yeah give me the legend again go get it you’re off to the frat house already yeah the guys are playing beer beer Goose so I’m going to make lunch you
Know now I kind of regret not going to college you regret not going to college come on it’s not like you ended up flipping burgers oh wait why don’t you take the kids with you a house full of boys I can’t go I have plans just kidding let’s
Go hey there he is everybody Bob’s here wo [Applause] uh hey guys I brought my kids this is great I can’t not step on cold pizza upside down couch for hiding and fors this is the biggest man cave ever and Tina’s going spelunking no Tina no hey
Bob word of warning slow hand’s here slow hand oh oh the alarm yeah he’s in the bathroom sh guys I think he’s coming coming back from the bathroom entr music Dr Yap I thought I’d never see you again until my next dental appointment your slow hand Bob what are you doing
Here I’m filling in for the cook oh great great hi kids how are you doing are you flossing beina yep yep yep yep uh hey you sign up for the slow hand memories tour actually I should get into the kitchen leaving now keep up and that’s where I had my first French hug
That’s where you feel a girls armpits we done yep we’ve hit every room in the house not every room behind this very door are beta’s greatest treasures our darkest Mysteries and our washer dryer pause for laughter only Brothers may enter the the room of secrets secrets secrets
Secrets you kid want to see inside huh sure no what did I tell you Brothers only okay yep we get it moving on last stop that was the last stop you said that was the last stop one more there’s one more thing yeah the best way to keep
Your secrets in is to put them in a room labeled room of Secrets damn it and finally the beta house wall of Honor hey wait a second what’s this who Hefty Jeff you frame that already I’m to house historian his dad owns a frame shop are you freaking
Kidding me slow hand calm down no you calm down PUD you let a non brother drink out of beta and he cred in my cic corner b to the F it’s okay Bob helped us prank the crap out of the alphas you’ll prank with these guys but you
Won’t prank with us you put the dead fish in the AC what that was my prank why wasn’t I in on my prank you should have called me I put my number in all of your cell phones Bob had a car the fish was starting to smell I bought that fish
That’s why when I have a fish I write my name on it in permanent marker sorry upep I I didn’t know it was your fish you’re right slow hand we screwed up if you want to take time off from hanging out here we would understand no that won’t be necessary the important thing
Is you guys finally sacked up and pranked those Alphas yeah operation bot fish was a huge success y fish it was a yat fish history will say it was a bob fish I’m so proud of my dad that stuff about Bob’s problems in the bedroom was great you are a natural saleswoman
Thanks selling’s easy you just tell lies about your husband and you’re all set yeah yeah yeah throw it all out different Crow see that woman crying over there yeah the one with too much ey Shadow oh it’s awful no I know anyway she just got dumped you tell me why a
Her friends threw with this party think you got an angle for her maybe yes I don’t know good save it let’s go sell some sex toys and Linda ow ow yeah what your own pleasur olist coat a welcome to the pleasur olist family Hey listen
Sweetie I just broke up too huh yeah I broke up with my hus my boyfriend Bob jerk but guess what I found somebody better the Sneaky Pete oh hi it’s nice to meet you what’s your name Susan Susan hi hi Pete I like you Susan I got a
Crutch on you I never felt this way before I want to go home to you with your bedside drawer and live there forever oh now she’s smiling woo we got another one tell her about the holster dad what do you think the Frapp boys keep in their RM of Secrets I don’t know
Tina but whatever it is it attracts ants well don’t you worry today we’re getting in or Jean D trying you got it got you heard Dr Yap that room is off limits to non- Brothers you’re not a brother I’m basically a brother I’m more of a brother than you are Jean you’ve never
Even touched the Iguana I drank from its ass are you okay Dad I just I like those guys and and they like me and it’s not just because we’re always drunk oh my God Dr Y what happened here the ERS hit us man they got us man it’s
Pretty hard bro this could be payback for operation Bob Fish yeah fish and the worst thing is if they took they took a long hard look at your lifestyle no they took beta Bet no I want everyone to see what the alphas did to me what happened slow hand I just came by the house with a new Karaoke CD steady rocking booty jams volume 2 suddenly the alpha president barged in with his foot soldiers first they held me down and shaved me then
They flung me over here and shove me over there and beat up my face and then they took beta oh and they left this no no no no no freaking Alphas they have no respect for anything I’m going to go pee out the window you pee out the window that
Settles it I’m going to college poor beta you drank out of his butt what are the standards here in my day if the Alice hit us we hit him back twice as hard Brothers This Is War and if that means I need to move back into the house
For the forese a able future so be it and it does mean that oh okay get my room ready turd I’m in not I mean not to move in but to help we won’t probably won’t need you at all Bob I’ll do whatever I’m in it for the long haul
Brothers yeah we need Bob now more than ever yeah Bob’s one of us all right it’s all right it’s fine thanks Bob you’re in let’s get him yeah yeah yeah go get him take your time go come back for a l b room of Secrets time to spill your guts Due to reports of property damage feda oilon pie fraternity is here hereby placed on probation signed Dean Dixon stupid Dean Dixon I hate that guy is it a guy he’s the dean he’s nice well probation or not this isn’t over until we show the alphas they can’t get away
With disrespecting our lizard what about Dean Dixon’s letter shouldn’t we lay low turd’s got a point thank you I’m one semester away from graduating oh PUD there are no jobs out there you know that right listen to Bob even though he’s technically not even a brother well
If Bob’s on board you know I’m on board t- Bird yeah bio the BT Express choo choo we’re coming to awesome town just two passengers today turd and Bob Brothers and not really brothers I give you operation spit take wow if I can’t get the secrets out I’m going to
Put my secrets in I have a cat under my bed I’ve had it for 8 months I know about Jean’s secret cat can’t believe we’ll never know what secrets are in the room of Secrets or what laundry is in the room of Secrets wait a minute if the building’s old and
Crappy there might be a laund shoot oh that’s weird I was correct ladies let’s check out some secrets I’m good TAA yeah those aren’t yours oh how how’ these get on tonight none other than Dean Dixon is hosting a banquet recognizing Campus Community Service and their guest of honor guess who it’s the
President of those iguana thieving Alphas getting a special award for their so-called dedication to raising thousands of dollars for cancer research what this deche bot doesn’t know is that an award for fighting cancer isn’t all he’s going to get tonight yeah not if the betas have anything to do with it to
The Beta mobile we’ve got Alphas to crush oh crap the kids uh you guys go ahead I’ll meet you there uh betas check out the past Brothers M if those sideburns could talk here’s a magazine about jugs they’re secret is they love Pottery did I missar them is this
Actually called the room of suets no I think we heard them correctly it’s the room of Secrets well the secr Secrets suck oh here’s Dr yap’s class it’s beta and a bunch of tiny clothes oh beta’s turning his own fashion line no dummy this means the alphas never stole the
Iguana hey you guys aren’t supposed to be in beta we found him in the wall behind Dr yap’s class photo why would beta be here in the house unless Yap made up that whole story he wouldn’t he would he would he would who would Dr Yap oh yeah he would oh my God
We have to stop him before he gets those kids kicked out of school it’s all right they can move in with us dibs on turd I can’t believe it y made up the whole thing he’s been pranking his own frat it’s the ones you least suspect sometimes not this Time oh good Bob I thought you might have whed out you’re just in time to see the alphas pay for taking beta I Know What You Did yep it’s over recognize this iguana recognize this iguana tail are these briefs just curious they’re mind now okay Bob you got me I took beta I
Thought a prank war would bring the brothers together and show them how much I mean to them so it wasn’t the alphas at all those damn Alphas don’t even know we exist yeah they seem pretty focused on their charity work I’ve been teeing our house for years just to get this
Thing going okay this fake prank war ends now the brothers are already on probation y prank the alphas here and you’ll get the house shut down so what they’ll be Legends oh no what’s the prank yep well since you’re too late to stop it I’ll tell you first I dressed as
A waiter and snuck into the banquet while they were setting up oh my God how long is this story then I drilled a hole in the stage and underneath I planted the splatter Master saliva cake the what are you insane I don’t know is it insane to collect the spit of every patient
Who’s passed through my office for the past 6 months and put it in a pony keg absolutely not necessarily right now all the betas are under the stage with the keg waiting for that Dean Dixon to introduces Alpha lap dog and when the alpha president steps up to the podium
Sploosh this is a great plan we’re doing this no we’re not Louise come on yep no it’s all so easy for you isn’t it Bob you just moseyed into the Beta house and stole their hearts with your hamburgers and your perfect body yep I’m sorry okay
And I get it the fraternity is great it’s like being in a family of guys with beer and karaoke suck a punch we’re definitely switching dentists no you’ll never get a better friend dentist who’s in your provider Network I’m I’m Dean Dixon and you’re all expelled just kidding except for you you’re expelled
Just kidding oh God he started his intro I I’ve got to do something you’re too late dad you’ll never stop it now I’ve got to try uh now I’d like to introduce a truly outstanding young man me hello I am the Honor’s uh twin brother H not identical twins obviously but I’m 20
Years old excuse me um that’s okay Dean thanks have a seat you know what I like about my brother he’s nice he he wouldn’t hurt a fly much less I don’t know I’m just naming animals here an iguana please have her removed I want everyone in the room to know even people
Who might be under the stage right now that the alpha president would not hurt or kidnap an iguana right maybe he would no he wouldn’t those are the kind of things our crazy oldest brother would do though you know our crazy Asian dentist older brother I point him out but I have
A slow hand a slow hand Dad should leave the jokes to Dean Dixon haha ha come on help that out are you talking to us don’t set off the spit keg um let’s go out and ask him what he means Hi how are you excuse me who are
These young men I probably should have come to rehearsal but no yeah no dad um you’ve got a little on your right here I did it B yep yep yep y y y y y y y y y y y y y y y y what what are we working with here
What’s going on are these cougar cougar cougar coua kind of a coua poodle mix a coua doodle wow coua doodle open the sample case yeah they’re very smart Bobby where are you all with wa hi guys I brought the guys for burgers I’ve kind of been forgetting to feed them sorry Dean Dixon
Banned you in slow hand from campus but thank you cuz you know you deified us with that guy banned from the Frat my GPA might go up yeah sorry Yap called you a nerd for doing homework and that I said I agreed with him what is what is happening right now
What is this go for it man I don’t know what to do from here v rul ah ah how do you like that why are none of these guys interested woo tonight everybody gets HED my sisters are my brothers I’m going to go PE out a window wait why is everybody holding Vibrators So let me get this straight this is called a toy aisle and some kids have parents who come here and buy things for them that sounds made up how are we all having the same dream right now kids pick out a gift please we’re already late for your friend’s party he’s not
Our friend we barely talked to cold he’s not even in any of our grades there’s a lot of nice people who aren’t in our grades name one and don’t say mom you know what I think this is Colton’s patting out his invite list to get more presents he’s a gift grubber Louise come
