I’m Lloyd Robertson Oh get out of those cheap Jimmy McNichol hand-me-downs and get over here you’re supposed to be a newsman I’m a damn good news man Floyd Guren damn good buffoon now get over here sorry ladies and gentlemen were experiencing lobotomy problems please bear with us tonight’s
Top story the tiny Republic of Togo continues tunning the Soviet Union in the battle in his strongest statement in recent weeks Togo president I you Benz well Earl personal insults at Soviet premier Leonid Brezhnev calling him a quote Tommee Tippee toad pansy unquote he also triple dared the Soviets to try and
Invade his country claiming failure to do so would mean that the Soviets were quote nothing but PAL chips thinking up the face of the globe unquote now political experts agree that the togo’s are inviting invasion because of a failing economy but underestimated the Soviets tolerance to verbal abuse claimed one high-ranking Soviet official
Quote it’s fun to step on a bug but it’s no fun to scrape the mess off the bottom of your shoe unquote Earl you know what your problem is Floyd you have no vision you have no concept of the times we’re living in Earl just read your news item
This is the eighties Floyd you’ve got a you better roll with it you’ve got a skate with it it’s a sign of the times and as newscasters as professional media journalists I feel it’s our responsibility to reflect those times even if it means disco roller skating out to do the news
Perl or heaven’s sake luckily I’m still young enough and hip enough to pull it off the kids identify with me Lord but you Oh Boyd I think you’re a little too old for this job Oh No ah hit a tender spot did with one girl more on justice after the program
Contraire mr. senior citizen I think we should discuss it now I think our viewing public has a right to know if their favorite newscasters are young enough to have a tap on what’s going on in the eighties I think the only thing they’d like to have a tap on is your
Mouth I’m proud to say ladies and gentlemen that I’m a youthful zesty 33 years old Floyd how old might you be and that’s the new boy died how old are you just for interest sake I’m not I’m a zesty 30 ish 30 ish 34 35 36
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