On give Colton a chance Tina’s right you got to give people a chance sometimes they surprise you now seriously pick a gift and let’s go fine Rubik’s Cube well a fake one it says multicolored puzzle Square I want it toys are great there are no price tags on the batteries how
Much are the batteries how much are the batteries I don’t work here then what’s with the attitude oh it’s Edith kids let’s go what’s wrong dad give her a chance she might surprise you that only applies if it’s not Edith she’s always awful dad maybe someday when you’re old
A family will run away from you wow they went all out it says on the invite the theme is The Great Gatsby I don’t know about great kind of a weird theme for a kids party hi we’re Colton’s parents I’m Blake and this is Allison well aren’t
You kids the bees KN Colton come say hi here you go a boater for the little gentleman and flapper feathers for the girls that’s cute swap yes please call me feather Locker Colton what do we say thanks for coming to my party thank you for having us Colton we brought you a
Present added to the present pile Colton can I just open my presents now party first Bud then presents see classic gift grubber oh wait before you go Colton let me get a pick with your friends after you take your finger out of your nose finger out
Of your no you just switched fingers a better that’s better okay say 23 scoo 233 SC okay well I got to get back to the rest rest so uh have fun 23 sco to you I don’t know what that means neither do we Okay bye hey Teddy you got a spring in your
Step today oh no wait you look depressed he well the good news is I’ve got a second date with that lady I told you about Caroline that’s great yeah but she wants to get sushi I hate sushi but Caroline loves sushi so I said Hey I
Love Sushi too and now I got to sit across from her and choke on my disgusting lies why don’t you just get the chicken teriyaki why don’t you just get the chicken teriyaki Mort wow wow Ted calm down we can help you we can get you to like sushi really but my dates
Tonight it’s not enough time we’ll see about that I’ll call in a sushi order oh my God this is happening can I get a spicy tuna roll can I get a California Inside Out roll please hold on hold on let me get a pencil should we just be a
Sushi restaurant don’t tell Bob we’ll see if he notices hm is that Edith she’s really struggling with those bags it’s kind of funny a pee and poop oh God all right Edith hey uh do you need a ride oh Bob I just iron in the store I tried to avoid
You okay so no ride then H I’ll take a ride yes that’ll be very helpful oh great then hop in your car looks like it has ants it does I feel bad for them so you were walking really far huh I can’t drive my car right now oh is there
Something wrong with it no I have fits bad ones oh what does fits mean exactly fits fits or we could just not talk here what are these pills hold on to the bottle if I start to have a fit just put one in my hand great I’m so glad we’re
Doing this B would you do me a favor another one I just need to make a quick stop I wouldn’t trouble you but it’s so hard being older and not being able to drive okay I guess a quick stop would be fine Edith all right Guys and Dolls
We’re going to learn the Charleston first you wiggle that finger then you chle those knees a wiggle wiggle wiggle a jigle jigle jiggle oh my God this is so cute I love it I’m dying G look at Colton he’s just picking his nose till present time that’d be a great neighb
For his autobiography Lise give colon a chance I’ll slap her in the glasses remember to wiggle your finger sorry colon doesn’t deserve all those presents and he certainly doesn’t deserve our perfectly fine off brand puzzle toy we should take it back what no I think that’s against birthday party etiquette
Well I follow David arut and that guy does whatever he wants plus I really don’t think you’re right about him Louise oh yeah prove me wrong all flapper in a glasses I’m wiggling damn it finally wa she’s walking really fast like really fast Drive damn it drive
Let’s move go what’s happening I said on the gas you ass I’m stepping on it it’s an old car Ellen or hbomb never knew what hit her who is elen or HB what is this all about quilting huh quilting what else would it be about my quilting Circle was
Making a quilt to celebrate the town history each member got to do a square but my Square got rejected by the bossy bitty who leads the group Lillian she said the subject matter was inappropriate when I stood up to her she kicked me out of the group wa wait wait
Lilian is the lady you just stole from no that’s Earth so many old lady names today everyone’s supposed to stitch their squares together in a ceremony at the warf Art Center oh it’s a big fancy to do but who’s going to have all the squares
Me uh why did you drag me into this Edith oh I didn’t plan to I was going to H it but then the universe sent me a guy with a filthy car and nothing to lose nothing to lose I I have a family and a business the restaurant you can’t be
Serious let’s talk more pedal huh we have squares to snatch I I’m taking you home grow a pair and then some hair I’m not doing this Edith just get out oh fine you big baby let an old lady gather her supplies and I’ll be Edith are you okay are you having a fit
P p Dam it P here here aren’t you going to swallow it drive me bom what no no this is the easy part then comes the shaking then the spinning are you crazy take the bil you want an old lady’s fit on your conscience Bob can you live with
It yeah fine fine I’ll drive you just take the pill now let’s ride I’m taking off my seat belt it’s chafing my Honkers Edith are you okay I I really think I should just take you to the hospital and not do your plan your plan is very bad do you always talk this much pull up here wait where are we Philip fr’s house this is Mr fr’s house you’re
Going to steal from my kids guidance counselor while I wait in the car relax I’m not going to hurt him quilt people are pushovers you just C mement their needle work and they roll over like a puppy and when they’re guards down snatchy snatchy keep your engine running
Ooh it’s almost bad Mitten time and then it’ll be present time oh won’t that be a treat for Colton H Jean your feet smell really bad I’m airing the MTH all that dancing gave me soggy flapper feet wait I have an idea we don’t just take our
Present back we take our present back and plop Jean smelly socks in the gift bag instead cold sneeking up our Saturday let’s stink up his precious gift table Louise you said you’d give me time just let me talk to Colton he’s not as bad as you think I know it fine Tina
You’ve got until he opens presents then the gloves come off the feet gloves okay here I go hi Colton hi birthdays huh hey could I ask you something bad mitt come on Flappers and Dappers let’s play glasses talking to you Colton get your game face on a dang
It I feel so badly about what happened with the Quilters there are some lovely crafts in this room you didn’t make all this stuff yourself did you oh actually I did oh what are you some kind of secret genius secret genius no no I’m just a dabbler in the Fiber Arts oh my
What is that h i call that needle point break that’s kianu Reeves and Patrick sarn it’s a one in a series actually well in that case I must see all of them y really I I’ve got to get them they’re in the back okay have you seen Conair
Because there are some spoilers in the needle point okay well I’ll try not to look at those parts he has eight Sushi what’s all the stuff it comes with stuff it comes with stuff yeah lots of little stuff you dip it and you dunk it it’s
Like a fun little game I got to put ketchup on it no Teddy no Bob’s Burgers we’re eating sushi what Linda it’s me listen I might need your help Bob where the heck are you you were supposed to be back a half an hour ago well Edith is
Making me drive her all over town to get back at her quilter Circle why why is that Teddy is he okay oh no B I got to go Teddy just ate a handful of Wasabi I thought it was quaca hold on here’s a guacamole it’s that stuff again I got to
Go Bob I got to go have fun with Edith goodby oh my face drive go go go go go go okay okay Edith huh darn it I dropped needle juice oh look at this crummy thing and they rejected my Square my freaks your freaks left here left left left what
Kind of getaway driver are you just toyi over this long you get your come on oh God come on we got to do some Quil G that’s right Drive baby all right smack [Applause] it get that square [Applause] Baby Bo Come on B that sign back there said yield you didn’t really yield yeah it kind of felt amazing you’re an animal I am well we saved the worst for last the head of the quilter circle the horses who rejected my Square lilan great you you deal with that I’ll do the sitting and waiting and
Driving cool yeah you forgot sweating nice pit stains cool guy yeah it’s a problem all right next croquet group you’re up can I get a picture Colton finger got a feel for Colton’s parents they’re working hard out there and Colton’s giving them nothing I’m going
To hit my ball towards Colton so I can try to talk to him again oh that didn’t go very far let me hit again that didn’t go very far let me hit it again now I’m getting it now I’m getting it oh my God he’s still so far away it’s not worth
Slowly tapping your way over to him Tina sometimes people are as terrible as you think they are if you can’t handle reality you should have stayed inside of mom that was an option hey I know we’re in the past but let’s move into the presents as in let’s open some presents
Everyone looks confused it’s fine it’s fine time’s up Tina Jean start the stock removal process no woo I made that I’ll take those oh my God we’re going to kill him wait wait pre-present portraits give me the anticipation give me the jealousy SM you later what are you doing
Hi I was just uh what’s that smell were you going to take back my gift and wrap dirty socks instead whoa slow down what you’re describing as a felony probably no I think it’s hilarious what you do yeah it would drive my parents nuts this was all their idea they want everything
To be perfect all I wanted was a pizza party for me and my imaginary friend pizza party pizza party nice thanks I’ll tell him anyway dad said that wouldn’t look good on so me so me yeah my mom are always telling me to act more postable
Well for someone who didn’t want a big party you seem pretty excited to open those presents yeah because after that everyone goes home I want to get to that part voters voters everybody straighten them out it’s fun to have straight boers I’ll get the bird’s eye babe # Colton’s Gatsby day G #
Barf uh sir the lady you drove here with is having a fit and Technically she’s not our responsibility so oh my god there you are p take it dresser dra what her room’s behind you the square in a dresser I’m not getting it Eden then I’m not taking the pill oh fine watch
Her I I’ll be right back I hate this I hate this I hate this I hate this I hate this Sergeant bosow is lilan Sergeant BOS find what you are looking for I’m better now we’ll be going he’s my lover by the way hi you’ll stay right where
You are the other Quilters warned me you be coming my son is a police officer he’ll be here any minute he’ll plant drugs on you he’ll plant drugs on all of you let’s go hot stuff oh oh stop them oh my God oh my God oh my God oh my
God oh my God woo now this is how you quill well that was maybe the worst thing I’ve ever done really this is a pretty good day for me now point this nut Rod that way and drive me to my store you called me to find your missing
Quilt square mother this is ridiculous your brother would care about my quilt you only visit when they have a hot fudge Sunday bar that is not true listen I look into it is today hot fudge Sundays no damn and I’m going with you all right fine are there cookies you may
Have one cookie yes oh wow look at that hold it up higher turn your head you’re loving this you’re loving this it was right in front of us all along can’t believe we got it so wrong well actually I sh we all got it wrong there’s got to
Be something we can do for this kid well if he thought my dirty socks were funny let’s give him my Underpants o o or my sports bra here we are goodbye Edith goodbye Bob is well I’ll say after you drive us to the war Art Center ceremony starts in
20 minutes step on a chubs are you kidding me no time to discuss if the cops are on our Trail it’s the first place they’ll look ah how’s it going back there Harold let going take it easy on the bumps chump he’s a bad driver yeah terrible learn to drive what do you
Even doing I thought the plan was just to take everyone’s squares this is phase two phase two they’re expecting a quilt at the war art center and Harold and I are going to give it to him oh unbelievable oh pipe down soon this will be over and you can go back to your
Boring little was that you Edith yes excuse me take one of your gas pills par okay wait gas pills you mean these hey how come Fatty’s got your fart meds has he got the Toots too teral so you don’t really get fits I get farts close enough is it
Even true that you’re not allowed to drive the car’s in the shop same thing oh this is incredible you tricked me do you know how much trouble I could get in Edith not to mention my family my wife was probably worried sick this is the only thing I care about in this world
Right now eat it both of you out of the car come on Harold Harold the quilt the quilt oops is that your Square what’s on it what do you care it just looks incredible maybe it’s the freak Show the freak Show yeah used to be down at the Wonder Warf it
Was a big part of this town for years that’s too face Tommy it’s Howie the pin head bearded Becky tattooed Larry and His companion pumpkin head Gary there’s righty the left-hander that was freaky back then uh who’s that the the little girl that’s well that’s me my parents
Worked on the warf the freaks looked after me kept me out of trouble but Lillian thinks the freaks don’t belong on the town’s history quilt she thinks they’re shameful just cuz their nipples are three times as long as ours well let one guy at least oh that’s uh kind of
Sweet I I I don’t know what to say go home Bob Harold and I will take the bus no you won’t get back in the car both of you what I just got out of the car do you know how hard it is for me to get in
And out of cars Harold do what the man said all right thank you Bob don’t thank me Edith well you know what thank me yeah I just did stop flirting with my wife she’s spoken for Take the Long Way to the art center Harold needs more time he’s a slow so I
Am not all right I’ll take the long way but I’m worried BOS is looking for us keep your eyes peeled is that a joke about my cataracts no but that’s kind of funny it’s closed I give up oh of course you do who are you calling cab hopefully
The other Quilters I think I know where that crazy bag of bones is heading get in the car we’re going to the warf Art Center I’ll just do all my other police work later I guess last present ooh look at the light everyone gather up Colton nose finger separate them G they’re all
Over them you know what enough’s enough wait what this one’s for you Colton uh little girl finger we got other Pickers at the party come on don’t be shy wait what’s what’s going on don’t be afraid to double barrel it absolutely not no double barrel yes double barrel that’s
It that’s it nice uh house tell me about these sconces the sconces are from Florence and there’s a whole story there but right now you need to tell me why you’re trying to ruin Colton’s party it’s not my party what did you say sweetie the part’s really for you guys
What do you mean I think what he means is sometimes we do things for our kids but they’re not really for our kids I mean not that I have kids that I know of Colon’s saying this party is one big photo op what that’s ridiculous oh my
God it’s true it is it is you kids don’t get it I mean everybody that I work with has such beautiful photo feeds every weekend this family is petting a manay that family is jumping off a dude during a fireworks display where do they find these fireworks Dunes we’re all looking
For our fireworks Dunes bro so what are we going to do here all right colon one last gift and no pictures nice so we just take pictures with our eyes eyes and save them to our brains God the resolution of my eyes is so good you’re doing great guys I’ve been taking
Pictures of the inside of my pocket this whole time and I think I posted them all I’m liking them I’m liking them God we’re sick oh crap go go go go oh oh oh shoot them I’m not shooting somebody because my mother tells me to again a these bozos there’s the quilt
Thief the queen Bob beler I thought that was your car I didn’t figure you for a queef stop saying that like it means quilt Thief hi I’m the director of exhibitions the sewing ceremony for the quilt celebrating Town history is that still happening or it’s happening but
This woman will play no part in IT hand over the quilt Edith come and take it Lillian yeah bring it now now no need for this to get nasty give the quilt to me nice and easy wait everybody Edith Square just give it a chance listen I I
Know what Edith did looks bad and I know she’s difficult possibly horrible and yes Edith wants to put freaks on the quilt and that might not sound very pretty oh enough what on Earth does Edith see in this man but Edith knew the Freaks and they were regular people they
Were good people sometimes we judge people on what we think we know about him but that’s wrong just take a look at Edith Square beautiful needle work Wonderful detail on the nipples so who votes to give this quilt to the warf Art Center do you vote on things no we vote
Sometimes we vote no we don’t all those in favor all those suppose nay sorry Lillian looks like the freaks stay on the quilt staying on the quilt yes uh Bob my mom’s all R up about this I was wondering if uh you could help me out
Get in the car per you’re making a big mistake Bosco yeah we’re not going quietly punk ass poo poo thanks I’ll drive you around for a while then drop you off somewhere inconvenient and let that be a lesson to you crazy queefs so you spent your whole day with
Edith how was that actually great you guys spent your whole day at that weird party how was that it was medium fun actually I may take up nose picking God speed I had a big day too I taught Teddy had to stop hating Sushi really how’d
You do that well I mean I kind of taught him great place so glad we’re eating here and now I will have some sushi what the O quacamole God oh God I never thought Andy would beat me in the leaping up the bus stop bench game but that was one hell of a leap I don’t know about the leaping off the bus stop bench game anthy almost broke his leg I didn’t say he stuck the landing wait
Ollie you didn’t skin your knee he hit my leg with a rock so I could feel what he feels you’re welcome oh hello freem mirr that someone carelessly left on the curb for children to find okay how are we smashing this anyone got a bowling
Ball or maybe we could just use it to make sure we’re not vampires and we’re not a few maybe we could point the mirror up and Signal an airplane and then maybe we could become friends with an airplane what no come on it’s a mirror made of glass and glass breaks I
Think Andy’s had enough excitement for one day I need time to recuperate and Center myself and pee also there’s the whole seven years bad luck thing seven years that’s the amount of time Brad Pit spent in Tibet Louis why do you always want to do the most dangerous things all
The time who waa smashing a mirror is not dangerous it’s called fun no just me I mean I think it’s great that you love doing scary stuff that makes me shut my eyes and think when will this be over fine this doesn’t even look like a good
Smashing mirr anyway so I’m just going to leave it for the next perfectly normal kid who wants to smash it we’ll figure out another way to be friends with an airplane hi I’ll take a beer Lou no we we don’t give her beer what’s wrong sweetie you have a rough day is it
School did you think something had one an but then it had a different answer and you’re like what the heck I’m fine we just you know found a perfectly good mirror to smash on the way home and every everybody made me feel weird about it oh I love smashing a good Mira right
Playing with glass isn’t a good idea you could get cut yeah you could get cut I thought that was PARTA the fun it’s just your fun sometimes involves things that terrify Me what’s your point look if I’m too cool and exciting for people then forget them they can just be boring and do their boring stuff don’t smash mirrors because they don’t deserve that I mean they taunt you every day don’t they they really do Louise I guess smashing glass
Can be a little off-putting to some people maybe but don’t give up on those people I mean you don’t want to end up like your father without you know any friends what I have friends no dad has friends Teddy I shouldn’t have made that sound
Like I was going to have a list people come visit dad in the restaurant every day right sir um ignore them okay first of all why is this about me now and second of all I have friends that aren’t paying customers I just you know lost
Touch with a bunch of them back when I was a teenager is it because there were no telephones back then how to go in the kitchen where everyone’s nice to me I mean the dishwasher doesn’t like you I know dumb super smashable mirror I don’t know why people got so dumb about
It oh hey there spider you’re in my room on my left bed but you know what you’re kind of unconventionally cute you would tell me if you were super venomous right yeah you look like you would I like that about you see look at all the friends I
Have in here Jack who’s Jack probably a really good friend oh I know who this is he dinged our car and never called me back a jack okay this is ridiculous I have to have friends I see that aren’t Teddy and the people that buy food from
Us oh hey Cliff who’s Cliff I don’t know Cliff it’s good name though hey I’m going out with Cliff back in a gif I met a better back to school night he was trying to organize a basketball thing for the kids so we exchanged numbers I
Didn’t have the heart to tell him our kids don’t do stuff hey Cliff don’t fall off yourself you can use that he seemed like a person that I could do activities with is is that what people say maybe don’t open with that should I text him
Is it too late it’s never too late for Cliff okay I’ll do it wait no it’s too late oh God I just texted him the letter I what do I do okay give me the phone hey spider you’re still here and you built a web impressive borderline
Showing off but I like it hey I was thinking if we’re going to be roommates I should probably give you a name how do you feel about when known as Spider wait a rock the feebe Phoebe for short you don’t really get excited about things do
You that’s all right I know it’s a great name morning sweetie I need to get your dirty laundry for the wash I don’t know about you but I’m about to start wearing my bathing suit bottoms for underwear oh uh okay uh Spider we got a spider people
Mom no it’s okay this is Phoebe Phoebe this is my mom I know this is a little early to be in the meeting the parents phase but here we are did you say spider here lenda I brought a paper towel dad are you making mom kill a bug for you
Again I’m not making her we just have our roles I bring a paper towel and your mom does everything else he doesn’t like to get his hands dirty like a mob boss hey the spiders with meat we’re friends it has a name arachna Phoebe Phoebe for
Short but never fee she hates that now can you holster the paper towel please Louise we don’t have anything against Phoebe I’m sure she’s great but she’s a spider and they belong outside not in our home where we live yeah and if they come inside our home a restaurant then
We kill them lovingly that’s the contract we all agreed to mostly us not the Bugs what about relocation I hear outside is nice yeah okay uh Louise you want to tell her she doesn’t have to go home but she can’t stay here go get a
Cup a bottle of wine would be a nice send off gesture she’s fine right here people you’re the ones who came in here uninvited I’m not trapping you under a cup sorry kid it’s either outside or oneway ticket to paper towel Town your choice and then I need everyone’s
Laundry also everyone feel free to learn how to do laundry H okay Phoebe pack your stuff you’re too good for this place anyway and maybe she could tell other spiders not to come in here in a nice way no okay oh it’s Cliff he he
Texted me back Cliff that big red dog he has your number that’s the guy your dad’s trying to be friends with I mean we’re already friends kind of I was going to ask him if he wants to hang out wait you’re asking a guy out to prom dad
Prom what’s the theme this year khakis it’s not Dad prom it’s casual and also I’m getting pretty good at texting I just make sure your mother looks at all them first mom you want to run them by me and then Tina can run them by me and then I’ll run them up through
Corporate okay Phoebe out into the world you go to seek your fortune try to avoid the cars and all the bikes and people’s feet God do people always walk so hard okay you know let’s go look in other neighborhood I mean yes it’s our stinky dumpster but
At least you won’t get trampled spiders can’t die of smell can they if so I’m sure our house would have killed you already all right so long Phoebe and hey don’t let anybody tell you spiders are bad I think you’re delightful well I’ll let you get going
Goodbye go on phbe get you got to find cover pal you can’t just hang out there a bird can get you or I don’t know what eat spiders spider monkey don’t look at me like that what what do you want me to do okay new plan we’re going to sneak
Back into the house and no one needs to know because this is just a me and you thing we’re going to stick together stick it’s funny because you’re a spider and you make that sticky stuff look Phoebe if we’re going to be friends you’re going to have to start laughing at my
Jokes okay Phoebe I know it’s not what you’re used to being stuck in a box but I need to keep this living Arrangement Under Wraps because of the whole spiders aren’t supposed to be in the house thing also I hope the Twigs are to liking I
Picked out the ones that look the best for climbing or just casual lounging are you hungry you look hungry I’ll get you something to eat but what do you eat do you like chips Everyone likes chips fine I’ll look it up don’t yell at me okay Little Secret online spider research
While everyone’s down in the restaurant H how spiders like many spiders prefer live prey okay no judgment I’ll just look for the prey that have it coming would you guys want to go to my menu wiping seminar called it’s men you not men me okay uh taking off trash totally normal
Part of my job someone’s on the ball today kind of jealous I didn’t get to do it first Louise hold on a sec that B’s half empty some people might think that Mom but I’m an optimist so to me it’s half full of dreams and rotten food and
We don’t want it to attract bugs do we okay anyways don’t wait up all right it’s Cliff he said he’d love to hang out sometime oh he likes you did you tell him the cliff joke I told you tell him you’re busy then say I’ll check my
Schedule and try to make it work no promises though or tell him you’re going to pick him up on your motorcycle in five then get your ass on motorcycle look at you middle-aged buddies you two going to talk about documentaries and how many times you get up at night to
Pee Oh Cliff just added me to a group chat with some other dads from school that hang out together sometimes wow he moves fast two of the guys just welcom me to the chat thanks hi guys someone’s the bell of the ball one of them just
Wrote just a bunch of dads to the Bone I’m going to write something funny back um Dad Boys 2 like the movie oh God can I delete oh oh no wait one of them laughed thank God waa someone’s getting some texts dad’s in a group chat with
Cliff and some other cute boys I mean they may be cute we don’t know and they’re men Bob’s on a group chat with people like friend people that’s great that’s nice that’s great Bob’s trying to make a friend that’s not a customer whoo whoa whoa customers can be friends best
Friends but hey you want me to stop coming in here to eat is that what you want I’ll stop if that’s what it takes for our friendship just make me like 200 burgers and I’ll never step in here again unless it’s in Disguise it’s okay Teddy we’re we’re friends huh what’s
Taking Louise so long with the trash Tina Jean you want to check on your sister okay hopefully she didn’t accidentally fall in the dumpster while throwing the trash out which has never ever happened to me maybe switch you to vibrate Bob just kind of rubing it in
Come on flies let me catch you I’m totally not going to feed you to my spider Lise what are you doing nothing just uh throwing out the trash and uh trying to catch flies and put them in this Tupperware thing because that’s always been a hobby of M mine okay
Listen I didn’t let Phoebe go I HIIT her in a shoe box in my room and now I got to feed her since she can’t catch her own food who rescued who am I right yeah so uh if you help me catch some bugs I’ll let you watch me feed her cuz she
Eats live bugs I mean she doesn’t eat live bugs she does come on if you guys had a secret spider I’d help you feed it didn’t we always promise each other that I thought it was a secret alien robot agreement I guess that was very specific
To The Iron Giant I guess I’ll help me too flies usually land on me eventually hey pH how’s it hanging you know like hanging from your web little spider humor so Jean and Tina are here hi hello there we caught you some flies for dinner Tina want to do the honors uh not
Really also I don’t know how we’re going to get them out of the container without them flying away tell them they want a free night in a fancy shoe box Resort but they have to listen to a presentation about a time share I think we just shake the container and dump
Them in I’ll do it shake shake shake and bu Appetit oh it looks like she’s wrapping it in a little blanket to keep it warm and oh she’s giving it a kiss nope does this make us accomplice to murder now I’ll never be able to run for Congress you’ve been getting so many
Text messages your little phone’s going to be sore I feel like this is more than I talk to like you guys but I don’t want to go silent right I’m just going to say haha and hope that works oh Chad’s texting me he won’t be in tomorrow for
Lunch because he bought a bunch of Sandwich stuff and he’s going to try this making sandwiches thing he’s not going to get it right away but tell him to stick with it hey Cliff just invited me to hang out with them tonight W that’s short notice but I think I can
Get you ready okay there’s the dryer laundry’s done everyone’s getting clean sheets tonight won’t that be weird Louise I’m going to start in your room and you get to help because of your wonderful L bed that makes change in sheets so easy no no no no don’t go in
There uh I can do it I want to do it I should learn in case you and dad die but you will I assume one day never we’ll get them to start taking eonia and they’ll live forever okay Y no that’s not working what about nope yeah I’m not
Doing this it’ll be fine who needs cheets okay good night feeo oh no no no no where’d she go where’d she go where’d she go uh-oh phoe’s missing smart money says the Flies did It Phoebe why didn’t you stay in the Box you mean The Shoe Box you trapped a wild spider in yeah I don’t know what’s phoe’s problem that’s one of the top three boxes we have okay she has a belly full of flies so she can’t be moving too
Fast hopefully she hasn’t made it to the living room cuz Mom and Dad are in there watching that show about England I think it’s called Queen time yeah seems like dad’s stalling he’s nervous about his dad date of course he’s nervous it’s Cliff okay she’s not in here fan out
Jean you go that way Tina you go that way I’ll go this way watch her step and if you see her let’s have a signal say along Kea dingdong oh right spider so are you uh going out tonight or what or no yeah I I’ll I’ll probably go they’re
They’re out out of place so they’re already there I can just show up late you know or or really late I’m just gearing up to you know put shoes on and then I’ll pick an outfit it’s part of my process of hanging out with with friends
Yeah sounds like you do it a lot and I think it’s fine you didn’t shower what oh oh boy yeah it doesn’t matter they’re dads they probably smell too maybe it’ll be a nice ice breaker this one smells really bad this one’s okay maybe I can
Just angle my body this way all night you can start that now I’m kidding I’m kidding I’m used to it I just try not to breathe so much so we didn’t find her that means she’s either in the living room or in mom and dad’s room you guys
Got to get Mom and Dad out of there so I can look for her Tina you take Mom Jun you take Dad get them into your rooms and keep them there uh okay I can do that no problem I’ll just tell Mom we’re looking for for a spider no no don’t
Tell her that tell her anything but that right right sorry I’ll tell Dad I want to have the talk with him to talk about my ingrown toenail and just toe Health in general wow you agreed to come in here and talk to me really fast well
It’s not because I don’t want to go out with the other dads Because I definitely do okay good to know so what did you want to talk about um how do you feel about ingrown toenails I mean I have them okay follow-up question what should
We talk about next I guess I put this off long enough enough they’re waiting for me at the bar you sound really into it I’m excited to grow up I better go get dressed in your room no uh I mean you want to borrow something of mine
What kind of look are you going for Bahama Tomy or Rhinestone Cowboy oh I I wasn’t thinking about a look I was just going to put on shoes and maybe change my shirt your mother said things that make me think I should change no don’t change your shirt let me smell ooh
That’s bold it’s like your sweat started sweating no spider all right mom and dad’s room maybe Fe likes middle-aged bras and dandruff all over the place so I’m happy we moved over here to talk about stuff leaning against the bookshelf was a weird idea but it was
Good we tried yeah I like to try things so uh how uh was your day yeah it was good although I did have a sneeze where I farted a little and I think a customer hurt Wow Let’s talk about that what happened next Tina honey didn’t you have
Something you wanted to talk about no this seems much more important now so uh you talk more please okay well I farted uh-huh and I I tried to cover it up with the core but that made me fart again then what did you do I looked over to
See if she was looking at me and then she was didn’t see that coming keep keep going so I grabbed the trash can and I started dragging it around on the floor so it’ make a fart sound so she’d think it was the trash can and not me but it
Wouldn’t make the right sound so I had to fart again and then blame it on the trash can that’s so smart okay enough about me your turn I don’t even know if I can follow that um should we take a few more minutes to unpack your story so
There you were farting and dragging a trash can around I give up wherever you are Phoebe I hope there are plenty of bugs for you to murder no way Phoebe I found you wait Phoebe Phoebe the spider oh hi Dad no Phoebe from friends I see her everywhere
Louise okay fine I kind of didn’t take her outside and she’s been living in my room in a box until now now she’s living in your bed oh my God what what’s going on Louise’s spider is living in our headboard who Phoebe Louise mom is here
Hi Mom dad why won’t you let me brush your back the other dads will love it any chance you guys enjoy sleeping with spiders over your head no okay Phoebe Charlotte’s Web Time spell something fun terrific parents go give her a second L why didn’t you take Phoebe
Outside yesterday I tried but it wasn’t safe out there I couldn’t do it the world’s too dangerous for a fresh faed kid like Phoebe she’s not ready for the bright lights she will be one day Louise sweetie we’re going to have to get the spider out of there somehow it might be
Nice or might not be nice but we got to do it I’m sorry baby no no no no it’s okay I I’ll do it I I got it it’s fine I’ll get her out of there and I’ll take her back to her box and we’ll all be
Happy and we’ll eat live flies some of us and we’ll be this cool blended family that everybody’s jealous of come on Phoebe I can’t get her oh we’re going to get her because I sleep right under there Louise and I know you like her but
I don’t like her as much as you do and I don’t want her to crawl on my face or go in my mouth or ears nose throat all the openings that’s not all of them Jane okay uh what if you guys just sleep in my room with me and this is phoe’s room
Now I’d be open to roommates we could split the utilities I’m sorry sweetie that’s not going to work it’s not fair everyone thinks Phoebe is this scary spider and yeah maybe she’s a little dangerous but not much she’s just trying to live her life but that doesn’t make
Her weird or bad does it I mean does it are we still talking about Phoebe I can’t tell Lou are we possibly talking about you now what I don’t know maybe oh honey come here come on you know all that’s so call dangerous stuff that’s a
Part of who you are but don’t let anyone make you feel like it’s all you are you’re also thoughtful and kind and imaginative part of the big crazy mix that makes Louise Louise your mom’s right you are a little bit of a risk taker maybe compared to some but it’s
One of the things that makes you interesting and it’s not like it’s hurting anyone I mean you know every once in a while but probably not on purpose that much right but Louise your adventurous and in another time you might have been a a pirate a nice pirate
Or a onun Bootlegger ooh Bootlegger anyway we’re all glad you are who you are well that’s thanks guys I like the pirate part that was a nice touch so what should we do about Phoebe please let this work please let this work please let this work oh than God y oh
Bob it’s l are your dad friends still waiting for you uh it’s fine I’d rather be doing this honestly you guys are the only people I really like to hang out with don’t tell Teddy I said that so we’re your only friends which is not sad
At all but like who’s your best friend don’t say Mom you’re all equal but Phoebe the least but just because I don’t know her that well okay Phoebe and I are going to bed we’ll see you all upon tomorrow Louise not that your box isn’t really nice with all the twigs and
Stuff but I don’t think Phoebe likes it in there she did Escape we’ve been through this I’m not taking her outside she’s a house spider I looked it up they gave themselves that name for a reason I I think I know a place where she’ll be
Happy this is a great idea she’s going to eat so many flies for you Dad yep I’m really really glad that we’ll be working together she’s not family so you might have to pay her and I’m kind of taking care of her finances while she gets on
Her feet so you can pay me yeah sure okay we’ll talk about that oh it’s Teddy he says I’m sorry the sandwich was a dis disaster there was blood everywhere it’s okay now but uh I’m got to come into the restaurant tomorrow it’s just easier to hang out at the restaurant because
That’s where you work and it’s where I eat I know it’s late but I need you to text me back tonight now and send sounds good yes we’re back baby ow ow oh boy that’s playy Again Tina if you’re going to lay on the floor at least roll around so I don’t have to mop up later what’s wrong with Tina Pub oh yeah she’s pubbing out right now pretty bad Jordan Sturman moved away and I’ll never play kickball with him again oh you should kill yourself yeah
Jan and Louise be nice you’re going to go through adolesence too you know like that oh sick is she conag shut up Mom watch it you can’t hurt me I’m already dead can I have your mustache then it’s only one hair it’s the beginning of a
Great thing it’s a huge hair I can’t cut it it’s beautiful leave her alone you’re beautiful let me pull you are beautiful let me put my foot on your chest Jean get off enough come on Jean let’s go have a childhood my heart my heart sh sweetie I’m on the
Phone Ginger’s very upset go on Ginger what now come on Tina get up you’re on the grill why come on cheer up you know we’re having fun we are yeah plus it’s a father daughter time why don’t Jee and Louise have to have fun like this Tina
You’re the oldest and you have added responsibilities here like on Saturday morning mornings for example you’re on the grill I can’t trust them on the grill you know that fire comes out of it I know it’s awful all right bye Ginger’s cat died but in a really funny
Way Tina we just saw the most amazing thing ever this might be the best day of my life besides the day you kids were born words can’t explain this you just have to see it come with us go I can’t dad won’t let me leave work I mean fun
He won’t let me leave fun father daughter time you fell for that that’s not a real thing come with us a bob Let It Go all right fine but you’re going to miss when I scrape off the grill it’s the best part of the day although today’s been pretty slow so there’s not
Going to be as much Gunk as there oh everyone’s gone hey are you supposed to lead someone who’s blindfolded it would ruin the surprise where are we going at first we thought it was a break dancing class and then we thought it was a special
Needs class now we think it might be a special needs break dancing class also it’s Brazilian SL hilarious sounds interesting stupid oh it’s even more stupid than you could possibly imagine just wait till we get near it they take off their shoes so when they open the
Door the whole block smells like feet feet that have been cooked in Feet yes still funny can you smell that that sh’s what’s coming through the walls that smells exotic like ranch Dressing wa he’s beautiful that’s a man where are you going I’m signing up for that class what why don’t open the door the smell will kill us all let me go let go of me the feet smell the feet smell Wait what is it it’s Capital era Kaa Tina are you really sure you want to do this yes Dad wait till you see it gyro is amazing I have a DVD oh by the way I need 1495 for the DVD wait what what what’s gyro oi my name is gyro welcome to the
World of capera capera is the most seductive form of self-defense it combines peacefulness fighting and cardio in Perfect Harmony capoa is breathtaking but it is also breath giving you can advance through the stages by earning different colored cords at the troa jordo wow I thought maybe you were doing
It wrong but that’s actually what it looks like they’re bringing the tambourine back that’s a pandero a Brazilian frame drum it’s a tambourine I’m going to get mine those guys don’t know how to shake it I don’t get it I mean what am I looking at here what what
Is it is it some kind of dancing or what is it shyra says it’s not dancing it’s a deadly form of Street Fighting oh yeah well you don’t need some male model to teach you how to fight that’s what dads are for come on I’ll show you some stuff
Box with your old man huh there you go there it is whoa Dana good fight good fight that was fun to watch gyro says if there’s any capera inside me he’ll find it with enough classes gyro knows a lot about life gyro says he can hypnotize animals
But only if they want to be hypnotized sh which they almost always do Tina chyra says toothpaste insults your teeth Tina go to B chyro only needs 2 hours of sleep at night cuz he regulates his heart TAA get out chyro sleeps with his eyes open Tana okay just follow my lead Brazil Brazil class is over we now have an hour of open practice time which is completely optional unless you’re serious about capera oh and definitely stay Tina’s supposed to be here to cover the grill it’s after 4:30 she’s out of cabur class dad the girl’s doing that thing again h
What is your problem with fire you know what go go away go I collect trash and bring it to the dumpster does it have to be from around here or can we go anywhere just go time TR time yesterday I found a necklace it’s time for my afternoon
Meeting you know in the bathroom your 4:30 meeting yeah my 4:30 so go no Tina made a commitment to be here at a certain time I’m going down there to remind her that she has a job here wait what about you meeting well I’m postponing it today Bob you can’t can’t
Do that I’m going to set a time for 10:30 tonight this is why I tell you Bob just have little meetings throughout the day instead of one big one little poops oh that is horrible wash your feet I have an infection Tina tin dad what are you doing here you’re supposed to be
Back at work Tina to cover me for my uh 4:30 meeting Dad oh hello please remove your shoes oh I um I I don’t want to take off my shoes I’m just picking up my daughter Tina oh you are Tina’s father oi my name is gyro like gyate oi M
Mine’s Bob are you sure you don’t want to stick around I enjoy helping elderly men repair their aging bodies thanks but I I got a job I got to get back to and so does Tina plus I don’t really dance although capera incorporates Elements of Dance it is a highly dangerous form of
Martial arts right I’m sure it is yeah it seems like a great way to stand in shape like jazzer size not like jazzer size ni whatever you say class would you like to see a demonstration come on Tina let’s let’s go right now okay okay I saw your movie it’s very
Cute hey you can’t do that just hit me with your hair stop that uhoh Dad let’s go come on give me a second here what about your meeting I just had my meeting right now mhm uh don’t what do we do um grab me that flag no
Dad Tina we’re going to get out of here all right just let me think sh all right I got an idea you go into the corner and yell what go in the corner and start yelling you’re you’re having a heart attack and I’ll run out okay go go fast
Wait come back I’m having a heart what no sh don’t do that that’s a dumb idea dad I’m so embarrassed oh oh are you I’m I’m sorry cuz I’m not embarrassed at all because I just pooped my pants I would do this this every day if I could
Tina no no he’s in the shower now well sometimes it’s hard to feel clean after something like that happens it’s very embarrassing okay kids your father’s very tender right now all right whatever you do do not mention what happened today at Tina’s class just act normal so you pooped your pants Linda
Let’s not talk about it wasn’t a fair fight he’s younger and he’s cute and strong Lind this isn’t helpful hey when you got to go you got to go Linda stop are you on the phone with ginger no I got to go sorry B I’m not laughing at you I was
Thinking about Ginger’s dead cat again Dad Dad Dad yes Louise yes did you know that it only takes 2 lb of pressure to drive someone’s nose blown into their brain that’s what 2 lb that’s it Dad why are you telling me this Louise Revenge Revenger rine Revenger rine Revenger cut
It out Jean all right listen everybody what happened today is in the past and we’re never going to talk about it again ever I’m just glad Tina is quitting the class right Tina but my body needs it your body needs to work in the restaurant with your father oh
Fine if you need me I’ll be down here on the floor dying all right sounds good honey you know you have to learn to groan right Tina hey she groans fine it sounds weird so you Gran then if you’re so good at it uh that’s a groan yeah uh I’ll do it let
Me do it Tina enough already come on Tina it’s your boyfriend oh God oi what do you want I got a message that Tina was very upset and needed to be encouraged to come back to the art of capera a message from who you’re welcome and you’re
Welcome well I’m sorry Tina’s busy she’s working the G it’s okay I’ll wait H well what’s wrong well I’m looking for your fresh squeeze juice selection is it on another menu oh sorry uh here yeah here it is this is the same menu yeah cuz we don’t have fresh squeeze juice fresh squeeze
Juice is stupid that is not how I talk at all yes it is so it’s capara is stupid okay Dad stop oh hello Tina I didn’t notice you that’s okay is everything all right with you Tina my dad won’t let me train anymore Tina what it’s because you made him poop in his
Pants oh my God Tina Bob please there is nothing to be embarrassed about it is quite common for a wounded animal to make a bowel movement as he is defeated by a much stronger Predator hey it wasn’t you it was 4:30 here Bob let me show you some very convenient sphincter
Tightening exercises no no thank you relax I don’t want tight relax stop it tight don’t do sphincter tightening exercises in my restaurant okay fine thank you I’ll be feeling this in the morning J well now my stomach is full of negative energy so I’ve lost my appetite
Which is just as well it’s time for me to go to class Tina you should come with me remember the troa J Cordo is next week the troa J Cordo what’s the troa J C Cordo I feel if Tina trains hard she has the potential to receive a promotion
To yellow cord Tina listen to me you’re not going anywhere I’m your father yes Tina but I am your capoa instructor wait I’m going to class with you Tina what are you doing Dad you don’t understand I understand you’re grounded effective right now Bob Let It Go no she’s grounded Lynn
We all just need a minute to calm down hey Tina you walk out that door and you’re no longer my grill cook dad calm down I I’ll go get her you get out of here you hear me never look back you are dead to us sorry sorry Dad
There’s no getting through to that one thanks Louise that was very helpful big day mhm big big day the troa J cordos I know I know it’s the troka J cordos I told you I’m not going okay fine I’m just going to say it one more time I think that you should come
Support your daughter Linda I just grounded her you let her go Bob I’m sorry okay come on it’s just a phase I know you’re afraid you’re going to lose your little girl that’s sweet but what’ you think she’s going to spend the rest of her life standing here next to you grilling [Laughter] Burgers that’s silly spending the rest of her life standing next to me grilling burgers of course not I mean nothing wrong with it I mean it would be fun Tin Tin chaaa Tin ginaa ginaa we’re ready okay I’m coming I’m sorry Tina I’m not going I love this
Restaurant you can’t abandon the things you love just because of sexy dance fighting if I were a hamburger you’d come watch me fight good job Bob Jean Louise come on we’re going to Tina’s karate concert so you’re uh not going to get revenge today no Louise I’m not okay got
It then I won’t bring your credit card which I cut into a ninja star oh you cut my credit card into a ninja star temper GRE tambourine ninja star credit card tambourine family drama at Bob’s Bergers huh Bob Bob Bobby what Teddy what’s a troa j cordos yeah it’s a ceremony it’s
Like a graduation yeah but this guy’s a creep and I got to Stand My Ground she made a commitment to this Restaurant period exchange of strands what by I just looked up troa J cordos it’s Portuguese for exchange of strands sounds momentous this very day she’s becoming a woman exchanging her strands
Wait that’s what it says yeah that’s that’s what it says it says she’s becoming a woman well yeah check a look what are you going to do about it Bob doesn’t say becoming a woman no read into it it says exchange of strands it’s exchanging strands has nothing about her
Becoming a woman you say Bob what are you saying Teddy I just if my daughter was becoming a woman I would want to be there she’s not becoming a woman she was I’m saying she’s not my daughter you were the one who just said said it again
Get out get out Tedd get out my Resturant I want to pay my bill here’s your bill $416 pervert $4 per pervert who you call it pervert it’s written on the bill here’s your $46 Bob best of luck there’s a million restaurants I can go to then go to them all
Teddy I’m sorry teddy i’ no I blew I blew my stack I’m sorry it’s just she’s growing up so fast also I crab my pants yesterday I know I heard listen I got to close up shop I have somewhere to be so uh you really do have to get up Brazil That’s My
Son oh God Brazil Brazil finish congratulations Neil you have earned your yellow [Applause] cord Tina you’re next all right gotina you’re doing great so glad you came bie she looks like she’s having a good time thank you the test is complete I’m sorry Tina but you have
Failed have a seat the next student testing for her yellow Corda is Janelle hey hey hey hey wait wait wait a minute please do not interrupt the ceremony Bob just give her the stupid cord can’t you see how much this means to her I’m sorry Bob but she did not perform the five
Elementary motions so she will not be receiving her yellow cord what she did better than Neil that kid was a mess out there why oh you know it’s true Tina did all five of the elementary weird motions I think she did that one she did that
One a lot is this because I made you poop your pantalones this isn’t about me it’s about Tina oh is that what you think all right that’s it I’m taking a Corda ow don’t touch ponytail stop that make me fight fight fight fight fight nose
Won nose W into the brain and skin him and wear him like a costume all right Louise all right all right here we go Bobby don’t do this I have to stand up for Tina B Bob look at the clock it’s 4:28 I know Lynn I know and if I poop I
Poop oh Bobby come well hold on it wasn’t ready that time so keep Spinx are tight Bobby I’m okay Lynn use this Dad ow Louise sorry P ow oh press it hey you want some work um ow make him stop Mom Dad was right Gyro’s just a jerk sexy sensual creepy sexy jerk go Dad come on dad d daad da Da thanks te I got him right where I want him ow keep going ow hey nice form thanks sorry gyro knocked you down 25 to 30 times in front of everyone yeah sorry I couldn’t get your yellow cord it’s okay thanks for getting beat up for me anyway I’m kind
Of interested in Russian kettle bell strength training now don’t make me watch this cuz I I’ll show Mom yeah well I have a surprise for you you got a promotion really I get a raise no but you get these yellow dish gloves I present to you your yellow gloves so
Much fun well we better get going yeah that dead seal down at the pier isn’t going to poke itself wait wait hold on you two are working today what we’re not on a schedule today read learn how to read the schedule that you write team
Honey we’re giving you the day off go do something fun do you know where this dead seal is what’s that about it’s a dead seal Mom it’s a washed up seal they go poke at it we’re going to slap it it makes a great sound and I sample the
Slaps sounds like an orgy I like dead seals but I think I’m going to stay here instead I’m actually having fun at work today besides it’s our father daughter time a sucker team run run run run run run to the Seal And your heart rate is six I might have missed a couple you know what they say in medicine close enough moving on to the hearing test raise your hand when you hear the tone I smell it but I don’t hear it what are you doing practicing I’m earning my
Thunder girl’s nursing patch by helping out the new school nurse today if anyone should be getting a nursing patch it’s me I nursed forever yeah you did my little suckling duckling good times I’m only allowed to dispense ice and Band-Aids but I think I’ll get a lot out of
It it’s butt fever worst case I’ve ever seen his butt won’t make it through the night not on my watch stting compressions doctor I need 50 cc of ice live damn it live it’s a miracle so anyway I’ve got a real Zeal to heal here we go what’s in
The box Bob whatever it is I call dibs well something kind of exciting what new stool tops look oh nice huh yeah no cracks no tears a little more cushion is that what you said when you met mom now which which one’s the old one the new
One really well the one that he’s holding this is the new one this is the old one obviously oh that’s the new one no this one oh that’s that’s the new one not attached I like it CH it changes it but it doesn’t change it yeah it’s like
You cloned the stools and did nothing to improve them but made them better yeah right you people don’t understand well let’s give the old stools one last spin I got the ice patient as male 13 wrestling injury sneaker versus crotch oh God still don’t know how to kick
Myself in the beans but that’s wrestling for you grind kick great I’ll call for a medac give me some of that orange flavor tubble baby aspir stat nursel isn’t a nurse feel good Zeke oh she’s giving you some pretty slow today well a slow day in the nurse’s office is
A good day right wrong Tina I didn’t become a school nurse because no hospital would hire me of course not I mean that was part of it but I got into nursing to help seriously sick kids but kids have to do their part and get seriously sick I get it you want your
Life to be like Heart Locker but nobody’s getting hurt by their locker exactly it’s always scraped this and Bruise that and never epidemic this or outbreak that well maybe things will pick up you never know who’s got coties right h a gentleman I’ve been seeing says I should be was spontaneous so I’m
Starting right now Pop Quiz Pop Quiz Mr Bon do I look sweaty to you I’m feeling kind of hot and vomity that happened fast your quiz happened fast fast things happen maybe I should go to the nurse’s office if I can make it I’m so woozy oh well excuse me Sor am I
There yet just go already Louise is that you Grandma I’m in the barn go my inhaler is almost empty Tommy lroy thought it was an air freshener and took it into the bathroom with them we don’t have any extra inhalers Rudy but how about this hold your arms over your head
And only breathe when you need to okay here we go I needed to oh hi Louise hi I have like a 45 minute bug I picked up first period or maybe it’s a popped Quizilla oh my God is winking one of the symptoms yeah I’m just going to park it
Over here until I make a miraculous recovery after the snap I’m so sick of people not being sick well the important thing is we’re here when someone really needs us hello I was in PE and we were going to climb ropes and I began to feel a little
Gouty you’re nice I’m cramping that’s the last one wow I hardly recognized the place where am I go ahead Teddy try one out yeah be our stool sampler well I’d be watered oh Deddy jeez you really planted your flag in that thing that that wasn’t me it came out of the stool
Oh sure no really look oh no this one farts too so does this one and this one but not this one oh this one does do no no no they all do it they look sweet but they’re full of farts just like the kids GH what’s up Universal nerd care
Hey Tam Tam you’re all that in a hat seriously way to accessorize yeah I’m doing indoor hats now it’s a game changer hi Tammy what’s wrong my nails are gross can someone here file them um that’s not really what we do oh um it will be when you do it I noticed you’re
Scratching your head yeah maybe I’m trying to think of something now I’m wearing a hat hey hats are fun wa as advertised what’s so fun about this oh well I think I’m through the most quizzical part of my illness good day wait wait wait wait hey Louise we got a
Fun hat I already got a fun hat keep yours company come on girl see now let’s all switch shoes don’t know why you’d be scratching unless it’s it could be oh my God yes lice like lice lice that Hat’s infected you’re all exposed we’re in quarantine people quarantine no I was actually crap
It is on no Tina put a rubber glove on your head oh I’m doing that too okay M buz I’m ready to take the pl quiz I can’t believe Tammy gave us light I’m it than a pair of burlap pants I can’t have lice I go to private school
This is public school what I just hope my body is strong enough to fight off lice and Asthma at the same time nope Tina I don’t like this I have that thing where I can’t stand huge tables blocking oh you’ve never mentioned that nurse Liz can I borrow some cotton balls to restu
My obesity puppet portion control Joel what’s uh going on we have a serious lice outbreak at waga Mr frond okay so we phone the parents and get the kids picked up we could call parents but let me tell you what I’m hoping for afraid of super lice super lice super what it’s
A strain of lice that’s evolved to be treatment resistant every time it’s not completely destroyed it comes back even stronger like Mark Haron oh my God Parents can’t handle superlice parents helped create super lice parents are stupid or maybe you love parents I I don’t parents are terrible then we keep
Them out of it and handle it here that’s the plan that doesn’t seem like a good plan Tina don’t be a giant bummer we’re doing the plan yes a fart sound listen to it again no that was the stool I want them fixed Bobby I install them let me talk
To him hi this is Teddy Bob’s handyman and best friend I know I know you can get a little hot Mediterranean blood you know I’m not Mediterranean oh I got it we hired someone to play the trumpet real loud anytime anyone sits down they’ll never know well that explains
Everything that’s so simple why did I think of that okay byebye well the guy says the stools just do that they just do that well until they’re broken in a year or two tops a year or two we we can’t be the farty stool restaurant that’s not good for business oh we’re
Going to have to break them in ourselves good idea Bobby all butts on Deck come on can you move down one Bob I’d like a little Privacy to get a handle on this superlice outbreak we we need to know who else has been exposed to Tammy’s Hair great idea why don’t you let me out and I’ll comb the hallways no pun intended we have fun open the door you open open up got this you can’t do
It I know Tammy give me your phone you can give someone lice over the phone oh prank calls just got fun again no selfies they thought they were posing for a picture with Tammy’s head what they got was so much more hi it’s joclyn live from the
Nurse’s office I’m filling in for Tammy cuz guys Tammy’s got super lice hi Tammy I see you hurry up and get better no take your time I’m here with nurse Les so what are super lies well Joceline they’re parasites they live on your hair and chew your head and then drink the
Blood out of your scalp by sucking it out using their little Lous bodies as straws oh my God stop talking and then they poop on you Joselyn and lay millions of lice eggs kids with lice are bad right no they aren’t bad but they are disgusting and we want to protect their identity
Unrelated will The Following 16 children report to the nurse’s office for a uh neck exam Jimmy pester Jr Lenny Deano Michael carish Tracy Schwarz super ly so you’d like to reserve the whole restaurant for a post funeral Meal m today it’s short notice but the mortian next door recommended you highly oh
Sorry for your loss Lyn take a break oh sorry uh excuse us we’re just in the process of uh uh Cali in our sitting equipment yes it would be about a dozen people some of them are elderly and obviously grieving Teddy stop we we’ll
Be ready bye two oh my God I mean uh yes see you then have a great funeral Tammy selfie sh lies a lot of kids yep these selfies went viral literally my lights are going over to Andy’s head and my lights are going over
To ol’s head hello hello bye 1 2 3 oh God that’s a lot heavier than I expected Louise I don’t think you’re supposed to move that table but it looks terrible here let’s try and by the trash can you can’t leave Louise it’s just a bitter
Pill you have to swallow but it’s not a real pill cuz that would be medicine I can’t dispense I know Tina you’re drunk with lack of power there’s one selfie on Tammy’s phone I can’t identify you can see just a little bit of hair and sweater whoever it is could be walking
Around with lice and not even know it like I’ll ever truly know how cute my butt is good news everyone I found a cure for superlice finally that’s great I’m not a hero Tina I’m just doing my job I didn’t you a hero Oh I thought you
Did I get to go first then I want to reward for being brave like a smoothie or a Prius so it’s quick all natural but pretty Cutting Edge bring on this wonder drug it’s probably him yeah is it a pill or a shampoo I use at home or just give
It to I’m shaving heads what oh and burning hat no no my hair and my ears why does everything bad happen to me it’s happening to us too Tammy well not really cuz you’re not blonde neither are you you shut up right now you better
Shut that down shut it up um nurse Liz this sounds like pretty aggressive treatment yeah and Tina you get to hold the kids down uh anyone comes after me they’re going to get an eye full of cherry throat spray do us do us I heard children screaming from down the hall as
A counselor I’ve learned that screams can actually be a cry for help she wants to shave our heads and I don’t even know how much to tip well then that’s what’s going to happen Mr frond your hair and sweater match the mystery selfie oh well
I might have leaned in for a selfie I on top of Trends oh I I’m I’m sure I didn’t get lice hold him Tina no please I I have a date I have to match my picture it’s already not very close a date with someone besides my ant Gale maybe Tina you’re hurting
Me darn it jammed before too much of my hair came off here we go crap treatment is postponed while I get these fixed hey just change the side of your partone and no will even notice I’m fighing here Bob I lost my mechanics I’m all up in my head yeah I
Got to take a break too my kles are giv out we got to keep going very sad people will be here in an hour oh trying to get the fir out of stools huh yes you have experience with this yeah I had a vinyl seat in my mail truck with the same
Problem children laughed at me before that I was the cool mailman Mike’s right we can’t do this alone we got to accept help from friends I don’t think I offered to help when the Amish wanted to build a bond did they do it themselves no Kelly McGillis took a sexy sponge
Bath and she got Harrison Ford to pitch in the arms really know how to bathe but there’s no time how do we get the word out is someone say free beer where where’s free beer oh yes I’ll make a sign after a couple of beers this stuff pretty much delivers itself party
Party we got to get out of here maybe someone’s already dug a tunnel behind that cat poster we’ll just peel it back and uh okay no tunnel well we’ll dig with ourselves with these popsicle Stacks oh it broke oh man people are going to call me CU ball I wanted my
Nickname to be eightball I haven’t been bald since I was a baby I cried all the time and my dad just built me a scrunchie closet so I’m picking up some negative feedback about shaving everyone’s hair off maybe we send kids home kick this can down the road a little bit no I’m
Saving heads by shaving heads I’ll be the school nurse that beats super lice and when I go to my nursing school reunion I won’t even need a name tag though I’ll probably wear it anyway if they have one for me cuz why not I don’t want to be weird about it it’s happening
Tina I’m not going to be the only freak around here with a shaved head hey I fixed Them Bob it’s working I think the fs are going down we just might make it ly marshmallow is here and she brought her rear oh hey marshmallow hey baby okay where to start with Louise oops oh you’ve stopped me I’m just here plug it right into the
Wall now you’re exposed so let’s talk again again about who’s getting shaved and who’s good and better eyebrows that’s commitment uh nurse Liz you look like someone who should be lying down under observation she also looks a little like Michael chickless come here Louise uh nurse Liz you’re on a roll move the
Table Everybody Run I’m not really feeling up to running okay stop those ly kid so you finally saw the light huh about time yeah I didn’t notice it until she was bald and sweaty but nurse Liz is kind of insane which way do we go I can’t handle choices right now we’ll
Have a better chance if we split up half go left half go right go oh we’re the only ones who chose right we weren’t right I thought this was never mind you go after those two how you don’t have to push me I’m on your side God oh follow me and I know
This school like the back of my hand yeah this is where the dead end is good good good all right let’s go nice and easy no wait lice and easy good one it’s just interesting to see your process how long do we have to run I just like to
Say you’re the last person I wanted to be escaping with okay I would just like to say that I am not escaping with you we are escaping separately together well let’s just run in that talk okay fine stopping now you down there stop them no way man they’re going to lice us the
Library in here the library ew e oh my God we can make it out through that window then we’re safe but Mr Ambrose can see the window from his desk all right let’s just hunker down here and wait for him to get up it won’t take long he hates his job what’s this medical encyclopedia oh God don’t open
It you’ll get books smell everywhere thank you thanks everybody thanks for helping man my cushion did some pushing all right the funeral people will be here any second but I I think we’re ready H I’m still a little worried about that third stool there was the Gest one what really oh God they’re
Here welcome welcome sit sit anywhere the booths are nice I’ve always been a booth man myself they call me the booth fairy uh sorry the counter looks nice mhm oh God the third stool oh are you the Widow oh yeah we have a VIP booth for you for for widows ow stop shoving
No no I’m not I’m helping ow I’m helping okay sit it anywhere whatever you want oh my damn it sorry poop ooh unless H could be I I can’t tell Daddy can you get in there was it the seed or was it her I’m checking it out right now
Bob it’s real it’s a real one all right oh wow it’s a real one yeah oh now I’m getting it it’s definitely H arise Roger would have loved this place huh oh my God ring oh hello a li praying emergency I’ll be right there now’s our
Chance lice alert we have reared most of the infected students oh no Louise vure and Tammy Larson remain at large if you have any contact with them turn them in and then turn yourself in because you have lice she got the others sucks for them okay let’s go
Wait we got to go back what no I know I know but I have a gross feeling that we should help the others and I have an idea and I need you which is also gross here’s the thing I hate helping I’m out the window wa no guys we’re in the nurse’s office
Where nurse Liz is going to shave kids’ heads while we watch this microphone’s heavy I’m going to put it down no don’t do that okay hold it nurse wacky oh look what the light Dragged In really not liking this plan I have information Tammy is patient zero but she doesn’t
Have lice she has dff look at it look at the Glorious dandr it’s snowing old people of dandr I’d rather have life but why are we all scratching D just not contag this it’s psychosomatic the power of suggestion just say the word lice and everyone itches their heads oh my God
Stop it Louise nurses please read from this medical encyclopedia The Marked passage how dandruff is often misdiagnosed as lice like how my asthma was misdiagnosed is having a bad attitude uh I don’t need to read it because obviously Tammy has dandruff and lice dandruff and lice mhm she’s a mess
Oh my God that’s not good yeah you can have both oh sorry Dar Louise I was out the window where were we no there’s Liz read the book it’s over Tina read the book God I could read it but reading right kids right yeah she gets
It you can’t read it because you don’t have your glasses what what are you trying to say I don’t even I noticed you squinting then I noticed the little marks on your nose I have them too I always thought Tina wore fake glasses to hide
Those I left them at home okay I got in the car and I thought it was going to be that thing where I say where are my glasses and then it turns out they’re on my head but they weren’t they’re not right no and that’s why you couldn’t
Have seen lice on Tammy’s head nice one t all right yes maybe I saw what I wanted to see is that such a crime you really want a nurse with no imagination kind of preferably screw it I’ll just skip the reunion I don’t want to show up there
With a bald head again I get it you had a Zeal to heal but you forgot to keep it real okay can you sign this form so I can get my nursing patch that’s not the right place oh you can’t see that’s my hand so Tammy what’s next for you I do
The interviews Joselyn what’s next for you no I have the microphone so like what’s next for you no what’s next for you Joselyn in your journey to give me the microphone I think it’s my microphone right now get off it right now get off it so gross you’re gross
You’re my best friend you’re my best friend I love you there you are Louise there’s still time to take your pop quiz Top Quiz all right wo my leg oh Louise your leg it’s all twisted it’s like totally facing the wrong way we need to
Get this girl some ice you got to be kidding me don’t just stand there labons get the damn Ice How was school kids actually pretty great so there I was at the drinking fountain yeah yeah yeah yeah my day was better I won the contest I entered we won the lifetime supply of insoles no the winthop man a lop oh I can’t believe your father and I get to stay at the
Actual estate where they film my favorite show and we get to act like the winthor characters wait I I knew the first part what was the last part act like the windso Up characters still sounds wrong we get to stay at the house where they film your favorite faite TV
Show yes and act like the characters from the show what part of lar don’t you understand what’s a lar live action rooll play jeez Dad read a book and act it out all the guests will be in character all weekend oh God why why couldn’t you have won a normal contest
Because this is the show I love Bob winthor Manor is the American down ABY I thought that was Mike and Molly it weaves a colorful tapestry of what life was like in 1901 for America’s wealthiest textile family and the men and women who had the privilege to serve
Them Tina maybe you should go instead of me okay oh sorry baby kids can’t go I guess they didn’t have kids in 1901 they were all working in factories getting covered in soot oo lucky so who’s watching us this weekend a pushover not a pushover we prefer a pushover your
Good friend Teddy oh the pushover us all right off we go back in time try not to alter the future I hope you pack toilet paper I think back then it was just sheep I always do Lynn it’s been 3 hours of this same song I know look Bobby there it is
Windor Mana that is wow I’m telling you Bobby this is the life I was supposed to have I was born 100 years too late God’s done some good work but he screwed up my birthday hi are you lers we are I’m Marshall Nancy Charlene I’m
Linda look at me I’m wheezing up a storm like Bice the cook when the squirrel got into a [Laughter] Pantry oh I I I’ve never seen the show I know I know it’s awful it’s awful there we are all done we are going to have a
Weekend to fun with this thing Jean you want to wear the engine’s hat yeah nope I’m going to wear it I’ll let you wear it later all no it’s my back I threw it out should we call doctor or just go ahead and put you down no no no I just need to
Lie here for a couple of hours it fixes itself I get it bro I do that even when my back’s not out sure this isn’t ideal but we’ll still have fun tell me what’s the train doing uh it’s going around I knew it so did you just die
When you found out you won the contest yes I died and now I’m in heaven Hey where’s your plus one oh we do separate Lars it works for us did everyone here win the contest no just Linda and Nancy the rest of us have the honor of paying
A lot of money for this experience look someone’s coming esteemed paying guests and contest winners I welcome you to winthorp Manor my name is Mr Perkin and I am The Master of Ceremonies do we have any experienced larpers in the group right here my name’s Ernie I’ve done the uh Star Wars
Lar the tolken lar the world according to GARP lar okay so then you know that while you’re here you will be randomly assigned characters you will sleep in the room of your character eat the food they ate and wear their clothes I can’t believe it William the under Butler oh I
Love William I’ll be the best William I can be with a keen sense of Duty and I’m deaf in my right ear starting now Oliver the footman what oh Oliver the footman oh oh oh oh hello Oliver oh I’m so nervous okay here it goes okay wow Nancy Mrs winthorp good for you
I can’t believe it come on Linda let’s see who you get to be okay here I go Iris Mrs winops maid goodie we’ll be working together well I won’t be working you will for me but we’ll be together yay ah I’m fraking Mr winrop score would all the upstairs characters please get
Into the auto is another car coming for us oh an automobile is a luxury most servants go their entire lives without riding in an auto right right right sure the Long Walk will allow us to talk about current events did you hear about those crazy rat Brothers they’re calling
It an Aeroplane more like wrong Brothers am I right footman Oliver oh God how’s your syphilis um well it’s clearing Up don’t you all look absolutely amazing I trust everyone’s comfortable in your wardrobes uh my uniform is itchy and it smells like mold as it would have in 191 when a servant of your stature would have worn it oh now just a couple of topics to go over while our lar has been
Granted access to every nook and cranny of this famous manner there are just a few restricted areas the South wi the East Wing the central Corridor and the entire third fourth and fifth floors oh at least we get to go into the gorgeous library right oh the library is
Especially off limits we’re not even supposed to look in there H and tomorrow we have a big day planned upstairs guests and their personal servants will be allowed to walk through the famous Tulip Garden that’s you and me thank God I was beginning to think I wasn’t going
To get to do anything exciting why is a walk through the Tulip Garden exciting the Tulip Garden is the pride of the Mana all major plat happen in the Tulip Garden it’s where Humphrey professed his love to Jaclyn on the eve of his wedding to Sicily got it thank you and we’ll
Conclude this lar with quite a bang a decadent seven course meal and the dessert is Mrs wi thorp’s favorite seven layera FL seven layer parfait FL that’s right the upstairs guests will enjoy an exact Recreation of the twoot high parfait that was served in the season
Finale it is not cocktail hour in the drawing room ooh cocktail hour in the drawing room oh which is for upstairs guests oh right remember people this is your lar bring your characters to life and Mr winthorp our Cooks were in fact able to provide you with a gluten-free experience
Nice how’s that steamed broccoli coming along nice and steamy great cuz I promised you folks that I’d feed your healthy meals and we appreciate it m does anyone else feel a little bad I mean I know I wanted to push over for babysitter but this is perfect cuz we
Got a fall over right should we at least bring him dinner sure hey Teddy Teddy you want some dinner yeah that’d be great but not that healthy crab just bring me some ice cream oh I hear this stew is the only dish a servants got eat all weekend it’s everything a servant
Needs right Iris it’s got all your salt for the day it’s time to serve dinner upstairs but we just started eating spoons down this looks a lot better than the stew let’s drop some on the floor and come back for it later good idea oh that’s the burgundy glass oh right oh
Bordeaux at least she knows the wine goes in a glass honey Iris was kicked in the head by a horse she was yeah in season two ah right right well I think the lint Pickers are fairly compensated right babe um Yes dear 5 cents a day is
Nothing to sneeze at 5 cents a day it appears the footman has an opinion on the matter he go ahead speak up oh well well I just think that with a house this uh Grand you could afford to pay your workers more what’s your name footman uh
Bob I mean I Oliver I like your Moxy Oliver the men will be retiring to the drawing room for cigars and Brandy now come join us no oh no that that’s okay yeah it’s valuable for us wealthy men to understand a workers’s perspective yes and you have a fine vigorous mustache
You clearly come from Superior stock oh uh thanks I guess have fun talking men stuff in drawing room which I haven’t even seen yet I’m not going to have fun Lynn I don’t like brandy or cigars one sip one puff and I’ll meet you back in
Our room I love cigars and Brandy I finally get why people want to be rich is it getting late is it bedtime yet uh not quite it’s definitely not 1: a.m. mm- well I cannot keep my eyes open I don’t know why can you toss a blankie my
Way and if I could just trouble you for your least favorite plastic receptacle and a smid your privacy why oh Mom salad spinner that’ll work Lenn shh I’m trying to sleep sorry Lenn what I get the appeal of this place hey when we get home I want to watch
Winth Manor with you what are you doing oh brushing my Livery one of the upstairs guys lent me this brush they invited me on the stroll through the Tulip Garden tomorrow I’m glad you’re having fun what’s the matter it’s just not how I pictured this weekend I mean I
Serve people every day in the restaurant and I thought I was finally going to get a chance to feel like a wealthy upstairs lady ah at least I have the tulip garden stroll to look forward to well if you get all your work done I guess I mean
You are behind uh Mrs winthorp is ringing for you Iris H what does she want I don’t know I’ve been ironing the newspaper which I’m not good at you rang I’d like another pillow would you be so kind as to fetch me one uh sure really you’d better fetch me a bed
Wine a bed wine right away oh come on maybe one more bed wine nope a bed gin you know what just bring them both mhm here’s just a bunch of everything so no need to ring that Bell anymore okay I see that’ll be all then good night maid Iris good night what was
That sweet James morning kids oh wow you’re still right there okay maybe we should let someone besides the floor heal you h fine I guess I should go to my chiropract Dr orus he’s just a few blocks away but how are we going to get
You there you kids have a gurnie we just got rid of all our gurns oh man uh well we’re going to have to build one then okay you may have us confused with kids who know things or do stuff yeah we’re not gurnie mcgyver here we go tool of time and why
Exactly are you here oh I was uh invited to join the stroll oh not you footman Oliver her the chamber Maids are allowed to come on the Tulip garden stroll they are but you aren’t my chambermaid anymore I’m not no after last night I decided to replace you with someone who
Actually wanted the position what Charlene be excited for me Linda you’ll have whatever Charlene’s position was what Blen I’m so sorry I I know how much you were looking forward to it Oliver you coming or not uh I’ll stay behind if you want me to no go go one of us should
Go you sure cuz I mean I hear the Tulips are in pre-bloom which is supposedly even better than full bloom coming Nancy and those upstairs fart faces are walking all over us well Iris I don’t know any Nancy and I’m not familiar with the term fart faces oh
Come on Marshall I know you’re in there and I know you’re just as mad about this as I am okay fine I am angry I paid good money to be here and for what to put some guy’s socks on for him can’t put his own socks on they’re socks put them
On yourself Paul we didn’t come to winthor Mana to snip Wicks no we did not the servants have been stuck downstairs long enough yeah it’s time we go upstairs yeah wait what do you mean I’m talking about a revolts I’m talking about a worker Uprising yeah but first
Let’s finish snipping these Wicks and clean up all the Wicks so it’s nice and neat all right yeah are we sure about this a worker Uprising just seems so impolite yes Marshall we’re making this Lop Oz oh wow those were some tulps more like three lips that’s that’s what we were saying
In the garden yeah you had to be there wait what’s going on can we trust him yeah I think so the servants is going to revolt I see hm interesting sure the servants have been mistreated no one’s going to argue that but we are all experiencing life in one of the Great
American houses we stop pointing that thing around when you talk doesn’t make you sound smarter yes it does so what’s the plan how are we going to pull off an uprising we got to hit him where it hurts dinner we’re going to eat that dinner yes tonight is the seven course
Dinner with a seven layer parfait flambe oh wow they’re going to be pissed good but they’re not going to just let us eat their dinner right we got to find a way to get them out of the house well they’re going to be out of the house at
The shooting party shooting party yeah they’re all going to shoot clay pigeons later I mean I was going to go also I don’t know how this Revolt affects all that I really kind of want to do both mostly this all right so they’re already going to be out of the house we just
Need to keep them out of the house I’ve got a plan does it involve you shooting clay pigeons yes it does because I’ve always wanted to do that but I’ve got an idea that will happen right after it’s my turn to shoot so you guys are sure
It’s okay to take off the bathroom door n it’s my least favorite door just slows you down you got the hammer and the screwdriver yep just start the bottom hinge and and do like I told you tap tap tap tapping now remember someone’s got to hold the door or else it’s I’m okay
Now just flap me on my belly then flop me on the door just line up the door for the money flop isn’t it going to hurt to move you tremendously but no matter how much I cry keep rolling me here it goes stop stop stop a stop stop here comes a second
Po that was horrible but I’m on the door on the doorish what we’ll get it this time Teddy I think I know what we did wrong are you sure the three of us are strong enough to lower you down yep ropes and pulley simple machine yeah if
Anything this is almost too safe go ahead start letting out the Rope go slow it’s working we did it high five no no no no high fives hands on ropes oh oh boy Wheels we forgot we forgot Wheels how you doing good morning pull oh that’s fun
Pull oh that’s fun again come on Bobby anytime now uh you guys keep shooting no need to look at footman Oliver going about his servant stuff whoops syphilis cough let’s fire up the engine what’s happening why are the servants in the Auto Iris Bob let’s go footman
Oliver what’s going on yeah I I better see what that’s all about it’s the servant Uprising we’re going to eat your dinner our end of lar seven course dinner our end of L 7 course dinner but we’re still on for cigars and Brandy later right go people play Move Your stroller
Teddy no one’s looked this good on a door since cait’s lit in Titanic how’s the patient the pain levels are through the roof but this view is unbeatable it took thrown out my bag to appreciate how beautiful the power lines are in this sky this we’re here wait what closed look he
Left a note closed today for my niece’s quinera a oh dang it today Teresa’s quera harus has been talking about that for months I bet they’re tearing the roof off that Rec Hall I can’t believe we came all this way only to be stopped by a beautiful right of passage we’re
Not we’re going to that k SI I’m not dressed for that did you lock all the doors yes there were so many but they’re locked started raining out there and it’s getting dark I hope the guns are okay all right who’s hungry all right all right calm down this feels so wrong
But they so right would anyone mind if I smoke between courses smoke them if you got them oh now I get that there’s only one course left and we all know what it is Mrs winthorp 7even layer parfait now let’s flambe that sucker drop that match
Uh blow it out and then drop it or just drop it I’m I’m going to blow it out first Marshall sorry how do you even get in the doors are all locked not the Aviary damn it Charlene there were so many doors wow you guys made good time where the hell
Did you get that pocket watch oh it’s on loan from the estate my character Oliver uses it so yeah that parfait is ours we put up with your crap all weekend the parfait is ours eating our fraking seven course meal wasn’t enough no it wasn’t what the hell has gotten into you people
Oh and mud is getting tracked into the dining room I can kiss that cleaning deposit goodbye LPS aren’t supposed to have uprisings he’s right look wait stop everyone yes we did enjoy the seven course dinner so maybe we can share the parfait together as equals equals ha you
Silly simple woman now clean me off and feed me that parfait Nancy don’t you remember what it was like before we came here no we’ve always been here oh boy get that parfait I tried come on servants no no no no no no no no no no
Off limits you’re going off limits lar timeout lar timeout I’m guessing you haven’t been sleeping with a pillow between your knees like we talked about not to worries I always appreciate your tips and I know we’re crashing you beautiful kener but I just need you to
Crack my back fine fine relax and let go you’re not letting go D relax I need you to let go there we are that’s what I was looking for if you can just tap your two toes together tap your big toes together that’s what I’m looking for Teddy can I
Try can I try can I try not right now Jean maybe later you did it DOC oh you sweet sweet angel Dr Horus have you changed your policy about kissing not yet not yet there’s got to be a place to gobble this up the library quick in
There uh you’re not supposed to go in the library Bop all right Marshall let’s he it and eat it well you look at that wa just like on the show oh you found us huh the door’s locked enjoy the view you’d better not watch me m yes that’s my per oh my God it you’re all kicked
Out so good l i loved it you know I think we put that error on a pedestal maybe a little too much life was horrible back then if you weren’t in the super upper class I’m just glad that we live in a time where there are no
Classes I I get what you were going for unrelated we may have left the bathroom door at the wreck Hall Wait what but it’s probably happier there yeah what kind of life was it living here I mean if that door could talk it better keep its damn mouth shut so who wants to
Watch win Mana me I’ll get the Brandy washingon for ACM hypersonic upgrade system sh Aeros forers lock to put
source
